Summary: Nick is struggling to make it day by day. Justin is trying to survive stardom. They both live two very different lives, but when they meet on a cold winters night a friendship begins. Will there be more then friendship? Do opposites really attract?

Paring: Justin/Nick (Timbernick)

Rating: PG-13 and Up

Warning: This is slash, meaning there will be male/male sexual relations mentioned in the story. Also, this story should also get a HET warning for those of you that don't like HET content. There are other couples in this story other then Justin and Nick and a few of them happen to be male/female couples. If you don't want to read chapters with explicit HET content then go ahead and scroll down to read the EDITED chapters.

Authors Note: I am really grateful to have a great friend writing this story with me. How we have it worked out is that I write whatever Nick says, and my good friend Kris writes all of Justin's lines. If this is confusing, or if you have any questions about the format feel free to e-mail me and I'll try and help clear anything up.

Status: Incomplete

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Nick made his way down to his floor in a daze. He still couldn't believe this was happening. Once he got to his room he reached into his pocket for his key and all he found was lint. "Fuck." he grumbled to himself as he leaned against the door. "Maybe I left it upstairs." He said out loud to nobody in particular as he turned back around and headed back upstairs.

As soon as Nick left his room, Justin went into the bathroom and quickly brushed his teeth. He then took his dress shirt off, and replaced his jeans with some sweat pants before dropping onto the couch and turning on ESPN.

Nick took a deep breath as he knocked on Justin's hotel room door for the third time that day. Shoving his hands in his pockets he waited for Justin to answer.

Justin barely had a second to get comfortable on the couch before he heard a knock on the door. With a bit of a sigh, he tossed the remote onto the coffee table, and got up to go to the door. A peek through the peep hole told Justin that it was Nick at the door. He lightly scratched his stomach through the thin material of his wifebeater as he pulled the door open.

"Uhh...sorry to bother you." Nick said with a small embarrassed laugh. "I...uhh think I left my key here."

"Oh...OK. I didn’t see it anywhere...but we could look," Justin said...moving over to let Nick into the room.

Nick slowly walked into the room and over to the couch where he had been sitting before. "I'm really sorry about this." he said as he bent down to start looking in the couch cushions.

"No problem," Justin said through a yawn as he closed the door.

After looking through the whole couch, in and under it Nick was starting to get frustrated. "Fucking shit." he mumbled under his breath as he sat down on the floor, running his hands through his hair.

"Not there, huh?" Justin asked as he looked around the table where they'd had dinner.

Nick looked up at Justin and shook his head. "Nope...where the hell can it be?" he exclaimed, getting annoyed at himself and pissed that he was probably screwing up Justin's night and it was all his fault.

Justin quickly ran a hand through his hair. "Do you think you mighta left it in your room?"

Thinking about that for a minute Nick groaned and smacked himself in the head. "Oh fucking great, how much of a stupid ass can I be?"

Justin shrugged. "You're not stupid. It was an accident...happens to everyone."

Nick got up off the floor and sat on the couch. Leaning forward he put his head in his hands and tried not to cry. He wasn’t sure why but his emotions were getting out of control. Just everything was going so great and now he fucked it all up.

Justin took a deep breath as he folded his arms over his chest. "Look, Nick...it's not that big a deal. Why don't you just crash up here tonight...and we can get you a new key in the morning."

Groaning, Nick shook his head. "I couldn't put you out like that." he said, still covering his face with his hands.

"It's not putting me out. There's plenty of room."

:

Nick moved his hands but didn't look Justin in the eye. "You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. You can take my bed cuz you need some rest. I was just about to chill on the couch, anyway."

Nick's eyes went wide. "No way...this is your room...I couldn't do that."

"It's OK...really...just let me go grab my pillow," Justin said...walking toward the suite's bedroom.

Nick stood up and followed Justin, but stopped in the doorway. It was almost too much for him to think of sleeping in Justin's bed. “Now I can tell everybody I slept in Justin Timberlake’s bed.” He giggled nervously.

Justin laughed as he grabbed his favorite pillow and fleece blanket that he took with him everywhere he went. "Lucky you."

Nick giggled again and walked farther into the room, looking around in awe. “Are you sure? I mean this is YOUR bed and YOUR room...i can sleep on the couch just fine.”

"Nah...You’re sick...you need to rest well," Justin said...carrying his pillow and blanket as he headed back out toward the suite's parlor.

“Which is all YOUR fault, since it was you I walked two hours in the snow to see and got this fucking cold.” Nick laughed and smirked, to show he was joking. “But hey it was worth it.”

Justin turned to look at Nick and laughed. "Well...I'm glad it was worth it. Now get some sleep." He stepped out of the bedroom and went over to the couch to set up his blanket and pillow.

Nick watched Justin get ready for bed, still trying to figure out what to do. “Okay then, I’ll talk to you in the morning.” he said before turning around and going into Justin’s room. Taking off his jeans and dress shirt he climbed into bed. It wasn’t until that point that he noticed how tried and sick he was feeling again.

"Goodnight," Justin called...then finished getting the couch ready. He turned off the lights before have a seat on the couch...the only light in the room from the TV. He watched a few minutes of Sports Center before pulling his wifebeater off, then stretching with a long yawn.

Nick tossed and turned in bed for about an hour not able to get comfortable because his head was pounding and he was coughing too much that he couldn’t breathe when lying down.

When Sports Center was over, Justin finally turned off the television and curled up under his fleece blanket. He was exhausted...so he drifted off to sleep right away.

After half an hour Nick couldn’t handle it anymore so he got up and tried to make his way into the kitchen for a bottle of water. He felt so dizzy he was having to hold on to the wall and furniture as he walked. He was almost in the mini kitchen when the dizziness got to be so much even the support of the wall wasn’t much help. He tried to regain his balance but couldn’t and collapsed on the floor.

A strange noise pulled Justin out of his sleep, and he sat up quickly with a start. "What the fuck..." he mumbled...rubbing his eyes and trying to get his bearings.

Nick sat against the wall and closed his eyes. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get the room to stop spinning. Groaning he started to cough again.

Justin heard the coughing and started to realize what was going on. "Nick...?" he said...noticing a figure slumped on the floor on the other side of the room.

Nick looked around the room trying to focus on the voice coming from across the room. “Yeah?” he asked in a weak voice, still trying to catch his breath from the last couching fit.

"Are you OK?" Justin asked...getting up. He grabbed a bottled water from the mini bar and brought it over to Nick.

Nick nodded as he started coughing again. “Yeah...fine.”

"Drink this," he said...handing Nick the water. "I'm gonna go see if I have any cough syrup." He headed out of the room...turning a light on the way...and into the bathroom too look through his bag.

Nick nodded again and took a small sip of the water which made him cough even more. Lying down on the cold floor he brought his knees to his chest and tried not to cry. His body felt like it was on fire and he felt like he had a hippo sitting on his chest.

Justin found a bottle of Robitussin and brought it back out to the parlor. "You have to get up, Nick. It'll be better for your chest if you're upright." He set the bottle on the table, and reached down to help Nick up off the floor.

Nick let Justin help him off the ground, leaning against him.” I...I’m...sorry.” he said, now starting to cry because he felt so shitty.

"Don't be sorry," Justin said with a soft sigh. He help Nick over to the couch and to sit down...then went back to the table for the cough syrup.

Slumping back against the couch he whipped the tears from his eyes. “Shit...this sucks.” he moaned, closing his eyes the room still spinning.

"Take this," Justin said...handing Nick the little cup filled with cough syrup. "It should stop the cough...AND knock you out."

Nick giggled slight and took the cough syrup. “Thank you...and sorry for all this.” he said talking a few deep breaths, his head finally getting back to normal.

"Jesus Nick...stop apologizing."

Nick zipped his lips with his fingers and smiled a little. “Guess I should go back to bed...since I’m on yours right now.” he said fingering the fleece blanket under him.

"If you don't feel like moving, just...stay here. I'll go in the bedroom."

Nick was going to protest but when he tried to get up the dizziness started again. “Uhh...okay, guess I’ll stay here.” he said lying down and closing his eyes. The medicine already taking effect and he was already almost half asleep.

Justin stood there watching Nick pass out right in front of him. He then sighed a tired sigh as he turned and went to the bedroom...without his favorite pillow and blanket.

Nick was out like a light within seconds and without knowing it curled up in the blanket and fell fast asleep.

When Justin got into the bedroom, he tossed all of the pillows onto the floor, and folded up the bedspread so that he could sleep on top of it...and avoid and germs from Nick's cold that might have gotten on the sheets. He groaned sleepily as he dropped himself down onto the bed.

Around 3am Nick woke up and looked around trying to remember where he was. Looking down he noticed the blanket around him and smiled a little. He was wrapped up in Justin’s blanket and that made him happy. But he knew how much Justin loved that blanket, so with semi unsteady legs he got up and carried the pillow and blanket into Justin’s room. Setting the pillow next to Justin’s sleeping form he quickly spread the blanket over him and tiptoed towards the door.

Justin shifted a bit as the soft feeling of the fleece blanket of his bare back woke him up...and he automatically grabbed the pillow to hug it under his head.

Nick heard Justin moving behind him and turned around to see what he was doing. Seeing Justin get comfortable made Nick smile. “Night, Justin...love you.” he whispered before walking out into the living room and curling back up on the couch to sleep.

Justin was fast asleep within minutes...never having been aware of Nick in the room.

Nick didn’t wake up again until it was morning. Looking at his watch he noticed it was already 11am. Sitting up he stretched and yawned. Looking around the room he checked for signs of Justin being awake.

Justin was still sound asleep in the bed...sprawled out on his back...the fleece blanket having been kicked down to his feet.

Walking towards the bedroom he peaked inside and laughed when he saw the blanket at his feet. “So that’s what he does with it”

Justin let out a soft groan in his sleep, and the hand draped over his stomach twitched a bit...something obviously disturbing his slumber.

Seeing Justin move Nick’s eyes followed up his body, for the first time noticing Justin in his shirtless state. Watching his hand he couldn’t help but groan.

Justin's dream suddenly woke him...and he quickly lifted his head to see Nick staring down at him.

Still looking at Justin’s stomach he saw him move again and looked up to see Justin looking at him. Blushing bright red he cleared his throat. “Uhh...morning.” he stammered.

Justin rubbed his eyes and sat up on the bed. "Mornin."

Feeling like he shouldn’t be there, but he couldn’t move from his spot. “Sleep well?”

Justin shrugged...kicking the blanket off and standing up. "OK, I guess," he said...then stretched his arms high above his head.

Not able to help himself Nick’s eyes trailed over Justin’s body and swallowed hard. “Th...That’s good.” he said clearing his throat again.

"What about you...you feelin better?"

Biting his bottom lip Nick nodded, his body hot all over but not because he was sick. “Y...Yeah thank you for last night.”

"No problem," Justin said...getting up and heading for the bathroom. "...glad you're feeling better," he said as he stepped into the bathroom...pushing the door closed behind him. Unknowingly, he pushed it hard enough not to close it all the way...but so that it remained cracked open just a few inches.

Nick wanted to slap himself when he couldn’t keep himself from looking at the cracked open bathroom door. At that second remembering that he was only wearing his boxers and t-shirt when he felt himself getting harder.

Justin quickly used the toilet...then went to the sink to wash his hands and brush his teeth.

The toilet flushing brought Nick out of his daze and quickly walked out of the bedroom before doing anything he would regret later. Grabbing his pants he pulled them on and took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

Justin finished up in the bathroom, and then stepped back out into the bedroom. "Bathroom's free if you need it," he called before getting down on the floor to do some sit-ups.

Nick took one look at Justin getting ready to do sit ups and quickly made his way to the bathroom. Once the door was shut he leaned against it and let out a deep breath. "Get yourself together Carter...before you make a total ass of yourself." he whispered before going to the toilet to pee.

Justin started doing his sit-ups...not stopping until he reached fifty...at which point he took a short break, then started up again.

After about five minutes Nick didn't think he could hide out in the bathroom any longer. Taking another deep breath he walked back out into the bedroom area to see Justin still busy with his sit ups. Closing his eyes he willed his body not to respond. "You really ARE big on the crunches and stuff huh?"

Justin dropped down onto his back with a quick chuckle. "I have to be," he replied after a few deep breaths.

Nick shrugged and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I highly doubt people are going to not like your music or stop thinking you're hot if you don't do million sit ups a day."

Justin shrugged...still on the floor. "I don't know. Lately it seems like my abs that are selling the magazines and getting me publicity."

Nick's eyes trailed down to Justin's abs and laughed a little. "They are nice...but what you look like isn't what has been keeping me a fan all these years."

"That's nice to know."

Yawning, Nick stretched his arms over his head, his hand going to rub his slightly pudgy tummy. "I on the other hand would never have the time for something like that."

Justin shrugged again as he sat up and looked at Nick. "Doesn't matter...you're fine the way you are."

Nick snorted and shook his head. "Yeah uh huh, sure...whatever you say."

Justin stood up and shook his head. "Whatever," he said...stretching his arms above his head.

Moving his legs to sit Indian style on the bed, Nick shrugged. "Okay...so Mr. Tight abs...What’s the plan for the day?"

Justin looked at Nick with a raised eyebrow. "Mr. Tight Abs...?" he questioned...a hand automatically going to his stomach.

Nick couldn't help but bust up laughing. He got to laughing so hard he was rolling around on the bed. The look on Justin's face was priceless.

Justin shook his head with a chuckle. "You're crazy," he said...then headed for the bathroom. "I'ma take a shower...then we'll see about getting you a key to your room."

All Nick could do was nod because he was still laughing so hard. In a way he was glad because it was taking all his power to keep breathing and making it harder to think about Justin taking a shower.

Justin made his way into the suite's luxurious bathroom, and immediately started the hot water in the huge walk-in shower. Once the temperature was to his liking, he stepped out of his sweats, and into the steam-filled shower.

After a few minutes Nick was just lying on the bed looking up at the ceiling. The plan of laughing and not thinking, wasn't working anymore. Now he was all alone to just listen to the shower running and to let his imagination run wild. Pictures of Justin wet and soapy weren’t helping situations at all.

After Justin stood under the hot water for a while to relax his muscles, he went about washing up...singing softly as he did.

Just lying there was driving Nick slowly insane, so he got up off the bed and made his way into the main room and flopped down on the couch. He never thought he would be saying this, but now he couldn't wait to be getting his own room again, and away from Justin at least for a minute. It wasn't that he didn't like spending time with Justin; it was the fact that he liked it TOO much.

Justin finally finished washing up and stepped out of the shower...cursing softly when he realized he hadn't brought a change of clothes into the bathroom with him. Taking a deep breath, he chose the option of wrapping a towel around his waist, and then went out into the bedroom.

Nick noticed his throat was starting to hurt again so got up to get a bottle of water. Once he had the water he noticed the temperature in the room was kind of chilly. Walking into the room, not looking where he was going he ran right into Justin.

Justin stumbled back a bit when Nick walked into him. "Jeez..."

Nick blushed bright red as he tried to catch his footing again. "Sorry..." His voice trailed off when he noticed Justin was only wearing a towel. "I...get...come...cold...shirt." he said stumbling over his words as he continued to stare at Justin.

Justin swallowed hard...noticing the way Nick was staring at him. "What?" he questioned...gripping the knot in the towel he was wearing.

Finally realizing what he was doing Nick moved his eyes to look Justin in the eye quickly, but then just as quickly looked away. "I...came to get my...my shirt." he said, more embarrassed then he had ever been in his life.

"Oh...OK," Justin said...then quickly grabbed some boxers and sweats out of his suitcase, and went back into the bathroom.

Once Justin was out of the room Nick slumped to the floor, bringing his legs to his chest. Taking deep breaths he tried to keep the tears from falling. He knew he fucked things up big time. He knew the way he was looking at Justin. He knew the way Justin reacted.

Justin quickly dried off, and then put on the boxers and sweats. As he recalled the way Nick had been looking at him, he found himself wishing he had a shirt, too. Finally...he took a deep breath, and went back out into the bedroom. 'You're overreacting,' he told himself. 'He's your friend...he wouldn't try anything.'

Nick continued to cry softly in the corner of the room. The shirt and water long forgotten. Images of how his parents reacted when they found out he was gay kept going through his head. He just knew Justin was disgusted and was going to kick him out. He had told Justin he wasn't like that...that he wasn't going to come onto him...God, how could he have been so stupid!

Justin went back over to his suitcase and pulled out a clean wifebeater. After he pulled it on, he walked over to where Nick was sitting on the floor. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly...sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I fucked everything up." Nick mumbled his face still against his knees.

"What are you talking about? Fucked WHAT up?"

Nick finally looked up, tears streaming down his face. "I noticed you're reaction to the way I was looking at you...now you never want anything to do with me...I know how it works."

Justin quickly shook his head. "No...No...It’s not that. I wouldn't do that...I'm not like that."

"I didn't mean to...honest...I didn't mean it." Nick rambled, sounding a lot like a little kid who got caught by his dad doing something wrong.

"No...Nick...it's OK. People look...when they see something they...like. It happens."

Nick shook his head, tears still falling. "It shouldn't have happened...I told you it wouldn't."

Justin racked his brain...trying to think of something to make Nick feel better. "No...No. You told me you wouldn't...like...hit on me. You never said you wouldn't look."

Sniffling, Nick looked up at Justin. "I...I don't see the difference."

Justin rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. It's not like you grabbed my ass...or tried to kiss me."

Nick giggled softly. "Wasn't the farthest thing from my head." he admitted, blushing again.

Justin took a deep breath. "Well...that's OK. Cuz...you just thought it. You didn't...do it."

"But it still bugs you that I thought it, right?"

