Kevin leaned back against the wall in the rather large hospital room. It was supposed to be one of the best and the biggest but it still seemed claustrophobic to him. His eyes went from his cousin to the blonde lying in the hospital bed and back again. He felt so bad for his younger cousin. It had to be awful to see your lover lying there like that. He was just about to say something when he noticed movement coming from the bed of the young man who hadn't moved at all in the last five hours.

Nick yawned and wiggled around in bed, acting like he was just waking up from taking a nap. After blinking a few times his big blue eyes opened and looked around at the strange men standing in the room. He swallowed hard as his eyes got even wider in fear.

Brian was immediately by Nick's side when he noticed Nick beginning to stir awake. He watched anxiously as Nick's eyes fluttered open and looked around at them. Taking the younger man's hand in his he smiled. "Hey Nicky," he said softly fighting back the sobs that threatened to come out.

"Hi," Nick whispered in an unsure voice. He didn't want to be rude so he didn't say anything else. He had learned not to talk too much.

"I'll go grab the doctors and say he's awake." Kevin said as he walked out of the room.

Brian remained with Nick, never taking his eyes off of him.

Howie made his way over to where Brian was standing and looked at Nick. "You gave us a scare there Nicky," Howie smiled a small smile. "Don't ever do that do us!"

"Yea," Brian said. He brought his right hand up and moved the gold strands of hair from Nick's forehead.

Nick smiled wide; he always loved getting attention from people, even if he didn't know why he was getting it or just who the people were.

Just then Kevin came back with the doctor and the doctor went right over to Nick. "So Nick, how are you feeling?"

"Me otay...hungy," Nick answered in a childlike voice that caused the rest of the men in the room look at him weird.

Brian furrowed his brows at the way Nick answered the doctor. He looked at Nick and then the doctor with questions practically floating around his head. But it was Howie who asked the question that was on everyone's mind. "Is everything okay with him, doc?"

The doctor looked down at the chart and then back at Howie. "I'm not exactly sure, we don't have the results of his brain activity tests. Not yet anyways, they should be available in about an hour." He replied but then turned back to Nick. "I'll go see if I can find anything for you to eat." He said with a kind smile before getting up. "He seems to be feeling alright, we'll just see what the tests say, though."

AJ who had been totally quiet for most of the time sighed, he hated hospitals, and they gave him the creeps. "I...I'm gunna go get something to drink." He said before leaving the room.

Howie watched as AJ walked out of the room. He knew just how much the other man hated hospitals but there was something else that seemed to be bothering AJ. "I'll go check on him," Howie said quietly following AJ out the door.

Brian, for the most part, wasn't even paying attention to what was going on around him. All this thoughts were on the man lying there on the hospital bed. He noticed that even though Nick was smiling there seemed to be something missing not only in his smile but also in his eyes. Something was different and he got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Nick wiggled his head a little so Brian could run his fingers through his hair again. He had always loved that; sometimes his mommy did that for him when he was sad. "Who you?" he finally asked, wanting to know who the nice man was.

Kevin had decided to go out with Howie and AJ thinking that Brian might want time alone with Nick...or well the person that was supposed to be Nick.

Brian paused running his hands through Nick's as he looked into Nick's eyes. 'Did Nick just ask him who he was?' He thought to himself. "You don't remember me?" He asked.

Nick shook his head as his thumb went up into his mouth. He then looked down at his arm and started to whimper like he was about to cry. "Owie...owie." he said, looking at the IV. It didn't really hurt but he thought it was supposed to so in his mind it did.

Brian quickly removed his hand from Nick's hair afraid that he might have accidentally rested on one of the tubes that were attached to Nick. "What? What's the matter?" He asked looking at Nick as well as around himself. He sighed when he noticed that there weren't any wires near him except that one tube that was connected to Nick's arm. Looking back Nick he said, "I didn't hurt you, did I?" 'And why is Nick sucking this thumb?' He thought to himself.

"Owie," Nick said again as he took the tumb out of his mouth to poke at the IV.

Just then the doctor came back into the room with a file folder in his hand. "We actually did get the tests came back early...and well we've got good news and bad news, unfortunately."

Brian took in a deep breath. He did not like the sound of that and most importantly he didn't like the look on the doctor's face. "Th... There's b... bad news, too?" He asked.

- * - * - * - * - * -

Meanwhile, Howie had followed AJ into the cafeteria of the hospital. "AJ," Howie called after him. "AJ, please, slow down."

