* ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** *

Nick downed his eight drink of the night or it could be the tenth drink, he wasn't sure. But whatever number drink it was, it seemed to do the trick but just to be on the safe side he ordered another one. While waiting for his order he turned around in his seat to look at the bodies grinding and bumping against each other on the dance floor and he sighed. He heard the bartender say his drink was set and he acknowledged him with a nod of his head but he continued to stare at the dance floor. Continued to stare at the MAN who had broken his heart years ago, the man who he was still in love with. He then looked at the woman he was dancing with.

"You need to let him go," AJ said sliding into the bar stool beside Nick.

Nick didn't bother to acknowledge his presence. He turned back in his seat and downed his drink in one gulp. Slamming the empty glass down he got up and on unsteady legs made his way to the exit, in the process calling himself a cab. He exited to the back alley of the club. He turned his head slowly, looking from left to right trying to figure out which way he should go to get to the front of the club. He decided on the left side and he began walking in that direction.

Just as he was about to round the corner someone had grabbed his shoulders and pulled his backwards, roughly. Before it even registered in his brain that he should start to panic Nick felt the air being knocked out of him as he doubled over in pain. All he saw was black and darkness with hands, more than two, flying at him. His knees were kicked from the back and he fell to the concrete hard. Someone grabbed the collar of his shirt and roughly tugged him up before punching him square in the face, his jaw, his nose, and then, there it was. Someone kneed him in the groin. He heard laughter. He heard them calling him names. He tried to get a look at who his attackers were but he was in so much pain. He tasted blood in his mouth.

Nick, even though, he was in pain he squinted his eyes as he tried to look up at his attackers but he immediately closed them when he saw a fist coming his way. He waited for the painful blow and when a few seconds passed and he still hadn't felt it he slowly opened his eyes. Someone, a good guy, Nick supposes, had come to his rescue. Who? He didn't know. He couldn't see anything in the darkness. Everything was happening so fast and the alcohol in his system wasn't allowing him to think properly. Then someone, one of the bad guys, had escaped from the pack he was in and came at him with an empty beer bottle.

Nick tried to move but his body was paralyzed with pain and it seemed that the gravity was just too strong. He didn't even have the chance to scream or yell or even utter anything before he was hit in the back of his head with that bottle. He heard it break with the impact and he felt his head hit the pavement before all went black.

* ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** *

When Nick regained consciousness he wished he was unconscious. He felt like his body was one big giant bruised up nerve ending, little did he know that that was pretty much what his body was. He groaned as he tried to move his hand but he seemed to be held in place by something. He was sweating, too.

"Nick?" He heard a panicked familiar voice said somewhere to the right of him. "Oh God please be awake, please."

"A... A...," Nick tried to speak but his throat was dry and he felt like someone had cut it and stitched it back up.

"Shhhh," another voice, much softer and gentler, said. "It's okay Nicky, just relax."

"I'm getting the doctor," a third voice said in a rush and despite all the beeping and noises, he heard someone rush out of the room.

"What the hell happened Nick?" The first voice questioned. "Who did this to you?"

Nick tried to respond. It didn't work. His mind began to clear up and function despite the throbbing headache. He started to recognize the voices. He wanted to tell AJ that he didn't know. He couldn't remember anything.

"Alex," the one with the gentle voice said. Howie, Nick knew. "Please, we can ask him later, let him rest for now."

"Rest? REST?" AJ questioned, furious. "He's been resting for THREE DAMN days!"

Just then the doctor came into the room.

Nick began to panic. He didn't like hospitals not because they were full of injured people or people with some sort of health problems but because every time he'd been in a hospital was due to some thing bad. He'd gotten so much bad news in a hospital that he began to affiliated hospitals with anything and everything bad. Instead of seeing it as a place that gave a second chance at life, he saw it as a waiting place for death.

He also panicked because everything was dark, black. He couldn't see a thing. He could hear everything perfectly but for the life of him he couldn't see anything but blackness. Just like he'd associated hospitals to death, he associated darkness to painful and damaging trouble. Why? It's in the darkness that all bad things happen, especially to Nick. And the causes of it all, especially in this case, which the doctor began to tell him... well, let's just say he wished he were dead instead.

* ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** *

For three months Nick had remained in the hospital, remained in the darkness, remained in that bed in that same exact position. For three months he’d been spoon fed the horrible hospital food. For three months he’d been poked, examined, had blood taken out of him, fussed over, read to, sung to, cried over, yelled at, and embraced.

In those three months he’d accepted the darkness and began to slowly fill himself with it. He was blind. The doctors said that it was only temporary, that he will regain his sight but they didn’t know when. Nick would have rolled his eyes and snorted at that but he couldn’t quite do much considering his eyes were bandaged and his throat still felt like it had been cut open.

No one bothered to describe just how he looked, too afraid that they would scare Nick. No one, except for AJ. Nick had been grateful for his loss of vision because there was no way in hell he would have made it through seeing his purple bruised up body and swollen face. He didn’t think he could handle it. And that, Nick supposes, was one good thing about being blind. He didn’t get to see just how horrible or a monster looking thing he’d become.

He was lucky. Supposedly. At least that’s what everyone keeps telling him. Nick didn’t believe that. He felt that if he had died then that would have been lucky, not… this. Not being alive, blind and in a full body cast. That’s not luck. That’s a fucking nightmare in hell!

He was miserable. He was lonely.

He knew that his family, brothers, and friends all meant well. But there were times he just wished they would go away. They were a constant reminder that there was something wrong with him. A reminder that he was no longer able to sing or dance… or dance. That he, for how ever long, is not a Backstreet Boy.

At the end of the three months, that’s when the darkness consumed him. Instead of fearing the dark, he welcomed it with open arms but there was this one girl, a nurse who visited him when no one else was around that kept him from being the child of darkness.

She would come in to his room and check his vitals and see how he’d been doing that day. She would read him a few of the ‘get well’ cards the fans had sent him. She let him smell the flowers that decorated the room. She would sneak in some real food knowing full well that she could lose her job if she got caught. She would hum a song every now and then, read him part of a book that she was reading at that moment. Let him know the latest celebrity gossip as well as what’s happing in the world. She was the one that had described just where everything in the room was.

Because of this nurse Nick could see again, not literally, but in his mind. She promised him that things will get better and he couldn’t help but believe her. Later he comes to know that her name is Jasmine. She was a night nurse, he found out later. But even in her off hours she had visited him just to keep him company but as soon as she had been notified that someone that Nick knew wanted to visit, she left with promises to come back again, later. Nick couldn’t wait.

* ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** *

The cast had come off. Finally. Nick could move again but with great difficulty. For three months he had lain still in a body cast and now three months later his body really needed that exercise to get back in shape.

His throat seemed to heal quite a bit though not fully but with that little bit he made it known that he had wanted Jasmine to be his personal nurse and that money was not an issue. There were arguments between himself and the doctor. Jasmine was not qualified to be a personal nurse even more she was not qualified to help him with his rehabilitation. Nick didn’t listen. He didn’t care. He just repeated again the only words he could. “I want Jasmine.”

His stubbornness and perseverance eventually paid off. Jasmine was his nurse for however long he needed her. Nick felt proud of himself for making that choice.

His blindness heightened his other senses and he soon learned that he didn’t need his eyes nor his vision to see. His touch, his smell, his taste, his voice, that was all there was to know. He could survive.

When Nick was relieved from the hospital with a clean bill of health, besides his vision he had demanded that he go back to his own house. He was determined to do this by himself. He did not was to be with his mom because she would fuss over him 24/7 and he would not get any privacy whatsoever. He could stay with one of the guys but he just didn’t feel like it.

Jasmine had been with him for the first week, helping him get acquainted with his own house. Letting him memorize just where everything was. She plugged in all the numbers he would need on speed dial. From his friends to family to restaurants. The only thing Nick couldn’t do was cook for himself but other than that everything he could do.

They got to talking one night or day, Nick wasn’t sure but later she confirmed that it was night. She helped him remember what happened that night few months ago. He told her everything that he remembered and in the process confessing to her that he indeed was gay. He had thought she would be disgusted with him and demand that she be let go of her duties of being his nurse. Instead she had embraced him in a hug and kissed his cheek. And Nick felt that he should re-think his sexuality status and make an exception for her. She had laughed and Nick smiled. He then told her about his broken heart and about the only man he'd ever loved and what he'd done. He cried into her arms for a while. She comforted him and offered to go kick the guys ass. Nick had smiled and told her she was too thin to take him on. She had 'tisked' and told him to never judge a book by it's cover.