Justin sat quietly...thinking about it for a bit. "Not really," he admitted.

Nick got up off the floor and moved to sit next to Justin on the bed. "I'm sorry if I hurt your trust or anything, and I’m sorry if I made a big deal of nothing...I’ve just had a really bad time with my straight friends thinking I’m constantly trying to hit on them. I really like being you're friend, and not just because who you are...but you're a really cool guy. It made me sick to my stomach knowing I might have fucked that up because of my stupid ass hormones."

Justin shook his head. "Don't worry about it. You didn't fuck anything up. You're a cool guy, too...and it would take a lot more than you having a couple perverse thoughts about me for me to turn my back on you."

Nick laughed a little and sighed. "This has been one hell of a morning."

Justin nodded as he got up. "Yeah...and I'm sure you're dying to get to your room and shower, or something," he said...pulling a t-shirt on. "...so I'm gonna go see about that key."

Nick got up off the bed and grabbed his own shirt throwing it on. "Do you want me to come with you...I’m the one who should like an idiot, since I’m the one who locked my key in my room."

Justin shook his head as he slipped on his Nike flip flops. "Don't worry about it. It'll only take me a minute."

"Alright...thank you." Nick said showing off his 100 watt smile.

Justin gave Nick a small smile before heading out of the room, and down the hall to his security team's suite.

Nick let out a deep sigh as Justin left the room. Walking over to the couch he sat down and turned on the TV. "What the hell is on TV at this time of day." he wondered out loud as he flipped through soap operas and various kids TV programs. Getting tired of flipping around he just settled on MTV right when one of Justin's music videos started playing. Leaning back he watched Justin dance Feeling himself start to sing the song and move to the beat, while sitting down. Nick stood up and started to perfectly imitate the dance moves and words to the song.

Justin got the spare key from the head of his security, then talked to him for a few minutes...letting him know that he'd call him if he needed security to go out with.

Nick was happy to see that it was a Justin video marathon so he really started to get into dancing to all the other songs, belting out the words. Totally forgetting that Justin was due back any time.

Justin finally made his way back down the hallway to his suite. He had to laugh when he realized that HE'D forgotten HIS key, this time. He knocked on the door and waited for Nick to let him in.

Nick was too busy singing at the top of his lungs and dancing that he didn't hear somebody knocking on the door.

Justin sighed...wondering why Nick wasn't letting him in. He fisted his hand and pounded on the door.

As the commercial came on Nick finally heard somebody knocking on the door. Reaching for the remote he turned the TV down a bit and jogged to the door. "Okay, Okay I’m coming jeeze...keep you're shorts on." he said as he opened the door.

Justin made a face. "Jeez...sorry for knocking on my own damn door."

Nick blushed once again. "Oops...sorry man...I didn't hear you." he said as he moved out of the way.

"Guess not," Justin said...walking into the room. "The TV was loud enough."

"I was busy watching the mating dance of booby birds and was really into it." Nick said just as 'Rock Your Body' came blasting over the TV.

Justin rolled his eyes at the sound of himself on the TV. "Yeah...right. But here," he said...handing Nick his key.

Nick blushed and took the key. "Never knew that booby birds got it on while listening to you did ya?" he said trying to cover himself up, by being a wise ass.

"That thought's just scary."

Nick laughed and put the key in his pocket. "Thanks for the key...and now I’m sure you're kicking me out."

Justin shrugged. "Not necessarily."

"I should go take a shower, I probably smell like shit." Nick said, sniffing his arm pit for effect.

Justin made a face. "Gross."

Nick stuck his tongue out at Justin. "You see how hot you smell if you were as sick as a dog the night before." he teased.

Justin shrugged. "We've all been there."

Smiling he walked to the door. "I'll come back once I smell human...you think of something you wouldn't mind doing for the day."

"It's your vacation...think of something while you shower."

Nick nodded. "Kay, see you in a little bit." With that Nick walked out of the hotel room and made his way down to his own room. Once in his room he stripped out of his clothes and walked right into the shower. Finally letting himself relax for the first time that morning.

Once Nick was gone, Justin went back to the bedroom and changed into some jeans and a clean t-shirt...then went to the couch to play some X-Box.

Nick let his mind wander when he was in the shower. Justin's words echoing through his head. 'Think of something while you shower.' Justin didn't know how hard that was going to be. The only things he could have think of doing with Justin at that moment were things that shouldn't be going through his head. Just the thoughts alone were causing him to react under the warm spray of the water.

Justin propped his feet up on the coffee table as he concentrated on his game...his tongue sticking out a bit.

Moaning, Nick's hand trailed down to his stomach, causing himself to harden even more. He wasn't sure what it was but something in his brain went off and he moved his hand away quickly. "I will not jerk off thinking of him, when he's just upstairs...I will not!" he yelled into the shower and quickly got out. Looking at himself in the mirror he took a few deep breaths. "You are in so much trouble Carter." he groaned as he walked into his room to get dressed.

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After he was sure he was clean and at least half way presentable Nick got dressed and made his way back upstairs to Justin's room. He was thankful he had packed baggy jeans now even though he didn't wear them as often as he used to. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door.

Justin tossed his X-Box controller aside, and shut off the television before getting up to go open the door. "Hey," he said when he saw Nick. "Feeling better?"

Nick nodded and walked into the room. "Yeah, I think I feel human again." He stopped and looked around the room still a little nervous even though he had been there a day now. "I tried to think of stuff to do, but I really have no idea what there is to do in Boston."

Justin shrugged as he closed the door. "I'm not too sure, either. I mean...I've been here a bunch of times...but never really to look around, and shit."

Nick nodded. "Yeah...well there has to be normal shit like restaurants and malls and things."

Justin nodded...going over to the large window to look at his view of the city. "Holy shit," he said out loud even though he'd meant to say it to himself. "It's snowing again."

Following Justin to the window, Nick looked outside too and whistled. "Whoa, and I thought WE got a lot of snow...guess that means we get to stay inside and veg?" He asked turning to look at Justin or at least in his direction because he was having trouble looking him in the eye still after what happened that morning.

Still gazing out the window, Justin made a face that was almost a pout. "Damn...and I really wanted to go out and do something."

Nick had to try hard not to groan seeing the face Justin was making. "We can go out if you want to...I mean I’m used to trudging around in inches of snow."

Justin sighed. "Yeah...I know. Yet another reason this sucks. I invited you out here to get your mind off home...to get you away. And now this."

Sighing back, Nick reached over and touched Justin's shoulder to get his attention. "Do you see me complaining...you asking me to come here has helped more then you will ever know." Of course he didn’t mention the part that was eating at his gut as he touched Justin's shoulder knowing that was all he could ever do.

Justin looked away from the window to look at Nick. "But this still sucks." He sighed again, and looked back outside. "I don't know. I can't see myself trapped in this room all day. Do you wanna at least go out and walk around for a bit, or sumthin...before it gets too bad?"

Smiling, his big smile, Nick nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good to me...maybe get something to eat or something." he said giggling when his stomach growled loudly.

Justin nodded. "OK...sounds good. Let me just make a call..." Justin said as he walked over to grab his cell phone off the coffee table. "...then we can stop in your room on the way down to get your coat."

Nick nodded back and went go to sit down on the couch. Picking up the video game controller before he would sit on it. Holding it in his hands he smiled thinking of memories of playing video games with his family.

:

Justin sort of paced around the suite's sitting room as he spoke into the phone. "No...no...come on, man...I'll be fine...I just wanna walk around a bit..."

Nick looked up when Justin started to sound frustrated when talking on the phone. He figured that his body guards were saying they didn’t want Justin to go out.

"Do you have to?" Justin asked through the phone...then sighed. "Yeah...yeah...I get it...fine." Justin flipped his phone shut and slid it into his jeans pocket then looked at Nick. "Ready?" he asked...picking up his jacket from where it was draped over a chair.

Nick got up off the couch and walked over to Justin. "Yeah...but is everything, okay?"

Justin nodded as he shrugged into his jacket and zipped it up. "Yeah...I just wanted to go alone...and they won't let me."

"Well...I don’t think I would be too good at beating off the bad guys." Nick laughed, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Justin chuckled as he pulled a knit hat onto his head. "It's usually girls," he said...opening the door and stepping into the hall.

Nick made a face of mock horror. "In that case I would really have problems...girls are not my specialty." He joked, following Justin out into the hall.

Justin laughed again as they headed for the elevator. As if on cue, his head security man stepped out of the room next to his, and trailed behind them in the hallway.

Nick looked back over his shoulder at the man following them. "I feel like I’m walking with the secret service or something."

Justin rolled his eyes as he pushed the button to cue the elevator. "Tell me about it," he said...then shrugged. "I just ignore them most of the time...pretend they're not there."

Looking back again, Nick shivered. "How can you, I feel like somebody is watching my every move."

Justin laughed as he stepped onto the elevator. "That's cuz someone IS. But...I don't know...you get used to it," he said...then quieted when Lonnie joined them on the elevator.

Feeling like he should be somewhat polite Nick turned to the other man and smiled. "Hello."

The big black man gave a semi-smile and nodded.

Nick slowly turned back to face the door. "Ookay." he said softly, feeling very out of place at the moment.

The elevator stopped on Nick's floor, and Justin stepped out...when they were significantly in front of Lonnie, Justin spoke quietly. "Don't take it personally. He's all business when I'm out and about."

Nick smiled a little and nodded. "Yeah I know, and that's a good thing...It just feels a little strange to me is all." he whispered as he got out his room key and unlocked the door.

:

Justin just nodded as he watched Nick unlock the door...then stood behind in the hall as the other man went into his room.

Quickly Nick went into the room and grabbed his warn out coat, that even had a few holes in it and probably wasn't too good at holding in rain anymore. Buttoning it up since the zipper was broken he threw on his baseball cap and walked back out the door. "Okay, now I’m really ready."

Justin nodded...then went to get back on the elevator.

Nick quickly ran to catch up with Justin and got back onto the elevator. "So, what kind of food should we be trying to find?"

Justin shrugged...pulling his gloves out of his coat pockets and putting them on. "Doesn't matter to me...whatever you feel like."

Nick thought for a second and shrugged back. "I'm not sure what I'm hungry for actually...that’s why I asked you." he said with a giggle.

:

Justin laughed. "OK...how bout Italian?" he asked before walking out of the elevator into the hotel lobby.

"That sounds good to me." Nick smiled, as he followed Justin out into the lobby, wondering what it was going to be like once they got outside.

Justin nodded...then quickly walked through the fancy lobby and out of the hotel...secretly trying to get as far ahead of his security as possible. He couldn't help but shiver at the cold bite in the air.

Nick had to walk really fast to keep up with Justin but he finally did and started to walk in the same pace as him. "Do we have any idea where we are going?"

Justin shook his head...squinting a bit against the flying snow. "Nah...Let’s walk till we see something we like."

"Okay," Nick said as he brushed the snow off of his glasses, really wishing now that he would have taken the time to put in his contacts.

Justin slowed his pace a bit...so that Nick could keep up a bit better...as he walked along...looking in each of the shop and restaurant windows. Even though the weather was sucky, it felt good to be out and walking around for once.

Nick gasped as they passed by an antique store, quickly stopping and turning to get a better look. "Whoa, look at that desk...Isn't it beautiful." he said sounding in awe as he looked at the really old but beautiful desk in the window.

Justin sort of shrugged and nodded as he stopped to look with Nick. "Sure...if you like that kinda stuff."

Seeing that Justin wasn’t the least bit interested, Nick nodded and started to walk again. He wasn't going to drag Justin into some place he didn't want to go.

Justin watched Nick start walking away, and then called after him. "Hey wait...don’t you at least wanna go in and look at it?"

Nick turned around and started to walk backwards. "Nah, its okay what am I going to do with an old desk anyways?"

Justin shrugged. "You can at least look."

Nick looked at Justin for a second, then the same big smile came onto his face again and he practically skipped back towards Justin and the store. "Okay."

Justin laughed as he followed Nick into the store...where he just puttered around a bit. He really wasn't interested in anything in the antique shop.

Nick, not being a very shy person when it came to talking to people in stores went right to the shop owner and started to ask him questions about the desk in the window. He was more interested in is origin then buying the piece of furniture.

Justin glanced over at Lonnie, who was standing by the entrance to the small shop...then over at Nick. He smiled a bit when he saw Nick talking animatedly to the owner. He was glad Nick was enjoying himself...even though he had no idea why he liked this old, beat-up stuff.

After about five minutes of talking with the owner Nick excused himself and went to try and find Justin .That wasn’t really an easy task in the cluttered shop. Not seeing him anywhere, he walked up to Lonnie. "Umm...sorry to bother you, but where did Justin go?"

The body guard merely nodded in the direction of Justin...who had somehow found the shop owner since Nick had left him, and was now talking to him himself.

"Thank you." Nick said as polite as he could when he really felt like he was talking to one of those guards in England that never talked. Walking over to Justin he smiled. "I didn't know where you went."

Justin turned to Nick...a bit startled by his sudden presence...as he folded a piece of paper that the shop owner had just given him. "Sorry. But don't worry...I couldn't have gotten lost in this little place.”

Nick looked at Justin funny but didn’t say anything about the way Justin was acting. "Yeah, well I sure felt like I was going to get lost." He laughed.

Justin chuckled as he slipped the folded paper into his pocket. "It's OK...I wouldda found you...probably over by your new desk," he said...nodding in the direction of the piece of furniture.

Nick turned to where Justin was looking and back at Justin. As he was looking at Justin it finally hit him what Justin had said. "E...excuse me?"

Justin shrugged. "They said they'll ship it home for you."

Nick could feel tears coming to his eyes as he continued to look back and forth between Justin and the desk, the beautiful desk that he only dreamed of having. "B... but I can't afford something like that." he stammered, trying to keep his emotions in check.

Justin shrugged again. He knew Nick didn't have any money, but he didn't feel the need to put that out there. "It's a gift."

Nick bit his bottom lip to keep from crying as he looked at the desk, he knew he shouldn't accept it but he also knew that Justin wouldn't do something he didn't want to do. So, instead he turned around and without thinking hugged Justin tight. "Thank you." he whispered against his shoulder.

Justin laughed a bit at the sudden embrace...then hugged Nick back somewhat awkwardly. "You're welcome."

When he finally figured how what he had done he quickly let go and blushed deep read. "Sorry, bout that."

Justin chuckled. "It's OK...don't worry about it."

Nick giggled when he once again practically skipped over to the desk to get another really good look at it. He couldn't believe it...this was HIS.

Justin laughed as he walked over to Nick. He really was glad to see him so happy. "Damn, dude...do you think you can wait till you get it home to make love to it? I'm starving."

Laughing, Nick backed away from the desk with a dreamy look in his eyes. "Yeah...let's go find something to eat." he said heading towards the door, but not without looking back at the desk again.

Justin started back down the sidewalk with Nick...Lonnie lurking a few yards behind.

Nick coughed as soon as they hit the cold air again; his throat was starting to get raw again. "Thanks...for that...and for everything." he said softly.

Justin smiled at Nick. "Don't mention it. Like I said...the desk is a gift. And as for everything else...just think of it like you won an all-expenses-paid vacation."

"A very good all expense-paid vacation...I don't even think radio stations would give out a weekend with JT as a prize."

Justin chuckled at that. "Probably not...I couldn't handle that."

Nick laughed. "You mean you couldn't handle spending the weekend with some hormone crazy 14 year old girl?"

Justin simply groaned at the thought.

Hearing Justin groan caused nick to bust up laughing as they continued down the sidewalk. "I'm not sure if I'm much better, but I guess you seem to be able to stand me...at least some what."

"Of course I can stand you," Justin said seriously...looking over at Nick as they walked. "I've like you since I first met you. Why else would you be here right now?"

Nick just shrugged; for once he didn't have an answer to the question.

"Look, Nick. I'll admit that this whole situation is kinda weird...and it's all happening kinda fast," Justin started...his warm breath visible in the bitter cold air. "But...like I said...I like you. You're cool...and you seem real. I don’t meet people like that very often. I think that's why I befriended you so quickly. Who knows...maybe you'll turn psycho on me and I'll end up regretting

It...but I don't feel that way now."

Nick smiled. "I can tell you honestly right now that I'm not going to turn psycho on you. I don't think I even know how to be psycho…and I feel the same way, you're a really cool person...and I'm saying that as plain old Nick Carter...not Nick Carter the crazy fan."

Justin laughed. "Good to know."

"You know it would really suck if I met you and totally hated your guts." Nick said out of the blue, not really thinking about what he was saying.

Justin looked down at the snow-covered sidewalk as they continued walking. "I'm sure it would. I'm sure a lot of people hate me that don't even know me...cuz of the image I have, and shit."

Nick shrugged. "And those people can just think that way...it doesn't mean it's true...I don't think anybody can make judgments about people without knowing them first."

"Yeah...but unfortunately a lot of people do. They believe everything they read in the Enquirer...and in Star...and in US Weekly."

Nick giggled a bit. "I actually like US Weekly...the other two have something to be desired."

Justin laughed. "You can like it...but remember that it's not all true."

"Yes sir." Nick said with a mock salute, grinning like crazy. Just then Nick saw a bunch of kids making snow men in a park just up ahead. "Now that looks fun." he said pointing at them.

Justin looked where Nick was pointing and smiled. "Yeah...it does."

Nick turned to Justin and his smile turn to a smirk before he took off running in the direction of the park.

Justin laughed and quickly ran after Nick. He knew he'd get hell from Lonnie for it later, but he didn't care. He was excited. He was almost twenty-three years old...and he'd never played in the snow before.

Nick quickly bent down and picked up some snow before going to hide behind a tree. Waiting for the perfect moment to throw the snowball at Justin.

