Kevin looked around the room, seeing that everybody was finally situated. "Okay, I think we just need to be totally honest and say exactly what is happening."

"You mean what happened with Nick and that we're continuing on without him?" AJ said, his tone sad.

Howie looked around at his three brothers that were seated at the table and then at Nick and Justin who were playing in the corner with some of Nick’s toys that Brian had brought along. "We have to be honest! People are going to wonder, besides the paparazzi is always following us; they'll going to figure out that something’s up with Nick."

"Right, we're going to want to walk around in public with him and stuff," AJ said knowing this was the best thing to do.

Kevin nodded his head, "Plus we're going to have to make it very clear to the fans and people that if they really are good fans that they have to keep things quit. Remember what the doctor said… that Nick can't hear things about his past life. So, pretty much Nick Carter... Backstreet Boy can't exist anymore." As he said this he had to look away in fear he was going to tear up. He hated being the one to have to say that, but it was the only way.

Brian looked down at his hands. "You mean I have to hide all those pictures... we have to hide all those pictures of us with Nick?" Brian didn't think he could do that. No way.

Howie put his hand on Brian's shoulder. "We're going to have to Bri. I know it's difficult but we have to do this for Nick's sake. We don't want him to have some kind of a breakdown or something."

"BOOM!" Nick called from his corner. He was having fun making his toy cars blow up.

Kevin jumped a little not expecting to hear the loud noise. "Justin can you keep him quiet?" he asked, sounding frustrated. It wasn't that he didn't love Nick, but he was having a harder time then everybody else dealing with this.

Both Brian and Howie jerked and nearly jumped up ten feet in the air but remained silent as they watched Nick and Justin play for a few seconds.

Justin looked up from the cars at Kevin. "He's two Kevin; it's hard to keep him quiet. Heck, it was hard to keep him still and quiet when he was eighteen."

Howie sighed. "Guys? Please, be quiet."

Sighing, Kevin shook his head and looked down at his watch. "We've got twenty minutes until we have to go out there. We need to figure out exactly what we're going to say."

"There really isn't that much to say besides what happened and what we're going to do now. I mean we give them the information about the stroke, and then explain that we're going to continue on with the group because that is what Nick would have wanted," AJ said with a shrug, trying to make this not seem like that big of a deal, also keeping his voice down knowing Nick was in the room.

Getting bored, Nick got up from where he was sitting and walked over to Brian, putting his head on his shoulder and sighing loudly.

Brian pushed his chair away from the table just a little, enough to let Nick sit on his lap and rest his head of his shoulder. "What's the matter buddy?" He asked in a whisper.

Justin sighed when Nick got up and left to sit with Brian. He too, got up and sat in the seat next to Howie watching Brian and Nick whisper to one another.

Howie watched Justin watching Brian and Nick but remained silent. He had a sinking feeling about something.

"I wanna go home," Nick whispered with a pout on his face. "Wanna pay wit train."

Kevin sighed in exasperation. "Why does it seem like I'm the only one taking this seriously?"

AJ glared at Kevin. "We're taking it seriously because we're worrying about Nick... isn't he the matter at hand?"

The noise level in this room was starting to increase and Howie started to worry that Nick might get scared. "Guy? Please, keep it down," Howie all but yelled. "And, no, Kevin, you're not the only one taking this seriously BUT you HAVE to keep in mind that we have a two year old to take care of, now. He needs attention and he needs us."

Justin looked at Kevin and Howie. "Maybe I should take him down to the lobby and get him something to eat so that you guys can have a few minutes to yourselves. Just give my cell a call when you guys are ready to go out there or something." Justin got up and headed over to where Nick was seated on Brian's lap. "Hey Nick, you wanna go downstairs to the diner or candy shop or look around or something?"

Brian wasn't too keen on the idea but he kept his mouth shut waiting for Nick to answer.

Nick's eyes lit up and nodded his head as he climbed out of Brian's lap. He then moved to whisper in Justin's ear. "Me get the ocolate you pwomised?

Kevin let out a sigh of relief that Nick was leaving. The over sized two year old made him nervous.

Justin held Nick's hand as they walked out of the room and down the hall towards the elevator. Justin smirked at Nick. "You know it, kiddo. But you can't tell anyone I'm buying you chocolate or they’ll be mad at me. You don't want that, do you?"

Howie noticed the look of relief that crossed over Kevin's face. "What are you so relieved about Kevin?"

Brian looked at Howie, confused for a moment at the question he asked. Looking at his cousin he noticed the slight blush on the older man's face. "What's going on?"

"I just... I don't know how to act around him." Kevin whispered, looking down at the table.