She told him about the man who had brought Nick to the hospital but she wouldn’t tell him who it was. Nick begged and pleaded. He pouted and whined. He threw a tantrum and tried to bribe her. He even offered her a night full of passionate and hot sex. She turned him down with a ‘Oh, honey, you are just the cutest!’ and a pinch of his cheek, and continued to tell him that this ‘man’ would only visit him in the hospital at night when no one was around. She knew this because she was the only nurse working that part of the wing that Nick was in. So, she knew just who were there and who were visiting. She told him that he was very lucky that this man had came to his rescue when he did.

Nick was still a bit skeptical about being lucky but he didn’t argue with her.

When the first week ended Nick had let her go. He now wanted to do things himself and live on his own. His family and brothers would come and visit him every day but he always managed to kick them out, politely, by the end of the day.

* ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** *

Without Jasmine the days and nights seemed to blend into one. He had no concept of time whatsoever. And he feared the outside world. There was no one to keep him company and misery crept back into him. The darkness once again taking control of him. His mind on other things, he’d forgotten where everything was in his house.

His world was complete darkness. He couldn’t see a thing, he could only hear them. But being in the house all by himself he mostly heard nothing.

He was alone. He had no reason to live. He was nothing.

He was lying in bed. Didn’t know for how long. Didn’t know if it was night or day when he heard his front door open. His family and brothers had just left from their daily visit so that meant it was night time but now that the door opened he didn't know. Maybe he'd been in bed all night and it was morning again. Damn, time really flew by this night.

So, he figured it was day time and that it was one of the guys or his family coming to visit him. They were the only ones with the keys to his place, anyways.

Nick pushed himself up in bed and sat, intently listening. “Which one of you weirdo’s is it this time?” He called out when he heard the foot steps on the stairs.

No answer.

Nick frowned when the foot steps stopped. But he knew enough to know that he wasn't alone anymore. Thanks to his other senses.

"Who's there?" He questioned turning his head to the side so he could hear better.

Still there was no answer but this person began to move into his room.

Nick began to panic as he threw his legs over the side of the bed and attempted to get up. But this mute stranger placed his hands on his shoulders and kept him there before placing a finger to his lips, silencing him.

The hands were large so he knew it was a man. He also knew the touch of his brothers and this man didn't have their touch.

"Who are you!?" Nick questioned sitting down now. He didn't get a bad feeling about this so he figured he was safe.

The stranger cupped his face in his hands for a few seconds, his thumb caressing his lips and cheek. He then brought one of his hands up and began to trace the features of Nick's face. Nick closed his eyes. Something about this touch felt awfully familiar.

The hand moved some of the strands of hair that covered his forehead. And that's when it hit him. "You're the stranger!" He said opening his eyes. "Jasmine told me about you!" He felt the hand freeze and tense before pulling. Nick quickly grabbed the hand. "No, please don't go. Who are you?"

The hands seemed to relax as they went to Nick's shoulder and pushed them down causing Nick to lie of his back, his feet still planted on the ground.

"W..wha..what are... what are you doing?" Nick questioned. "I-" He was silenced with the fingers over his lips again. So many thoughts were running through his mind. He was trying to figure out if he remember all the people who were at the club that night that could have saved him. He tried to think back to the time when he was being beaten up, trying to get his mind to focus on the blur of the man that had saved his life.

Nick felt the hands of the stranger slip under his shirt and Nick couldn't help the moan that escaped him. He hadn't been touched like this... with love... in such a long time that he was instantly hard. The fingers dipped under the waist back of his boxers and shorts. Nick wiggled and said, "You can take them off." The stranger did and paused.

Nick bit his lower lip as the stranger watched him, studying him, memorizing him. He could the intensity of his eyes on him. And before he could say anything else the stranger had grabbed his dick and swallowed him whole. Nick gasped at the sudden heat that enveloped around his dick, at the suddenness of being swallowed, all of him. His back arched up off the bed, his hands immediately fisting in the sheets. "Ooooo," he moaned out in absolute bliss.