Justin got to the park...and just stopped to watch the kids building the snowman...trying to figure out their technique.

Watching Justin from behind the tree that was only like a few feet from the kids making their snow man. He quickly aimed and threw the snowball, causing it to land right on the back of Justin's neck.

Justin cringed at the sudden feel of the cold snow on his neck, and immediately whirled around to see Nick peeking out from behind the tree. "How dare you...?"

"Ut oh." Nick giggled as he ducked back behind the tree. "I'm not here...it's all in your mind." ye laughed.

"Uh huh...right." Justin reached down for a handful of snow then ran over to Nick and threw it smack into his chest.

Nick shrieked and shook like a dog to get the snow off of his coat "Okay, this means war!" he yelled and bent down to get more snow and threw it at Justin, getting him in the stomach.

Justin plastered a shocked look on his face. "On no! Not the pop star's cherished abs!" he teased before grabbing some snow and mushing it onto Nick's head.

Nick stood there with his shoulders up to his chin. "Cold...Cold...Cold." he mumbled but laughing all the same…"And who said you had cherished abs." he said, turning around quickly and pushing Justin down into the show, falling down next to him, laughing.

Justin laughed as he struggled to catch his breath...his cheeks quickly reddening in the cold. "I'm pretty sure YOU think so," he teased...recalling the way Nick had been looking at him that morning.

Nick felt like blushing and denying the comment but here they were having fun and goofing off he didn't want that to end. "You're right, but since I'm the one that smacked them with a snow-ball...I think it's all good."

Justin laughed again...rolling his eyes as he reached over to push Nick onto his back in the snow. He then got up, grabbed two handfuls of snow...and nailed Nick with them.

Nick laughed as he was nailed with the snow. "Oh no...I've been attacked by snow...what am I to do." he said lounging back in the snow, looking up at Justin.

Justin continued laughing as he kicked a spray of snow all over Nick with his sneaker...which was already soaking through to his sock.

Nick could feel the snow soaking into his jeans and almost through his boxers already as he sat in the snow, but he didn't make any move to get up. Instead he just lied there with his mouth open, collecting snow on his tongue.

Justin chuckled as he picked up a small handful of snow, and threw it at Nick's open mouth...getting it all over his face.

Nick shrieked and shivered a little as the cold snow hit him in the face, but he quickly got over it and started to lick it off. "Yummy."

Justin laughed. "That's disgusting," he said in between quick chatters of his teeth. He wasn't used to this cold...and he was freezing.

Nick noticed Justin was shivering and was quickly to his feet. "Hey...come on lets go warm you up." he said rubbing his hands up and down Justin's arms. Not carrying at that moment what Justin thought about being touched by him.

Justin had to laugh again. "We don't have winters like this in Memphis," he sort of grumbled. He shoved his wet-gloved hands into his pockets, and then said, "I guess we should go back and put some dry clothes on. It's starting to snow hard, anyway."

Nick nodded; he was cold but nothing that he wasn't used to. "Yeah, probably a good idea...I don't need you freezing to death on me. You wouldn't be much use then." he joked, as he kinda pushed Justin to start moving out of the park.

Justin laughed...almost a child-like giggle...as he stumbled over his feet and started down the sidewalk back toward the Four Seasons. "Guess we're gonna have to order in again."

Nick laughed as Justin stumbled over his feet. "Watch out there big foot." he smiled as he started to walk back with Justin. "Yeah, but that's okay, being warm right now sounds pretty nice to me."

Justin nodded. "Yeah...it does," he said as he continued walking. He stopped in his tracks when he realized something. "Did you just say something about me having big feet?"

Nick smiled and shook his head. "Uhh...no?" He asked trying to play innocent.

Justin raised an eyebrow under the bottom of his knit hat. "Yeah you did. You called me big foot."

Nick giggled. "So what if I did? You gunna beat me up?" He couldn't help it; he was in a great mood even though he was soaked from head to two. The last time he had as much fun as this he couldn't even begin to remember.

Justin shrugged. "No...I just think you're jealous..." he said in a cool tone as he started walking ahead of Nick. "...cuz you know what they say about guys with big feet."

Nick didn't move for a few seconds after what Justin had said, but when he noticed Justin was getting quite about ahead he ran to catch up. "Oh yeah, that saying is true, huh?" he asked, continuing to play along.

Justin looked over at Nick as he continued walking. "You're the gay guy," he teased. "Wouldn't YOU know?"

Laughing, Nick shrugged. "Don't think I could remember...it's been WAY too long." He really wanted to say something about how he knew that was true, because he had seen Justin only in a towel that morning. A towel that left almost nothing up to the imagination. But of course he didn't say anything like that.

Justin chuckled. "Guess you'll have to wait for another opportunity to find out then. Gotta find yourself a man...one with big feet."

"I thought I already found a man with big feet." Nick said before he could stop himself. Silently he cursed his mouth for opening before he had a chance to think things through. But he tried to keep his cool like he hadn't said anything strange.

Justin swallowed hard. Nick couldn't be talking about HIM...or at least that's what he was trying to tell himself. "Must not have gotten in his pants to find out, then," he played back.

Nick wasn't sure why but he was slightly disappointed that Justin hadn't seemed to figure out he was talking about him. Then again the other half of him was glad. "Nope, can't say that I have." he added as they continued to walk down the street.

Justin let out a laugh...then looked down at the sidewalk as they continued walking toward the hotel.

Seeing Justin's reaction, Nick had a feeling he was wrong about Justin not making the connection. Smiling a little to himself he shoved his freezing hands into his pockets.

Justin shivered quickly...just as they made it to the hotel entrance. The bellhop opened the door for them to enter, and Justin stopped to wait for the elevator.

Nick hadn't noticed now hold he was until they were back in the hotel. Standing next to Justin as they waited for the elevator he could feel how cold Justin was just by standing next to him. "Hopefully you don't get sick."

Justin shook his head. "A hot shower and some dry clothes...and I'm sure I'll be fine." Justin waited for Lonnie to join them in the elevator before pressing the button for his floor.

Nick leaned back against the back of the elevator and watched the little lights movie indicating they were moving upwards. "Yeah, I'm sure you'll be fine."

Mista13181JT says:

When the doors opened on Justin's floor, he bit his lip for a second in thought. "Shit...sorry...I totally forgot to stop at your floor."

Nick shrugged. "That's okay, I'm actually not that cold...or I can always go back down on my own."

Justin shrugged. "Or you can just borrow something."

Just the idea of putting on Justin's clothes was causing his almost frozen body to wake up and thaw out. "Uh...yeah sure that would be great...thanks." he said clearing his throat and then smiling to hide the fact.

Mista13181JT says:

Justin smiled, then stepped out of the elevator and headed toward his room. "OK, then."

Nick got up and followed Justin to his room, his wet tennis shoes making squishy noises as he walked, and his wet jeans rubbing uncomfortably on his legs, causing him to walk bowl legged.

Justin watched Lonnie enter his own room as he unlocked the door to his...then let out a quiet sigh of freedom as he went inside. He took off his soaked sneakers and socks and left them by the door.

Nick followed suit and took his own shoes and socks off by the door. "We are finally out of the watchful eye." He laughed as he dug his toes into the carpet in attempt to warm them a bit.

Justin sighed again as he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on the coat rack. "I know. I mean...don't get me wrong. I love Lonnie...I love all of em. But...damn. Sometimes I just wanna be left the fuck alone."

"Yeah, I can understand that...I mean in a way it's probably like being twenty-two and having your mom or dad following you everywhere. I've learned that the worst thing that people can take from you is your freedom." He ended it at that note, not saying more then that, but closing his eyes for a second trying to shake the bad memories that were going through his head.

"Yeah..." Justin started quietly. "...it's on a very rare occasion that I feel like I have freedom. But...that's just another price of...all...this."

"You like it though right...I mean you like being able to go out and sing and stuff...Or would you rather give it up for something 'Normal'" Nick asked, making finger quotes around the word normal.

Without thinking about it, Justin pulled his damp t-shirt over his head...leaving himself bare-chested. "Honestly...sometimes I just don't know," he started. "I mean...YES...I LOVE what I do...and I'm so fortunate to be doing it. But some things about it suck sometimes." He paused briefly to think before going on. "But...no...I don't think I'd give it up."

Nick swallowed hard as he tried not to stare at Justin's chest. So he quickly looked up at his face and stood as stiff as a bored before he started talking. "I think all jobs are like that though in a sense. I mean there is always something you aren’t going to like about it, but then there is the stuff you really love…which in the long run outdo the bad stuff." He rambled as he continued to just

Stare at Justin's face and eyes that at first was helping the situation but it was quickly starting to cause problems in itself.

Justin nodded. "Yeah...I agree...but still. Loss of freedom is a HUGE drawback...ya know?"

"Mmm hmm...I can see how it would be." Nick said finally turning around and taking off his own coat. Then pulling off his shirt, leaving them both naked from the waist up.

Justin sighed...shaking his head at the frustrating thoughts filling it. "But anyway. I'll get you some dry clothes. Did you wanna shower?"

Nick shook his head. "No, I should be fine with just dry clothes...but thanks for the offer." He smiled, being polite as always, but still not really turning around to look at Justin.

"OK," Justin said...then disappeared into his suite's bedroom.

Nick let out a deep sigh that sounded a lot like a whimper. Looking up at the ceiling he let up a silent prayer to help him get through this weekend...tonight without any major embarrassment.

Justin came back soon after with a pair of baggy sweats and a Tennessee Titans t-shirt. "These should fit," he said...handing them over to Nick, and then heading back toward the bedroom. "If you need anything else...like socks, or sumthin..." he called over his shoulder. "...you can grab em outta my bag." A second later, the bathroom door closed behind him.

Nick watched Justin leave again and walked over to the couch. Setting the clean clothes there he slowly pulled down the almost painfully wet jeans along with his boxers. Once they were off he slipped on the sweats and the t-shirt. Thinking that his feet were a little cold he made his way into Justin's room where he looked around for his bag. Finding it next to the closet he got down on his knees and searched through it for the socks.

As soon as Justin got into the bathroom, he peeled off the rest of his wet clothes, and then climbed into the hot shower. His teeth chattered for the first few minutes...but the hot water finally had him warming up after a short time. As he quickly washed up, a smile came to his face at the thought of the great time he'd had in his short walk to the park with Nick. Although it was brief, it was the most time Justin had had in a while.

Finding the socks, Nick stood up and sat on the bed to put them on. Once he was sure his feet weren't about to fall off from frost bite he got up and walked back into the sitting area of the large hotel room. He thought it might be nice to just lie on the couch for a few minutes and rest while he waited for Justin to be finished. Which is exactly what he did.

Justin finished his shower, and emerged from the bathroom in a towel. He let out a long, relaxed sigh as he walked across the bedroom to look for something to wear.

Nick had actually fallen asleep on the couch, lying on his back, his right hand resting low on his stomach. The only problem was no matter if it was a short nap or a full nights sleep, Nick couldn't shut his brain off from the dreams and fantasies that came during them. So, no matter that he was lying in the pop stars hotel room...the same pop star in his dreams he couldn’t control his body. Wiggling around on the couch a bit, Nick moaned softly, but didn’t wake up.

When Justin was finally dressed in some sweats, a t-shirt, and some dry socks, he returned to the suite's living area. He smiled briefly when he saw Nick asleep on the couch, and then grabbed the room service menu before dropping into one of the easy chairs.

Nick moaned louder in his sleep as whatever he was dreaming got more intense. Shifting around more on the couch he spread his legs more when the baggy sweats even started to get constricting

Justin heard the noises Nick was making, and looked up from the menu he'd been studying. He figured it wasn't a big deal...and went back to deciding on what to eat.

Some how Nick managed to get his hand in his sweats without waking himself up. Gasping a bit and moaning some more as he toughed himself.

Justin looked up at Nick again when he heard him making more noise...and let out a gasp of his own when he saw what Nick was doing. 'He's in the middle of a wet dream, or some shit,' Justin thought. He swallowed the lump that was in his throat, then got up and retreated to the bedroom to leave Nick alone.

For some odd reason as soon as Justin left, Nick removed his hand in his dream and blinked a few times before his eyes opened. Looking around the room he was puzzled to what was going on. He couldn't hear the shower running anymore and wondered what time it was. Standing up he stretched, not noticing the obvious hard on in his sweats he walked to Justin's room and knocked on the door. "Justin?" He asked as he yawned.

Justin looked up from the menu he was looking at...but not really reading...in his seat on the small loveseat in the bedroom. "Umm...yeah?"

Nick opened the door a bit just to make sure he wasn't walking in on anything, when he saw Justin sitting there looking at the menu he opened the door more. "Can I come in...?Or did you want some time alone?"

Justin shook his head. "No...You can come in," Justin said...then cleared his throat before laughing nervously. "I came in here cuz I thought YOU needed some time alone."

Walking to sit on the bed across from Justin he shrugged his shoulders. "Why would I want to be alone...I just meant to lie down while you were taking a shower...you could of woken me up." He said still not noticing how hard he was...he had been with this guy back in his tricking and clubbing days that got a kick out of teaching him control and had him go around hard for hours...so now he never really noticed anymore, at least when he woke up.

"Let's just say that it looked like you were having one hell of a dream."

It took Nick a second to figure out what Justin was saying and then he quickly glanced down at himself and blushed bright read. "Oh shit." he groaned. He couldn't believe he had done that...there on the couch with Justin obviously right there being caught watching at least for a brief second.

Justin took a deep breath. He didn't want Nick to feel embarrassed. "Don't feel bad...it happens to everyone."

"Yeah but not when the person your having the wet dream about is in the room." Nick mumbled. "Yeah...I guess." Is what he said louder.

Justin's eyes focused on Nick's. "You were dreaming about me?" he asked quietly...Nick's mumbled comment not having escaped him.

Nick thought about lying and saying that wasn't what he said but instead he thought he would be mature about the whole thing and be honest. "Yeah...I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that so you could hear it...I don't mean to make you uncomfortable." he said smiling sincerely.

Justin diverted his gaze to the menu that was still in his hand...trying to tell himself that he did NOT just feel his groin twitch at the thought of Nick dreaming about him. 'You're straight, asshole. This means nothing to you.' Justin took another deep breath. "It's alright, Nick. I understand."

Nick smiled even bigger, he wasn't sure what Justin's reaction was going to be but he still felt it had to do with kicking his butt out of the room. "You aren't mad at me?"

Justin shrugged. "A little weirded out, maybe...but how can I get mad over something you can't help?"

Nick shrugged. "I'm sorry I weireded you out...that wasn't my intention...and I know I can't help it to some extent...but I'm still sorry."

Justin nodded. "It's alright," he said again...then cleared his throat. "So...wanna order food?" he asked...trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.

"Yeah that would be great, I'm still really hungry." Nick said, happy for the distraction too. Justin may have been uncomfortable because he was straight and had a gay man dreaming sex dreams about him...But Nick was a little weirded out too...but the though that said dream fantasy knew about that dream.

Justin nodded, and went about reading the menu. He was too distracted, though. "Why, Nick?" he asked suddenly...looking up at the older man. "Why do you feel...that way...about me?"

Nick didn't even have to think much about that question; it was an answer he knew quite well. "I love your personality...you're view on life is so down to earth even though you live in this crazy world that you sometimes don’t like...but you still go out and do it. I love the way you treat your fans...you give them hope." He took a deep breath and kept going. "And that is all the stuff I knew before I met you in person...now it's a 100 times more…You're funny and really easy to goof around with and we like the same sort of things...antique furniture not added into that. Then there are the physical things." Nick stopped there...not sure if Justin wanted to know them.

Justin took a second to digest everything Nick had just said about him as a person...then finally raised an eyebrow. "The physical things...?" he questioned...not quite sure why he was so curious.

Nick nodded and blushed a little. "Yeah...the physical things about you that...well turn me on. The way you pout...that's a major turn on." He stopped to giggle a bit. "Not to mention walking around without your shirt on…you already know I like our abs. The look you get on your face when you’re concentrating on something...that could do me in right there. You're a very sexy person Justin...and I’m talking about Justin Timberlake the normal person...not Justin Timberlake pop icon."

Justin was quiet for another moment...just taking everything in again. He couldn't understand why, but hearing a gay man say all of this stuff about him wasn't exactly bothering him. In fact, it kind of intrigued him. "The way I POUT?" he asked with a chuckle.

Nick groaned for measure just thinking about that pout. "Oh yeah...drives me crazy." he laughed.

Justin laughed out loud. "First of all...WHY? And second of all...I do NOT pout."

"You so do...or I guess its more of this sad look you get on your face that kinda looks like a pout...you got it today when you noticed it was snowing outside and we couldn't go out...and why...I really have no idea why...I mean I'm sure there are things girls do that you don’t get why they turn you on...but it does." Nick said, having a little bit of a hard time explaining what he meant, but he was happy that Justin was asking the questions...he would rather have him ask then shut him out.

Justin shook his head. "You don't know what you're talkin about. And just for good measure...I wasn't walkin around without my shirt on just cuz I know you like my abs. I wasn't even thinking about it."

Nick smiled and nodded. "I know you weren’t…I was talking about what you said when we were playing in the snow...and okay maybe I don’t know what I'm talking about...I've been told I'm mentally ill and insane a few times." he said the humor leaving his voice a bit.

Justin noticed the change in Nick's tone right away. "Wait Nick...hold on...you know that's not what I meant."

Nick nodded again. "Yeah...it's okay, Justin...I don't expect you to understand what I'm feeling...you aren't gay...you don't like men...and the though probably makes you sick to your stomach...I'm surprised you even let me tell you what I just did."