"You just need to act like you would when you're with a normal two-year old because frankly, that is what Nick is; a two year old!" Howie stated.

Kevin nodded his head. "I know it's just hard... I'm sorry if I’ve been acting weird," he said looking up with apologetic eyes.

"This is hard on all of us Kev, so don't feel bad about it," AJ said giving Kevin a smile. "Plus you and Howie haven't spent as much time with him as Brian, Justin and I have."

"Yah, I mean it's kinda difficult but he's really fun and cute to be with," Brian said in a soft voice. "He's very emotional and there are some things he says and sometimes the way he acts... it's confusing... eh, remind me to tell you guys later." Brian decided it was best to deal with one thing at a time and right now they should concentrate on just how they were going to tell the public about Nick.

Howie was curious at what Brian had said. Looking at AJ he noticed him nod his head. He wanted to know what was going on with Nick and what they were keeping from the rest of them. "Okay, let's just get this conference over with."

---------------------

*Ding* the elevator came and Justin and Nick walked into the richly decorated mirror walled capsule.

Nick stood in the elevator looking all around and giggled when he saw himself. He then started making faces in the mirrors.

Justin laughed at Nick's antics and decided to join him, making faces at himself in the mirror. They were having fun making faces that they didn't hear the elevator ding and open on the first floor. When Justin heard throats being cleared he turned around and blushed at the people in suits who were looking at them with amused expressions.

"Hewwo," Nick said as he bounded out of the elevator and right over to where he knew the candy shop was. He had eyed it when they had come into the building and knew he just HAD to get down there.

"Nick," Justin called out and bounded out of the elevator running after Nick past the people who were watching them curiously. "Wait up; remember I will ONLY get you the chocolates if you behave like a good boy!"

"Me am being good," Nick said as he stopped by the candy store just looking in the window at all the yummy treats. "Me want dat… and dat... and dat," he said as he pointed out all the different kinds of candy he wanted, actually in reality pointing at everything there was.

Justin caught up with Nick in a huff. Trying to catch his breath he too looked in the window at all the candy. As much as he too wanted all the candy he sighed. He didn't have THAT much money. Between the two of them Nick had always been the one that had the money and bought them cool treats. He opened his wallet and looked inside. Twenty dollars and... Seventy five… six cents. "Let's go inside and look around."

Once inside, Nick saw something that caught his eye even more then the stuff outside. There in a bin on the far wall were chocolate covered gummy bears. Nick LOVED chocolate covered gummy bears. "Ohh me want dose!" He said as he ran to the bin, but knew better then to just start grabbing at them. "Pweeze Justin... me want dose!" The expensive chocolates that had been in the window were long gone in his mind, he wanted the gummy bears.

Justin was looking at the really big rainbow lollipops that he and Nick used to spend hours licking when Nick ran to the other side of the room excitedly asking for something. Shaking his head he headed over to where Nick was and peered over his shoulder. "Chocolate covered gummy bears? I thought those were Howie's favorite, oh well," Justin said.

Nick bounced happily as Justin got a plastic bag and put about a pound worth of the candy in the bag. "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy," he chanted as he tried so hard to be patient while he waited for Justin to pick out his treat and go pay.

Justin smiled as he grabbed Nick's hand and walked over to the cashier to pay for their treats. "That will be $8.25," the lady behind the counter said. Justin nodded his head and gave her a twenty along with twenty-five cents. When she finished adding everything up and gave back his change he turned towards Nick with a big smile on his face. "You want anything else while we're down here?"

"Me tursty," Nick said as he started shoving gummy bears into his mouth.

Justin nodded his head and walked out of the candy store, with Nick in tow, and headed over to the smoothie shack. "You want a smoothie?"

Nick nodded his head happily as he looked at all the different fruits that were behind the glass. "I want dat... and dat... and dat." he said pointing at the banana's, the strawberries, and the pineapple.

Justin laughed. "Could we please have a large banana, strawberry, pineapple, smoothie, please," Justin asked the man behind the counter." He knew Nick wasn't going to finish all of it but still he was getting the large one 'cause he was thirsty too.

Nick whimpered and covered his ears as the blender turned on to make their smoothy. He didn't remove his hands until it stopped and then used them to grab the big cup, holding it in both his hands. He dropped his bag of candy onto the counter and started to drink the smoothy quickly.

"Uhh," Justin said not really knowing what to make out of Nick's behavior. He paid the $1.75 for the smoothie, thanked the man, and grabbed the bag of gummy bears. "Slow down Nicky, you don't wanna start choking," Justin warned as he escorted them towards the couches in the lobby.