The stranger withdrew him from his mouth and began to lick vein on the underside, his other hand going down to gently massage Nick's balls.

Nick writhed under this pleasure and he felt the other man smile around his dick. He thrust his hips up and the stranger seemed to take him in whole again, swallowing and Nick had had enough. He closed his eyes tight as his orgasm hit him hard. He knew that if he still had his sight and this kind of orgasm had hit him he would have been blinded. "Shit!" He exclaimed, panting as he relaxed back on the bed. A few moments later he felt the stranger pulls his boxers and sweats back up and walk towards the door.

"Wait!" Nick called out as he quickly sat up. "Who are you? You saved my life, I..." He stopped speaking, silence. The front door closed. He was alone again. He sat there in shock wondering what the hell just happened. When he came to he reached to where the night stand with his phone was and pressed one on speed dial. "Jasmine," he spoke in to the phone and told her what just happened.

* ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** *

The next night as soon as everyone left he had gone back up to his room and got under the sheets, waiting for the stranger to return, at least he hoped this stranger would return. Jasmine had been vague and told him to just relax and go with the flow of things. Nick trusted her so he listened.

He had been lying in the darkness for a while and he was startled by two things. One, the hands that were under his shirt, caressing his stomach, roaming his chest and two, that he had fallen asleep and hadn't heard the front door open much less the stranger enter his room.

"You came?" Nick questioned, his voice low. "I didn't know if you would but I waited for you."

The stranger pushed the shirt up and above Nick's head, removing it and Nick gasped when a hot mouth covered his nipple, flicking the metal ring there. The other hand went to his other nipple and alternated between pinching and rubbing. Nick was in heaven. No one had ever paid this much attention to his body, to his needs before, not even his ex boyfriend. This stranger was making him feel loved and special and Nick loved it. He reached his hand up and placed it on the strangers body that was hovering over him. He then began to move his hand up slowly to that back of his neck, using that to pull the stranger up to his face.

Using both hands he cupped the man's face, his thumb softly running over his lips and face. Much like how the other man had done to him. Nick closed his eyes letting his touch show him how this stranger looked like. Nick smiled to himself when he realized the man shaved his face and that he had a long pointy type of nose, something that the stranger wasn't all to happy with because he had tried to pull away when Nick was running his fingers over his nose. "You won't tell me who you are," Nick whispered. "This is the only way for me to know at least what you look like." He continued his examination but sighed when he couldn't quite place just who this man was. Nick dropped his hands to the strangers shoulder, linking them behind him.

The stranger leaned down and kissed Nick's neck and Nick shivered as the shivers went from there right down to his dick. He heard the other man inhale his scent before nuzzling his neck causing Nick to giggle at the ticklish feeling. He felt the stranger smile against his neck before moving his hands down between them and pushing Nick's boxers and pants down.

"Please, let me," Nick said when he felt the stranger slowly stroke his dick. "Please, let me repay you for last night." He felt the stranger shake his head against his neck and Nick sighed. "I may be blind but it doesn't mean that I can't give a blow job."

The stranger with drew and hovered over Nick and looked down at his face.

Nick looked up to where he thought the strangers eyes would be, he could him looking directly into his eyes. "Please?" He questioned again.

The stranger hesitated for a few moments before shifting his position so that he was lying on his side next to Nick.

Nick smiled as he turned onto his side before moving down the bed, his hands on the strangers chest so he knew just where everything was. He got on the floor, on his knees, and let his hands trail down the chest before it found the button of the jeans. It took a few seconds but Nick undid the button and the zipper before pulling the jeans and boxers down. He caressed the strangers thighs, rubbing his hands up and down them, feeling the warm skin beneath his touch before taking a hold of his dick. He gasped at how heated, thick, and big it was. With his other hand he spread the legs more as he situated himself between them until his chest was flush against the edge of the bed. He leaned his head down and closer to where his hand was around the dick before sticking his tongue out and tentatively licking the underside. He felt the dick throb and get harder in his hands. He smiled.

