Title: The Ghost of Christmas Past

Authors: Deena and Steph

Pairing: Nick/Justin

Warnings: Slash, Semi-AU, and Mpreg.

Disclaimer: Fiction.

Feedback: Would love it, please and thank you.

Summary: A nuclear explosion. Hormonal changes. One night. A baby. Three years. The truth. Progress. A surprise.

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PROLOGUE

1988

Three days before Christmas and everything in the little town of Jamestown, NY was calm and still. Everything outside was covered in a thick layer of white snow, all the houses were decorated in the traditional festive colors, and all the families were cozy and warm within their homes. The excitement was definitely in the air but on this particular crisp winter night the Carter family was overjoyed. A few minutes ago the Mrs. received a phone call from the American Naval base stationed out in Japan with two bits of news. The first one being that Admiral Carter was unable to fly home for the holidays due to 'issues' arising in Japan. But the second bit of news was that the whole family had the privilege of flying out to Japan, all expenses paid and taken care of. This set the Carters off into hysterics; they would finally see their father after not seeing him for a whole year. Mrs. Carter, her eldest son Nickolas, eight, and her two daughters, Bobbie Jean, seven, and Leslie, two, were busy running around the house packing a weeks worth of clothing and other necessary items they would need.

Nick did not get any sleep that night and neither did his two sisters who spent the night in Nick's room talking about how excited they were about flying and more so, going to Japan. They've never been overseas before nor have they ever been on a plane. Their little heads fantasized and speculated many things but nothing could prepare them for when they arrived in Japan.

-+-=-=-+-=-=-+-

The first few days in Japan went well, the whole Carter clan spent time doing different things. The girls all went shopping while Nick opted to stick around and watch Bob Carter at work. He had never seen his dad working before; actually his dad's real job was mostly a secret to him.

The more time he spent watching his father at work, Nick realized how much he didn't know the older man, and that hurt. He wished his dad lived with them so he could have that male role model he heard everybody talking about. His own grandfather was always yelling at his mom to find a man that could be there for her son. Nick didn't want another dad to take this job but his own dad. 'Maybe we can move here' he thought as he looked around the quite little Japanese military base.

-+-=-=-+-=-=-+-

Christmas morning flew by faster then the family would have liked it too because that meant they would be flying back home in a few days. They tried to spend the holiday as traditional as possible with the kids waking up to their presents under the Christmas tree and then having a big breakfast that Bob made himself. Everything was going as planned and the three children were enjoying themselves immensely even though they weren't home around their own tree and fireplace.

The big Christmas dinner was the major part of the Carter holiday and this year they were doing something different. They decided since they were in Japan they should have Japanese food instead of the traditional ham or turkey. It had all turned out really good, the kids enjoying the fried rice and fortune cookies the best while the adults went all out and even tried things like squid and octopus.

As the adults were finishing off their coffee and the kids had their full of fortune cookies a loud bang could be heard in the distance.

-+-=-=-+-=-=-+-

It took almost twenty-four hours to know what had happened exactly and when it was found out mass panic swept through the town the US military base was located. It was said to have been the worst nuclear plant explosion since Chernobyl two year earlier and this time they had no idea what the lasting side effects were going to be. So far only those in the plant or matters of feet around it were injured or killed but that didn't mean that years down the road things and people would be effected.

What Nick didn't know was that HIS life would forever be changed that Christmas of 1988

CHAPTER ONE

1992

Nick groaned as he rolled over in bed and looked at his alarm clock. It was after eight and he had a feeling he was probably the last Carter kid up since it was Christmas morning. Sighing he climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. It took him extra time to go through the normal morning rituals because for some reason he felt like he had been hit by a Mack truck in the middle of the night.

"What in the world is wrong with you?" He asked out loud to himself as he pulled on PJ pants and then headed into the living room.

"There he is...FINALLY!" BJ stated when she saw her brother coming down the hall and into the living room.

Jane smiled at her son, "Good morning Sun..." she stopped in mid sentence because of Nick's tired appearance. "Baby are you okay?"

"Fine," Nick snapped as he passed everybody into the living room and walked into the kitchen.

The twins, Aaron and Angel, eyed their big brother as if they were looking at a stranger. It was very unlike Nick to be in a bad mood especially Christmas morning, much less be the last one up. They just walked over to where their presents for Nick were and picked it up. They were very eager for their big brother to see what they made for him.

Bob shared a look with his wife before speaking up. "Everyone's been restless, been wanting you to open up your presents," he said smiling fondly at the twins.

"Yeah, bro," Leslie stated as she got up to go hug Nick. "Cheer up!" She pulled back when she felt Nick go rigid in her arms and heard his hiss in her ear. Pulling back she noticed that he went from being pale to turning... paler, if that was possible. "Whoa..."

“Dude I think he's going to puke or something,” BJ exclaimed her eyes as wide as her Sister's.

Nick simply shook his head and headed to find a place to sit. “I'm just tired and kinda sore. I think I slept wrong or something.” He explained. When the twins handed him two messily wrapped gifts he smiled at them before ripping into them. What he found were two clay figures that he had NO idea what they were but that didn't matter. “Thanks guys.” He said giving them both a hug.

Jane signed when she saw Nick acting somewhat like his normal self. “We've still got some sticky buns and bacon in the kitchen if you're hungry honey.”

The idea of food made Nick pale even more. It was weird because he didn't seem nauseous he just felt all blah.

"And I think some freshly squeezed orange juice," Bob added. "But finish up opening your presents and then eat something, you look like you need it." He then went about collecting all the wrapping paper thrown around the living room.

Leslie eyed her brother as the twins tried to get themselves comfortable on Nick's lap. He looked... there were no words for how he looked and not in the good sense. "Maybe, he should go eat now," she said carefully and watched Nick grimace at hearing that.

“I don't really want to eat anything; my stomach is making weird noises.' Nick admitted and giggled a little when one of the twins bent down to listen to his stomach.

Jane got really worried now, “Honey do you feel like you're sick?” she asked walking over and feeling his forehead which wasn't warm.

Nick shook his head, “No…I mean I don't think so. I just feel kind of weird. Maybe once I get these presents opened I'll feel like eating.”

”Here open this one…it's from me.” BJ said with a smile as she handed a small package to her brother. She was nervous about this because she had spent her own allowance money on gifts this year so it meant a lot to her that everybody liked her presents. So far everybody did, but Nick's was the one she spent the most on and really hoped he liked it.

”Thanks Bje…” Nick smiled as he un-wrapped the gift and opened the box. Inside was a little dolphin silver necklace. “Oh wow…” he whispered tears coming to his eyes.

Bob smiled at his daughter and then at Nick. The twins looked at the pendant and smiled big. "Fishy," they said in Unisom as they pointed at the dolphin.

"Oh, that's gorgeous," Leslie said as he looked over Nick's shoulder. She couldn't help but smile even more when she placed her present to Nick on his lap. "I think this would accompany that!" It was a bracelet she had made with small sea shells she'd collected from the beach.

Nick opened Leslie's gift and a tear actually escaped his eye. “This is beautiful…thank you.” He said and then gave both his sister's hugs. “You guys are great!”

”If only our children could act like this ALL the time,” Jane mumbled to her husband and then chuckled.

BJ was shocked to see Nick crying. Nick was at the age where crying was just not okay for boys to do. Of course their dad never made him feel that way it was just something he said. Especially now that he joined the Backstreet Boys he had been playing up the 'Mr. Macho' façade a lot more.

"Alright," Bob said. "Why don't you all go get cleaned up so we can eat? Oh, and Nick, Brian called... he said he would be coming over around eleven..."

Both Leslie and BJ's eyes widened and they looked at each other with glee.

“Excellent!” Nick exclaimed jumping up from his seat. He LOVED Brian…of course in the friendship sort of way. He was just older and SO cool at least he thought he was. What he didn't realize was his sisters both though the same things about Mr. Littrell. “I'm going to go get dressed then I'll come down and eat.” He said rushing out of the room.

”I'm not sure if he should go…” Jane said watching Nick leave the room. “He's been feeling poorly all morning maybe he shouldn't go out.”

"Well, he seems to be alright." Bob said watching his son rush out of the room. "A lot better than a few minutes ago..." He grabbed the twins in his arms to take them to their room to help them get cleaned up. He didn't even need to tell the other girls again to go get cleaned; they were already in their room trying to decide what to wear for when Brian came over.

-+-=-=-+-=-=-+-

An hour later there was a knock on the door and Nick was once again out of his seat in a flash. “BRIAN'S HERE I'M LEAVING!” he yelled as he ran to the door.

”Wait!” BJ exclaimed trying to get out of own chair fast enough to see Brian before they left.

Nick opened the door and smiled big when he saw his older friend. “Hey Bri…I just need to grab my sweatshirt.” He said knowing his mother would never let him out of the house without a sweatshirt even though it was close to 75 degrees outside.

Brian just stood there with wide eyes, surprised. His finger was still on the door bell when the door swung wide open to reveal Nick who was just there but then wasn't there only to show BJ and then Leslie, both of them staring up at him with big blue eyes. "Ooookay," he said slowly and put a smile on his face. "Hello ladies," he greeted, his Southern charm coming out. "Looking lovely as usual." he shoved his hands in his pockets and waited on the porch.

"Brian," Bob greeted from behind the girls. "Why don't you come in for a few, have some cookies?"

"Sorry Dad but we've got things to do," Nick from inside his hoodie since he was pulling it over his head.

"Ohh but he has to...I made them." BJ explained batting her eye-lashes at Brian.

"Oh, you did," Brian said. "I would definitely love to try them then." But before he could even finish that statement there was a platter full of cookies under his nose. Raising his hand he took one while his other hand was taken by Leslie who was directing him into the living room.