"Tursty," Nick replied out of breath before he started drinking again. He didn't stop until more then half of the smoothie was gone and then he handed it to Justin so he could have his gummy bears back.

Justin handed Nick the gummie bears and took the smoothie. Taking a sip he said, "Hmm, this is really good. What do you wanna do now?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders as he looked around the almost totally empty lobby, which must have meant that the conference has just about started. "I dunno... when Brian, Kevin, AJ and Owie gunna be done?"

Justin checked his watch. "Hmm, I think the meeting is about to start so we have like about an hour... give or take a few minutes."

"We go color?" Nick asked, remembering they had brought some coloring books and crayons with them and they had left them upstairs in the now empty conference room.

Justin shrugged. "You sure you don't wanna look around the lobby or something? I mean, we can go up and color but if you wanna stay down here for a while that's cool too." He just didn't feel like coming back down here if they go back upstairs.

Nick looked around again and then spotted a store a little ways away. "Ohh me wana go dare!" he said knowing that store could be nothing but a toy store.

Justin smacked his forehead. He just HAD to ask Nick if he wanted to stay down here. Sighing in regret he got up and held Nick's hand and they walked towards the KB Toys store. "Alrighty then."

For the first ten minutes in the store Nick literally drug Justin around from isle to isle looking at every single toy there. The funny thing being they were now in the Barbie doll isle and Nick was spending much more time looking at the bright pink boxes then he had on any of the isles.

Justin looked up and down the isle making sure no one was watching two boys who looked to be in their teens looking at none other than Barbie dolls. Leaning towards Nick he whispered, "Why are we here looking at dolls Nick?"

"Day pretty," Nick said, not thinking anything weird about it. But like everything else he got bored so he moved on a hand going to rub his tummy a little. He had drunk and ate his food a little too fast and his tummy was feeling kinda blah.

Justin was more than happy when they walked away from the too pink too fake too bubbly dolls. "I guess they're pretty," Justin said wrinkling his nose. "I think."

The next isle was the coloring supply isle and Nick's eyes went wide as he looked at all the different kinds of stuff. He was so into it all that he didn't even bother to try and ditch Justin when he had to go to the bathroom, not doing his normal 'bye bye' thing. He was too pre-occupied to care, and happy it was making his tummy feel better. "Look dat... me want dat," he said in a voice that was a little strained but other then that he was standing perfectly normal. He was pointing at a batman coloring book.

Justin looked at Nick a bit oddly noticing the slightest hint of strain in his voice. Looking at the book he asked, "You have a superman book upstairs, Nicky. Superman is more fun than batman, don't you think?"

Nick thought about that for a second and nodded his head actually agreeing with Justin there. "Otay..." he said before walking down to the next isle. His eyes went as wide as quarters at what he saw. It was the stuffed animal isle. "Whoa...big...big...bear!"

"Hmm," Justin said following Nick down the isle. "You're right, big bears. Look there's a bunny, and a giraffe, and ohh, what's that Nick? Can you tell me what that animal is?"

"Effent." Nick said with a smile as he told Justin it was an elephant.

Thinking now is as any good time as ever he said, "EL-LA-FENT. Say it with me now."

"EL-LA-FENT," Nick said almost perfectly before he continued to walk, now needing to get farther from Justin cuz his tummy was starting to hurt again and he really had to go potty. Glancing at Justin still looking at the elephant he walked to stand by the big huge bear and filled his pants.

Just then Justin's cell phone started ringing. It was AJ calling to tell Justin that the press conference was over a lot sooner then they had all expected it to be.

Closing his cell phone Justin turned towards Nick who had a look of concentration on his face. Uh oh! "Hey Nick?" Justin questioned as he walked over to where Nick was standing. "The conference is over, we should go upstairs now." Justin looked down at Nick trying to figure out if that look meant Nick was going to the bathroom in his diaper. He really needed to get those baby books either that or pay more attention.

Thankfully Nick was already done and feeling much better. "Otay, go see Brian, Kevin, AJ and Owie!" He said excitedly as they headed out of the store to go back to the elevator.

Justin couldn't help but glance at Nick ever so often. Once they made it to their floor and walked into the conference hall he was relieved. "Hey guys," Justin greeted the four men seated around the table, exhausted. "How did it go?" He watched as Nick ran over to Brian and gave him a really big hug that just made Justin pout a bit.

Brian couldn't help but laugh when Nick ran over to him and hugged the daylights out of him. "Hey Nicky, you have fun?"

Howie reached his hand over and ruffled Nick's hair a bit. "Hey Nick!" Looking over at Justin he said, "It went. At first everyone was like asking questions and everything about what the heck was going on but when we told them what happened... I thought they all were having strokes or something." Howie shook his head.