Nick continued to give the man head and with the way he was writhing under his attention Nick knew he was doing a good job. Those hands had fisted in his hair, tugging hard, the dick down his throat, as the stranger had reached his climax and was emptying himself in Nick's mouth. Nick had moaned around the dick at the pain that shot through him with the force that his hair was being tugged on but he wasn't complaining. He saw colors dancing around behind his eye lids and he opened his eyes but still saw darkness. He blinked a few times before removing the dick from his mouth and sat back on his knees catching his breath. He could hear the man begin to get dressed and before he left he gave a kiss to Nick's forehead and then a soft kiss to his lips.

Nick was alone again. He called Jasmine and told her everything. She wished him the best of luck and he told her that he had seen colors dance behind his eye lids. She gasped. He told her he still saw all black. She said it would be any day now that he would get his eye sight back. He made her promise not to tell anyone about this. She promised and told him to eat plenty of vegetables and fruits. To also take his vitamins. He did just what she had told him to do.

* ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** *

For the next two weeks the stranger would quietly enter his house and they would take turns giving each other blow jobs. Some times they wouldn't even do that, just cuddle in bed, Nick's head resting on his chest, finding comfort in the rhythmic beating of the stranger's heart.

The stranger would hold Nick protectively until Nick had fallen asleep and then leave when the dawn breaks, before Nick would wake. Some times he'd make them breakfast and then leave before anyone would visit. Each night Nick swore he saw colors dance behind his eyes but when he opened them he still saw the darkness but he never mentioned any of that to the stranger, he didn't want to jinx himself.

One night, Nick had been waiting for him to visit. He waited under the sheets, naked and ready. The stranger arrived.

"Fuck me," Nick simply said when he knew he was standing in the door way. "Please." He could hear the stranger gulp before walking towards him slowly. He could hear clothes rustling and he knew that he was undressing. He then felt the sheet covering him being pulled back before the bed dipped beside him. He could tell the stranger was hesitating to do as was requested. Nick wrinkled his forehead as he reached out for the hand. The stranger ended up holding his hand and Nick squeezed it tight. The stranger let his hand go before placing it over Nick's heart. Nick didn't understand what that meant but then the stranger grabbed Nick's hand again and brought it to his chest, right over his heart.

Before he knew what was happening the stranger leaned down at kissed Nick with so much passion that he felt himself melt into the bed. His senses were working over time and the color behind his closed lids were going wild. But Nick dared not open them, fear of seeing the darkness again. Without breaking the kiss the stranger shifted hovering over him before straddling his hips. When they pulled apart Nick was panting and he threw his hand outwards to the night stand table. "Lube and condom," he said.

Nick felt the stranger lean over and then heard him open the drawer and rummage through it for the items. A few minutes later the stranger moved down, spreading Nick's legs, and situating himself between them. Nick felt two cold lubed fingers circle his entrance and he gasped at how sensitive he was. His sense of touch was extremely sensitive. One lubed finger entered and Nick wiggled at the intrusion. "More," he said. The second finger entered along with a slight pain but Nick was soon writhing on the bed. "More, please, I need more." The fingers withdrew form him and Nick pouted at the loss but that pout disappeared when three fingers entered him causing him to let out a long content moan. Those fingers fucked him steady, scissoring and stretching him.

When Nick felt that he was ready he grabbed the bard of his headboard and prepared himself. "I want to feel YOU inside me now," he said. The fingers were gone again and was replaced by the head of the strangers dick. "Just go all the way in."

The stranger did as he was told and slowly pushed him way all the way inside Nick with out stopped, his hands gripping Nick's hips as he went.

Nick bit his lower lip to scream from the pain shooting through him. Sure, he wasn't a virgin but this was the first time in over two years that he had someone inside of him, especially someone who was as huge and thick as this stranger. He had to keep reminding himself that as soon as the pain wears off the pleasure would kick in. He knew the pleasure would be the best in the world.

The stranger waited for Nick to get accustomed to him.

Nick did and instead of saying anything he began to move down on the strangers dick.

The stranger took the hint and began to slowly pull out of Nick before pushing his way back in. He did that a couple of times before Nick demanded that he move faster, and harder, and faster.