AJ stopped and turned to look at Howie but didn't say anything. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say or feel. When Nick had been brought to the hospital hours ago he had been so scared and now that he was awake he was sure he would feel better about it but for some reason he didn't.

"Thanks," Howie said as he caught up to him. "What's going on? Why did you storm out of there like that? Nick just woke up... we should be there comforting him."

"That isn't Nick." AJ said point blank. He knew his friend and the man lying in the bed in there wasn't Nick.

Howie frowned. "What is that supposed to mean? Of course that is Nick. It's Nick!" Howie stated crossing his arms over his chest. He waited patiently for AJ to explain.

AJ shook his head, licking his lips. "No it isn't...something isn't right. I mean didn't you see the look in his eyes when he saw us. I don't think he recognized us at all."

"He's probably just delirious and still on the meds that they put in him. I'm sure when that stuff wears off Nicky would be fine," Howie reasoned out.

“I guess so,” AJ mumbled and then sighed. "Okay, let's go back up and see if the doctor got any of the lab results yet."

Howie nodded his head. "I think before we go we should get some drinks and some sandwiches for everyone," Howie said figuring they might as well get some food since they were in the cafeteria. Just then Howie heard Kevin's voice from behind him.

"Or we could just eat down here and take Brian's up to him." Kevin suggested. "It's really weird up there right now." He said, having heard more of how Nick had been acting.

"What do you mean 'it's really weird up there,'" Howie asked as he walked over to where the sandwiches were.

Kevin sighed, "It's like Nick is acting like a baby or something. I mean he just said he was 'otay' and 'hungy."'

"See I told you something was up." AJ said as he grabbed a turkey sandwich for himself and Brian knowing that's what his friend would want.

Howie looked at Kevin, then at AJ, then back to Kevin. 'Nick was acting like a baby?' He thought to himself. Shaking his head Howie said, "I don't know. Let's just see what the doctor has to say, okay? Maybe whatever it is that's wrong with Nick right now is the because of the medications." Howie said. He grabbed a egg salad sandwich and followed AJ to the cash register to pay for the food.

After grabbing his own ham and cheese sandwich, Kevin followed the rest of the guys to the register. "You're probably right Howie, I'm glad at least one of us is thinking optimistically." He said glaring at AJ a little.

AJ glared right back, "Sorry but I don't like to get my hopes up."

Howie sighed. "Guys, please," Howie said as he paid for his food and waited for Kevin to do the same. "Let's not argue over anything. Nick needs us right now."

Once they were totally done paying for their food Kevin led the way back upstairs. They were turning the corner in the hallway just in time to see the doctor walk into Nick's room. "Looks like we might know what's going on pretty soon."

"Hmm," Howie said as he followed Kevin and AJ quickly into Nick's room, just in time to hear the end of Brian's question, "...bad news?" Howie immediately felt his stomach churn nervously. He wasn't hungry anymore.

The doctor looked at Nick and then back up at the guys. "I think we should go outside to have this conversation." Just as he finished saying this a nurse came walking in with a tray of food for Nick. "Nick why don't you eat while I go talk to the guys okay?"

Nick nodded his head, a confused look on his face now. He could sense when things were wrong and something was obviously wrong now.

AJ and Kevin followed everybody out of the room, not sure if they wanted to know what was going on anymore. If this couldn't even be said in front of Nick then things must be bad.

Brian stayed back for a moment as he watched Nick happily take the food the nurse had placed in front of him. He didn't want to leave him in there, heck; he didn't want to leave Nick's side, at all. "I'll be right back, okay?" He hesitantly walked out of the room and into the hall and joined the rest of the guys in a small room.

"Okay, so as I said to Brian there is good news and, well, bad news." The doctor began once they were all in a private waiting room. "The good news is Nick is physically okay from the stroke." A few hours earlier the guys had been told that Nick had suffered a mild stroke but until he woke up they wouldn't know the extent of the damage, if any at all.

"By that you mean he will still be able to walk and do that kind of stuff right?" Kevin asked, making sure he understood what the doctor was saying.

"Yea, there's nothing wrong with him, right?" Howie asked.

The doctor sighed. "This is where it gets tricky." He then walked over to the wall and turned on a light panel, sticking something up on it. "This is the CT scan of Nick's brain that we took a few hours ago." He then put another picture up on the screen. "This is the picture of a normal 18 year old male's brain."

AJ looked at the pictures and his eyes went wide, you could tell there was a major difference between the pictures. "Why does his brain look like that...and what does it mean?"