Justin just looked at Nick for a minute before he spoke. "It doesn't make me sick, Nick...not at all," he admitted quietly.

"It doesn't?" Nick asked softly, sounding a lot like a little kid. It was just that the only person who was straight that knew he was gay and didn't feel at sick about it when he talked about boyfriends or whatever was his boss from Starbucks.

Justin shook his head. "No. In fact...to be honest...it kind of interests me."

It was Nick's turn to raise an eyebrow. "It does?"

Justin nodded. He didn't know why he was telling Nick all of this...admitting it freely...but he figured that it was probably because Nick was the first gay friend he'd had since one of his bandmates...whom he never talked openly with. "I don't know...I'm just curious about it...and I guess about what would attract a guy to me. Since...ya know...the only confessions of attraction I've gotten from guys have been psycho fanatic love letters."

Nick made a face at the thought of that. "I haven't read any of them and the thought scares me." Taking a deep breath he smiled. "You can ask me anything you need to...anything I won't mind."

Justin shook his head. "Naw...I'm sure it's a bit too personal. And besides...how comfortable could you possibly feel talking about this shit with a guy...I don't know...I guess a guy you have a crush on...as juvenile as that sounds."

Nick shrugged. "I don't mind...honestly...cuz having questions inside isn't good...to be wondering and shit like that. I'm not saying that deep down your gay or something and questioning that...It’s normal for any guy to wonder stuff like that...I had a good friend tell me that once."

Justin shrugged. "Maybe," he said...then breathed deeply and tossed Nick the menu he'd been holding. "OK...let's eat."

Shaken slightly from the change of events Nick opened the menu and started to look through it. "The spaghetti and garlic bread sounds kind of good to me." he said, thinking about how Justin had mentioned Italian earlier.

"Alright," Justin said...going to the phone by the bed. He ordered two plates of spaghetti and a bottle of expensive wine before hanging up.

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Justin put the last bite of his spaghetti into his mouth, then set his fork down in the empty plate and sat back in his chair as he chewed it. Once he'd swallowed, he reached for his wine glass with a small groan. "Damn...that was delicious...but now I'm stuffed," he said before drinking down the last bit of his third glass of wine.

Nick nodded in total agreement as he too leaned back in his chair. "That was some of the best food I've had in a long time." He said with a content sigh. He too was on his third glass of wine and feeling a pretty good buzz running through his system.

Justin nodded. "Yeah...I know. The Four Seasons definitely has the best hotel food in my opinion."

"I will keep that in mind when I go on my many trips." Nick giggled as he sat back up so he could grab his wine class again, and took a sip.

Justin watched Nick sip his wine, then glanced at the empty bottle. "Feel like some more wine? I could order up another bottle."

Nick thought about that for a minute, he knew he tried to stand up he would already be tipsy, but probably against his better judgment Nick nodded. "Yeah, that sounds good...this stuff is almost as good as the food." he said tilting his glass up before taking another drink.

Justin chuckled as he got up to go to the phone. "Yeah...it is, surprisingly...and I'm not a wine person." He picked up the phone and dialed room service...his free hand lifting his t-shirt up a bit to scratch his stomach as he ordered the wine.

Nick quickly glanced away from Justin when he started to scratch his stomach. It must be a sign that you've totally lost your mind if you find somebody scratching a turn on. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts he drank the last of the wine in his glass and waited for Justin to be finished on the phone.

Justin hung up the phone and headed back to the small dining table. "They said about ten minutes, or so," he said...dropping back into his chair. "I ordered some fruit, too...for dessert."

Nick smiled big. "I love fruit." he said and then laughed at how ridiculous that probably sounded.

Justin laughed. "Yeah...OK."

Running his hands through his hair, Nick leaned back in the chair again and looked up at the ceiling. Yeah, he was definitely on his way to being drunk. He was thankful the room wasn't spinning yet, so that was at least a somewhat good sign. "What should we do now?" he asked, still looking up at the ceiling.

Justin shrugged...then looked over out the large window at the rapidly-falling snow. "Wanna order up a movie?"

Nick looked up and his eyes followed Justin's gaze. "That sounds good to me...seems like we're stuck here at least for today."

Justin nodded. "Yeah...hope things are better before my show tomorrow night."

Yeah...you might not have that many fans who would walk through the snow to get to the snow. I'm probably one of a kind and totally insane." Nick laughed, and got up out of the chair to stretch. The shirt he barrowed from Justin riding up, showing off his slightly puddgy stomach as his arms stretched in the air.

Justin glanced at Nick and laughed. "Yeah...I agree...you're insane...AND one of a kind," he said as he, too, stood up and stretched. "Take a look at the movie guide and pick something. I'ma go to the bathroom."

Nick nodded and made his way over to the couch on slightly unsteady feet. Flopping on the couch he turned on the TV and started to flip through the channels to see what was playing.

Justin went through the bedroom to the bathroom, where he quickly peed and washed his hands. When he came back to the sitting room, he grabbed the hotel guide and flopped down on the couch beside Nick. "Let's get a pay-per-view," he said...opening the book to the pay movie section.

Nick leaned in a little closer so he could look at the movie section too. "All of them look at least halfway good to watch." he said when he saw all the titles, even though he didn't know what some of them were. "Oh yeah there we go...porn." he joked, giggling.

Justin laughed. "I still can't believe that hotels actually offer that shit. We used to get it all the time in the old days."

Nick laughed. "I so have a dirty picture in my head involving all the members of NSYNC sitting around a hotel room jerking off...I'm not sure if it's a good picture or not."

Justin chuckled as he turned the page. "It's not. Man...I think I got my first boner to that shit."

"I think everybody does...or at least like second or third one." Nick shook his head from the memory, as he looked at the next page with Justin.

Justin let out a final laugh and a sigh at the memory. "OK...so what do you feel like watching?"

Nick looked down the list and smiled when he saw something he had always wanted to see. "How about Pirates of the Caribbean?"

Justin nodded. "Sure...sounds good. I usually like Disney movies," he said...getting up to, once again, go to the phone...so he could dial up the movie.

"You sure have to call for a lot of things around this place." Nick said, grabbing a blanket off the couch and getting comfy.

Justin laughed as he hung up the phone. "Only the stuff that costs money," he said...sitting back down. "It starts in twenty minutes on channel thirty-four."

Nick grabbed the remote and changed the channel to thirty-four. Spy kids 3D was just finishing. "Now this looks dumb." he said as he offered Justin some of the large blanket.

Feeling a chill in the air, Justin pulled some of the blanket over his lap as he propped his feet up on the coffee table. "Yeah...my little brothers liked it, though," he said with a fond smile as he looked at the television.

Nick smiled at the smile on Justin's face. "My brother did too...and he's not all that little." he laughed as he looked at the TV, the credits for the movie going over the screen. "When do you get to see them next?"

Justin shrugged. "I was hoping soon...but now I don't know...with all this snow everywhere. Christmas, I suppose," he said...glad that the holiday was only a couple weeks away.

"Well...that's good...I'm sure they'll be happy to spend time with their big brother." Nick said, trying hard not to think of the upcoming holidays.

Justin nodded. "What about you? What are you doing for the Holidays?"

"Normally I just work extra hours at the bar...for all those weird old men who want to get away from their families." Nick sighed. "So this year I'll probably work extra hours at Starbucks."

Justin looked over at Nick. "Damn, I don't even work on Christmas...and I never have a fuckin day off."

"I could have it off if I wanted to." Nick said as he brought his legs up onto the couch, tucking them under himself.

"So...why don't you? Especially if you have your brother living with you now. Or...will he be with the rest of your family?"

"He'll be with the rest of my family at our grand parents house...like they do every year. The whole extended family comes over to presents and holiday cheer." Nick said, his voice a little bitter.

"So..." Justin started quietly. "...if you don't work, you'll just be home alone."

Nick nodded. "Basically...yeah."

"No friends you could spend it with?"

Nick shook his head. "I don't really have many friends."

Justin nodded slowly...then thought quietly for a moment. "Well...how would you feel about coming to spend Christmas in Tennessee?" Before Justin could wait for an answer, there was a knock at the door. "Must be room service," he mumbled...getting up to go open the door.

"Must be." Nick sad quietly. He wasn't sure why Justin had asked him to come with HIM for Christmas...he wasn't sure what he should say or do. The idea was a great sounding one...but then he couldn't help but feel like he would be intruding on some privet family moment.

Justin opened the door, and the room service guy rolled a cart into the room. As the waiter set the wine bottle and fruit platter down on the coffee table, and loaded the dirty dinner dishes onto the cart, Justin went to his wallet and pulled a few bills out. "Her you go...thanks," he said as he handed the cash to the waiter. The waiter thanked Justin, then left the room with his cart.

Nick watched Justin hand the waiter the money and giggled a bit. "Maybe I should work in a hotel...those are some good tips."

Justin chuckled as he returned to his seat on the couch. "They're probably not ALL that good," he said...checking the clock to see that they still had fifteen minutes til the start of the movie.

"Okay then I'll be your own privet waiter and you can tip me that much." Nick laughed and then paused. "Okay wait that sounded wrong."

Justin widened his eyes as he laughed. "Hell yeah, it did."

Nick blushed and sifted under the blanket. "Well...I didn't mean for it to sound like that."

"I know," Justin said...leaning toward the coffee table, grabbing a green grape off the fruit platter, and popping it into his mouth.

Nick hated himself for making that comment now...not because he thought it made Justin mad...but because it was giving him mental pictures that were starting to effect the still semi hard on he had from earlier. Looking at Justin eating the grape just made things worse. Pushing the blanket off his lap he stood up. "I

I'm going to go to the bathroom before the movie starts." he said and quickly walked towards the bathroom.

Justin just nodded in response, then ate a few more grapes before sitting back on the couch and watching the previews they were showing between movies.

Once in the bathroom, Nick shut the door and leaned back against it. "Come on Nick, get it together." he said out loud to himself. Walking over to the sink he splashed cold water on his face, but that wasn't helping. The alcohol that was already in his system wasn't helping things much. Sitting down on the closed toilet seat he just sat and tried to think of disgusting thoughts. He must of

went into some sort of daze because the next time he looked at his watch it had been almost twelve minutes sense he left the sitting room.

While Nick was in the bathroom, Justin opened the new bottle of wine, and filled both glasses before putting the bottle back in the ice bucket. He sipped his wine a couple times, and watched a few more previews, before he realized how long Nick had been gone. He set his glass down on the coffee table, and went into the bedroom to the bathroom door. "Nick...?" he called with a soft knock. "Everything OK? The movie's about to start."

Nick was startled to hear Justin talking and almost jumped off of the seat. "Y...yeah i'm fine." he stammered, when in reality he felt worse then he did when he first came into the bathroom. "I...I'll be out in a second." he said going to the sink to try the water thing again.

"OK," Justin said...not worrying about why Nick was taking so long. He went over to his bag and pulled out his favorite baby blue Tennessee Titans hoodie, and pulled it on over his t-shirt as he walked back out to the couch. He dropped back into his seat, and pulled the blanket back over his lap.

A few more minutes later Nick knew there wasn't any point in staying in the bathroom any longer. If anything it was making him day dream and causing problems to become worse. Unlocking the door he walked out into the bedroom and then back out into the sitting room. Akwardly he made his way over to the couch and sat down. Pulling the blanket he was sharing with Justin back onto his lap, more for

cover then warmth...he was definitely hot enough as it was. Reaching over he grabbed the glass he assumed was his since it hadn't been drank out of he took a big gulp of it. He shivered feeling the alcohol going down his throat, but that was exactly what he needed.

Justin glanced over at Nick as he sat back down, then reached for his own glass and relaxed back against the couch. "You're right on time. It's just starting."

Nick turned to the screen and started to watch the movie, not saying anything to Justin, scared how his voice was going to sound.

Justin watched the movie for a few minutes before leaning forward to set his half-empty glass down, and put a few strawberries on a napkin. He sat back before biting into the first one.

Nick glanced at Justin as he took a bite of the strawberry. Okay fruit was a very bad idea...he had, had many dreams...pretty naughty dreams about Justin and fruit. Quickly he turned back to the TV just in time to see Johnny Depp come into the picture. "I love this guy." he finally spoke.

Justin cracked a smile and looked at Nick with a raised eyebrow. "LOVE...him?"

"As in he's a good actor...not to mention hot as hell...would have to say he's your only competition." Nick giggled.

Justin looked at the TV intently. "I'm hotter," he stated simply.

Nick laughed and looked at the TV and then Justin. "Depends on what your in the mood for...Cuz you and Johnny are total opposites...but yeah you are hotter."

Justin laughed and bit the rest of his strawberry off the stem.

Nick watched Justin eat the strawberry out of the corner of his eye and groaned. "Evil strawberry." he muttered.

Justin swallowed his mouthful of food and looked toward Nick...thinking he heard him say something. "Huh?"

"I didn't say anything." Nick lied as he turned to look at Justin again. This time trying to ignore the reddish juices from the berry on Justin's lips. God how he wanted to kiss him. Grabbing his wine glass he gulped the rest down, and poured himself another one. Before he did anything else that glass was gone too.

Justin ate his second strawberry and wiped his mouth with his napkin...watching Nick instead of the movie. He couldn't believe how much he was drinking...and how fast. "Are you trying to get loaded, or something?"

'More like trying to drink so much I pass out and forget I’m lusting over a very straight person' Nick thought to himself. "What would give you that idea?" Is what he said out loud to Justin.

"I don't know...maybe the fact that you just downed a glass and a half of wine in point-seven seconds. You're gonna get sick."

Nick knew that last statement was true...he could already feel his stomach twisting...and he could tell he was already well on his way to being shit faced. "Yeah...probably right." he said shifting in his seat.

Justin studied Nick for a bit. "What's up? Something's obviously on your mind." he said in a friendly tone.

Focusing on Justin, Nick shook his head. "Nothing...is on my mind...I’m okay." he slurred slightly, whishing at this point he could hold his liquor a lot better then he did.

Justin nodded. "OK," he said...grabbing his wine glass and turning back to the movie. He didn't really believe Nick, but he didn't want to make him uncomfortable by pressing the issue.

"Too bad we don't have rum." Nick said out of the blue as the Characters in the movie danced around singing the 'pirate' song.

"That's the last thing you need," Justin said before sipping his wine...not bothering to tell Nick that there was plenty of rum in the mini-bar.

"I want to be a pirate like Captain Jack." Nick said standing up and walking to the small kitchen. The wine was beginning to taste funny but if he was going to drown his sorrows he would need something else. Opening the mini bar he gasped and giggled. "Well...look what me found...Yo ho." he said in a pirate like voice as he pulled out the alcohol.

Justin sighed as he set his wine glass down and got up off the couch. "I really don't think you should drink that, Nick," he said calmly...walking over toward the mini-bar.

"Oh and why not?" Nick asked as he looked down at the bottles in his hand. He knew if Justin would tell him not to...he wouldn't. He trusted Justin and would do anything the man told him to do. That thought in itself was scary...but true.

Justin's eyes met Nick's as hw put his own hand on the bottles Nick was holding in his hand. "Cuz...you've already had too much wine. You'll definitely make yourself sick if you mix this shit with it."

Nick looked down at his and Justin's hands, and then back up into his eyes. "Okay." he said simply, putting the bottles on the counter.

Justin grabbed the bottles off the counter, and leaned down to put them back in the mini-bar...out of which he took a bottle of mineral water. "Drink this instead," he said...handing Nick the bottle as he closed the door to the mini bar.

Taking the bottle, Nick opened it with shaky hands and took a big drink of it. He knew he was going to reget what alcohol he did drink later on. "Thank...you." he said, his voice slurring still but his brain was a lot clearer then he cared for it to be.

Justin nodded. "No problem. Now let's go watch the movie."

Nick nodded and followed Justin back into the sitting area. Climbing back on the couch he snuggled back under the blanket and turned to watch the movie. "Don't eat anymore strawberries." he said, not looking at Justin.

After covering his legs with his half of the blanket, Justin glanced over at Nick. "What?"

Nick glanced over at Justin and sighed. "The strawberries...please don't eat them." He knew he was being childish, but he didn't need himself pouncing on Justin and screwing things even more then they were.

"Why not?" Justin asked...seriously having no clue why Nick would say something like that.

"You look really sexy when you eat them." Nick said, blushing as red as some of the strawberries.

Justin briefly thought about what Nick had said, and then suddenly burst into a fit of laughter.

Nick looked at Justin and pouted. "Hey now...it's not THAT funny."

Justin tried to reply...but he just couldn't. He was suddenly laughing so hard that tears were coming to his eyes.

Nick continued to pout for a second before he too started to laugh. He couldn't help it Justin's laugh was addicting.

Justin's laughter finally started to subside, and he took a few deep breaths as he used a hand to fan his hot face. "Oh shit...that was funny," he got out between a few lingering giggles.

Okay, now Nick really had to rethink the strawberry thing because right now Justin looked pretty sexy too. His mind straying to other reasons why Justin's face would be hot. He bit his bottom lip to hold back a groan. "It wasn't supposed to be funny." Nick giggled.

Justin nodded...his laughter subsiding more. "I know...and I'm sorry. But damn...it just made me laugh."

Nick pouted playfully. "Fine...laugh at me." he joked, happy to be joking around again too.

"I'm not laughing at YOU...just at what you said," Justin stated with another quick laugh.

"We'll it's true...those strawberries are evil...then again so were the grapes." Nick said giggling.

Justin chuckled. "I gotta admit...I've never really understood the whole fruit erotica thing."

" Don't think it's the fruit...as much as the mouth the fruit is going into." Nick pointed out, hoping he wasn't stepping any boundaries.

"Just in MY case...or in general?" Justin asked curiously.