"Have a seat," Leslie said plopping down besides Brian while BJ took the other side.

"Thanks," Brian said, sitting and chewing. "Mmmm, thank you and these are delicious, just delightful." He winked at BJ before looking over at Nick's displeased face.

"Guuys...Brian is MY friend!" Nick whined actually stomping his foot looking like he was about to go into full temper tantrum mode.

BJ's eyes went wide when she saw her brother tearing up again and ready to throw a fit. "He's just eating a darn cookie...then he can go with you...Jesus!"

"Yeah, Nick... calm down," Leslie said, pouting.

"It's alright Nick," Brian said with a chuckle, not thinking much about Nick's antics since they've just known each other for a few months now. "These cookies are good though, mind if I get some on the go?" He asked looking at BJ.

"Of course...I'll go get a sandwich bag!" BJ said rushing out of the room.

"Daddy make them stop!" Nick whined looking to his dad wanting his sisters to lay off of HIS friend.

Bob raised an eyebrow. Daddy? Nick called him daddy? Wasn't it just a few months ago that Nick had sat both himself and Jane down and gave THEM a lecture about how he was growing up and that he should be treated like an adult or at least someone who is getting there. "It's just cookies, son," he said at a loss for anything else. "Maybe you should stay home and get some more rest?" He was beginning to worry. Nick still looked pale.

Brian walked over to where Nick was standing and held out a cookie for him. "Maybe this will cheer ya up, you big old Grinch!" He waved the cookie in Nick's face before placing it at his lips so he could take a bite.

Nick just scowled at Brian for a second before he finally took a bite of the cookie.

BJ laughed at Brian calling Nick a Grinch. "I think he's more like scrooge." she said happy she was able to be talking with the older teenager.

And before Nick could pick a fight with his sister Brian decided to gently shove the cookie into Nick's mouth so that it would be occupied preventing him from speaking. He accepted the bag of cookies from BJ and placed it in his jacket pocket. "Thanks, but we'll be heading out now..." He draped gently nudged Nick towards the door. "Take care Mr. Carter... Merry Christmas!"

"It's Bob and you too Brian..." Bob said as he walked them to the door... Leslie and BJ right on their tales.

"Bye brats," Nick stated once he could talk again and glared at his sisters.

BJ's eyes went wide. "Dad!" she said turning to her father. "You heard that didn't you?"

Bob sighed and rubbed at his temples. "Apologize Nickolas," he said in a stern voice before the boys could leave the property. "Now!” This was very unlike his son

"Sorry," Nick mumbled before walking down the walk.

"He didn't mean that," BJ whined and then smiled up at Brian. "How about you spend the day with us rather then Mr. Fussy Pants?"

Brian laughed but gave her a sorry look. "Would love to ladies but I'm afraid I can't. Plans were made and I promised Nicky here that we'd hang out today," he shrugged. "But I'm sure there will be other days we could hangout... soon." With that he and Nick headed out.

"Finally," Nick said as he climbed into the passenger seat of Brian's car.

Brian got himself settled in and started the car. Looking over at Nick he asked, "Everything okay? You look a bit... pale." He pulled out of his parking spot and headed towards the mall.

"Fine," Nick stated really getting annoyed with everybody asking him that.

"Alright, alright," brain eased up. After a few minutes of silence, he asked, "So...what did ya get?"

Nick turned to Brian confused. "Get?" he asked having NO idea what his friend was talking about.

"For Christmas..." Brian clarified.

"OH," Nick blushed realizing he probably should have known what Brian meant. "I got some video games from my parents...a necklace from BJ...a bracelet from Leslie and some weird clay things from the twins." he smiled at Brian, "How about you?"

Brian sighed, a bit sad. His family was out in Kentucky, and the only real family he had down with him was his cousin Kevin. Early this morning he and Kevin got on the phone with their family and had opened up presents, not what he wanted but it was what he could get considering the circumstances. "Some clothes, a cross chain, pictures, and some of my CD's..." He ended with a smile.

"That's cool," Nick said smiling at the older teenager. He REALLY looked up to Brian because he was just a great guy but also because he didn't treat him or AJ for that matter as the dumb little kids of the group. Sure, the other guys were nice but none of them played with him when he wanted to...or asked his opinion about things like he was an adult.

"Oh, and a brand new basketball..." Brian said, remembering his gift from his older brother. "We are definitely gonna work that ball in this weekend, maybe tomorrow even..."

Nick smiled big at that and that was when he realized he didn't know what they were going to do today. "What are we going to do today?" he asked out loud. Brian had told him on the phone that what they were going to do was some what of a surprise.

"We're going to the mall," Brian pointed out the obvious. But the one thing he didn't mention was that today there was a carnival being held and he remembered this one conversation he had with nick that the younger blonde always loved carnivals and was the one thing he missed about Jamestown since he had moved to Florida. Kevin, AJ, Howie would be meeting them in an hour or so to head on out to the carnival but in the mean time they would shop around.

Nick smiled at that, he liked shopping...as long as it wasn't for clothes. "Ohh, there is this new game store that I REALLY wanna check out," he said bouncing in his seat a bit.

"Yeah, but you need to be checking out the sneakers store first," Brian said reminding Nick of their meeting with Lou. They would be going into rehearsals soon and that meant lots of dancing, meaning they needed good pair of sneakers to practice in.

Nick looked down at his well loved Nike's and pouted. "But I like MY shoes he said." his parents had always found it odd that he HATED getting new clothes...especially shoes. It was like pulling teeth to get him to buy anything new. He said they were uncomfortable, but when you're twelve and beginning to grow like a weed it happens all too much.

Brian made a face. "Nick, the bottoms of your shoes look just about to fall off," he pointed out. "And not to mention the tears on the top..."

"Yeah...but they're comfortable." Nick said with a shrug not really seeing the problem about that. They were HIS shoes after all.

"Suit yourself, but your getting new shoes... I really don't prefer to see Lou go red in the face again," Brian said making a face as he parked the car in the parking lot of the mall.

Nick made a face at that too and then groaned when his stomach cramped up really bad all of a sudden

"Nick?" Brian asked worried as he parked the car. He placed a hand on Nick's shoulder. "What?"

"Nothing...I'm okay," Nick said and it was true, the odd cramping did go away thankfully.

"Are you sure?" Brian said as he got out of the car and then headed with Nick into the mall.

Nick nodded his head as they headed into the mall. As he saw all of the different stores the thoughts of pain totally vanished. "Can we PLEASE look at the game store first...then we can go look for shoes." he said giving Brian the true 'Carter' pout.

Brian narrowed his eyes. "We'll never get to the shoe store if we go to the game store first,” he said in a matter of fact tone. He knew Nick well enough by now.

Nick was really pouting now. "But...but!"

"Nooo," Brian said looking away from Nick. It was his only hope for standing his ground when Nick got this way. Look away. "It'll be fast, I promise." Let took Nick by the arm and led them towards the shoe store.

Nick drug his feet the whole way as Brian pulled him into Footlocker. "I hate this," he grumbled once again seeming as moody as he was at his house with his sisters.

"Come on," Brian said, excited. He loved sneakers, and couldn't fathom why Nick wouldn't be just as excited. After all they both loved basketball just as equally and sneakers were an important must when it came to playing good.

It took a few minutes but soon Nick found a few pairs that didn't look too bad that he wanted to try on. "Are you sure I would look okay in orange?" he asked holing up the Nike basketball sneakers that had orange parts to it. Brian had said they were the best out of his choices to try on but he wasn't so sure.

Brian nodded. "Better than the lime green ones or the purple one," he said. "Though, the black and red one is cool too."

"Hmmm," Nick said as he told the clerk helping them that he wanted to try the orange, black and red style on and gave him his size.

While they waited Brian checked out another pair of shoes and contemplated between two sneakers. "Which one?" he asked Nick holding the white and silver one in one hand and a blue and white one in the other.

"Blue and white...like your eyes." Nick said with a cute smile not realizing how 'weird' that might have sounded.

Brian cocked his head to one side and blinked up at Nick for a few seconds. Shaking his head he looked down at his choices and put the silver and white ones away, keeping the blue and white one. "Okay, blue and white it is, thanks." He gave Nick a smile and scooted over when Nick received his sneakers to try on.

It took almost a half an hour and five different size changes before Nick was some what happy with his choice in shoes. They DID look cool but he hated how they felt. Actually right now EVERYTHING just felt yucky, even his own shoes and clothes. Everything was just bugging the shit out of him.

"Wow, that took longer than expected," Brian chuckled as they headed out of the store and as promised towards the game store.

"I told you," Nick said with a pout, thinking his game store time was a lot smaller then he wanted it to be.

"Well, I'll keep that in mind the next time we go shopping," Brian said with a laugh. And when they got into the store Brian watched Nick's face turn from a pout to utter glee at all the new video games.

"Oh Brian look!" Nick exclaimed as he picked up the Super Mario Land 2 game. "This was just out last month!" he said knowing his parents never bought the game right after it came out because it cost way too much.

Brian looked and made a face at the price; still expensive. "Oh, don't spend money on it right away though... “He said picking up Mortal Combat and checking out the front and back cover. "It's still a bit pricey."

"Everything always is," Nick said with a sigh. "But some day we'll make so much money that we can buy this whole damn store!"

Brian laughed at that. "Let's pray for that," he said.

Nick folded his hands and looked up at the ceiling. "Oh god PLEASE let us become rich so we can buy all the video games in the world."

Brian laughed some more and threw his arm around Nick's shoulder in a brotherly manner. "You're too much but Amen to that."

Nick laughed and the looked at the door.” Come on I'm only going to get depressed if I stay in here anymore. Plus I'm STARVING let's go get something to eat?"