"Justin got my ocolate ummy bears and a smoothy and let me ook at toys!" Nick exclaimed so excited about what he and his friend had done that he didn't realize what he was saying until he had said it and saw the look on Justin's face. "Ut oh," he said with big wide eyes.

AJ laughed looking over at Justin. "Ut oh is right...you're going to get it now curly."

Nick shook his head like crazy remembering Justin could get in trouble. "No get it... Justin no get it!"

Justin wrinkled his nose. "Thanks Nicky," Justin said blushing and shaking his head with a soft chuckle. Looking over at a frowning Brian he said, "I'm sorry man, I promised him this morning. I can't go back on my word besides kids remember promises and they keep you up on that."

Brian rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't have promised him anything in the first place especially chocolates or sugary stuff but we can't do anything about that now," Brian said. His hand accidentally brushed against Nick's diaper. "Uh oh," Brian said. "Someone needs a changing." He whispered in Nick's ear.

Howie looked between Justin and Brian and then looked at AJ and Kevin before looking back at Justin and Brian. "What else did you guys do?" Howie questioned trying to bring the tension level down a notch.

Nick pulled away from Brian shaking his head like crazy, going over to his toys to play by himself.

Kevin watched Nick with a weird look on his feet. "Is he okay, he's happy one second and now he's like all weird."

AJ looked at Nick trying to figure out his mood. He had been trying to learn how to do that in the last few days but it wasn't always that easy. "I'm not sure if I know that mood... Brian must have said something he didn't like. He's got a creeped out look on his face."

Brian sighed. Not again. "This is what I was talking about earlier... the way he acts and talks. Well anyways, let's just go home and we'll talk about that then. Ya'll coming over or something?"

Kevin nodded his head as he gathered up his stuff. "Yeah I'll come, I wanna hear what you have to say. I want to try and get used to this as soon as I can because I hate feeling so out of it." One thing Kevin hated more then anything was not understanding something.

"Yeah, I'll come... I still have stuff at your house anyways," AJ said with a smile, part of him not wanting to leave Brian for some reason he couldn't put his finger on.

Brian nodded his head as he and Justin started gathering Nick's things together.

"I'm coming too, I wanna help anyway I can," Howie stated as he reached out and grabbed a few of the items from Brian's hands.

Justin stayed quiet or the most part, feeling like everyone was mad at him especially Brian.

"Me hewp," Nick said as he picked up two cars, a coloring book and a single crayon, proud of himself for helping.

Kevin actually laughed at the way Nick was acting. "Wow somebody is a big boy helping cleaning up," he said, doing what they had said...just treating him like all the other two year old he had been with.

"I'll go down and grab the car," AJ said as he walked out of the room to go tell their driver they were ready to go back.

"Yeah, good job Nicky," Howie said ruffling Nick's hair again with his free hand. He just loved doing that for some reason.

Brian, Howie, and Justin followed Kevin out of the conference hall and down to the elevator.

Kevin sniffed the air when they were in the elevator and made a face. "Something smells," he said not thinking that it would be Nick that smelled like that. Yeah, he was comfy with him acting and talking like a two year old but that wasn't something he had thought much about.

Nick didn't think anything of what Kevin said and just started talking to the cars that were in his hands and then making faces in the mirrors again.

Brian looked over at Kevin and shot him a look before moving his eyes towards Nick.

Howie chuckled as he caught on to what Brian was trying to tell Kevin.

Justin just stayed quiet and watched Nick make faces and talk to the cars.

Kevin's eyes went wide and looked at Nick, not really sure WHAT to think of that.

AJ moved so he was standing next to Justin. "Hey man...why the long face?" He asked softly so only Justin could hear.

Justin turned his head to look at AJ and shrugged. He wasn't really close to the other guys, only Nick and he missed his best friend, so much. "No reason," he said.

When the elevator stopped on the main floor Nick was the first one out and he bounced, seeing the candy store again. "OHHH yummy!"

"How can he like bounce...when he’s like...well like that?" Kevin asked a look of amazement on his face.

"No more candy for you," Brian called out as he walked out of the elevator.

"I don't know," Howie answered Kevin. "Maybe he's used to it or something or he doesn't realize he's done anything in there?"

Justin followed Nick and linked their arms together, gently pulling them towards the entrance of the building.

"Me want more ummy bears!" Nick whined, sounding exactly like an overly tired two year old.

AJ laughed as he followed behind. "I think it's time for somebody to have a N-A-P."

Brian shook his head. "I think you've had enough. If you eat anymore you'll get a tummy ache. DO you want a tummy ache, Nicky?"