"I've never had problems with people eating fruit before...so it must be you."

Justin tried not to take Nick's statement too seriously. "But people are always saying that fruit is sexy and all that shit," he said...trying to steer the conversation away from himself.

Nick nodded. "Sure, but I don't think that was the case here." he said, knowing he should probably drop the subject but he couldn't seem to. His mind kept playing over and over again the images of Justin eating the berry...and the juice on his lips.

Justin just nodded and reached for his wine...taking a long sip as he looked at the TV. He had no idea why, but he was so interested in everything Nick had to say about him...and about being gay. He was terrified to admit it, though...especially to himself.

Nick noticed Justin shy away and knew he shouldn't of said that. "Justin...I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying things like this."

Mista13181JT says:

Justin shook his head right away. "No..." he started...looking at Nick. "...I don't mind at all," he said...probably a bit too quickly. "I...I mean...it doesn't bother me. Really."

Nick raised an eyebrow at Justin and smirked a little but he didn't say much of anything. "Oh, okay."

Justin turned away from Nick and gulped down the rest of his wine. 'Is it getting hot in here?' he asked himself as he set his glass down and tossed the blanket off his lap.

Nick watched Justin gulp down his wine and throw off the blanket. He personally was feeling good under the blanket cuz the room was kind of chilly. That worried him a bit. "Justin...are you okay?"

Justin nodded...not looking away from the TV. Sure...he was OK...aside from the fact that he was enjoying all the homosexual conversations he was having with Nick. "I'm fine."

Nick looked at Justin closely and couldn't see anything physically wrong with him. "Okay." he said before turning back to watch the movie himself. Trying to shake off the slightly odd feeling he had.

Justin's mind was still wandering. He was so curious...filled with all kinds of questions. "So like...when you watch porn...is it GAY porn?" he asked Nick out of the blue.

Nick turned to Justin in a flash. "What?"

Justin looked at Nick. "We were talking about porn before. Since you're gay...do you watch GAY porn?"

"I have watched gay porn before." Nick said, interested to where this conversation was going. "But when we were talking about first erections and stuff before...that wasn't gay porn."

Justin nodded his understanding. "What made you...like...ya know...decide you were gay?" Justin questioned, then immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry...that's personal."

Nick shook his head and smiled. "It's alright...and you kind of start to wonder things when you are getting hard watching some hot male celebrity and now when you're watching the female ones. It really wasn't much more to it then that. Of course I tried to deny it as much as possibly for the longest time...but it got to the point where I couldn't kid myself."

"So that was it? You figured it out just from getting hot by seeing some male TV star, or something?"

Nick shrugged. "Basically...but then after that point I started to actually crush on guys in my classes at school and stuff."

"Oh. So...how old were you when you really knew for sure?"

"Probably about fifteen or so. That was when I started trying to act on it anyway."

Justin nodded slowly. 'What the hell's the matter with you, Timberlake?' he was asking himself. He couldn't figure out why he was finding this all so fascinating.

"But it wasn't until I got kicked out that I really started to live my life like a gay person ya know. Cuz at home and school I had to hide it all the time." Nick added, not minding at all that he was telling Justin these things. He trusted Justin not to make fun of him...or hurt him.

"Don't take this the wrong way...but...do you ever feel like you chose being gay over your family?"

Nick thought about what Justin said and shrugged. "I don't know...I mean It's really hard to hide the person you are...especially around people you love. So I was actually happy when my dad found out...that is until he kicked me out of the house. I honestly don't regret what happened...because if they can't accept me for who I am...then they don't love me."

Justin sighed. "Well...what happened sucks. But...if you feel OK about it...then...that's good, I guess."

Nick nodded. "Yeah...well I can't really feel bad about it...because it wouldn’t do any good...just cause me more pain then anything.

Justin nodded his agreement. "Yeah...that's true."

Nick turned so he was facing Justin rather then the movie. "Can I ask you a question?"

Justin looked at Nick and just nodded.

"I don't want to scare you ....or something but may I ask why you seem interested in this...I mean it's just weird to me that somebody is interested...especially somebody who is straight."

Justin took a deep breath, and looked down at his hands in his lap as he twiddled his thumbs absently. He really didn't know. "I really don't know."

Nick felt bad for asking right away. "But for whatever reason, I don't mind...hell there doesn't really have to be a reason at all." he rambled.

Justin shrugged...still looking down. "Maybe there isn't a reason. I don't know. I'm curious...that's for sure...but I don't really know why."

"Sometimes people are just curious about things they don't know about...like how I’m curious about what it's like to be famous...you're kind of curious what it's like to be gay?" Nick suggested, sitting Indian style facing Justin.

Justin nodded. "Yeah...maybe. But...if you're so curious about what it's like to be famous, then how come I'm the only one asking questions?"

"Because I didn't want to interrupt when you were talking...and I'm not really sure what I would ask...because quite frankly right now I don't think of you as famous."

Justin smiled at Nick. "For some reason, it makes me feel really good to hear that."

Nick smiled back. "I feel really comfortable around you...well until I'm making a total fool of myself and jerking off in front of you."

Justin couldn't help but blush at that remark. "Well...you didn't exactly do that knowingly."

"And I definitely wouldn't have...if I was awake or knew you were looking at me. That is unless you wanted to be watching." Nick said without thinking and totally regretted it once he had. "Justin...I didn't mean..."

Justin looked at Nick. "Why the hell would I have wanted to be watching?" he asked defensively.

Nick swallowed hard. "Justin...I’m sorry I didn't mean to say that...it just came out...please forgive me...you wouldn't want to watch that...of course you wouldn't.

"Why'd you even say it if you don't think so?"

"Maybe it's more that...it something I would want to do…that I never expect to get the chance. I know you wouldn't want to watch me jerk off...you're straight you don't want to see that." Nick said knowing that whatever he would say wouldn't help things.

Justin shook his head in confusion. "Did you just say you'd WANT to jerk off for me?"

Nick blushed. "No...I didn't say ...well maybe i did...I don't know." he rambled, not making much sense.

Justin took a deep breath as he reached for the remote control and turned the television off. "Maybe you should go," he said quietly as he stood up and went to get himself a bottle of water. "We're not really watching the movie, anyway...and we've already had lunch...so..."

Nick looked up at Justin and sighed. "Yeah...okay." He said sadly, he felt like somebody was sitting on his heart. He had really screwed up this time. Standing up he walked slowly to the door and grabbed his wet clothes and shoes.

"I'll talk to you later," Justin mumbled before taking his bottle of water into the bedroom and dropping onto the loveseat with a sigh.

"Yeah...later." Nick said before walking out the door, closing it behind him. He didn't even get down the hall before tears fell down his cheeks. He had no idea why he said any of that...and now everything was terrible. Once he was down in his room he threw the clothes on the floor and flopped onto the bed. "You stupid fuck." he cursed himself.

Justin took a long sip of his water, then sighed again as he draped an arm across his forehead. He felt awful for asking Nick to leave...but he really didn't know what else to do. He had a lot of things to sort through and figure out in his head, and he needed to be alone to do that. And besides, that whole jerking-off thing DID freak him out just a little.

Nick lied on his bed looking up at the ceiling, wondering what he could do to make it up to Justin. Part of him wanted to leave Boston and go home...letting Justin just forget he existed...but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get himself to go.

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Nick looked at the clock and noticed it was a little after seven and he still hadn't heard from Justin. Taking a deep breath he grabbed the phone and dialed up to Justin's room. God, he hoped he would at least say something to him.

Justin had spent a couple of hours thinking after Nick had left...and then spent the next couple of hours sleeping. When he woke up, he dropped to the floor to do some sit-ups, and that's where he was when the phone rang. He took a deep breath, then got up to go answer the phone by the bed. "Hello...?"

Nick took a deep breath when Justin answered the phone and he actually almost hung up, but he kept his cool and spoke. "Hi...I umm wanted to know since it was getting late...what we would...umm be doing for dinner." he stammered nervously.

Justin swallowed hard when he heard Nick's voice on the other end of the line. He took a second to steady his breathing...ragged from exercising...then spoke in a normal tone. He realized in his thinking that he had nothing to be mad at Nick about. "Hey. I don't know...what do you feel like doing?"

Nick let out a big sigh of relief when Justin didn't yell at him or curse or whatever. "Well, we did have a really big lunch...maybe we just order salads or sandwiches or something.”

"Sure," Justin said...still trying to get his breathing normal. "Whatever you want is fine."

Nick could hear Justin's abnormal breathing and laughed a little. "Been working off the big lunch...or well maybe doing crunches to dull the pain of something a stupid friend said?"

Justin chuckled. "Don't worry about it Nick. I'm over it," Justin said semi-honestly. He was over it in the sense that he understood why Nick said it, and he forgave him...but he wasn't over it in the sense that he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Okay...well then umm...do you want me to come up there...or you come down here or what?" Nick asked, still trying not to be nervous.

"It's up to you," Justin said...his voice a bit muffled as he managed to pull his t-shirt off while talking on the phone.

"Dressing and talking on the phone doesn't work too well...didn't your mom ever tell you that?" Nick asked, not even realizing he knew Justin so well...even if they were just now becoming to be friends. He felt like he knew Justin much better then that.

Justin laughed. "Whatever. Listen...I'ma go take a shower, then I'll come down and we can figure out what to do."

"Okay, I think I'll do the same thing...and well I'll be here when you...well get down here." Nick said, standing up to start looking through his clothes for something to put on after his shower.

"OK...bye." Justin hung up the phone, then went into the bathroom for a shower.

Nick hung up the phone and went into the bathroom for his own shower. Turning it on nice and warm he stepped in and sighed at how the warm water felt on his slightly stressed body.

Justin took a little longer than he'd planned in the shower...letting the hot water relax his tense body...and taking a little more time to think. For some reason, he felt as though he didn't really know himself all that well...and that bothered him.

Finally feeling clean and relaxed more then before, Nick got out of the shower and toweled off. After he was dressed he used some jell and spiked his hair in that kind of messy look that his brother said made him look sexy. Why he really cared right now he didn't know but he just wanted to look good. Looking at himself in the mirror he thought he looked pretty good in his warn blue jeans and dark green sweatshirt. Taking a deep breath he ran back into his room and started to clean it up a bit to make sure it was okay...for when Justin came.

Justin finally finished his shower, then dressed in some jeans and a gray Harley Davidson t-shirt. He took a quick look in the mirror...quickly running his hand over his prickly shaved head, and the slight stubble on his chin. After he put his sneakers on, he slipped his key card into his pocket, then headed down to Nick's room.

Nick flopped down on the bed for a few minutes of relaxing while he waited for Justin to come. He didn't understand why he was so nervous but he felt like he was going to throw up.

Justin walked up to Nick's door. He knocked, then shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans while he waited.

Nick got up off the bed and walked to the door. Opening it he smiled when he saw Justin there. "Hi...come in." he said backing away so Justin could come into the room.

Justin smiled a bit and walked into the room. "Thanks," he said...then took a look around. "Room's pretty nice."

Nick looked around and nodded. "Yeah, it is nice...haven't really done much in it though." he laughed. "Between losing my key and well...just hanging out in your room...not that I'm complaining or anything." he added.

Justin nodded...and took a seat in one of the chairs at the small dining table. "Did you decide on dinner?"

"I'm not really all that hungry right now...but I know I'm going to be later." Nick said as he sat down across from Justin at the table. "Just thought we could do something light"

Justin shrugged. "We could wait and eat later."

Nick nodded. "That sounds good...umm does that mean you're going to...well leave?" he asked looking at Justin, hoping he wouldn't go.

Justin shrugged again...looking at Nick. "If you want me to."

Nick shook his head like crazy. "I don't want you to...I mean I would like you to stay...if you want to." he said, trying not to think about how he felt their relationship had made a total circle and they were back at the beginning again.

"Sure. Whadda ya wanna do?" Justin asked...trying to act normal even though his thoughts were nearly drowning him.

"Well...watching a movie got us in trouble...so maybe we could umm..." Nick paused to look around the room, that until that point he didn't really notice how boring it was. "Does this hotel have like a basketball court or anything?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah...but I'd have to take security with me, and honestly...I don't want that right now. I'd rather just be alone."

Nick nodded and got a look of concentration on his face. "Okay...umm...gosh."

"Actually...I'd like to talk...if that's OK..."

That thought scared Nick a bit but it also made him happy. "Sure, we can talk."

Justin took a deep breath...and he looked down at the table as he started toying with the room service menu that was propped up on it. "I'm sorry about before...the way I acted...and for pretty much kicking you out."

Nick smiled a little and shook his head. "It's alright Justin...I made you feel uncomfortable by what I said...it was a normal reaction...quite frankly I’m used to it." Sure that didn't make what Justin did hurt him any less...but he understood why.

Justin took another deep breath...still not letting his eyes meet Nick's. The reason why I reacted like I did...it was...I think I reacted that way cuz...I don't know...cuz I've been having these weird thoughts lately...about myself."

Nick's heart began to speed up at what Justin said, and not because that could possibly mean that he had an once of a chance with him...but because he felt for his friend. "Okay...do you want to talk about it...I mean you don't have to if you don't want to but maybe I can help...you never know."

Justin shrugged. "I don't think you can help...cuz I really don't know what's going on with me. I don't even really know what the thoughts are...or what they mean." He paused to clear his throat, then went on. "I don't know. I'm just really...curious...about you...and what it's like to be gay...and how you feel about me. And I...I don't know why I wanna know so much."

Nick nodded. "It's okay...you don't have to know everything, Justin...and sometimes the most confusing thing to figure out is yourself.”

Justin chuckled. "Yeah...I'm beginning to think so."

"Plus...just because your interested in me...as in what my life is like and how i feel about you...doesn't cause for alarm in think you might be bi or gay or whatever." Nick said quietly...and kindly.

Justin nodded. "Yeah...I know." He paused to chuckle, then finally looked at Nick. "Or...I could just wanna hear all this stuff you like about me to boost my ego."

Nick giggled and nodded. "Yeah...that could be the case...ya never know."

Justin chuckled again. "Nah...honestly...I don't like talking about myself usually...and I like

"But you like me talking about it and you like hearing?" Nick asked, curious.

Justin nodded. "Cuz it's different when I'm talking to you. It's not like I'm answering questions for an interview...or watching 'Me TV' on Access Hollywood."

Nick made a face at that idea. "God, I would hate to look on a TV screen and see myself...not to mention reading shit people say about me." Nick giggled. "I don't read that news stuff about you much...I have more fun reading the stuff people make up...because I know it's not true...and won't hurt you because of it."

Justin looked at Nick curiously. "What kinda stuff do you read?"

Nick shrugged. "All sorts of stuff...I mean fanfiction stuff." Not sure if he should bring up the slash part

Justin nodded slowly. "I've heard some stuff about fanfiction. What kind of stories do you read...about me?"

Nick nodded. "Yeah about you...and sometimes other people...but mainly you or NSYNC."

"What are the stories like?"

Nick thought about that for a second. "Well...Uhh...think about what kind of stuff I would like to read." he said making Justin think of whatever he needed to think.

Justin shrugged. "I don't know," he said with a chuckle. "Gay stuff...?" he teased.

"It's calls slash when it's with fanfiction...but yeah." Nick admitted, hoping what he said wouldn't have the same affect as earlier.

Justin widened his eyes a bit. "Hold on. Are you saying that there are gay stories about me out there?"

Nick had to laugh at that. "Yeah...there are stories out there about you being gay."

"For real? Gay with...who?"

"A lot of people...mostly guys from NSYNC...or other groups like 98 degrees and stuff." Nick answered, hoping to god Justin didn't flip

Justin made a face. "98 Degrees...? That's disgusting!"

Nick laughed. "Yeah...I know...I don't like those stories too much...I mostly the other NSYNC ones."

Justin made the same face again. "I don't know...I can't picture that either."

Nick smiled. "I know it would be hard to read if you were in the middle of it...but I guess for me reading that stuff is like a way to escape from the real world for a while."

Justin shrugged. "Yeah...maybe."

"Does it just bug you that there is gay stories about you with your old band-mates...or that there are stories like that in general?" Nick thought he would ask, wanting to figure out what Justin thought of everything.

Justin shook his head. "No...not really. It's just fiction." He took a deep breath. "I'd probably rather read shit like that than some of the shit magazines print about me."

"That's exactly my view on the whole thing...but I will admit I like knowing you...better then reading stories that people make up." Nick said smiling.

Justin chuckled. "Even though I'm gay in the stories, and not in real life...?"

Nick smiled more and nodded. "I would rather have you being who you are...then something you aren't."

"Thanks. I wish more people thought that way."

"I'm still sorry for what I said earlier though." Nick said softly...feeling he should apologize too.

Justin nodded. "It's OK...I know you didn't mean it...I think."

"I didn't mean to say it out loud...and make you feel uncomfortable." Nick said, not denying the fact that he meant what he said...but just how he said and when he did.

"Yeah...I know. Don't worry about it...really."

Nick nodded and sighed. "I was scared I wasn't going to see you again....I almost left." He wasn't sure why he was telling Justin this...but he felt he should sort of show that it hurt him...what happened...because Justin was his friend he should understand somewhat...right?

Justin looked at Nick with semi-wide eyes. "God, Nick...I'm glad you didn't leave. I would have felt like shit. Besides...I didn't ask you to leave cuz I didn't want you around. I asked you to leave just cuz I needed a little time alone...to think."

Nick nodded. "I know...that's why I didn't go...I knew you didn't mean to hurt me or anything...It was just my first reaction you know...thinking that maybe if I left and then you could forget about me...what I said...forget the odd feelings you're having about whatever it is...then maybe you will be happier."