"Sure," Brian said checking his watch. "The guys are gonna be joining us soon, let's wait for them to eat something... cool?”

"Okay...but if I waist away I'll blame you." Nick giggled as they walked out of the store. "What are we gonna do while we wait then if we're not going to eat?"

"Walk," Brian said with a laugh as he spotted AJ's blue hair a few feet away from them.

Nick started walking and noticed AJ too. "I'm not sure I want to walk towards the Smurf." He giggled making fun of AJ's hair.

AJ turned around when he recognized Nick's voice. He lowered his sun glasses to show his narrowed glare. "I heard that blondie!" He said before getting Howie's and Kevin's attention and pointed out Brian and Nick. "Where were you guys?"

"Sneaker shopping," Brian held up his bag.

"You got him to buy shoes?" Howie asked in shock, he had known Nick a little longer then the rest of the guys and new how much Nick HATED buying new things.

"I bet he had to pull him tooth and nail." Kevin laughed good naturedly as he ruffled Nick's hair.

Nick pouted, "Hey stop messing with my hair." he said swatting Kevin's hand away. He liked Kevin...he was a big brother type and made sure he didn't get into too much trouble. BUT he wasn't anything like his cousin.

"Not really," Brian said with a chuckle. "More like pull him by the arm...literally, oh and a promise to go to the game store after the footlocker." He nodded at the bags in Kevin's hands. "What about you guys? Oh, let's get some food!"

"Awesome, I could eat a whole horse, I'm hungry!" AJ stated heading towards the food court first. "Mickey D's here we come!"

"He just ate half an hour ago," Howie grumbled knowing AJ was at that stage where he had a hollow leg.

"You people just like to make fun of me," Nick pouted cutely as they headed for the food court.

"That's because you're cute," Kevin giggled.

"Don't feed his ego," Brian laughed. "He'll get us for it and use it against us."

Once they got to the food court and got their food they all found a table.

"Nick are you okay?" Howie asked when he noticed Nick wince and get an odd look on his face.

"Uh...yeah..." Nick said not able to say 'fine' this time because he honestly wasn't sure what was going on.

"He's been like that all day," Brian said at Kevin's concerned look.

"Eat up Nicky Nick," AJ said. "Looks like your turning into a vamp minus the teeth and bite marks."

Nick shook his head, "My stomach...hurts." he stated rubbing his lower stomach where it felt like it was trying to contract out of his body.

"Geez..." Howie said his eyes wide, Nick really didn't look good. "Maybe we should skip our plans...and take him home?"

Brian dropped his McChicken and nudged Nick. "Nick... seriously... what's wrong?" He asked bending a bit lower to get a better look at Nick's face.

"He looks like he's gonna puke," AJ put in two cents in and made a face.

"It hurts," Nick stated pouting. "I don't feel like I'm going to throw up...it just...hurts."

Kevin wasn't sure if he should say this out loud because it might humiliate Nick but he did anyway. "Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

Nick glared at Kevin, he hated being treated like a baby and that sure as hell sounded like a thing you said to a baby.

AJ cleared his throat. "Or maybe not," he said.

"Where does it hurt exactly?" Brian asked.

"Here," Nick said putting his hand on his stomach practically over his bladder but a little lower, almost to his crotch.

"Can't be your stomach then," Brian said shaking his head. "Um...." He looked up at his cousin helplessly before turning his attention to the other guys for help.

AJ just shook his head; he had no idea what to do. "Maybe we should call his parents...or take him home?"

Nick shook his head like crazy, "I don't want to go home...I'm alright...it's feeling better." he said actually telling the truth.

Kevin seemed skeptical but nodded his head. It wasn't often enough they got to hang out together when it wasn't business oriented.

"Its okay, Nick... “Brian said not wanting Nick to say that because of them.”Seriously, it's okay if we cancelled our plans..."

"No really I do feel better," Nick said as he actually picked up his quarter Pounder and took a big bite.

Brian sighed and then shrugged his shoulders. "Alright." They all spent the next 30 minutes making small talk before they got ready to head out back for the carnival.

"So what are we doing now?" Nick asked curiously, feeling like everybody knew but him.

"It's a surprise," Howie said with a smile. "So we're not telling you."

"Yeah, so stop asking," AJ chuckled, giddy about it himself. "You'll love it."

"I better," Nick grumbled playfully.

"You will," Brian said giving Nick a semi-noogie. As soon as they got outside, they found themselves in the midst of a lot people and a lot of noise and excitement.

"What in the..." Nick's eyes went wide as he looked around what looked like one of those portable carnival things that traveled around.

"You like?" Howie asked knowing Nick did.

"Uh huh..." Nick said about ready to go running around like a chicken with his head cut off.

"We are so getting on that spinning thing," AJ said pointing at the ride. "I've been on that before, it's out of this world. You stand up by the wall and the thing spins and you are like glued to the wall... Let's go!"

"I'm not sure..." Brian began to say that he wasn't sure if Nick should get on the ride first... maybe start off on a smaller ride like... the carrousel…or something.

"Oh yeah that sounds great!" Nick exclaimed as he took off with AJ towards the ride.

"Dear god help us," Kevin said shaking his head as he watched the young teens run to the ride.

"Um, I'm gonna check out the arcades," Brian said nodding to the arcades next to the ride AJ and Nick went on. "You guys?"

"I am so joining you. I don't want to watch them come off that ride looking like hell warmed over." Howie laughed as he followed Brian.

"Right behind you," Kevin said jogging a little to catch up.

"Okay...maybe that wasn't the best...idea," Nick said as he stumbled off the ride next to an equally messed up looking AJ.

AJ swallowed a lump in his throat and realized that lump didn't want to go down but rather come out. A bit unsteady on his feet he spotted Kevin and the guys by the ride and slowly made his way over to them. He opened his mouth to say something but made a mad dsah over to the trash can and emptied his insides into it.

"I think they liked the ride," Brian said sarcastically as Kevin and Howie ran over to AJ to soothe him but his eyes popped out of his head when he noticed that while AJ was puking his guts out... Nick's seemed have come out from the other end. "Oh my..." He trailed off taking in Nick's appearance... he was... that was... blood. Nick's lower half was being stained with... blood. "Nick...."

"Yeah?" Nick asked as he watched AJ getting sick. He didn't feel THAT bad thankfully...there was just that dull ache in his stomach he hadn't seemed to be able to get rid of all day.

"Um... all your guts in tact?" Brian asked carefully as he approached Nick and tugged at the bottom of his sweater indicating for Nick to take it off. "I mean, you didn't leave any of them inside the ride, right?"

Nick giggled and shook his head, "No I'm okay." he said as he wiggled a little, something felt damp, but he tried to ignore it.

"Oh, well that's good that you think that," Brian said looking worried. "Sweater off please..."

"Huh?" Nick asked looking at Brian like he lost his mind.

Brian pointed downwards not knowing what else to say or do.

Nick glanced down and noticed the whole front of his pants were red. "What the..." he said and then his eyes went wide and he looked like he was about to faint.

Brian caught Nick by his shoulders when he swayed a bit. "Sweater, off... now," he said. "Stay with me Nick... breathe...."

"Me...blood...pants..." Nick jabbered as he put the sweatshirt around his waist and just looked at Brian in fear. "I'm not...supposed to… do that!"

"No, you're not," Brian said calmly because if the both of them freaked out nothing would get done. "But we'll take you... to the hospital or home... and figure this out..." He turned around and noticed that Kevin and Howie's attention was still on AJ who was sitting on the ground catching his breath.

"I don't want...a hospital." Nick said shaking his head. "I...I just..." he tried to stay strong but couldn't.”I want my mom."

"Mom it is," Brian said trying to not panic. "Um, guys... we're gonna... uh... head home..." He didn't want to bring Nick's predicament out in the open, he didn't think Nick would want that at the moment. "Like... right now... so... take care and have fun!"

"Wait... wha...?" AJ said looking up at Brian; he couldn't really get a look at Nick since the younger blonde was practically hiding behind him. "Already.... just one ride and you go home?"

"I don't feel well...at all." Nick said. "And not cuz of the ride...my stomach is hurting like it did before." he said pretending to moan even though he didn't feel THAT bad he just felt...well icky.

Kevin got a worried look on his face, "Okay take him home Bri...and give us a call once you get settled in to make sure everything is okay."

Brian nodded. “Alright," he draped an arm around Nick. "Bye guys..."

"Ewww..." Nick fussed as they walked back to the car. He seriously felt like he had peed his pants or something.

On their way to the car Brian grabbed a bunch of plastic bags, something to cover his car seat with and something for Nick to sit on. He had no idea what the heck was wrong with Nick and he was starting to get scared. He really prayed it wasn't life threatening.

Once home Nick practically ran inside calling for his parents. "MOM, DAD!"

Jane came rushing out from one of the back bedrooms. "What...what's going on?"

"That..." Brian said pointing at Nick's blood soaked sweater still wrapped around his waist. "I promise you, he was fine when he went on the ride but... he came out...like... that!"

Bob's eyes went wide and he paled. His son looked like he was in a horror movie.

"I don't know what's going on..." Nick said tears coming to his eyes. "I don't feel like I got hurt or something."

"Oh god," Jane gasped a hand going over her mouth in shock. They had heard of this happening but she never expected it was going to happen to her baby.

"Um," Bob said reaching for the phone. "We'll call Dr. Kimono... I think he will be more likely to help shine a light on this..." He trailed off.

Help shine a light on what? Brian thought to himself. Nick was bleeding to death and getting paler by the second... don't need a doctor to tell you that. "I should... um... Should I..." He didn't know what he had to do.

"I'm going to go change my clothes," Nick said eying his parents weird. It was odd but he felt fine now besides feeling damp and sticky.