Brian gulped. The two pictures looked completely different. "Do...does... did the stroke do that to Nick? What does it all mean? How come Nick's talking the way he is and how come he didn't even recognize us... recognize me?" Brian asked, worried. There was just so many questions floating around in his mind and he wanted answers to every single one of them. Now.

"And you never really explained to us just why and how Nick got a stroke. He's only EIGHTEEN for crying out loud," Howie exclaimed. "I don't understand how this could happen to him!" He looked at the doctor with eyes that begged for answers.

"To answer your question first," The doctor said pointing at Howie. "He had a brain aneurism, which means a blood vessel in his brain dialted to the point were it popped, so therefore he wasn't getting enough oxygen to a certain part of the brain...this part." he said pointing at the part in the picture. "This is the part of the brain that holds memories, and things like that." He then picked up another picture and replaced it with the one of the 2-year-old boy's brain. "This is the picture of the brain of a two year old," He pointed at the different part of Nick's brain and the two year olds, which scary enough matched. "But I must also say that this doesn’t all necessarily have to do with the stroke...sometimes outside factors have major parts in head traumas, that I'm not sure of but it's a possibility.”

"Wait... wait, a minute. By outside factors you mean like he got hit in the head or something?" Brian questioned.

"I don't think Nick's ever been hit on the head. I don't even think he's had any injuries to the head," Howie said trying to remember if Nick did or didn't. Then what the doctor said had finally sunk in. "TWO year old?"

"It could also be stress or mental trauma too." The doctor pointed out and then turned to Howie. "That is the bad news...Nick is perfectly healthy but in his mind it's 1982 not 1998, he's going to need to relearn everything and grow up again. I honestly don’t' think this is something that can be reversed back to normality. There has been way too much damage done."

Kevin sat there not sure what to think, he just wrapped an arm around his cousin and held him tightly to his side. "But he's healthy...I mean he's not going to die or anything?"

The doctor smiled sadly and shook his head. "Nope he's actually in perfect condition to go home tonight, the only problem is we need his parents since now that he's pretty much a minor again they have to be the ones to release him."

Brian stifled the sobs that were threatening to come out and leaned more into Kevin. He couldn't believe this was happening. And more over he couldn't believe it was happening to his Nick, the man he loved so dearly. What was he going to do? He didn't know.

Howie opened his mouth and then closed it. He didn't know what to say to that so instead he opted to keep his mouth shut. Taking in a deep breath he looked down at Brian who was being comforted by his cousin. Then he looked at AJ who had this grim, stone like expression on his face. Howie couldn't help but feel hopeless. AJ had been right. There was something wrong with their Nicky. He slowly approached AJ and put an arm around him, pulling him into a hug.

AJ let Howie hug him for a few minutes and then he heard familiar voices and looked up to see Jane and Bob Carter walking in their direction.

Kevin looked over too and sighed, he didn't care much for Nick's parents but gave them the best smile he could because they were going through this with them now. "Jane...Bob...Hey..."

"What's going on?" Bob Carter asked, looking around between the boys waiting for an explanation.

Howie held onto AJ a little bit tighter when he felt AJ's body stiffen. When Bob asked just what was going on he just looked over at Brian and then at Kevin. He didn't know just how to answer that.

Brian looked up at Bob with eyes full of unshed tears. What the doctor said about outside factors being one of the many reasons to Nick's head trauma was still playing in his mind. He narrowed his eyes as he looked at the man before him but kept his mouth shut. There was no way he was talking to that man.

Taking it upon himself, Kevin began to tell the story of what had happened that day...

Brian groaned and ran a hand through his already sweaty hair. They had been working non-stop to get ready for the new tour and it had to stop. Kevin was already getting in Lou’s face about it because he was actually telling them they needed to fit in even more concerts and TV shows in the tour.

"We have too much to do as it is!" Kevin exclaimed, not understanding how their manager could think they could handle all this stuff. "I mean look at us!" He pointed around at all of them. They were all dripping sweat and looking beyond exhausted.

Lou cocked his head to the side and looked at those Kevin pointed at. "You're hitting the big time now. It's not easy trying to compete in this business. You have to practice; you have to be able to do these dance routines in your sleep. Just because you have had success with the first album doesn't mean you're going to have the same results with this one. You have to be able to top your previous sales. Double the time you rehearse," Lou paused to look around at the men panting. "This is pathetic."

Nick, Howie, and AJ walked over to where Brian was and stared at where Kevin and Lou were arguing. "Fat bastard," AJ cursed under his breath as soon as he emptied half of his water bottle. "We've been rehearsing all day... we didn't even get to eat lunch. What the hell does he want from us?"