"I don't wanna forget about you. You're my friend." Justin paused and laughed a bit. "Even if you ARE the one making me have all these weird feelings about myself."

Nick giggled a little. "I never thought I have the power to make people think weird thinks about themselves...that definitely wasn't my plan."

"It wasn't MY plan either."

"Do you reset having me come here...because of that?" Nick has to ask...he needed to know.

Justin shook his head. "No...of course not. I mean...especially after today. I had so much fun in the park, Nick...even though we were only there for a little while. Do you know that that was the first time I EVER played in the snow...?"

Nick's eyes went wide and he giggled a bit. "Whoa...that is like crazy sounding to me...I felt like I could of taken a bobsled to school in the winter time as a kid."

Justin shrugged. "I've been around snow a lot since I've been traveling...but I never had time for fun in it."

Nick smiled. "I'm glad you had fun...even if I think you're poor body didn't like it too well."

Justin smiled. "Well...I'm not sneezing yet."

"You're lips were blue though." Nick said, not thinking about how he was mentioning that he was watching Justin's lips.

Justin chuckled. "I'm not surprised. My teeth were chattering, and I felt like my nose was gonna fall off."

"Think of doing that for almost three hours straight...at night." Nick said, shivering at the though, and sneezing for good measure.

Justin nodded...remembering Nick telling him that he didn't have any heat.

Something popped into Nick's head that he had totally forgotten about until now. "Uhh, Justin back before we kinda got into a problem...you mentioned something about me and Christmas time."

Justin nodded again. "Yeah...right."

"Did you mean what you said?"

"About you coming to Tennessee? Sure."

Nick looked down at his lap. "I would like to...it sounds nice...I just don't want to intrude on anything."

"You won't be intruding. I wouldn't have invited you if that would be the case."

Nick's eyes looked up at Justin and he smiled a little. "What are your parents going to think of you bringing at guy home for Christmas." he joked.

"Why should they think anything? I have my friends at their place all the time."

"It was a joke...I didn't mean anything by it." Nick said, wondering if he should feel like he was walking on egg shells around Justin now.

Justin took a long, deep breath. "Look, Nick...you don't have to defend everything you say now...cuz of what happened before."

Nick looked up at Justin and sighed himself. "I'm sorry...I do that a lot...I have a really hard time with always thinking I'm saying things wrong. I had to be really careful with what I said with well...the life I was living before I cleaned my act up."

Justin nodded. "I'm sure you did. But...you don't have to be like that with me. I'm just as playful and sarcastic as they next guy. Sensitive about some things, maybe...but I can still take a joke. And like you already found out, I'll let you know if you say something I don't like."

Nick giggled and made a face. "That is very true." he giggled then to show he was joking. "I know...I will work on understanding what you really mean when you say things...the more I get to know you...I'm just too use to be on the defense. It used to mean my ass if I didn't watch it."

Justin chuckled. "Well...that's not the case anymore."

Nick thought for a second, thinking he needed to tell Justin something...since it was kind of, talk about stuff hour. "Justin...can I tell you something?"

Justin sat back in his chair and looked at Nick. "Sure."

Nick tried to think about how he was going to say what he felt like he needed to say. He had never been able to tell anybody this...but now he felt like he could. "I haven't told anybody this...so I'm not really sure how...so you're going to have to bare with me."

Justin narrowed his eyes a bit as he leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table. "OK..." he encourages...not taking his eyes off Nick.

Nick took a deep breath. "You know how I told you that after I came out...I started to get into bad stuff...you know going to clubs and stuff like that."

Justin just nodded...listening closely.

"Well...I like you know did the whole sleeping around thing for a while...doing some pretty nasty stuff in public places." Nick stopped and made a face at the thought. "Anyway...I was at this one gay club back home...it was like my nightly hang out and I met this one guy...his name was William and he took me home and all that was good...but what was different is that I continued to see him...and well he kinda became my boyfriend in a way...at least in the physical sense."

Justin just nodded again...not wanting to cut Nick off.

"Well...to make a long story short...things didn't really stay too great between us...things kinda got violent and it got to the point where he would lock me in his house during the day and not let me go any place. Then he would come home at night and do whatever he wanted to me. He would say that it was the least I could do because he was letting me stay in his big huge house...that it was kind of my way of paying him." Nick stopped and sniffled, his hand shaking a little as he replayed the memories in his head.

Justin swallowed hard. "You mean...he raped you?" he asked in a near whisper.

Nick nodded a little. "Not at first...cuz I mean I did go to his house for that reason...Just then it got really rough...and then I tried to get him to stop and he didn't...but the part that really wasn't good was when he would lock me in." He sighed. "That’s what I meant when I said earlier that freedom is one of the worst things a person can have taken away from them."

Justin nodded...breathing deeply. "Yeah. I mean I may not have freedom, in a sense...but I've never locked up anywhere. Not literally, anyway."

Nicks smiled a bit, to lighten the mood. "Yeah...well I don't recommend being locked up...unless it's supposed to be kinky." he said once again going into goofy Nick mood.

"I think kinky would be TIED up...not LOCKED up."

"Not if you're using handcuffs." Nick pointed out with a smirk.

Justin chuckled. "True."

"Even though I wouldn't really recommend that either...cuz you can't feel your arms for hours after that." Nick said making a face obviously remembering something.

Justin sighed. "I'm so sorry, Nick."

"You shouldn't be sorry...nothing is your fault...I was just telling you because I wanted to tell somebody...and in a way I kind of wanted you to know even though I seem to be a walking sex freak or something...that I really have issues with it." He really didn't get why he was telling Justin this stuff...but he really was glad he was.

"So...do you not like sex anymore?"

Nick shook his head. "I haven't since I was 18." he mumbled, blushing a little. "But not really because of that...I just didn't want to do the casual thing anymore...I want the next person to be with somebody who I care for...and who cares for me."

"You haven't had sex since you were 18?"

Nick laughed. "Nope...which probably explains why I'm so weird."

Justin laughed. "Not necessarily. It just seems strange...cuz I didn't even have sex for the first time till I was twenty."

Nick smiled. "Nothing is wrong with that...I'm backwards I think." He laughed. "I mean I used to freak around before I could even vote...and now...can you remind me what sex is?"

Justin laughed. "Not GOOD sex...cuz I don't think I've ever had THAT." He stopped to think, then chuckled with a nod. "Well...maybe I DID...but only with one person."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Oh...do tell." he laughed. "Okay now I feel like a preteen girl at a slumber party...but I don't care...do tell."

Justin laughed out loud. "Christina," he said...shaking his head slowly. "Damn...girl's a vixen."

Nick busted up laughing. "She looks like she would be...hell I don't normally even look at girls much anymore but I can tell you if all girls looked like her and acted like her I would seriously consider changing my status to Bi instead of full out gay."

Justin chuckled at that. "She's good...REAL good."

"I will have to take your word for it...I can't say I have ever really enjoyed sex with women...I can't say I hate it...but it's not my cup of tea."

Justin laughed quietly...then asked a question that he couldn't help asking. "What's it like...sex with guys?"

Nick tried to think of a way to explain it that would make sense. "I guess with guys it's kind of more lust driven and stuff...I'm not saying guys don't make love...but it's a known fact guys are hornier then girls...most of the time anyway. So it's normally more harsh and stuff. Also in a way I think it helps that a guy knows what a guy likes...I mean if you do something to a guy that you know you like yourself...you've got a like at least 98 percent chance that he's going to like it too."

Justin nodded slowly. "That makes sense."

Nick giggled a bit. "I'm sure it doesn't really make that much sense...cuz I wasn't really sure how to answer the question."

Justin shook his head. "No...it DOES make sense. I mean...like you said...a guy has to know how to please a guy...right?"

"Seems common logic to me...so then why God didn't make it normal for guys to be with guys and girls with girls...I don't know." He joked.

Justin chuckled. "Good point. Guess it has something to do with the whole opposites attract thing."

"True and populating the world...I don't think I want to picture guys walking around pregnant." Nick mock shivered at the thought.

Justin made a disgusted face at that thought.

"Even though I have read stories about that...but we won't go there." Nick laughed, happy to be laughing and goofing around with Justin again.

Justin shook his head quickly. "No...let's not."

Nick looked down at his lap for a second and then back up at Justin. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about? I mean I can uhh...try to help you if there are things you need to get off your chest...you know the stuff you said you were thinkin about."

Justin bit on his lower lip as he shook his head. "No thanks...not right now, anyway. I still need to sort through some of it myself."

Smiling, Nick nodded. "I understand...so what are we gunna do now?" he asked looking around his hotel room.

Justin looked around as well. "I don't know," he said with a shrug.

Nick looked at the window and sighed. "Stupid weather...I think we should both escape and go to figi or something."

Justin turned his gaze to the snow outside. "Yeah...maybe after my club tour ends..." he said absently.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Nick said, not really paying attention to what either Justin said or what he had said back. Turning back to Justin he smiled. "Umm play a game?" he suggested even though he had no idea what they were going to play

"But not Fiji..." Justin went on distractedly...still looking out the window. "...Turks and Caicos. That place is the best."

Nick looked at Justin strange. "I have never heard of either of those places."

Justin chuckled...finally looking away from the window and at Nick. "It's one place, really...Turks and Caicos. A little group of islands in the West Indes...the Caribbean."

Nick got a dreamy smile on his face. "That sounds nice...really nice."

Justin nodded. "It's beautiful. I went there a couple years ago for a couple weeks. That was the last REAL vacation I had."

"I've never really gone on a vacation before. My dad worked all the time and never took time off for family vacations or stuff...So I never really did." Nick said, his voice sounding sad.

"Well...let's see. Now you've been on a nice weekend getaway to Boston...you're gonna come on a holiday trip to Memphis...and then we'll do an exotic adventure in the Caribbean," Justin said with a chuckle.

"Will Johnny Depp be there?" Nick asked, teasingly. Not making a big deal about the idea that Justin was talking about going on vacation with him. He thought he would try a different tactic and not freak out about everything.

Justin cocked an eyebrow. "Hell no."

Nick put on a fake pout. "Then I don't wana go...not sexy guys will be there." he continued to tease.

Justin dramatically placed his right hand over his heart and leaned back in his chair. "Ouch."

Nick giggled and smiled big. "You know I still love you."

Justin chuckled. "Of course you do," he teased. "What's not to love?"

Nick made a point to look Justin up and down, in a joking way. His finger to his mouth as if he was thinking really hart. "Gosh...I don't know."

Justin laughed...blushing just a bit. "Forget it. Don't answer that."

Nick giggled and then laughed a little more. "Yeah...that's a probably wise thing to say, Mr. Timberlake."

Justin chuckled and shook his head...then spoke when he suddenly had an idea. "Hey...I just thought of something we can do."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"Be right back," Justin said...then got up from the table and headed out the door.

Nick laughed as he watched Justin walk out the door. "Okay...I'll stay right here." he said to himself.

Justin came back a few minutes later and knocked on Nick's door.

"You just left a second ago Justin...so just come on in." Nick called as he continued to sit at the table.

"It's locked, you moron."

Nick jumped out of the chair and ran to the door. Opening it, his cheeks bright red. "Sorry, bout that."

Justin laughed and shook his head as he walked past Nick into the room...and went back to the table. He set his laptop down as he took his seat.

"What are we going to do with your computer?" Nick asked as he followed Justin back to the table.

Justin quietly flipped the computer open and booted it up...then pushed it over toward Nick. "Show me some of those...stories...you read."

Nick's eyes went wide as he pulled a chair around so he was sitting next to Justin. "Which ones?" he asked playing dumb.

"The ones you were telling me about."

"The slash ones?" Nick asked, making sure he wasn't jumping to conclusions.

Justin glanced at Nick as he rested his arms on the table. "Those are the gay ones?"

Nick bit his bottom lip and nodded. "Yeah...those are the gay ones."

Justin just nodded and looked at the screen while he waited for Nick to find the stories.

Nick got into Yahoo and signed himself in. Then he went to the groups section and started to scroll down his huge list of groups. trying to find the perfect one.

"What are these?" Justin asked...looking at the list of groups.

"They are fanfiction groups...different yahoo members make them and then different people can join and read each others stories." Nick explained as he clicked on one called 'I_Love_NSYNC_Slash'...thinking he would be able to find something to show Justin in there.

"This is crazy," Justin said quietly...his eyes glued to the screen as Nick did his thing.

Nick turned to look at Justin. "We don't have to do this you know."

Justin looked at Nick...his eyes somewhat wide. "No...I want to...I wanna see this shit," he said...then went back to staring at the screen...resting his chin in his hand.

Nick scrolled through the stories trying to find something that would be good. "If you had to choose a member of NSYNC for you to be with...in a story who would it be?" he asked, wanting Justin to be as comfortable as possibly and he didn't want to pick something that would make him die.

Justin made a bit of a face. "I don't wanna pick any...so you pick. Surprise me."

Nick saw at Justin/JC story he hadn't read before and thought maybe they could read a new one together...that way he wouldn't be able to say that he thought it was good and loved it...and then have Justin totally hate it. "Okay let's read this...I don't even know what it is."

"Who writes this stuff?"

"This one is written by some person named Angeljams...No idea who that is...and all sorts of people write this stuff." Nick said as he scrolled down to read the summery of the story. "Justin and JC spend a quiet weekend together skiing in Vermont." He made a face. "That's a pretty sad summary but okay...let's go for it."

"Quiet weekend?" Justin questioned under his breath...continuing to watch the screen.

Nick laughed and shrugged. "As I said I've never read this before." He scrolled down a bit and started to read the story. So far all that it was about was them arriving at this cabin at this ski resort and how they were so happy they finally got time alone.

Justin took a deep breath after reading the first few paragraphs. "Oh jeez...can't wait to see what happens next," he said quietly in a sarcastic tone.

Nick turned and glared at Justin before turning back to read the story. The next few paragraphs were about them settling in and talking about hitting the slops first thing in the morning if it didn't start snowing too badly. Nick got a little nervous when JC suggested getting in their pajama's and starting a fire. Stories with JC and Justin and a fire only led to one thing.

Justin shook his head slowly...his head still resting in his hand as he leaned toward the screen to read. Justin had a feeling he knew what was coming. "Don't even tell me..."

Nick turned to Justin. "You wana stop reading this...we can find something else...that doesn't have an NC-17 rating."

"NC-17? They have full out sex scenes in these things?"

Blushing a little, Nick nodded. "You would be surprised at the stuff you will read."

Justin turned his head a bit to look at Nick, and raised one of his eyebrows. "How bad?"

"You could be watching a full blown porno if it was on TV." Nick said, thinking if that was the best way to explain it.

Justin just shook his head and looked back at the computer screen...as if waiting for Nick to scroll down.

Nick scrolled the screen down and groaned when it skipped time and the guys were now sitting around the fire eating strawberries and drinking wine. "Told you strawberries were evil." Nick tried to joke.

"Damn," was all Justin said as he continued reading.

Nick had to bit his bottom lip as things started to get intense on the screen. JC and Justin were full blown making out by now, the strawberries and wine long forgotten.

Justin swallowed hard. He couldn't believe what he was reading. "It goes further than THIS?"

Nick couldn't help but bust up laughing. "Justin...have you ever seen a porno where the guy and girl still had their clothes on through out the whole thing?"

"You mean...we...they...are gonna have sex?"

"Yeah...they are going to have sex...like I said before we don't have to do this." Nick said honestly. He didn't want Justin doing anything that was going to make him uncomfortable.

Justin shrugged. "Let's keep reading."

Nick was glad this story was pretty short...but he should of noticed if it was so short then it must be a visual story. He slightly cursed himself for not noticing that but he scrolled down so they could keep reading. Now both men had gotten each other's shirts off and JC was busy kissing all over Justin's chest, nipping and biting his nipples. Story Justin was really enjoying the whole thing because it kept explaining how hard he was getting by the attention.

Justin suddenly felt his heart beating a little faster, and his cheeks heating up a bit. He took a deep breath, and looked away from the screen as he sat back in his chair. "I don't wanna read anymore," he said quietly.

Nick turned to look at Justin and nodded. "Okay, we don't have to." He clicked the minimize button on the story and sank back in his own chair. "You okay?" he asked looking over at Justin. He couldn't even imagine what Justin must be feeling like, he was probably so grossed out.

Justin nodded. "Yeah...just...it was more than I thought it'd be. It's so...I don't know...detailed."

"I think that was my fault...I chose a bad story...they aren't all like that...I personally don't like visuals. I like the stories that have more substance to them...that are normally chapters long that talk about the relationship more then just. Hey look at us we're having sex."

Justin shrugged. "It's not your fault. I told you to pick something...and you did."

"Well...there goes our idea of what to do." Nick said stretching his whole body out like a cat.

"I can't believe that stuff's really out there," Justin said a bit distantly. He wouldn't admit it, but he couldn't believe his reaction to it, either.

"There are a lot of strange things online, Justin." Nick pointed out, even though he knew fanfiction wasn't really a strange thing...it was a very popular thing.

Justin nodded. "Yeah. I know."

Just then Nick got an instant message on Yahoo from one of his friends. It read. "Hey Nick, been shocked not to see you on the last few days, or talking in the groups." Nick looked at Justin and then typed back. "Yeah, I'm sorry I've been on vacation in Boston and haven't been around a computer until now."

"What are you doing?"

Nick looked over at Justin and smiled. "I'm not going to say anything...he doesn't really know my life so for all he knows is i have family that lives here." he explained as the messenger dinged saying his friend had said something. "You're in Boston? OMG...did you know that you're in the same town as Justin is!" Nick turned back to Justin and bit his bottom lip. "Okay so that wasn't a good idea.”

Justin squinted his eyes and leaned closer to the computer. "Why...what'd he say?"