"Tummy aweddy hut...feel better now," Nick said as they climbed into the van, Nick going to sit in the seat he had when they came.

Brian looked at Justin. "He had a tummy ache already? You shouldn't have let him eat all that candy and drink that smoothie!" Brian sat next to Nick, Justin on the other side of Nick while Howie sat beside him.

"I said I was sorry," Justin said in a soft voice. He felt like crying right now. He snuck a quick glance towards Nick wishing, hoping for his best friend to come back but he knew things are different now and that he'll have to wait for a few more years until they could somewhat regain their old habits and stuff.

Nick feeling bad that he got Justin in trouble decided to come clean about something that he felt nobody knew about really. "Me had to go poopy… dat why tummy hurt...but me all better now...not Justin...no be mad at Justin."

Kevin's eyes went wide and smiled a little at how Nick was trying to get his friend out of trouble.

Brian looked at Nick but said nothing as he relaxed in his seat and closed his eyes. It had been a really long day and he was tired.

"Shouldn't you get your diaper changed then?" Howie questioned not knowing that that was the reason why Nick had acted weird earlier in the conference room.

"He didn't want to," Justin supplied for Howie.

Nick shook his head at Howie as he snuggled up to Brian closing his eyes. Anything that had to do with taking his clothes off had been a reason for his daddy to hurt him, or yell at him or something like that. It wasn't that he really liked being dirty but he was used to having one his parents like to leave him like that for a long time...it was more like he was scared out of his mind to do it.

AJ looked at Justin with worried eyes that said. 'Not something else'.

Justin wrinkled up his forehead. He didn't understand the look that AJ just given him but he did notice the worry etched on his face. He sighed and titled his head back on his seat as he stared at the ceiling of the interior of their car.

Howie looked around at all the people in front of him and then looked out at the passing scenery. He hated not knowing what the hell was going on.

By the time they got home Nick was fast asleep snuggled against Brian's side.

"It sucks we have to wake him up, but we can't really carry him that well," AJ said looking at the sleeping boy.

Brian looked at his cousin with a smile on his face hoping that Kevin would catch the meaning of the look. He didn't want to have to wake Nick up. He looked... peaceful and relaxed and he knew Kevin was really strong and Nick wasn't that heavy.

Kevin knew the look so he climbed into the back of the van and picked the boy up in his arms the best he could and carried him towards the house.

Nick moaned in his sleep a little but didn't wake up, just rested his head on Kevin's shoulder and let him carry him into the house.

"Where should I put him?" Kevin asked once they were all in the house.

"Follow me," Brian said as he walked up the stairs and down the hall towards Nick's room. Howie and Justin following Kevin close.

Kevin carried Nick upstairs into his bedroom and smiled when he saw the boat theme. "I bet he really likes his room," he said as he gently laid Nick down on his bed.

Brian smiled. "He sure does. You should have seen him the first night I brought him home from the hospital. He was bouncing on it and everything," Brian said, his voice showing how proud he was not only because Nick liked the room but also because he'd designed it.

AJ watched as Nick rolled onto his back and went into a normal Nick Carter sleeping position, his hand resting on his inner thigh close to his groin. Adult Nick had even slept like this. Seeing that AJ laughed. "Wow, I always thought he was like feeling himself up when he did that, but he's been doing it since he was two."

"Huh?" Brian said looking at AJ and then back at Nick. He was busy talking to Kevin that he didn't hear what AJ had said.

Howie walked over to the bed and saw what AJ was talking about. Chuckling he said, "Hey, now we'll know just where and how Nick picked up all those weird habits of his. I mean, he's like two now and we're gonna watch him grow up. We can mold him to be the prefect gentleman with manners or something." Howie beamed. "I think I like this idea of being a parent."

Justin frowned. He didn't like the idea that they mold Nick into something that he's not or isn't or wasn't. Justin shook his head. All this was messing with him.

"Should we leave him here and go talk?" Kevin suggested knowing that there were things that Brian had yet to share with him and Howie.

"Should we leave him all gross like that though?" AJ asked, with a sniff, making a face.

Brian sniffed, too. "Uh, I'mma go ahead and change him. Why don't you guys go on down to the living room, make yourself at home, and I'll be down there in a few. Oh and there's some food in the fridge so help yourself."

"Do you need any help?" Justin asked. He could tell that Brian would have some difficulty with changing Nick seeing that Nick wasn't exactly a tiny baby that could be lifted up and changed easily.

Brian thought about it for a second. "Maybe. AJ, you can stay, too."

AJ nodded his head, "Sure thing."

"We'll be downstairs finding snacks." Kevin said as he and Howie headed downstairs to give the other guys some space and time.