As the stranger hit his prostate each time, make it better than the last hit the colors burst behind Nick's closed eyes. Grunting, Nick tightened his hold on the bars, he could feel himself reaching his climax. The stranger knew it too for he had grabbed Nick dick and pumped him in sync with his thrusts. It wasn't long still Nick came with a scream causing his anal muscles to clamp around the stranger. Nick heard a muffled moan and knew the stranger had also reached his orgasm, emptying himself in the condom.

The stranger collapsed on top of him and Nick left go of the bars as he brought his hands down to wrap them around the man, kissing the side of his neck. "Thank you," he whispered. He felt the stranger nod his head before he was kissing him again, soft and sweetly.

When he pulled back from the kiss Nick felt him watching him. It was then that he dared to open him eyes. His sight was blurry and unfocused but it wasn't darkness anymore. Hope filled his heart as he blinked over and over again till he could see clearly. He looked up in to confused blue eyes which soon was filled with realization that soon turned into fear. The stranger attempted to quickly get up off the bed but Nick's tightened his hold on him. Sure he was shocked as hell to see him. He'd always thought that this man was as straight as a ruler but... he guessed he thought wrong.

"Stay with me," Nick spoke as he stifled a yawn.

* ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** * * ** *** ** *

When Nick woke up in the morning he had to blink about fifty times to get his eyes accustomed to the brightness of the room as well as the rays of light seeping in through the blinds. He titled his head and smiled to himself at the blonde haired man sleeping peacefully in his arms. He reached his hand out and began to slowly trace the once stranger's face. He already knew it by heart, he knew him by touch, he knew him by smell, and he knew him by taste. Now, he also knew him by sight. He held his breath as he watched the eye lids flutter a few times before blue eyes focused on him.

"Morning," Nick greeted with a smile. "Thank you for saving me."

He nodded his head and licked his lips as he sat up slowly.

Nick could that he was still uneasy about being known now. "Why?" He questioned, needing to know why this man had done what he'd done.

"I love you."

Nick gasped.

"I've loved you for a while. I heard through some people that you really were gay and I knew I had to take a chance, that's why I came to that club that night. I wanted to talk to you or at least meet you in person to see if my feelings were real. When I got there I saw you down your drink and walk away from your friend. It took me a while to get through the crowd of people but when I got outside I saw a bunch of thugs and saw you on the floor bleeding. I did the only thing I knew how to do at times like that. I went after them. By the time they ran away I found you on the floor, passed out, blood all over, lying in a pile of broken glass. I didn't know what to do. I knew if I went in to get one of your friends they would accuse me of doing this to you. So, I decided to carry you to my car and I took you to the hospital. Jasmine... she was walking around in the ER when I showed up and started frantically yelling at her to help me. Poor girl, I scared the crap out of her but she had called a few other nurses and soon they had you in a stretcher and were heading towards the ER. I waited. Jasmine came out a few hours later and told me how you were doing and said that I had rescued you just in time. I made her swear she wouldn't tell anyone that it was me. She's a nice girl. I like her. I gave her your wallet and cell phone so she could call your guys and let them know where you were. She also gave me permission to visit you during off hours. I, um, I took your keys, though. I, uh, made copies of it, I hope you don't mind."

Nick had tears in his eyes. "I... I... don't," he said. "I don't mind."

"Listen Nick, I also know about what Brian did to you," He said and when he noticed the hurt and surprise cross Nick's features he immediately regretted saying that. "Sorry. But I wanted you to know that I don't fucking care what people think of me. I won't tag you along just for a easy lay. I already have two kids and I don't really want anymore and even if I do, I'll adopt. But just know that I won't do what he did to you. I'm might be a lot of things but I'm not him."

Nick gulped the lump in his throat and nodded his head. He knew the other man was telling him the truth. He could hear it in his voice, feel it in his heart. All those time he had visited him in the night, at the hospital and at home, he had felt it. "Promise?"

"I promise," he said with a nod of his head.

Nick smiled as he wrapped his arms around the other man and pulled him close for a kiss. "It's going to take a while to get over Brian," he said. "You've helped me to start getting over him, Em-"

"Please, call me Marshall," Marshall said. "Eminem is my stage name. And I know it'll take a while for you to let him go but believe it or not, I'm a very patient man."

Nick smiled. "Okay, Marsh," he said.