Nick pointed at the computer for Justin to read. Looking at Justin out of the corner of his eye.

Justin chuckled quietly. "Oh jeez."

"You know how you said there are freaky stalkerish fans...well this is one of them. He would probably steel my clothes if he knew that you were within like thirty feet of me." Nick laughed as he said goodbye to the guy, not really wanting to talk to him. Why did he need to talk about what Justin had been doing when he had Justin sitting right next to him.

Justin laughed. "Bet he'd rather have MY clothes."

"Well yeah but I don't see that happening...unless you are making it your new thing to do and pick up strange fans and take them on all expense paid vacations." Nick giggled, thinking he would check his e-mail really quick while he was in front of a computer.

Justin shook his head. "No way," he said...leaning back in his chair and folding his hands over his stomach.

Nick scanned the e-mails and smiled big when he saw there was an update to his favorite story. He couldn't help but click the link and go to the site. Finding the new chapter he read the first few sentences and smiled.

Justin noticed the look on Nick's face. "What's got you smilin?" he asked...not moving in his seat.

"One of my favorite stories was updated, and this chapter looks cute." Nick said as he read a few more lines, not really wanting to be reading this in front of Justin but he got hooked instantly.

"What's it about?" Justin questioned...absently lifting a hand off his stomach to twist one of his diamond stud earrings.

"It's about you and this guy Michael. You meet Michael on the subway in New York when it gets stuck and you guys become friends. Then it takes about fifteen chapters or so but you both begin to have feelings for each other and start to date. Now I’m like on chapter fifty something and it's really cute." Nick giggled as he read about Justin and Michael goofing around in the house they share...being frisky and sexual in a cute way that wasn't overbearing like the other story.

"Oh," Justin said...suddenly feeling really awkward. Not about Nick...or the story he was reading. But about himself...and the way that all of it was making his skin heat up and his stomach turn. He took a deep breath as he got up out of his seat. "I...umm...have a couple things to take care of. So...take your time with the computer...and when you're done..." he went on...heading for the door. "...just come up to my room...and we'll decide about dinner."

Nick shook his head and automatically shut off the net and shut off the computer. "I can read that story when I get home...I'm not going to spend my vacation doing what I can do at home." he stated, putting the computer in its case and following Justin to the door.

Justin held out a hand to stop Nick. "No...really...I need a minute," he said...then walked out of the room.

Nick stopped in his tracks and watched Justin walk away. This was getting really weird. Sighing, Nick went and sat down on his bed and turned on the TV. Once again he wondered what he had said wrong or done to make Justin act stand offish.

Justin bypassed the elevator and headed for the stairwell. He ran up the three flights of stairs to his floor...taking the steps two and three at a time. He jogged down the hall to his suite, went inside, and went across the sitting room to the glass doors. He threw the doors open and walked out onto the balcony...taking in a huge gulp of air right away.

Nick flipped through channels for a while but there wasn't anything good on TV. Laying back on the bed he looked up at the ceiling and went over all that had happened in the last week. He couldn't think of a time he had, had more fun, but yet everything was so weird at the same time. Sighing he hoped Justin wouldn't take too long because he felt weird alone in the quiet hotel room.

Justin had to take in several deep breaths of cold winter air before he finally started to cool off and calm down. He leaned against the balcony railing...gripping it with both hands...hardly feeling the frigid air and sweeping snow on the bare arms extending from his t-shirt sleeves.

Nick found himself drifting off to sleep as he lied in his bed. A dream of the first night they met came and he smiled a little as he slept. That was a night he knew he wasn't ever going to forget. Then images of running through the snow the night before came, until he was up what had just happened a little bit before. Quickly he woke up, not sure what startled him. Looking at the clock he noticed he had only been asleep for like twenty-five minutes.

Justin stood in the same spot on the snowy balcony for nearly a half hour before his thoughts abandoned him, and the reality of the freezing air and snow hit him. He shook his head a few times as his teeth started shivering...and he hugged himself as he headed back into the suite and closed the door.

It had been almost thirty-five minutes and Nick was getting worried about Justin. Taking a deep breath he got off the bed and grabbed his key. Walking out the door he made his way to the elevator and up to Justin's floor. He knew he could be making a big mistake about going there when Justin said he wanted to be alone...but he was worried. Taking one more deep breath he knocked on the door.

Justin headed for the door when he heard a knock...and was still trying to warm himself when he opened it.

"I know you wanted to be alone...and I know I shouldn't of come...but I was worried about you." Nick rambled and then really looked at Justin. "Christ...you're a fucking ice cube!"

Justin shrugged. "I was outside...I needed air."

"Yeah well you didn't need to get frost bite on top of that...and you could of put a sweater on or something." Nick exclaimed, just worried that Justin had gotten himself too cold.

Justin shook his head. "Nah...I wasn't thinking...I just needed air right away."

Nick looked at Justin for a second and turned back around. "Well...I'll go back to my room now." he said, still feeling like he shouldn't have come.

"Nick...wait," Justin called quickly...wanting to stop Nick from leaving.

Nick stopped and turned back. "Yeah?"

Justin took a deep breath as he looked at Nick...and when his teeth finally stopped chattering, he blurted out, "How do you know if you're not straight?"

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Nick looked at Justin with wide eyes, and he felt like his throat was in his chest. Did Justin really just say that? "I guess when you start having some feelings for guys." He responded, wishing he could think of a better answer but he couldn't. He never thought he would hear those words or anything along those lines come out of Justin's mouth.

Justin took a deep breath that came out as a sigh...and his teeth chattered with another shiver. He turned away from Nick, and went over to the window to look outside. He couldn't believe he'd just said that. What the hell was he thinking?

Nick looked around the hallway for a second before following Justin into the room. Taking a deep breath he walked over to the window. After hesitating for a second Nick put a hand on Justin's shoulder. "It's okay." he whispered, not really all that sure what he was saying was okay.

Justin quickly shook his head...fighting off the tears that were stinging the backs of his eyelids. "No. No...it isn't. It's fucked up. THAT'S what it is."

Nick took another deep breath and grabbed Justin's other shoulder to make him turn around and face him. "I know it's scaring you to death, Justin...but I'm really not sure if fucked up is the right words. Now...why don't you go take a shower and get warm again, you're freezing...and maybe that will help you relax." he said sternly, but kindly at the same time.

Justin just nodded and walked away from Nick toward the bedroom. It was a good idea...moreso to get some more time to think than anything. He was sort of out of it as he made his way through the bedroom and to the bathroom...where he turned on the faucet of the jaccuzi tub, and sat on the tub's edge while he waited for it to fill up.

Nick followed Justin, just to the bedroom door, looking in just to make sure Justin had gotten there okay. He was really worried for Justin. He didn't think Justin would do anything stupid...but he was scared anyway. Sighing when he saw that Justin was okay he walked back out into the sitting area and flopped onto the couch. Looking up at the ceiling he too started to think about what just happened.

Justin stared at the rising water in the tub for a while before he finally got up and stripped off his clothes. Nick was right...he was freezing. Under his jeans and t-shirt, his skin was red with chill. Justin shut off the water, then...after adding some soap and turning on the jets...he sank his body into the much-needed hot water with a long sigh.

Aftter lying on the couch for a few minutes, Nick's mind was still reeling. He didn't know if Justin blamed him for all the thoughts going throug his head. Then again he didn't know if this was the first time that Justin had, had these thoughts. The more he thought about it though, the more frustrated he got.

'What the hell's going on with you, Timberlake?' Justin's brain asked him as he started to warm up and relax a bit in the tub. He didn't know. He had no idea what was going on in his head. He knew he wasn't gay. THAT was for sure. Especially after sleeping with Christina for two months. And he didn't really have feelings for any guy. So...then what on earth was making him feel this way?

Turning on his side and rolling into a ball, Nick closed his eyes to try and stop the

thoughts. He knew he shouldn't blame himself...but he couldn't help it. He knew he would never be able to forgive himself if he caused Justin pain. Closing his eyes tighter he tried to fight back the tears. He had to be the strong one...Had to be he one that Justin could talk to if he needed.

Justin's mind back-tracked to the past couple days...and the conversations he'd had with Nick. He couldn't understand for the life of him why all of Nick's stories about being gay and liking guys were so intriguing to him. Why was he so interested in it? And why did he feel the brink of an erection coming on when he was reading that fanfic with Nick earlier? It had nothing to do with JC...THAT was certain.

Nick sat up, he couldn't lie around anymore. Getting up he walked into the bedroom and knocked on the bathroom door. "Justin..." he paushed because he really didn't know what he was going to say.

Justin shook his head a bit as he was torn from his thoughts. "Yeah...?"

"I...umm am going to go to the gift shop or something...be back in a few minutes." Nick said, still not making any move to leave his spot in front of the bathroom door.

"OK..." was Justin's only response...and he closed his eyes as he sunk a bit deeper into the bubbling water, and rested his head against the edge of the tub.

"Bye." Nick said as he backed away from the door and walked out of the room. Taking one more look around the room he walked out and went to the elevator. Taking it to the first floor he got off at the lobby and walked across it to the rather large gift shop. Walking to a post card rack he started to look through them, when his thoughts came back. 'You flirting with him and saying stupid shit is making him think things that aren’t true...you ruined everything.' his mind screamed at him.

When Justin felt his skin starting to wrinkle, he finished his soak in the tub, and dressed in some sweats and a t-shirt. He then grabbed his favorite pillow, and went out to the parlor...where he dropped onto the couch and curled up into an almost-fetal position.

After being down in the gift shop for almost an hour Nick felt like he should go back upstairs. Buying a few postcards that he thought he should bring back for Aaron and maybe a few friends he had at Starbucks he walked out of the shop and made his way upstairs.

Justin remained on the couch...once again...deep in thought. He was realizing a lot of things about himself...or so he thought. Maybe he wouldn't figure things out until he talked to someone.

Once he got to Justin's door, Nick knocked softly. Shoving his hands deep in his pockets he waited for Justin to open the door.

Justin sighed quietly as he dragged himself off the couch and to the door. He pulled it open, and gave Nick a small smile before turning to re-assume his position on the couch.

Nick shut the door and followed Justin back to the sitting area. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, worried for his friend.

"Sure. Other than the fact that I'm completely fucked up right now."

Nick sat down on the floor right by Justin's face and looked up at his confused friend's face. "Would you like to talk about it? If not I understand...I'm just asking, just in case you do." he said quietly.

Justin shrugged...staring straight ahead instead of looking at Nick...almost as if he was in a daze. "I don't know. I mean...I suppose talking would be good...but...I don't even know what I'd talk about."

"Just tell me what you're feeling." Nick said, and the laughed a little. "Okay I sound like a shrink."

Justin took a long, deep breath. "I don't know. Maybe it doesn't make sense, but I just don't know what I'm feeling."

Nick smiled slightly. "That makes more sense then you know. You're confused and because of that it's even making your own thoughts confusing."

"But...what am I confused about?"

"This might be totally off...so don't kill me if I am...But if I'm remembering things right...You start acting different whenever I say or describe sex with a guy and you in the same sentence. For example when I said the jerking off thing and having you watch...that freaked you out...and then with the fanfiction stuff...you read about you and JC and that scared you too. At first I was thinking

you thought it was disgusting...but what I think the problem is you don't really find it as disgusting as you wish you did?" Nick asked, praying to God he wasn't going too far with this.

Justin rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. After remaining quiet for a moment, he quietly said, "I think you might be right."

"You know guys can get turned on by stuff like that without being gay...or even Bi...I think it just means your human." Nick said smiling, trying to comfort Justin as much as he could.

"No it doesn't. Straight guys don't get feelings like this."

Nick bit his bottom lip. "Well...I don't know what it's like to be a straight guy...so can't blame me for trying." he smiled.

Justin sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. I should just shut up."

"You should do nothing of the sort...I want you to talk to me. You need to talk I know that and i'm not moving from this spot until you do." Nick said fermly, wiggling around on the floor as if he was making himself a spot to sit on for a good long time.

Justin lay quietly for a bit, then came out with. "I'm NOT gay...I KNOW that."

Nick nodded. "Okay, you're not gay...we've got that one established."

"I KNOW I'm not," Justin siad again for extra affirmation. And it was true. He definitely wasn't gay. He enjoyed women very much. Well...the ones that didn't fuck him over.

Nick nodded again. "I believed you the first time you said it." he said looking at Justin, happy that he was talking...hell he would even be happy if Justin started yelling at him...at least then he would be getting all that stuff off his chest.

"Sex is good..." Justin mumbled a bit pointlessly. "Sex with women...very good..."

Nick giggled softly. "It ain't bad." He wanted to just keep talking causaly so Justin would keep talking.

"So if I like THAT..." Justin started...his eyes still focused on the ceiling. He rested his right arm on his pillow above his head, and his left hand crept up under the hem of his shirt to scratch his stomach. "...then why am I so curious about this gay shit?"

"Everybody is curious about things they don't know...it's a fact of life." Nick pointed out. "You haven't really had anybody to talk to about this with before. So I come along and you asked me a question...finding out I actually would answer it for you...so that just makes you wonder if you can ask me other things." He explained, mostly trying to make everything not sound as nasty and crazy as it was as he watched Justin closely to see if what he was telling the other man was true. Was he just curious or was there something else to the way Justin was acting?

Justin finished scratching his stomach, and left his hand resting under his slightly pushed-up t-shirt. "Why did I get like...red in the face...when we were reading that story?"

Nick thought of a way to try and tell Justin this without him freaking out. "Because the idea of anybody doing something to somebody who is supposed to be you made you hot. I mean you were probably picturing when some girl did those things to you."

Justin shook his head. "No...that's not it. I KNOW that's not it because there were no thoughts of girls anywhere in my mind."

Nick swallowed hard, that was one of the things he needed to hear Justin say. Now he knew things weren't cracked up to be just because Justin was curious. There was something else going through Justin's mind. "Justin...did the thought of what that story was saying...turn you on?" he just thought he needed to ask even though he knew the answer.

"I don't know. I don't know what it feels like to be turned on by anything other than women."

"Tell me what you felt when you were reading the story and I'll tell you what it was you were feeling?" Nick shuggested, he couldn't believe he was having this conversation but he stayed calm, collected and cool...or at least tried to show that he was.

Justin shrugged a bit...absently rubbing his hand over his lower stomach under his t-shirt in a comforting fashion. "I don't know. I mean...maybe I can't explain it. I just...got like...kinda hot...and I could feel my face flush and butterflies in my stomach. And I was...like...scared to see what was gonna happen next. Scared...but curious."

Nick smiled a little and nodded. "Yeah...I know what you're talking about." He said, not sure what else to say knowing that if he told Justin what that probably meant, the guy would close up and never speak to him again.

Justin dropped his head to the side to look at Nick. "I don't know what it means...do you?"

Nick bit his bottom lip and nodded his head slowly. "The first time I ever got that feeling was when I saw you and the guys on that Disney concert." Was all Nick said, knowing that Justin would remember the conversation where he had said that was the first time he had really felt something for a guy.

Justin narrowed his eyes a bit. "Wait. You mean that first time you got that feeling from someone on TV...that was...?"

Nick nodded. "Well the first time I could really say what it was that I was feeling. I had been feeling stuff like that off and on for a while before that...but it wasn't then that I could actually say. 'Okay those guys are turning me on.'" Nick said, bitting his lip nervously, hoping Justin didn't flip out.

Justin lowered his arm off his pillow to use his elbow to prop himself up into a bit of a sitting position. "They...we...did?"

Nick laughed nervously. "You guys may of looked young and funny...but you sure didn't look that way to me."

"I was like...fifteen," Justin said quietly...his hand moving comfortingly over his stomach again.

"I was 16...and I totally fell in love with the blonde curly haird kid who had the best voice." Nick said smiling.

"What did you feel...exactly...when you were watching that?"

"That my face was heating up...I was bright red and there was that strange tickly tummy feeling that you think something is about to jump out like that thing on Alien." Nick explained, remembering the feeling all too well.

Justin sighed...knowing that was the same feeling he'd had a couple times during his conversations with Nick about 'gay stuff.' "But what totally confuses me is that I've never thought about guys...about doing things...with guys. I mean...at least I don't THINK I have."

"I'm sure you saw the guys without their clothes on before when changing...did you ever feel anything for them?" Nick asked, talking about the members of NSYNC...just wanting to help Justin think things through.

Justin made a face. "Hell no...not even Lance," Justin said...finally...although accidentally...revealing the gay NSYNCer.

Nick raised an eyebrow and giggled a bit, thinking about Lance. "Okay so that was a definate no. How about the last few days...or lately, have you seen any guys without their shirts on or like at a gym working out or something and gotten that feeling?" he asked, once again just trying to get Justin to open up.

Justin just shook his head...getting frustrated.

"Should I shut up?" Nick asked, noticing the change in Justin.

Justin was quiet for a second, then let out a quick laugh. "Myabe it's you," Justin teased. 'Maybe it IS him,' his brain said at the same time.

Nick looked up into Justin's eyes and took a deep breath. "Maybe it is me." he said seriously, feeling his heart sink at the same time. Of course that had been what he was thinking for a while now, but he wasn't too prepared to hear Justin say it.

Justin laughed again...sitting up on the couch. "That's crazy."

"Why is that so crazy? Tell me when you started to feel this stuff?" Nick asked calmly even though he was falling apart inside. He was see this as a bad thing...seeing it as if

Justin figured this was true he would make him leave and never see him again. It never once crossed his mind that maybe this meant Justin liked him...liked him,

"I don't know," Justin said with a quick shake of his head...not wanting to think about it.

Nick took a deep breath. "You do know." he whispered, not wanting to push Justin, but knowing that they needed to get this figured out before things got worse.