"I...I'll..." Jane wasn't sure what to say. "I'll go get some cold water running in a bucket for those.

Nick looked back wondering if Brian was coming with him.

Brian stood still looking back and forth from Jane to Bob to Nick. It was when Nick gave him a look that he asked, "What?"

"He said he could be here in an hour," Bob said with a sigh as he hung up the phone.

-+-=-=-+-=-=-+-

Almost exactly an hour later Dr. Kimono was at the Carter's house and checking Nick over. Not much was being said as the doctor hummed and ahaaaed to himself.

Brian did not know the language of "hums" and "Ahhs" and as much as he tried he didn't quite understand if the doctor's analysis of Nick, so far, was in the positive light. Was his friend going to be alright, was the only thing Brian wanted to know, and maybe after that, he would like an explanation as to why Nick's bleeding from down there. The waiting part was killing him, and he was getting restless. Looking over to Jane and Bob, he felt reassured to know that they were somewhat in the same boat as him even though they seemed to be a bit less paranoid as he seemed to be.

"Mr. Littrell; can I talk to Nick and his parents alone please?" Dr. Kimono asked once he was finished examining Nick. He had even done a full blood work up and had done an analysis on the blood right there in Nick's bedroom.

"I don't want him to go," Nick said shaking his head. "Whatever you gotta say you can say with him here too...he's like family."

When Jane and Bob both nodded Dr. Kimono began to explain. "Nick's been effected by the explosion like you both feared." he started and before Nick or Brian could freak out he continued. "This doesn't mean Nickolas is going to die nor is he sick. For some unknown reason when the chemical plant exploded in Japan a few years ago it has altered the hormones in a person's body. It's made early pubescent girls hit puberty quicker and those that were old enough at the time when it happened have now had multiple births..."

"What does that have to do with ME?" Nick spit out between what the doctor was explaining.

"It didn't just alter the hormones in young woman and girls but in young men and boys too. Every man has a little bit of estrogen and progesterone in their systems but with extensive research it has been found that boys and young men who survived the explosion now have an abnormal amount of the female sex hormones."

Bob nodded the whole time the doctor was speaking. He knew this much, he'd been keeping up with the Japan press in regards to this topic. And both he and Jane had been hoping it wasn't true for their son and had been glad that Nick hadn't shown any signs that the other boys who were affected were showing... that was until now. Sharing a look with his wife, Bob pulled her close and hugged her. He then placed a comforting hand on his son's shoulder.

"So..." Brian trailed off wondering if his friend would start growing breasts and in place of his 'manhood' a woman's.... well, yeah, that... would be grown. "Why was he bleeding... and still bleeding?" He ended up asking. "And how long will it last for?"

Bob bit his lip before replying in a whisper the words of the doctor he'd seen in a Japanese news interview say, "its permanent, can't be reversed."

"But I still don't get it...are you telling me I'm a girl now or something?" Nick asked with confused wide eyes.

Dr. Kimono shook his head. "No you're still a boy Nick...it's just that you've got the same reproductive organs a female does...but it's still possible for you to father children too."

"So I'm like one of those weird freakish people that are both...Himaph...something I don't remember what they're called."

"Hermaphrodite," Bob supplied. "Something like that but not really."

"He can... like..." Brian waved his hand around hoping the words would come to him. "He can get pregnant?"

"We can safely say that Nick just hit puberty and that his menstrual cycle just started," Jane said, taking a seat beside her son.

"My what?" Nick asked his eyes even wider. He had gone through the normal sex ed classes in his grade school so he knew what that meant. The only problem was he didn't like the fact that it had to do with him.

Jane sighed, "Honey you've started your period." she said thinking her son didn't understand the terminology.

"I got that...but I'm a BOY...not a girl. I mean like I don't have a girl's...you know...I have a penis..." Nick exclaimed.

"You're right you don't," The doctor said totally expecting these questions. "The way your body has been changing over the last few years it's compensated for the fact that you don't have a vagina nor a birth cannel and all those things. It's decided your rectum is just as good."

"So I'm bleeding out my ass." Nick stated a not very happy look on his face.

Brian felt like he was in a very twisted twilight zone.

"Simply put, yes..." Bob agreed.

"Because I've got like girly parts inside of me...and I can actually get knocked up?" Nick asked finding all of this way too weird.

"I know this is a lot to adjust to honey but it won't be that bad." Jane assured her son.

"Okay you try turning into a guy and tell me that again." Nick grumbled, turning away from everybody.

Bob sighed. Nick just needed some time to absorb everything. That's it. It's a lot to take in and he understood that. "Son, I know... this can't be easy for you and that it's a lot to take in but you're not the only one going through this..." he looked over at the doctor. "There were many boys affected who were exposed to the radiation just like you were..."

"That is very true, there are close to five hundred boys your age going through the same thing you're going through right now." The doctor said with a smile as he collected his things.

"Sure...whatever," Nick mumbled just wanting the doctor and his parents to leave. They all seemed too cheerful about this, like they didn't understand.

Bob turned to the doctor. "Thank you coming by on such short notice," he said shaking his hands.

"Not a problem...but there are some things I would like to discuss with your wife downstairs if possible."

Jane as hesitant but nodded her head. With one last look at Nick she took her husband's hand and led him downstairs.

"I'm a freak," Nick whispered once he knew it was just him and Brian in the room.

Brian looked up at Nick, well, Nick's back for a few seconds before getting up and walking in front of Nick. "No, no you are not a freak," he said, voice stern and honest. "Don't you ever say that."

"I am so..." Nick said tears coming to his eyes. He then sat up and wrapped his arms around his legs. "This isn't supposed to happen...I mean isn't it hard enough going through puberty as one sex...but having to do it as two...this is just nuts. One second my voice is gunna be changing and the next I'm being moody."

"But you can do it Nick," Brian stated. "I mean, girls go through this stuff all the time... who's to say that guys can't be just as strong at it..." He trailed off not knowing if he was making any sense. "I'm sorry Nick," he sighed. "But this is another thing that makes you who you are, makes you more unique... don't look at it as a bad thing..."

"Well...not like I'm gunna be getting pregnant anyways...I mean I would have to sleep with a guy." Nick said and then wondered if his girly hormones would make him want or NEED to have sex with a guy.

Brian smiled. "There you go," he said. "See, one less thing to worry about." He sat down next to Nick. He couldn't imagine what Nick must be going through nor could he imagine something like that happening to himself. He felt like he had no right to even be giving Nick advice in this matter because frankly, he knows nothing. "I wonder if you're gonna have to get those... things... the uh, tampons and stuff..." He thought out loud.

"Don't tampons like go up...inside?" Nick asked making a face at that.

Brian nodded. "Yeah, those things..." He chuckled at Nick's expression. "My girlfriend...ex girlfriend used to wear them... she said they were comfy, better than the pads." He shrugged.

"Yeah..." Nick said just grossed out about the whole thing all together. "I dunno if I can do those though...cuz like I don't have the same place to like...uhh...stick it up."

"Well, the doctor said... the rectum... and uh...yeah, I don't know either," Brian said shaking his head, trying not to think about it.

"I guess I'll wait and see what he's talking to my parents about." Nick said with a sigh. This was going to be really hard, but he was going to have to deal with it. "I don't want anybody else to know though...you can't tell anybody not even the rest of the guys, okay?"

"But..." Brian said blinking. "They need to know Nick... just in case..."

Nick shook his head, "I don't want them to...please Brian." he said begging Brian with his eyes.

Brian rubbed his hands over his face. "Okay, okay," he sighed. "I promise."

CHAPTER TWO

2000

"Briiiian," Nick whined as he flopped down onto his best friend's hotel room bed. They were all in LA for a few Christmas talk shows and most of all to go to the annual Jive Christmas party.

It was 8 years after Nick found out what was going on and everything was going as smooth as possible. The Backstreet Boys were a total success overseas and in the US. The rest of the guys found out only months after Nick found out so thankfully the only people he had to hide his little secret from were the media and the fans. All those people who cared about him knew and all loved him just the same.

Brian walked out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist, his hair sticking up in all directions because of the shower he just took. "You know, you have your own hotel room....one that you complained about not having for all those years... and now that you do, you don't use it... “He teased.

"It's just so lonely in there," Nick said with a cute pout as he tried to take in Brian's almost naked form...without his friend knowing. He had been having this well burning… need...the last week or so that he just couldn't shake.

"Uh huh," Brian said distracted as he fished through his luggage for clothes. He stood there, still dripping wet from the shower wondering what to wear. He looked over at Nick and did a double take when he thought he had noticed Nick looking at his mid-section. Shaking his head, he concluded he must be imagining things. "Don't tell me you're wearing THAT to the interviews?" Brian asked indicating the shorts and an extra-baggy white t-shirt Nick was wearing.

"I don't really feel like getting dressed up today. I feel all frumpy." Nick stated as he sat up and looked at his clothes. "Plus I forgot to do my laundry and these are the only things that are clean that fit."

"I don't really feel like getting dressed up today. I feel all frumpy." Nick stated as he sat up and looked at his clothes. "Plus I forgot to do my laundry and these are the only things that are clean that fit."

"Frumpy?" Brian questioned. Nick had been spitting out non-existent words for the past couple of days and he found it amusing. "Borrow Kevin's, you guys are about the same height."

"Yeah but he doesn't have my stomach," Nick said with a whine patting a slightly pudgy tummy. "The stuff the doctor had me on to make my cramps lessen has made me gain weight." he whines.

Brian rolled his eyes. "Nick... don't start that nonsense again, okay?"

Nick glared at Brian as he sat up on the bed. "You wouldn't call it nonsense if it as happening to you!" he spat. "You've still got the same perfect body you've had for years!"