Brian then walked over to the dresser and took a diaper out from the top drawer. Walking back over to where Nick was sleeping he paused. He had no clue as to how to approach this situation. "What the heck am I gonna do and how the heck am I gonna go about doing it?"

Justin raised both his brows and looked between Nick and Brian. He shrugged his shoulders. He didn't have a clue either.

"You've changed him before..." AJ pointed out but then remembered something. "Ohh but he's taken a shower right after." He then looked over at the dresser. "Do you have any of those wet thingys...umm diaper wipes?"

Brian grimaced at that idea. He didn't wanna have to WIPE Nick's ass clean. Sighing, "Yah, I do," Brian said as he walked over to the dresser and picked up the box of wipes that was on top of it.

AJ noticed the look on Brian's face and sighed. "I know it's gotta suck big time man, but it's something you gotta do and you have us here to help," he said looking over at Justin. Sure he hated the idea of having to do this too but he'd learned over the years that a lot of the time you have to do things you really don't want to do.

"I know, I know," Brian said as he walked into the bathroom and walked out of it a few seconds later carrying a big white fluffy towel. "Would you guys help me get this under him?" Brian asked nodding at the towel.

"And hopefully he doesn't wake up," AJ said making a face knowing that wouldn't be a pretty picture as he helped Justin lift Nick up slowly so Brian could put the towel under him.

"You're telling me. I mean, I don't really know how he'd react to something like this," Brian said thinking about what Nick told him about his parents. He couldn't help but think what other things they might have done to the poor little boy. "Justin, go in the bathroom and bring me a wet wash cloth. Make sure it's lukewarm."

Justin nodded his head and slowly removed his hands from where he'd been helping lift Nick. Walking into the bathroom he did just as Brian had asked him to before walking back out and handing the washcloth over to him.

Brian shook his head. "Hold on to it for a minute."

He quickly and carefully removed the diaper off of Nick and held his breath. Damn. Folding the diaper up he quickly ran into the bathroom and threw it in the garbage and thinking about it for a second he brought the garbage can with him and set it besides Nick's bed. "Okay, let's start to clean him with the wipes." He handed AJ and Justin a bunch of wipes as he too took some and started wiping Nick off.

Nick whimpered and started to fuss, his eyes opening. He didn't exactly freak out though just got a very upset look on his face like a lot of kids did when being changed.

AJ noticing this and started to make faces at Nick as he kept handing wipes to Brian. Totally thankful when Nick started giggling and forgetting what Brian was doing to him.

Brian suppressed his chuckles as he and Justin managed to clean Nick up completely, especially with the way Nick was giggling and clapping his hands. For a second they both really thought that Nick was really a two-year old... only a really tall two-year old. As soon as they were done they threw the wipes in the garbage can. Just as Brian was about to put the diaper back on Nick he noticed red marks. "Shoot, he's developing rashes."

Justin noticed it too. "I think if we use that powder stuff... you know those special ones that deal with diaper rashes... that could work. You got any of that?"

Brian nodded his head. "Yah, yah, I do." Quickly running over to the bag he brought home from the hospital he rummaged through it. "Ah HA," Brian said as he lifted the bottle triumphantly in his hand and walked over to Nick.

"Ah ha," Nick mimicked Brian still giggling and having a great time at all the faces and silly things AJ was doing.

AJ laughed too actually getting a kick out of this. "You know this isn't so bad."

"Hmm," Brian said as he concentrated on powdering Nick's bottom. "I guess."

Justin chuckled. "I remember when my mom baby-sat one of our neighbor’s kids a few months ago. Let's just say that Nick didn't smell as bad as that baby. Pee-Ouuuu, I don't know what them folks were feeding that child!" Justin said as he playful waved his fingers in front of his nose.

"Nicky tinky," Nick giggled knowing he hadn't smelt that great either mostly because the smell was still in the room a bit. He then started giggling more. "Brian tickle!"

Brian giggled. "Okay, I'm all done with the powder. No more tickle," Brian said making cooing noises as he tickled Nick under the chin.

Justin laughed. "Nicky tinky no more-y," he said mimicking Nick. He then went about opening the diaper and helping Brian put it on Nick.

AJ nodded his head smiling, "Yup now you smell like a rose...or well as close as you're gunna get."

Nick yawned a little his thumb going into his mouth as Brian got his clean diaper on and he was no longer feeling just a tad drafty.

Justin checked the label of the powder. "Well, you were pretty close with the rose. He smells like baby lavender," Justin said. Looking up at Nick he smirked. "You got a nipple Brian?"

Brian immediately turned his head towards Justin. "Language!" Brian warned him. "And of course I have one... actually I have two," Brian said looking at Justin incredulously.