"Yah, it's not like we aren't trying out best," Howie said sighing. God only knew how much he hated the fat troll.

Kevin wanted nothing more than to deck Lou right there and then but thought better of it. "I'm not complaining about the work, but every body needs a break every once and a while." He said trying to take a calm approach to things again.

Brian glanced at Nick; he had been worried about his younger lover the past few days. Nick had been getting winded easier and had been complaining of headaches.

Nick turned his attention from Kevin and Lou to Brian who was watching him intently. Giving Brian a wink Nick smiled.

Howie and AJ decided to go over to where Kevin was and join in on the, oh so, wonderful conversation between Kevin and Lou.

"I know everyone needs a break Kevin and you guys will get a break when you've proven to me that you deserve a break," Lou spoke through clenched teeth, annoyed that they weren't taking things seriously.

"Sounds like one of us is going to have to die before we get that break then." Brian stated as he also walked to join the group.

Howie placed his hand on Kevin's back. He knew that the older man was seething with anger if his stiff body and clenched fists were any indications to go by.

AJ shook his head. "I can't believe this. We've been working our asses off all DAY. ALL DAY. It's three in the afternoon and we haven't eaten ANYTHING since 8 this morning." AJ all but yelled in Lou's face.

"AJ," Howie said as he grabbed AJ's arm to keep him in place. "Don't."

“Actually I think he has a point,” Brian said sticking up for them along with AJ. "We need a BREAK...and not tomorrow...not three weeks from now...we need to stop today."

"We're taking a break Lou," AJ said through gritted teeth. "We won't get any better if we continue on without any nourishments."

Nick took in a deep breath as he listened to his band mates argue with Lou. He felt a pang of pain shoot through his spine, from his head down to his feet.

"Fine, go and eat. I want you all back here in one hour, got it? Oh, and I AM adding more concert dates to this tour," Lou said in a voice that meant business and no amount of arguing could or would change his mindset.

"Guys?" Nick called out. "Guys?" Nick tried again, his chest ached and he felt like he was being suffocated from the inside. His voice was soft and so it couldn't be heard over their yelling. He tried again, this time a bit louder. "Guys?" But that was no use. Before he knew it everything went black, as if the switch in his brain turned off, and he fell to the floor with a loud 'thud' that echoed in the room.

Brian turned his head just in time to see Nick fall to the ground. "NICK!" He yelled at the top of his lungs and ran over to his lover who was passed out on the floor. "Somebody call 911!"

Howie immediately ran over to his gym back at the corner of the room and dialed 911.

AJ rushed over to where Brian was holding Nick in his arms rocking him back and forth. "Oh my god!"

Lou just stood there and watched. Nick had probably just fainted, either that or it was all an act made up by them to convince him that they needed a break. He snickered. Little did he know that Nick wasn't pretending.

- - - - - - - - - -

AJ sighed as he flopped down on one of the chairs in the waiting room. Everything was happening so fast he didn't know just what was going on. Once the ambulance had arrived the EMT's had strapped Nick onto a stretcher and loaded him up in the van. Brian went with him. He, Howie, and Kevin called a cab and followed the ambulance. The second they were at the hospital Nick was rushed in to the ER and they were escorted towards the waiting room... where they are now.

It had been over an hour now since Nick had been taken into the ER and Brian was beyond worried for his lover. "Why won't they tell us anything?" He asked as he paced the room.

"They will once they know something cuz." Kevin tried to reassure his cousin.

Howie sat in silence as he watched Brian standing by the door... peering through the small rectangular windows waiting for someone to come tell them what's going on.

"I see somebody!" Brian said as he backed away from the door as a doctor came out.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Garrett and I'm the one that's been working on Nick." He said as he shook hands with everybody in the room.

"What's wrong with him?" Brian asked quickly.

Howie and AJ were by the doctor’s side in an instant... wondering the same thing as Brian. "Yea, what's wrong with him?" They asked in unisom. Howie put an arm around Brian wanting to comfort him.

“It appears that Nick had a mild stroke.” The doctor said. "We won't know the extent of the damage yet we're running tests now but he's still unconscious. You can go see him though if you would like."

"A STROKE!?" AJ screeched out and froze in his spot.

Howie gasped and tightened his hold on Brian when he felt him go rigid. A few moments later he nodded his head numbly and followed the doctor... Brian still in his arms.

AJ brought himself out the daze he'd fallen into and noticed that he was walking behind the doctor. Looking to his right he noticed Kevin with his arms around him escorting him. "He had a stroke?" AJ asked in a soft voice.