Brian sighed. This was the first time they've argued about it and every time there was always some other reason behind Nick's whining. He walked over and sat down beside Nick. "Okay, what's really the problem here?"

“Nothing," Nick said because quite frankly he didn't know what was going on. He just felt on edge and testy...and it wasn't like it was that time of the month or anything.

"Nothing?" There was disbelief in his voice. "Don't give me that... something's the matter, I think I know you well enough to know when something's bothering you."

Nick sighed, "I don't know what's bothering me. I just feel all weird...and I don't mean my normal weird feelings." he said knowing Brian would chock that up to PMS or something.

Brian thought about this. "Well," he said patting Nick's lap. "Don't know what to tell ya Frack." He got up and went about getting ready. "Except that you should change into something more... interview respectable... or else you will have Kevin to deal with."

"Yeah, yeah," Nick grumbled and left the room to change his clothes.

Twenty minutes later they were all waiting downstairs to for their ride to the Leno show. Nick was now dressed in nice jeans, dress shirt and suit coat.

"I don't get why drivers have to be so damn late all the time,” Kevin grumbled as he looked around to make sure everybody was there for when the guy finally came.

"Not exactly our problem to worry about," AJ said with a shrug as he took a long drag from his cigarette. "I mean, management is the one's that deal with all this."

"Besides, there's traffic... we can't control that," Howie said, dusting off invisible lint from his jacket.

"Yeah you try driving around in LA and see how fast you go." Nick stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What's up his ass?" Kevin whispered to his cousin as he eyed Nick.

"Normally I would say PMS," Brian whispered back. "But it's not that time of the month... he's just feeling 'frumpy'!"

"Frumpy?" Kevin asked with a raised eyebrow. It was then he noticed something. Nick was standing off to the side totally eying the door man; more specifically eyeing his ass. "Umm...I think I know what's wrong."

"Hmm? Do share," Brian said wondering what was taking their driver so long.

"He's horny," Kevin simply stated not really elaborating on that since he forgot that Nick had been out the night before with these twin blonde girls they had all met at a club.

Brian blinked up at his cousin. That was a well known fact. "Okay... and how is that something new?"

Kevin laughed, "I don't mean for people like the blonde bimbos from last night...I mean...look," he said nodding towards Nick who was still staring at the doorman's ass.

Brian looked and looked again before doing a double take. "Well, I'll be..." He trailed off before something dawned on him. "Oh no, no, no... NO!" He got scared. "He can't…and he shouldn't..." He's likely to get pregnant was the one thing that ran through his mind, he didn't think much about top or bottom, but still.

"It's not like he's gay or something," Kevin pointed out still whispering. "Isn't like his nature to want that? I mean he's got female hormones, the doctors even said they are more prominent then his male ones..."

"What are you two talking about?" Howie asked as he walked over to the whispering cousins.

"Yeah, share," AJ draped his arm around Brian. "If it's gossip, definitely share."

Brian sighed. "Still... precautions, cuz... you wanna take the risk of having a pregnant Nick compared to the one we have now?" Nick now was a handful, Nick pregnant... ha.

"Pregnant Nick?" Howie asked confused. "Doesn't that mean he's gotta like have sex with a guy?"

"Okay, too much..." AJ said backing off just a little bit. "But for some reason I've been getting that vibe from him... he's a horn dog and girls aren't cutting it for him." He leaned in closer as if to say something top secret. "And he's been eyeing us, man... no joke!"

Brian snorted. AJ was always full of it, a wise smart mouth joker he was. "Yea, funny..."

"I think AJ is telling the truth," Kevin said having noticed things too...and the main focus was on his cousin, "Especially you Bri."

The smile on Brian's face quickly faded. Okay, so earlier in his hotel room wasn't his imagination. "Nah... He couldn't...wouldn't... we're like brothers... that's wrong!" He became quiet as he turned helpless eyes to his band mates. "Right..?"

"Think what you may," AJ said looking at his fingernails. "But he's got a thing for you... been a while too..."

"And none of you told me?" He asked, confused

"We hoped it would go away...you know with all the crazy blonde's he's been doing recently." Howie explained but quickly stopped talking because Nick was walking in their direction.

"Guys the driver is here," Nick said as he eyed all of them weird. Was it just his imagination or did they all stop talking when he walked over to them?

"The who..." Brian trailed off when he spotted the car. "Oh, yeah... about time!" He blushed as he quickly made a dash for the car, a bit self conscious of himself.

"Well... damn," AJ said watching Brian take off. "I wonder where he's off in a hurry to." He looked over at Nick and gave him a big smile. "So, Nickers, what's cooking?:

"Nothing..." Nick stated eyeing AJ weird wondering why he was smirking at him like that. "Am I missing something?"

"Come on guys let's go." Kevin said as he headed out the door and to the car.

"I still can't believe we got Leno on Christmas Eve..." he said trying to keep a conversation going.

"I'll say," Brian said from within the car. "You'd think he'd have Patti LaBelle or somebody."

AJ snorted as he got comfortable in his seat. "Come on, you know Jive pulled strings..."

"We're singing Christmas Time, right?" Howie questioned in thought. He'd lost track of which interviews were the ones they were doing an acapella in and which ones they weren't. They had been practically booked solid all week but today was the last interview before they were on their little Christmas break.

"Yeah we are," Kevin said answering Howie's question.

Nick took a seat next to Brian, not realizing his best friend might be uncomfortable with him there. The thing was he didn't realize what he was doing or where his desires lay right now. He didn't like men...or so he though.

The conversations ceased as they all rode in silence towards the studio and it wasn't long after that they passed through make up and were brought up on stage for the interview. Jay Leno was a funny guy but stick Jay with AJ and you get something entirely different that had everyone laughing till they were on the floor. They performed Christmas Time without a hitch and finished off their interview. Back to the hotel they went, all psyched and pumped with energy.

"Okay so we've got like an hour until we've gotta be leaving for the party." Kevin explained in his normal directive fashion but he was also hyper and ready for a good party.

"I have so got to go put on my new leather pants." Howie exclaimed rushing down to his room.

AJ just smirked. "And my outfit is off the rockers, I tell ya," he bounded off towards his room. "See you guys in forty!"

"Am I the only one not really getting all the dressed up for tonight?" Brian wondered out loud.

"I don't have anything to wear," Nick stated but then stopped because it seemed Brian was mad at him or something. Ever since he had left his room earlier he had been acting funny?

"You always have something to wear," Brian said as he dug into his pockets for his keycard. "And you always say you don't...how much you wana bet that you have a nice pair of clothes that you miraculously managed not to touch in the past few days?"

"Help me find something?" Nick asked giving Brian his cute puppy dog look.

Brian couldn't help but smile at Nick. "You know that doesn't work on me," he said as he opened the door to his room and entered.

Nick sighed, "Brian will you please help me find something when you're doing getting dressed?" he asked honestly wanting to help has he followed Brian into his room.

"Oh, alright," Brian said with a nod of his head as he walked out of his room and nudged Nick over to his. "Let's find Prince Nick a fabulous get up for tonight's Christmas ball"

Nick laughed as they walked into his room and then over this his overflowing bags. "I'm no sure what's in here." he said looking down at it.

"Neither am I but hopefully nothing that would like to eat us," Brian said warily as he rummaged through Nick's belongings. A box of Nick's 'tampons' fell out and Brian blushed a bit but continued to ignore that little bit as he looked through the clothes. "Aha!" he pulled out a neatly folded pristine sapphire blue button down shirt. "Look, a nice shirt and..." he trailed off till he found a black sleeveless undershirt, "...something to wear underneath." Brian handed Nick his clothes. "All you need is a pair of black dress pants, and you're good to go..."

"They aren't too wrinkled?" Nick asked as he looked at the shirts in his hands. He then spotted a pair of black pants when Brian was putting some stuff back. "There are pants..."

"Our bathrooms have an iron box in it," Brian pointed out. "And oh, yeah... pants... here..." He handed them over to Nick. "See," he gave Nick a big smile. "You've got your outfit ready."

"Thanks Bri," Nick said as he headed for the bathroom to iron his clothes and then get dressed. When he was done he found Brian was gone so he headed over into his room. It felt like déjà vu because once again he took a seat on Brian's bed while Brian was in the bathroom.

But this time, Brian walked out of the bathroom, dressed to the T. He had his hair spiked, a gray button down shirt with a white undershirt, and black dress pants. "Hey," he said as he spotted Nick on his bed. "Looking sharp," He headed over to the dresser and put on a belt, some cologne, and grabbed some socks. Plopping down besides Nick he put his socks on and then his shoes.

Just the smell of Brain's cologne had Nick swooning as did the feeling of his body heat right up next to him. The combination of the two had another reaction starting below the belt. 'What the fuck?' he screamed at himself in his head.

Brian leaned over and looked down at Nick. "Everything okay?" He questioned when Nick's expression was vacant. "Anybody, home?" He whistled as he waved his hand in front of Nick's face. he then smirked as he dove in with his fingers right at Nick's ribcage. Tickling was the only way he could get Nick's attention.

"Brian nooo!" Nick shrieked as Brian started tickling him. He HATED being tickled but right now he hated something even worse. The way Brian was practically on top of him was turning him on to no end and if Brian didn't stop he as going to have to change his pants before they went out.

The laughter died soon in Brian when he felt something he shouldn't have felt from a guy. He quickly but not to cause too much attention pulled away from Nick. "Sorry, didn't mean to wrinkle your clothes," he said as he cleared his throat and then laughed at Nick's flushed face and expression. "Come on before Kevin comes knocking the door down." He got up and grabbed his black jacket, ready to go.