AJ busted up laughing, "I have a feeling that wasn't exactly what Justin was talking about..."

"Great, I'm sure you wouldn't mind Nick sucking on at least one of those then," Justin said rolling his eyes before pointing at Nick sucking his thumb. "A rubber nipple, Brian, you know those things that babies suck on?"

Brian blushed bright red. "Of course I knew that. I was just..." Brian ran a hand through his hair. "...testing you." He laughed feeling stupid. Walking over to the bag he dug around, again, this time for the pacifier. Finding the packet he opened it and walked into the bathroom to wash it with hot water. He wanted it to be clean. Walking back out he wiped it dry with a towel before removing Nick's finger for his mouth and replacing it with the pacifier.

Nick started happily sucking on the pacifier as his eyes closed and his hand moved back to his normal sleeping position.

AJ smiled, for some reason seeing Nick like that made everything just seem more real but in a good way. Without the pacifier and when his pants were on he looked normal. Now with just the diaper and the pacifier he looked like what he was...a two year old.

Justin walked over to AJ and placed his hand on the older man's shoulder. "He looks peaceful and young doesn't he? Like everything fits and makes sense... like this is how it's SUPPOSED to be?" Justin whispered not really wanting Brian to hear what he was saying. He'd been thinking about Nick for a while and he couldn't help but feel that God was giving Nick a second chance. He was always one of those people that believed that everything happened for a reason and that the people in his life were put there for a reason and for a specific purpose.

"You know Curly I was just thinking the same thing," AJ said with a smile and then turned to Brian. "Come on Rok let's go down and talk to the guys, I'm sure if Nick needs anything he'll come down to us."

Brian was too busy watching Nick sleep that he hadn't paid much attention to what AJ and Justin were doing. But the voice of AJ talking to him brought him out of his own thoughts. Smiling he said, "Okay." He turned the baby monitor on that was resting on the nightstand before bending over and gently kissing the top of Nick's head. He smiled even more when Nick titled his head towards him. When they were out in the hall he said, "I'm just gonna grab the other monitor and I'll be right down."

AJ nodded as he and Justin walked downstairs and into the living room where they could hear the other guys talking. "He's clean and fast asleep...it's quite adorable actually," he said as he found a seat.

Justin quietly sat on the floor by the TV figuring that Brian would want to sit on the single big easy chair. He could have easily sat between Kevin and Howie but he was somewhat intimidated by them and he could have sat with AJ in the two-person sofa but for some reason he didn't feel like it.

In a matter of seconds Brian walked down the stairs and made himself comfortable in the single chair with a sigh.

"Is something wrong with Nicky?" Kevin asked the second Brian sat down. "Is there something else wrong from the stroke that the doctor didn't tell us?"

Brian turned the volume up on the monitor and placed it on the table beside him. Leaning forward and resting his arms on his thighs he nodded his head. "Yes, there is. There is a lot more that's happened to Nick." Brian then began to tell them his experience with Nick the first night home as well as what happened last night and that morning.

Justin opened his mouth to tell them what Nick had told him when they were playing with the train but he closed his immediately when Howie spoke up.

"Wait, let me get this straight, Nick's father use to sexually abuse Nick in the shower when he was only two years old?" Howie questioned, in disbelief and disgust..

Brian nodded his head solemnly.

Kevin looked like he was going to throw up. "So that's making him act... strangely now... because he can remember that?"

AJ was the one to notice that Justin was about to say something. "Justin did you have something to add to what Brian said?" he asked, noticing that Justin felt uncomfortable around the other Backstreet Boys.

"Uh," Justin began to say. He felt his face heat up. He didn't know if he should but knew that he better tell them. "Yah, um, yesterday while we were playing choo choo with the train when AJ and Brian went out to talk... Nick kinda told me that his father hurt his bottom. He even touched the bottom on his diaper. I don't think he knew just how to explain what his dad had done. All he said was that it hurt him and by the look of sadness and pain that crossed his face I knew just what he was talking about," Justin said in a soft voice. Tears began to prick his eyes.

"God and Nick never told us," Kevin whispered shaking his head as tears came to his own eyes. "To think all of this had happened to OUR Nick and none of us had a clue." It was then that something occurred to him and he glanced at Brian.

"I remember you telling me once that you didn't understand why Nick...well you didn't understand why he was so against being on the receiving end in your relationship...maybe this is finally your answer..."

"And why Nick always had problems with constipation. I've heard that boys who have been sexually assaulted have problems with that for the rest of their lives," AJ added in a soft whisper, feeling sick to his stomach that all the weird things they never understood before were all making sense now.