"I guess so," Kevin said softly as he walked with them into the room that Nick was staying in.

Brian rushed to Nick's side and automatically sat in the chair next to his bed. Nick didn't look any different. He actually looked at peace, something that was odd for their lives right now. He just only hoped things were going to be okay.

Jane looked at Bob and back at Kevin shaking her head. "Nuh uh...there is NO way we're doing this again! We did it once, we aren't doing it...nope."

Brian's head immediately snapped up, a look of surprise, shock, and disbelief in his eyes. He couldn't believe that Nick's parents wouldn't take him in. It's their son, their flesh and blood.

"We'll sign the discharge papers but he isn't coming with us." Bob said as he grabbed the forms from the doctor and signed them quickly. "We've already got our hands full with the other kids." Taking his wives hand he led her out of the hospital without another word.

The doctor looked down at the papers and sighed. He had a man...wait no a boy who wasn't legally allowed in the hospital now...but had no place to go. "This is great," he mumbled to himself.

"Uhh," Brian said as he got over his shock. "Um, I'll take him." There was no way he was leaving Nick, ever.

Kevin glanced at his cousin with wide eyes. "Bri...he's not the same anymore, maybe you should think about this,” he said gently, knowing there was a lot of stuff they didn’t know about Nick yet.

AJ laughed and shook his head. "He's two, I think Brian knows how to take care of a two year old. So what if he's like a six foot two year old."

"Kevin, HIS parents didn't want him. HIS PARENTS. What does that say to you? Huh? I am NOT... I REFUSE to let someone else take him. I don't trust anyone else," Brian said as he stood up and began to pace. "I am not leaving him in the hand's of a stranger." He ran his hands through his hair. Looking desperately at his cousin he said, "I just can't leave him."

Howie walked up to Brian and stood beside him. "I agree Kev, there is no way we would know if Nick's in the right hands, especially with all the crazy loons out there this day and age. We can't risk it. This is Nick and you know he wouldn't want to be thrown away, especially by US."

Kevin sighed and nodded his head, he knew everybody was right he was just worried for everybody, Nick included. "I know you're right, but just be careful Bri...he’s not the same as he used to be."

Just then the doctor cleared his throat, "If you're going to take him we might want to discuss a few things."

"I know that Kev," Brian said and then turned towards the doctor. "What things?"

"Well, unless you guys know the answers there are some things that we don't know about Nick...do any of you know how he was as a two year old?" The doctor asked, looking at the guys. "I mean everything that he did at two years is the same now."

AJ got a confused look on his face. "You've totally lost me doc."

"We met him when he was thirteen," Howie answered.

Brian put a thoughtful look on his face. "Yah BUT there is someone that I know who has known Nick longer than we have... besides his parents."

Howie looked at Brian confused. "Who?"

"Justin," Brian simply stated. "I know he's a year younger but Justin knows Nick better than anyone of us." He hated to admit that but it was the truth.

"Ohh yah," Howie said. He'd completely forgotten about Justin. "Yah, Justin. Definitely!"

"Okay, well I suggest you guys talk to him as soon as you can." The doctor said with a small smile. "Other then that I just say think like he's a normal two year old."

AJ made a face thinking about the two year olds he knew. "Does that mean he's like in diapers and having those tantrums and shit?"

Brian looked at AJ and then back at the doctor, he wanted to know as well. "Does it?"

The doctor shrugged his shoulders, not really knowing the answer. "I honestly have no idea, we've had him on a catheter since he's been here. I guess we'll just put him in one of the adult diapers we have and we'll see what happens."

Brian grimaced at the idea that he'd have to change Nick's diapers. 'Oh good lord, help me. Give me the strength that I need to get through this.' Brian silently prayed.

"Are you going to be okay with that Bri?" Howie asked looking at Brian.

Brian took in a deep breath. "I will have to be." As if had any other choice.

"We'll help you out as much as we can." Kevin said giving his cousin a big hug.

AJ nodded his head, knowing it would be hard but they could do it.

"Hmm," Brian said tightly hugging Kevin back. "Thanks, you guys."

Howie nodded his head. "Don't even mention it." Turning back towards the doctor he asked, "Is there anything else we should know?"

The doctor shook his head. "Just love him and make him feel comfortable...I know you guys care so much about him so I really don't see a problem."

Trying to lighten up the mood a bit Brian lightly joked. "Hmm, I guess I'll have a head start if and when I get to start my own family."

Kevin laughed at his cousin, hugging him again happy to see that he was trying his best to be happy. "You're right...and if you can handle Nick as a two year old then I'm sure you can handle anything."