"Uhh...yeah," Nick said and then sighed. "Brian...sorry..." he said knowing Brian had felt something he shouldn't have...what bugged him more is he didn't get that. He was NOT gay...he really liked girls...liked them a lot!

Brian nodded his head before shrugging. "It's fine, don't worry about it," he said with a smile to show that no harm was done. "It's your hormones, I get it..."

Nick simply nodded his head as he followed Brian out the door. He wasn't exactly excited anymore about his party. He felt really WEIRD and needed to talk to somebody about this...but it didn't seem like Brian did. They were taking separate cars because they couldn't all fit into the one so Nick made sure to get in a car with AJ, thinking he would be the best to talk to about this.

"So," AJ said staring at Nick a bit surprised. "You and Bri get into a fight or something?"

Nick shook his head, "Nah...I just… wanted to talk to you."

"Oh," AJ smiled. "Talk away then...With what could I corrupt your innocent mind with?"

Nick laughed a little, "Well...I umm..." he wasn't sure how to say what he needed to.

"It's always best to just spill it," AJ suggested.

"I think...my..." Nick sighed. "I think my woman hormones are taking over...I'm getting turned on by things... I normally don't..."

"Guys..." AJ supplied for Nick. "And the problem here... is?"

Nick made a face, "No offence Aje...but I just...I'm not like that...like you."

"But you find yourself checking guys out?" AJ questioned, not taking any offense at all.

"Yeah..." Nick said shifting in his seat because he was even finding himself attracted to AJ right now. It was like his body was craving...well penetration...he could feel this intense need deep in his core.

"Then we have a problem," AJ simply said. "You don't like guys but you wanna be with one or at least try it out... hate to say it Nick but your in a dilemma here."

"It's like my body..." Nick paused he didn't want to say what he had just been thinking about penetration. That just sounded so weird!

"With the hormones and all?" AJ tried to understand. "I get it... so what... you wanna try it with a guy but you're not interested in them... Look Nick, normally I would say go for it, check it out, and see if you like being with a guy or not. But... your situation isn't all that... normal... you could get pregnant... and that there is a big risk...."

"I know that!" Nick exclaimed and then groaned. "Aje... I feel like I'm going to go insane...and jerking off isn't going to cut it...I need...well you know." he said blushing a little.

"Sounds like you've got your mind set," AJ noticed. "What are you going to do about it?"

Nick laughed, "I have no idea."

AJ laughed too. "You just wanna get fucked, pardon my French...."

"More then anything!" Nick exclaimed with a groan as he put a hand over his face.

"Hmm," AJ thought. He wanted to ask who Nick had in mind but decided to go against it. "Condoms... use them."

"Of course...always do," Nick said knowing he had the fear of getting girls pregnant when he was with them...even though it was a slim chance because his testosterone levels were lower then most men.

"Well, then, okay," AJ said patting Nick's shoulder, "Anything else?"

"I think I freaked Brian out,” Nick said blushing.

"How?" AJ looked at him, amused. "Don't tell me you hit on him or something?"

"Not really..." Nick said. "He started tickling me...and I like got hard."

AJ busted up laughing at that. "Please tell me you got that on tape," he said. "But seriously though... you like him?"

"Not really...I mean." Nick laughed nervously. "I'm fucking turned on right now and I don't like YOU like that...but you're turning me on. I think it's the fact that you have a dick." he laughed.

AJ laughed. "Good to know I'm good for something, thanks Nick," he shook his head. "And T.M.I. bro..."

Nick rolled his eyes and laughed more. But then he felt the car stopping and sighed. "This is going to be an interesting party. I plan to get smashed and forget all of this shit."

"Yeah, but no more blonde bimbos, okay?" AJ said getting out of the car. "At least none that are that loud...."

"I make no guarantees," Nick laughed as they headed inside. Nick made a beeline for the bar loving his celebrity status because it got home drinks a month before his 21st birthday.

Kevin caught AJ knowing something was going on. "Aje...is he going to be okay?" he asked meaning did they need to keep an eye on him.

"He wants to get fucked," AJ said watching Nick head for the bar. He liked where the kids head was, he was thinking about heading there himself. "You tell me, Kev..."

"Who wants to what?" Brian questioned coming up behind them, he could barely hear anything over the fans outside and loud music inside.

"Nick wants to get fucked," Kevin repeated so Brian could hear. "I think you both should try and watch him...make sure he doesn't get wrapped up with somebody that could hurt him. He's an adult so I don't think we can really keep him from this getting fucked stuff." he said not sounding too shocked with what AJ said.

Brian stood there with his mouth hanging open and couldn't really believe that neither Kevin nor AJ, well, mostly Kevin, was taking it lightly. "And what are you going to do?" He asked. "And Nick drinking exactly isn't the best thing at the moment if his intentions, as you so colorfully put, is to get effed!"

"Do you want to go over there and tell him to stop?" Kevin asked with a raised eyebrow knowing that wouldn't go ever well.

"Yeah...and he's a bear to live with when he's horny as hell like he is now." Howie pointed out showing he had come into the conversation a few minutes ago and knew what was going on.

Brian narrowed his eyes. "But..." He looked at the guys helplessly before sighing. "Whatever, Merry Christmas," he muttered under his breath. "If anything happens... you guys are responsible," he warned.

"You try talking to him Bri!" Howie called out feeling bad but he honestly didn't have the rapport built with Nick to talk to him about this kind of thing.

Meanwhile Nick was already on his second shot of...well he wasn't sure what it was...but it was damn good.

Brian saddled up to the bar and plopped down beside Nick. "You might wanna slow down there bub," he said in a friendly manner. "There is no use in getting wasted before you enjoy the party."

Nick looked over at Brian and shrugged, "I would rather get smashed then do much else actually."

"Don't you want to dance with people, mingle... that sorta thing?" Brian questioned, indicating the few girls that were already eyeing them.

"Not really," Nick said because that wasn't what he was looking for tonight. Those girls wouldn't do anything for him and dancing it up with them would just be leading them on.

"So, you're gonna get drunk?" Brian questioned.

Nick shrugged again, "I guess so." he said feeling a little awkward around Brain.

"Alright, suit yourself," Brian said as he got up. "I'm gonna go say hi to a few people."

"Bye...have fun." Nick said before asking the bartender for another drink. While he was waiting for it he started looking around to see who all was there.

"Who's got your eye?" A voice said from beside Nick.

"Nobody really," Nick responded not turning to see who was talking to him.

"Then why are you staring at the crowd so intently?"

Nick shrugged, "Dunno." he said before picking up his new drink.

"I hate these parties," came the next statement. "They are always a drag until you're filled with some booze, then things get interesting. Don't you agree?"

Nick finally turned and smiled when he saw Justin Timberlake standing here. He and Justin had been pretty good friends back when they were younger but things had gotten kinda tense when they both were the young cute blondes on rivaling boy bands. "I totally agree with you." he then turned to the bartender. "Another one for my friend here." he said getting Justin a drink.

"Thanks," Justin smiled and grabbed a seat beside Nick. 'How've you been since the last time we saw each other... Oh, and must say... cool album, congrats."

"You too man," Nick said trying to shake the fact that he found the curly blonde next to him BEYOND attractive and his body wasn't behaving itself. It also didn't help that he had heard rumors that Justin liked to experiment with different things a lot like AJ did.

When the bartender placed his drink in front of him be took a gulp of it. It wasn't the first or the fifth one he'd had that night. "You're awfully unlike yourself..." He noted from observing Nick from previous parties they'd both attended.

"What do you mean?" Nick asked automatically getting defensive.

"I mean, usually you're out there," Justin indicated the dance floor.

"Oh," Nick said and then nodded. "I guess I'm not really feeling up to dancing with a bunch of bimbo's tonight.' he said honestly the alcohol beginning to take its toll.

Justin chuckled. "Two was too much for you last night?" He questioned, showing that he knew stuff about Nick, that's he'd been keeping up on his press.

Nick laughed at that, "A guy can only take that kind of woman so much." he said not realizing it was odd Justin knew that about him.

Justin smiled into his drink before downing the whole thing. And that little bit hit the home run. Taking in a deep breath he swirled around in his seat so that he was facing the crowd. He didn't know what to say to that so he just kept quiet and took in the sight of people dancing together.

"Plus...I just haven't found the right dance partner tonight." Nick said looking pointedly at Justin from the corner of his eyes. He had NO idea why he was doing it but he was flirting with the younger man.

"Oh?" Justin asked, cocking his head to the side and looking at Nick with a lazy smirk. "And just what kinda dance partner you looking for?"

Nick didn't answer in words; instead he got up off his stool and headed for the floor. Before he got there though he turned and looked back at Justin. "You coming?"

At first Justin didn't understand why Nick had just gotten up and left but now he did. With a smile, he got up himself and followed Nick into the middle of the dance floor. The second that they were there though, Justin pulled Nick close to his body, one hand on Nick's hip while the other dangled by the side. "I didn't know you swung this way," Justin whispered in Nick's ear.

"Me neither," Nick whispered back almost too quietly even for Justin to hear it. He knew THIS was going to be all over the Jive gossip chain by morning but right now he didn't care. He was thankful though that normally what happened at these parties stayed with the people there or just went to other celebrities. That meant it wouldn't be plastered all over tabloid magazines. Sighing contently, Nick wrapped his own arms around Justin and danced. It was a slow song so even though it wasn't really his point of the night…it was a nice feeling to almost feel cared for but the man who was holding him close.

Brian grabbed his coke on the rocks drink and leaned against the bar. He was spotted JC and Joey from NSYNC a few feet away from him, shocked expressions on their faces. Curious he followed their gaze and nearly choked on his drink. Nick. Justin. Together. Dancing. And it seemed that he wasn't the only one who'd noticed.

