In Washington, Al Gore yesterday called on INS to allow permanent residency status for the family of Elian Gonzalez, the Cuban boy whose shipwrecked raft carried him to immigrant-celebity in Miami.

Speaking to reporters in Green Bay, George W. Bush noted Al Gore's pitch and expressed his own concern that the Vice President was simply playing "Florida politics." (Bush Says Elian's Fate a Test of Gore's Leadership )

Later, Gore spoke to reporters during a campaign visit to a day care center in suburban Washington.  "There's no fooling these kids here," the Vice President said. "They know Al Gore wouldn't mix politics with the fate of such a sweet, adorable innocent child, right kids?"  The children polled strongly in favor of Gore, 57% to 35%, with 3% undecided and 5% napping.

That afternoon the Bush campaign made special arrangements to bring balloons, clowns, cake and ice cream to the Children's Hospital in Greensboro, NC.  Governor Bush, visiting with young terminal cancer patients, took the opportunity to respond to Gore.  "I sure hope the Vice President isn't using the issue of childhood innocence and cuteness as a political move.  I'd just hate to see Mr. Gore play parent politics, why, it'd make me near as sick as poor Billy here.  Whatsamatta with ya, son?"

"Brain tumor, sir."

"How do you like that?  Al Gore continues to ignore the real issues in this country and instead attempts to hide behind kids.  Well I'm not going to play politics like Clinton-Gore.  I want to bring integrity to the White House, and then we can stop brain tumors from killing our children."

Children at the hospital favored Bush 52% to 35% over Gore, with 8% favoring ice cream and cake and 5% unconscious from pain medication.

Gore responded from Peacelawn Cemetery, in Manassas, VA, after attending the funeral of John Sebastian Chabot, a 3-month-old child who died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.  "Talk about voter manipulation!  If I weren't overcome with grief at the senseless tragedy of SIDS deaths, which could be so easily prevented by a comprehensive, non-socialized, universal system of health care, I would give Governor Bush a piece of my mind!  And you can go tell him that!"

Governor Bush took a break from campaigning later that day when his motorcade came upon a traffic accident on I-95 in eastern NC.  Bush rushed onto the scene and immediately began CPR on a 5-year-old boy injured in the crash.  The boy, Timmy Martin of Duck, NC, claimed he was fine.  A spokesperson for the Bush campaign denied charges that the CPR was never needed, could potentially have caused the boy injuries, and was staged for the benefit of press coverage.  Mr. Bush was circumspect: "Now, I would never claim to have saved that boy's life.  I think that would be arrogant of me, especially since that boy was saved not by me, but by the power of Our Lord, who I called upon at the scene to look over the child.  It was the Lord responding to my prayer that saved the boy's life, not my quick efforts to pull him out of the burning wreckage and breathe life into him."

That evening, Vice President Gore cancelled all his scheduled apperances to stop by the home of Sherry Polander, 4, who had seen a violent simulated auto crash on a Fox television program.  Mr. Gore emerged from Sherry's room at the Polander's home in Roanoke, VA, shaking his head slowly as he addressed reporters.  "How many times are we as a people going to sit by and allow these tragedies to continue?  When will we stand up to the big money interests in Washington and say, 'enough is enough.  We don't want our children to be exposed to influences of big money through television or the media'?  To think that with rational gun control and limitations on what can be broadcast before 11 pm we could put an end to violence and pointless deaths among our children - the time to act is now!"

The Polander family split evenly, 40% favoring Bush, 40% favoring Gore, and 20% preferring to lean back in a recliner drinking whiskey sours and watching roller derby. The Presidential election takes place November 7.