Justin shrugged...staring ahead at the other side of the room. "A couple days ago, maybe."

"What were you doing the first time you felt something?" Nick asked, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"I don't know...I don't remember."

Nick looked at Justin with a raised eyebrow. "I'm not sure why...but I don't believe you."

Justin took a deep breath...still not looking at Nick. "Well...the conversations about gay stuff...and how you feel about me...have been interesting to me since the beginning. But the first time I...felt anything...was earlier today...when you told me you had a dream about me."

Nick couldn't help but blush bright red, still not believing he had done that. "Which...is why you freaked so much when I made that comment about you wanting to watch me jerk off?"

Justin slowly shook his head. "No...the thought of watching you jerk off DOES freak me out. But...I was also freaked out by the fact that I...liked...the idea of you dreaming about me."

"I wish I could dream and not have you in them." Nick said honestly, his eyes not leaving Justin's

Justin finally looked back at Nick. "Why?" he asked quietly. "You don't like dreaming

about me?"

Nick shook his head like crazy. "No...I do...it's just It happens all the time...with the same result." Nick laughed nervously. "And let's just say it's a little strange to know I have dreams like that now that I actually know you."

"Oh..." Justin said simply...trying to understand everything.

"It's been great knowing you, Justin...I love every minute of it because you are a grate person. It's just funny to actually be with somebody you have lusted over. I'm not sure my mind and body know what to do with the idea." He stopped and cleared his throat.

"But we got off topic...this is supposed to be about you're feelings not mine...we've pretty much determined that I'm a hopeless freak.”

"You're not a freak, Nick...and I've never thought you are. Shit...I'M the freak...I don't know up from down right now."

"That doesn't make you a freak Justin...and I really would like to help you figure all this out. Because it sounds like you have been having a pretty crazy day." Nick giggled. "It's been pretty crazy for me and i'm not the one having issues with different feelings."

Justin sighed and leaned back against the back of the couch. "Nick...this stuff we're talking about...it had to stay here, OK? I mean...I know you're my friend...but you're a fan, too...so..."

Nick's eyes went wide. "I promise you, that I will not tell a single soul Justin. I could NEVER hurt you like that."

Justin nodded slowly...breathing a slow sigh of relieve. "Thanks.”

"I know what it's like to have people betray me" Nick said simply as he shifted around on the floor, his butt falling asleep.

Justin looked down as he toyed with them hem of his shirt with both his hands. "What if I'm...bisexual?"

"Then you live with it and go on with life. You don't have to act on it. I know people who are bi and they go out and get married and have normal hetrosexual lives. I'm not sure how that great it is for them...but they do it."

"Maybe I'm not bisexual. Maybe I just...I don't know...lost my mind for a couple days."

Nick laughed. "I don't think you're insane Justin...having feelings for another man...whatever it may be doesn't make you insane."

"Maybe it doesn't make me insane...but it makes me wonder about what I'm going to do with myself."

"You're going to have a great time experimenting with guy sex is what you're going to do." Nick joked, wiggling his eyebrows and winking at Justin.

Justin shook his head as something flip-flopped in his stomach. "No...no way...that's...I don't...do that."

Nick knew that Justin had some type of physical reaction to that by the way he responed and tried hard not to giggle. "You haven't before...but doesn't mean you wont...could be interesting." he said again, this time trying to get a reaction out of Justin.

"No...I HAVE before. Lance kissed me once...remember? I hated it!"

Nick had to bust up laughing at that. "Exactly...it was Lance...that guy scares the shit outa me."

"Whoever it was...it was a guy...and it did NOTHING for me."

"The first guy I kissed I thought it was disgusting too." He like spit in my mouth and did something so nasty that I threw up after-words." Nick laughed and made a face at the memory...Trying to lighten the mood and tell a true story.

Justin closed his eyes and groaned. "Gross."

Nick nodded, the same face still there. "Yeah...it was pretty nasty...but then I tried it again with this guy and whoa. I thought my knees were turned into noodles."

Justin opened his eyes back up and stared at the black TV screen as he shook his head slowly. "I've never felt like that from a kiss."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "Really? Not even when you were kissing Christina, the sex Goddess?"

Justin shook his head. "Hell no. I mean...yeah...she's a good kisser...and it was nice, and all...but it wasn't fireworks. I've never had fireworks. That's why I kinda believe that kissing is a lot more intimate than sex. Sex is just sex...but kissing is like...intensity and emotion."

Nick smiled and nodded. "Yeah...you're right...that was the last kiss I ever had like that...and I was 16. After that all the guys I met only wanted sex...there was no passion there...just lust and the need to get off. I would love to be kissed like that again."

Justin shrugged. "It'll happen for you again one day. And me...well...I guess I'm bound to experience it at least once before I die."

Nick wasn't even going to suggest what he was thinking in his head...What his brain was screaming at him. He will not ask Justin if he wanted to try kissing a guy again...and have that guy be him. He would not say that. "Yeah...I'm sure you will." he said sounding a little distracted.

Justin took a deep breath and finally got up off the couch. "Yup...maybe someday," he said...walking to the mini-bar for some water.

"Can I have one too please?" Nick asked, when he noticed Justin getting up for water.

"Sure," Justin said...then tossed Nick a bottle before leaning back against the counter and opening his own bottle.

Nick caught the bottle and lied back on the floor. Stretching his stiff arms and legs out. His shirt moving up half way as he tried to stretch all the kinks out.

Justin took a long sip of his water, then studied Nick for a moment...taking in his broad shoulders, messy spiked hair, and pudgy exposed tummy. "You're very comfortable with who you are...aren't you?" he asked suddenly.

Nick tilted his head to the side to look at Justin as he took a swig of his water, trying not to choke on it as he lied down. "I'm the only me I've got...I've gota like myself."

Justin cracked a small smile. "That's a pretty great attitude."

Nick shrugged and scratched his stomach. "I used to only weigh like...I'm not even sure how much but I was way too skinny. Now I'm trying my hardest to actually be healthy...so I'm not really holding back. He sat up a bit to look at his stomach. "I may be on the fat side but It's better then being way too skinny in my mind."

"You're not fat," Justin stated matter-of-factly before sipping his water again.

Nick smiled. "Thanks." he then sat up and stood up, his sweats hanging really low on him, almost totally falling off because of being pulled down as he lied on the floor. He quickly hiked them up, blushing when he remembered he wasn't wearing underwear.

Justin chuckled. "You're losing your pants," he said with a smirk...pointing at Nick with his water bottle.

Nick blushed and laughed. "Yeah...which isn't a good thing when you aren't wearing anything underneath." he giggled, taking a drink of his water to cool himself down. The idea of Justin almost seeing him totally naked from the waist down wasn't doing very good things at the moment.

Justin cleared his throat. "No...it's not," he said before taking another drink.

Twisting around to crack his back a few times, Nick walked over to where Justin was standing. "So...umm now what would you like to do?"

Justin shrugged. "Is it about dinner time yet?" he asked...sneaking his hand up under his t-shirt again to scratch that probably-imaginary itch. 

Nick nodded when he heard his stomach growl. "Yeah...that sounds good...even though I have no idea what I want to eat." he said, looking down at his feet and not at Justin scratching his stomach...and get his mind off the fact that he wanted to be the one touching Justin.

"Wanna just order a pizza?"

"That sounds really, really good." Nick said smiling big. That sounded perfect to him...something relaxing and simple.

Justin nodded...going over to the phone. "What do you like on it?"

"I eat pizza with anything on it...so you pick." Nick said going over to sit down on the couch.

Justin picked up the phone and ordered a large pizza with onions and peppers, and then went over to sit beside Nick after throwing his empty water bottle in the trash.

Nick turned to look at Justin and smiled. "I hope after eveything that is happened that you won't not want to see me again after this. I know you said you wont do that...but I just hope not."

Justin looked at Nick questioningly. "Why would I feel that way. It's not YOUR fault that I'm having all these fucked up feelings."

"Maybe it is and you don't know it...I mean I'm the one who is gay and said things to make you think about what being gay is like."

"You only said them cuz I asked you."

"Not all the time." Nick pointed out.

Justin shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I was interested in everything you had to say."

Nick smiled softly and nodded. "Okay...I guess I'm safe to know that when I leave you wont hate me."

"Like I said already...if I hated you, you wouldn't be here...you wouldn't be coming to Tennessee with me for Christmas...and you wouldn't be coming to Turks and Caicos with me on vacation."

"Shouldn't you be taking your next girlfriend with you to Turks and Caicos? I mean that sounds pretty romantic to me." Nick said with a raised eyebrow...once again crossing his fingers that he wont be socked in the mouth.

Justin shrugged. "I invited you. It doesn't have to be a romantic getaway."

Nick pouted playfully. "You're no fun."

"What?" Justin asked...seriously confused.

Nick giggled. "I said you're no fun cuz you didn't see it as a romantic vacation...with me." he looked at Justin. "It was meant to be a joke."

"Oh...sorry..."

It was Nick's turn to look confused. "What are you sorry for?"

Justin chuckled. "I don't know." Justin knew in his head, though, that he was sort of sorry for almost liking the sounds of a romantic vacation...with Nick...a guy.

"As long as we don't have strawberries and a fire we'll be great." Nick continued to joke.

"Ya know..." Justin said, looking across the parlor at the fireplace. "...it's too bad you feel that way...cuz I was honestly thinking a fire would make it nice and warm in here," he said honestly...still a bit chilled.

Nick swallowed hard, but kept his composure. "You, know that does sound nice...I'm a little chilly myself."

Justin nodded...still looking at the fireplace. "Great. One problem, though."

"And that would be?" Nick asked with a raise of one eyebrow.

Justin looked at Nick with a bit of a helpless little kid look on his face. "I have no idea how the hell to light a fire."

Nick giggled and got up and walked over to the fire place, seeing there were matches and the stove was gas he turned the little knob, lit a match and the fire started. "Walla...we have made fire."

Justin arched an eyebrow. "It's that easy?"

Nick walked back to the couch and sat down. "Yup...it's that easy...at least for this place. Some places you actually have to go get logs...put something in it like newspaper and then light the match...but this one is gas."

"Oh..." Justin said...his eyes on the fire. "...well don't I feel silly."

Nick smiled a bit. "I think it adds to your charm...it's cute." he admitted.

"That I'm such a spoiled brat that I can't even light a damn gas stove myself?"

Nick looked at Justin, shock in his eyes. "That isn't what I think at all...you are not a spoiled brat...and knowing how to light a gas fire place isn't really that easy. Hell I used to be scared to death of doing anything with matches until like two months ago."

Justin nodded slowly. "Hey...speaking of fire...and heat..." he said a bit absently...getting up and going to the bedroom for a minute.

Nick watched Justin go and for the second time that day had no idea what he was going to come back with.

Justin came back a few seconds later with his checkbook, and sat back down. "I believe...I promised you...this..." he said as he concentrated on scribbling out a check.

"Justin...you really don't have to do that...You've done way too much already." Nick asked with wide eyes, tears coming to them at how generous Justin was being...making him fall for him even more.

"Don't be ridiculous," Justin said as he tore the check off. "I told you I was gonna help you out and give you some money to fix your heater...and you agreed to take it." He handed Nick the check...written out for ten thousand dollars...and immediately got up and went to put his checkbook away.

Nick looked at the check and the amount and all of a sudden was very sick to his stomach. Getting off of the couch as fast as he could he ran into the bedroom and then into the bathroom. Not shutting the door he fell to the floor in front of the toilet and heaved up what he had eaten that day.

Justin looked up from his bag when he heard Nick whiz by him...then throw up. "Nick..." he said...going to the bathroom door. "What the hell happened?"

Nick finished heaving and leaned back against the wall, trying to catch his breath. "Y...you gave me...ten thousand dollars!"

Justin widened his eyes...trying to figure out what was going on. "So...?"

"It...shocked the hell out of me." Nick said trying to clear up what had happened. Standing up he flushed the toilet and went to the sink to wash out his mouth.

"I...I'm sorry," Justin said in a concerned tone...walking into the bathroom. He went over to the counter, and started digging through the elegant complementary basket of toiletries. "I didn't mean for that to happen," he stated...pulling out a toothbrush and handing it to Nick.

Nick smiled at Justin with tears pooling at the bottom of his eyes. "Don't be sorry...I just...I just god...Thank you so much." he said in a raspy voice as he tried to hold back from crying, taking the toothbrush with shaky hands.

Justin smiled. "You're welcome. I mean...I know it's WAY more than you need to fix your heater. But...I figured...you can get some nice Christmas gifts for your brother and sisters...maybe get a new bathing suit for our romantic vacation," he joked with a quiet laugh. "Put some away...and...ya know...buy something special for yourself," he added seriously.

Nick couldn't help himself he put down the toothbrush after brushing his teeth and wrapped his arms around Justin in a big hug, tears of joy and relief finally falling from his eyes.

Justin laughed softly as he hugged Nick back. "OK...OK..." Justin said a bit nervously. "No need to cry."

Nick giggled and pulled back, whipping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry...I'm being an emotional bundle of nerves...I've never had anybody care so much for me in my life...or at least be this nice and give me stuff." he said, not really wanting to make Justin think he had to care for him.

Justin shrugged. "Get used to it. I care about my friends," he said...then left the bathroom, and went back out to sit on the couch and wait for the pizza.

Nick washed his face and sprayed the room with room spray before coming out into the sitting room with Justin. Sitting down at the other end of the couch he stared at the check that was sitting on the coffee table. "I'm going to repay you some how...maybe not with money...but i'll figure something out." he said softly.

Justin glanced at Nick. "You're not supposed to repay people for gifts."

Nick looked at Justin. "That is a really, really...really big gift...and the trip here...the trips for Christmas and the Caribbean trip. Not to mention the desk. I need to do something." he said, thinking what he really wanted to do was show Justin that kissing a guy wasn't bad...and help him fight his inner demons...but he didn't know exactly how to go about doing that.

Justin shrugged. "Well...maybe you will someday," he said casually...and then got up to answer the door when he heard a knock.

Nick stayed on the couch when Justin got up to answer the door. Watching the way Justin walked. Now that this happened he was more in tune with Justin then he had before, which was a good and a really bad thing.

Justin paid for the pizza, then grabbed some napkins and waters from the mini-bar, and brought everything over to the coffee table.

Nick licked his lips when he smelled the pizza, it was almost 9pm now and he was starving. "That smells great."

Justin nodded as he opened the box. "Are you sure your stomach can handle it?"

"Yeah...that was just some strange emotional reaction...a very nasty emotional reaction" Nick said, climbing down off the couch to sit around the table where it was warmer by the fire.

Justin grabbed a slice of pizza on a napkin and a bottle of water, then joined Nick on the floor by the fire. "The fire was a good idea. I definitely feel warmer," he said before taking a bite.

Nick felt his stomach flip flop as Justin joined him on the floor...he tried so hard not to imagine them in JC and Justin's position on the story they read earlier. "Yeah it is nice." he said taking a bit of his pizza.

Justin finished his first slice before he spoke again. "I'm sorry I kinda flipped out before...and took off on yu, and all. I guess I just got overwhelmed." He looked at Nick as he sipped his water.

Nick shrugged and smiled as he swallowed. "Don't worry about it. I wasn't hurt this last time around...just extremely worried."

"Either way, I wanted to apologize..." Justin said as he leaned over to grab another slice of pizza. "...and thank you for talking to me...and listening."

"I would do it again...for as long as it took if you need to." Nick said before grabbing another slice himself.

"Thanks," Justin said before biting into his slice.

Nick looked around the room nervously as he at his slice. He tried not to feel uncomfortable but in a way knowing all the stuff about Justin was making him feel really, really weird. He could feel his boyhood crush on a star turning into a full blown crush...and it hurt him deep in his heart knowing he will never get a chance to show Justin how much he cared for him...at least not the way he would like to.

Justin noticed that Nick suddenly seemed distant. "What's on your mind?" he asked as he wiped his hands on a napkin after finishing his piece of pizza.

Shaken from his thoughts, Nick looked up at Justin. "What...huh?" he asked not hearing him.

"You look out of it...what's on your mind?"

"You really don't want to know." Nick said quietly, looking down at his lap, trying to regain some self control

Justin sipped his water. "You mean after everything I just told you...you're not gonna tell me what's bothering you?"

Nick looked up at Justin and sighed. "What I'm thinking...will not help your problems any...and they are more important."

"That's not true...your thoughts are just as important as mine."

Sighing again Nick nodded. "Okay...have you ever had a crush on some girl on tv or in the movies?"

Justin nodded. "Of course."

"Then you've had a crush on somebody in real life too I'm betting." Nick asked.

Justin nodded again. "Sure..." he said...picking a stray pepper off the pizza box and putting it in his mouth.

"Well you know I've had a crush on you since I was 16...that was a celebrity crush...but well now it isn't exactly like that anymore." Nick said almost like a whisper.

Justin took a deep breath. "Because you don't look at me as a celebrity anymore..." he said quietly. "...and now you have a crush on a real life person."

Nick looked up at Justin and smiled slightly. "Exactly."

Justin exhaled deeply as he pulled in his legs to sit Indian style. "Damn."

Nick closed his eyes and sighed. "I told you, you didn’t want to know."

"Hold on...I never said that. I just...what now?"

Opening his eyes he shrugged. "Nothing...we'll just carry on like we are now."

Justin nodded. "Yeah. OK. You're right."

Nick took a deep shaky breath as he looked down at his lap again, picking at a fuzz on his inner thighs were the sweats had been rubbed together. He wanted nothing more then to have Justin say the same things back to him. He was dying inside but he it would be so much worse to not have Justin at all.

End of Chapters Six - Ten