"Well, will you look at that," AJ whistled sliding up beside Brian, Howie right behind him. "Looks like Junior's happy."

"They seem just as shocked as Kevin," Howie pointed to JC and Joey.

"I'm trying to figure out if this is a good thing or not," Kevin said watching what was going on. He then looked to JC and Joey hoping to hear that their baby brother was safe with the NSYNC baby brother.

JC chose not to say anything instead he took a chug of his drink. But Joey looked at Kevin and shrugged. "Justin's Justin," he said. "It's not a bad thing...but Justin isn't looking for a relationship."

"I don't think Nick is either," Howie said thinking even though it was sad that this might be the best situation. But deep down he was still worried for Nick. There were things that could happen that wouldn't normally happen.

Meanwhile on the dance floor the song was speeding up and so were Nick and Justin. Now instead of the nice slow dancing they were grinding up on each other to a dance remix version of some older song.

Justin licked his lips and inhaled Nick's scent.

Nick could feel himself getting turned on but this time he was too far gone with the amount of alcohol in his system so he didn't even care.

Justin snuck his hand under Nick's shirt so that his hand was resting on Nick's warm soft skin. "Hmmm," he hummed happily.

It was beginning to get obvious to those people that were watching that this was going to turn into something more. Either Nick was going to be spending the night at Justin's place or visa versa.

"Well our little Nick is going to be known for dancing it up and leaving with Justin Timberlake now." Kevin said not so sure what he thought of that. He knew it would be almost impossible for Nick to have stayed straight because of his hormones...but to actually see it was a little weird.

"Hopefully, they have brains enough to not do this kinda stuff in public," AJ said, frowning.

"Don't worry," JC said finishing his drink. "Justin's done this plenty of times. You're boy is safe."

Joey nodded in confirmation. "Yo, am I seeing what I am seeing?" Chris jogged up to the fellas.

"Yup," Howie said.

"Why does that not make me feel very good?" Kevin asked hearing JC saying Justin has done this plenty of times. The idea that their boy was with this playboy player kind of bothered him a little.

"He'll be fine Kev...it's not like our Nicky is a blushing virgin or something. He's been doing this kind of thing for years." AJ pointed out.

Brian cleared his throat and gave AJ a pointed look. "But Nick is... Nick," he stressed. "And if Nick wasn't Nick then none of us would have this problem but since he isn't Nick we do."

"Okay, did any of get that or am I the only one that didn't?" Chris asked looking at everyone confused at what Brian said.

JC eyed his empty glass. "I'm not exactly sober," he said with a firm nod, "Yup."

"Don't worry about it," Kevin laughed knowing it was the point that they didn't get it. It was then he noticed something. "They're moving..." he said not sure if that meant they were going to leave...or if they were going to get a drink or what.

The latter was right since the songs were slowing down again Nick and Justin had headed back to the bar for some more drinks.

"This is high class entertainment," Joey said parking himself on the seat. "All I need is popcorn."

"And me doing the commentaries," Chris smiled. "Are they or aren't they?" He held a make believe microphone. "Whaya say Kevvy?"

AJ and Howie exchanged looks before stifling their smiles.

"I say we should go find our own people to dance with and let them be." Kevin said before turning to go. Yeah, he wanted to look after his 'brother' but he also knew spying wasn't okay either.

On the other side of the room Nick handed Justin another drink. "These are...too good." he said his voice slurring a bit.

"I'll say," Justin finished his glass and moved right next to Nick, literally. His arm was circling Nick's waist, the other supporting himself on the counter top of the bar. His thumb caressed Nick's soft skin under the shirt. "Can I get one more," he called to the bartender.

"Make that two," Nick called out after Justin. If Justin was going to be plastered then so was he.

"So, where you guys staying?" Justin asked,

"The Hilton," Nick replied before drinking the last of the drink he still had.

"Hmm," Justin smiled. "I just got a place out here you should drop by sometime." His voice dropped lower when he said the word 'sometime.'

Nick bit his lower lip before saying. "Anytime?" he asked thinking right NOW sounded perfect.

Justin nodded his head. "Well, whenever I'm home that is," he chuckled. "Cuz it would suck if you dropped by and I wasn't there."

Nick laughed at that too, "Yeah that would suck." He said and then gave Justin a longing look, hoping he would see it as 'take me home...tonight.'

Justin smiled to himself, he got the look but he just wanted to see what Nick would do if he played dumb. Once the bartender placed their drinks down he grabbed his glass and slightly tipped it towards Nick in a cheers manner.

"Cheers," Nick said not sure what to think of Justin's reaction but he didn't say anything. Instead he simply took a sip of his drink.

"So," Justin said, linking his fingers with Nick's so that they were holding hands. "When did you realize you liked guys?"

Nick wasn't really going to say 'I don't' because that wouldn't make much sense so he lied...sort of. "I've kinda been thinking it since I was like 12."

"And you're 20 now... “Justin said, some where in his boozed mind he knew that was a long time to be thinking about something.”That's a long time... been with guys before?"

"I um..." Nick didn't really want to say 'no' but he couldn't really lie since they might end up together by the end of the night and then it would be obvious. "No...I haven't." he slurred.

Justin finished his drink. "Well, then, I guess we gotta change that now don't we," he purred in Nick's ear as he took his hand and tugged him towards the back exit.

Nick's heart was pounding a mile a minute as Justin took him towards the exit. He couldn't believe he was about to do this...and with JUSTIN.

The cool night breeze was refreshing as Justin called a cab but as they waited out back he had Nick up against the wall, kissing his neck, his body pressed up against his. "You know something Nick, you look real good tonight," he said between kisses.

"You...do...too," Nick said between moans. He had never been kissed like this, nor had he ever felt this horny in his life. His own hands were resting on Justin's ass, pushing their bodies even closer together.

It wasn't long before the cab arrived and the ride to Justin's house, them behaving themselves was torturous and long, but when they were finally safe within his walls Justin had Nick up against the back of the door, showering him with kisses. For some reason, he liked kissing Nick, a lot. "The tour of the house is gonna have to wait," he said. "I hope you don't mind." He ripped open Nick's blue shirt, the buttons flying everywhere, and lifted up the black under shirt so he could placing kisses on Nick's chest.

"Not...at all...oh God," Nick moaned as Justin attacked him with kisses all over. The man had the best mouth and Nick had a feeling he would be driving mad before the night was through.

Justin had yet to kiss Nick on the lips and that was something he normally refrained from doing with all his one night stands. But he was finding it hard to resist kissing those plush pink lips but he managed some how. he managed by kissing everything else that was Nick. "Come on," he tugged at Nick's belt as he walked backwards, seduction and a promise of something good to come in his eyes.

He led them up the stairs and into his bedroom.

Once in Justin's room, Nick couldn't help but strip off all the rest of his clothes. This wasn't meant to be romantic and all the booze in his system was making it impossible for him to go slow. He NEEDED Justin and ten hours ago would have been too late.

Justin chuckled at how quickly Nick got out of his clothes but then again he too was naked and waiting for Nick to join him on the bed. "What's taking you so long?" He asked arms folded behind his head as he watched Nick walk towards him.

"I don't have a fucking idea," Nick said before he was on the bed and lying down. He wanted Justin on top of him...actually it was more like he craved Justin on top of him.

Justin didn't think much of it as he rolled over on top of Nick. He was happy that he'd get to top Nick but a part of him wanted Nick to top him, he wanted to know what it would feel like to be with Nick. But at the moment he didn't care, his hormones were doing all the stuff now and he just wanted to get off good. "Hmmm," he kissed his way down to Nick's crotch before taking him in all the way, his finger gliding up Nick's chest to his mouth so that Nick could wet them.

Nick cried out in pleasure when Justin took him in his mouth. He was almost too wrapped up in the pleasure to understand what Justin wanted him to do with his fingers. Thankfully he did though and took them into his mouth sucking them till they were nice and wet.

Justin's dick throbbed at what Nick's tongue was doing to his fingers and soon enough he had those fingers placed at Nick's entrance, fingers circling the area. He vaguely noted that Nick was already wet and wondered when Nick got the chance to do that but pushing those thoughts aside he inserted his fingers, one by one until three of them were inside of Nick, slowly moving in and out, stretching him with each motion.

"Oh fucking god!" Nick cried out in pure pleasure. Sure, it hurt a little since he had never done this before but his body was so ready that it was more of a needing type of hurt then a real hurt.

Justin hummed around Nick's dick before letting him slip out of his mouth. He withdrew his fingers long enough to reach over Nick to his nightstand table, rummaged through the drawer for a condom, before ripping the packet open. "Do you wanna?" He asked giving the condom to Nick so he could roll it on while Justin pumped himself a few times.

Nick didn't respond with words just took the condom and rolled it onto Justin. Once it wa son he stroked him a few times before spreading his legs even more as an invitation.

Justin nearly melted at the sight of Nick spread out like that for him on his bed. "You might wanna get on all fours, won't hurt that much that way," he said offering some advice he'd learned himself.

"Okay," Nick replied as he got onto his hands and knees, his ass now sticking up ready for Justin.

Justin placed his hand on Nick's back while the other one grabbed his dick, positioning it at Nick's entrance as he slowly guided himself inside. He bit his lip in pure pleasure as the tight heat of Nick engulfed him. "Ooooh god!"

Nick's eyes closed shut tightly, it hurt...a lot more then Justin's fingers had. Thankfully though he knew it wasn't going to last very long so he just stuck it out knowing it was going to feel good...it just had to.

Once Justin was buried all the way inside, he hand both hands on Nick's hips as he got his positioning done before pulling out and pushing back in a bit hard. "You alright?" He asked wanting to make sure.

"Yes," Nick replied groaning from the pressure he felt when Justin pushed back in. Thankfully it was beginning to feel good so he knew he really was going to be okay.