Howie swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yea... but imagine all that he remembers is only two years worth of memory, you know what I'm saying? We've only met Nick when he was thirteen... God only knows what they've done to him all those years!" Then looking at Justin he said, "You knew him more than anyone of us. You two were closer than anyone we've ever met. Did he tell you anything like this or something?"

The tears began to flow from Justin's eyes. God he was a horrible best friend. He didn't notice anything bad about Nick or what his dad had done to him. He racked his brain trying to remember anything that might have hinted at something being wrong within that family but nothing came up. He started crying harder, except silently. He shook his head and hugged his knees closer to his chest.

Brian closed his eyes. "I don't think Nick wanted us to know. We all know how Nick is. If he wanted to keep something private he would. He's good at things like that."

"He might have gotten used to it too... as sick as that sounds," AJ whispered making a face. "I mean honestly if something like that had been happening to you since you were two or even younger...by the time you were ten you would probably be pretty used to it."

Kevin ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Well...now we just have to be careful right. I mean you said he's scared to death about anything in the bathroom?"

Brian nodded his head. "He's scared of the toilet. I don't know why but that's what he's scared of the most."

"I'm not sure I wanna know why that is," AJ said making a face. So many totally wrong things were coming to his mind.

"I do," Howie said. "I mean, the sooner that we know why Nick's afraid of something... it could help us to help him to get over it. You know?"

"We could go see if he'll talk to a child shrink or something," AJ suggested with a shrug. "Or just see if we can get through to him."

Kevin nodded, "I think we might want to try that first, I mean who knows if he'll talk to total strangers about it...I think he's too young for that."

"He's too young to go to a shrink. He's gonna be freaked out and probably think he'd done something bad. I think we should just try and get as much as we possibly can out of him with out any pressure," Howie said agreeing with Kevin.

"Yeah cuz we can't have him scared of the toilet forever, I mean I can only make so many silly face," AJ said with a laugh to try and lighten the mood a bit.

Brian snorted. "Yah."

Justin decided to take that moment to quietly sneak out of the room and up the stairs to Nick's room. Once inside he let out his breath and sighed with relief. They hadn't noticed him. Quietly walking over he grabbed a chair and pulled it closer to Nick's bed and sat down so he could watch Nick sleep peacefully.

Kevin looked at AJ weird, "What does a toilet have to do with AJ making faces?"

Brian laughed. "We had to change Nick while he was still in bed just a couple of minutes ago. Nick woke up while we were changing him and AJ distracted him by making faces," he said smiling over at AJ.

Kevin laughed shaking his head, "Sounds like you two make a pretty good team."

AJ turned his head and smiled big at Brian. "I guess we do." He wasn't sure why but just the idea of him and Brian as a team was making him get all tingly inside.

"Hmm," Howie said as he looked between Brian and AJ. Something was happening between those two and he could sense it just like he sensed something going on between Nick and Brian a few years ago.

Brian could tell that AJ was looking at him even though the other man was wearing sun glasses. He couldn't help the shivers that ran up and down his spine.

"So we go back on tour in a few days...how exactly are we going to watch Nick and do what we have to do?" Kevin asked finally feeling comfortable to address this question.

"We take him on tour with us," Brian simply stated. "There's no way I'm leaving him alone or with anyone else. Have you been watching TV lately with all those psycho killing nannies and baby-sitters? Nuh uh, no way." Brian shook his head.

Howie nodded his head. "Brian's got a good point but while we're on stage and everything who's gonna look after him?"

"Justin could come and watch him," AJ suggested, he wasn't sure why but over the last few days he had really gotten to know Justin and thought he would be the perfect one for that job.

"Justin?" Brian questioned. "He's only seventeen AND he goes to school. I don't know if his mom would let him quit school just to baby-sit Nick while we're too busy with performing."

Howie then thought of something. "Well, Nick was being tutored with the private tutors... we'll just get that same tutor to tutor Justin. It's not that big of a deal. Plus, Justin could get to travel the world with us and I'm sure if you talk to his mom she'd understand," Howie reasoned.

"She might even want to come with us," AJ pointed out. "I'm sure management would pay for them to come...hell they would be a lot less money then if we hired somebody to come with us."

Kevin thought about what AJ and Howie were saying. "I think they both might have a point." He said looking at his cousin.

"I don't know," Brian sighed. "Right now I'm sure Justin would come with us but I highly doubt Lynne could. We'll see."

"Hey Justin?" Howie said turning his head over to look at the spot where Justin was seated. "Justin?" He asked when Justin wasn't there. "Where the hell did he go?"

Then AJ smiled when he heard something coming from the baby monitor. Justin was talking quietly.