"Good," was all Justin said as he began to quicken his pace, his body just wanted to ram into Nick but he wanted to prolong this as much as possible. It was torture, yes, but it felt so good.

It was only another minute before Nick was fully getting into this. Justin felt SO good inside of him that he was rocking back and meeting each of Justin's thrusts the best he could. His hands were gripping the headboard to keep from slamming into it.

"Damn, Nick," Justin moaned. "You have no idea how good you feel...so tight...so hot." He panted as he griped Nick's hips harder.

"Harder...oh fuck...harder!" Nick cried out as he tried to get Justin to move even harder then he was. He had never felt this good in his life and was beginning to wish he had done this sooner.

Justin grunted. "Here... better way, stop," he said as he held Nick's hips still. When he was he flipped Nick over so that Nick was on his back looking up at Nick and Justin was hovering over him. He thrust himself back into Nick hard that almost had Nick banging his head into the headboard but luckily he'd been holding onto it to prevent such a scene.

"OH YES!" Nick cried out tears coming to his eyes it felt so good. "Fuck me...oh god yes..." he moaned as his hips thrust up to meet Justin's thrusts once again. He could feel himself getting close to what was going to be the best orgasm of his life.

Justin complied with everything Nick was asking and gave it to him with a passion. And while at it he managed to get a hold of Nick's member and matched the strokes with his thrusts.

By this point Nick was going insane by sensory overload. His male side was being fucked senseless at the same time his female side having the same thing done to it. When he finally reached orgasm it would be from the inside and then the natural male response of cumming.

"Shit," Justin muttered as he was nearing his orgasm. He sped his pace a bit more and groaned out in pleasure when it hit him. An automatic reaction was for his hand on Nick's member to tighten a bit.

Feeling Justin's orgasm wash through him and the way Justin tightened on his cock Nick was cumming hard into his hands, his ass clenching around Justin's cock. The words and the sounds that were coming out of Nick's mouth were loud and incoherent.

When it was finished Justin could barely open his eyes much less manage to stay up. With a sigh he pulled out of Nick and flopped down beside him on the bed, completely and fully sated. He lay there, catching his breath as his heart rate leveled out to something that would be normal.

Nick hadn't been able to handle the double orgasms and had actually passed out next to Justin. His breathing was fine so it made it look like he had just fallen asleep.

After a few minutes Justin opened his eyes and lifted his head enough to sneak a peak at Nick. He laughed at the fact that Nick had fallen asleep already but that little bit fed his ego. I'm good, he mentally told himself. Real good. With whatever energy he had left in him he removed the condom and wrapped it in a tissue paper he grabbed from the nightstand and threw it on the floor. He failed to notice that the condom wasn't holding much of his seed in it, matter of fact; it wasn't holding much of anything in it.

CHAPTER THREE

"Fuck," Nick exclaimed to himself as he looked down at the strip in front of him. "This SO can't be happening." he said setting the pregnancy test down next to all 9 of the others. He had been here taking test after test for almost two hours and every single one said the same thing...pregnant.

AJ knocked on the door before ringing the door bell. And he continued to ring the doorbell, getting impatient. "Nick, man... I know you're in there... you promised we'd go shopping today!" He yelled out wondering what was taking Nick so long.

Nick was so deep in thought that he didn't even hear the doorbell ringing. He knew the guys were going to kill him.

AJ sighed as he grabbed his cell phone and called Nick's cell while at the same time continuing to ring the door bell and pound on the door. Nick had better not be lazing out today of all days much less too tired because he had a late night... if either or both were the case, Nick was getting a piece of his mind.

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket shook Nick out of his thoughts as he answered it. "Hello?" he asked seeming out of it still.

"Hello? That's all I get is a hello?" AJ questioned, hand on hip and staring at Nick's front door. "Did you not hear the pounding on your door or your door bell ringing for the past 10 minutes?"

Nick cursed and sighed, "Sorry Aje...I'll be down in a second." he said before hanging up the phone and running down stairs. He opened the door to an exasperated AJ.

"Bout time," AJ said making his way inside and looking around. "Well, where is she... or he?" He asked, thinking the reason Nick took so long was because he was with someone. "And I hope you didn't forget your promise to me..." He practically pouted.

"Where is who?" Nick asked looking at AJ totally confused.

"Whoever it was that was keeping you," AJ said as if stating the obvious.

Nick laughed a little and shook his head, "I wasn't with anybody...I was just...umm stuck in thought." he said as he grabbed his coat. "Now come on...aren't we going shopping or something?"

AJ sighed. "Yeah," he said as he followed Nick but not without giving Nick's place another once over. Something was up, seriously. "And shopping... you promised me shopping. But we need to stop by your mom's or something; Brian called and said he left his jacket or something?" He looked over at Nick confused. "And that BJ had something for him."

"I'm sure she does," Nick laughed rolling his eyes. "That sister of mine still has sex dreams about Brian I swear."

AJ laughed, "Okay, didn't need to know but okay..." They got into his car and headed over to Nick's parents house.

Nick as silent the whole way thinking about how in the world he was going to tell his family about being pregnant. Sure, he hadn't' gone to the doctor yet but had a feeling after 10 pregnancy tests he must be.

AJ had tried small talk with Nick but failed miserably and after fifteen minutes he had gaven up. When they got to Nick's parents home they got out of the car and headed towards the front door. "Everything alright?" He asked, once again before they got inside. All jokes aside, AJ was serious and hoped Nick would take him seriously. He got the feeling something was wrong, really wrong.

Nick nodded his head, "Yeah everything is fine." he said with the bet smile he could manage.

AJ sighed and rang the door bell. After the second time he sighed. 'What the hell is up with you and your family today... does no one answer door bells or knocks or something?" He questioned, frowning. "Got your keys?"

"Yeah," Nick said as he took his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. Once he stepped inside though he as taken back as everybody jumped out yelling

"SUPRISE!"

"What the fuck?" Was Nick's first reaction to being scared to death when he wasn't feeling very party-ish.

"Um, surprise," Brian said with a laugh as he walked over to Nick.

"And such language," Bob laughed.

"Uhh...yeah what a shock," Nick said looking around at the rest of the group and his family.

BJ laughed at her brother, "My gosh you don't sound very thrilled bro."

"Cheer up," AJ said patting Nick on the back. "You're finally 21... Nothing can get better than this!"

Nick laughed bitterly. He was finally 21...at the top of his career but his life was about to end.

Jane noticed her son was acting funny. "Nick is everything okay?"

Brian looked at Nick as did the rest of the guys and his siblings.

"Actually no," Nick said and then put a weird smirk on his face. "I'm pregnant...SURPRISE!" he said with a laugh thinking he might as well surprise them too.

Jane laughed and shook her head. "Good one honey...now come on its present time."

All the guys laughed but the laughter died fast and hard. "Uhhh," Brian said, narrowing his eyes as he took in Nick. "I don't think he's joking," He paled.

"Of course, he is," Bob said, semi-laughing, "Right son?"

"Uh ohhhhh," AJ chimed in, shaking his head.

"Actually I'm not...I'm pregnant." Nick said again this time there was no humor in his voice.

"Oh crap," Leslie said her eyes wide.

"Does this mean I get to be an uncle?" Aaron asked excitedly no realizing this wasn't really the best thing.

Howie flopped down onto the couch and Jane swooned but Bob caught her in time.

"Please, tell us you're joking, please?" Kevin practically begged. "Please?"

Tears were coming to Nick's eyes as he shook his head again. "I'm not joking guys...I took like 10 tests today." He turned to AJ. "That's what I was doing when you were knocking on my door a few minutes ago."

"Jesus," AJ exclaimed shaking his head in disbelief. He had no idea what this meant for the group but most of all he had no idea what this meant for Nick.

"Who..." Bob trailed off.

"Whoever it is, I'll kill him," Kevin went into big brother mode, right now all that mattered was his kid brother and his health.

"And you're certain?" BJ questioned, getting over the shock.

"Who's the father, Nick?" Howie asked in a soft voice.

"I'm not going to tell you if you guys are going to go do something stupid and hurt him." Nick stated glaring at Kevin. "Come on guys...this isn't really THAT bad...right?"

Kevin sighed. "Okay, I won't kill him, but still..." He said.

"Not that bad... but son... the group... I mean, you guys have finally hit it big in the States..." Bob trailed off. "But that's not important... you're only 20, sorry 21... a child, Nick?" He stopped talking, there was no point. His son was already pregnant and there was no return with this package, "Never mind."

"So..." Brian hoped Nick would fill them in on a few details, like.. who the father was.

"You guys all know who the father is," Nick stated knowing everybody knew he had slept with Justin on Christmas.

"How do we? You've kept yourself closed off about that kind of stuff recently." Kevin pointed out.

"We don't!" Leslie giggled trying to keep some humor going. "I mean you don't tell us ANYTHING!"

"Wait..." AJ held his hands up. "Wait a minute..." He looked at Nick incredulously. "Don't tell me... is it who I think it is..." He asked looking Nick in the eyes. "It's who I think it is, damn!" He ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head.

"Justin..." Brian trailed off.

"As in Timberlake?" Leslie and Angel squeaked in unison. "NO wayyyyy!" Angel said all excited.

"When did you have a chance to do that with Justin Timberlake?" Jane asked in disbelief. What bothered her was she knew Justin was known for being a playboy and sleeping around. The only thing is she didn't realize her son hadn't been much better with the different girls he was with.

"Christmas...the Jive party," Nick explained. "We danced...got drunk...and well ended up back at his place."

"How romantic," BJ frowned. "And now you're knocked up. Does he know?"

"I'm guessing, no," Howie said. "Since Nick just found out..."

"When you gonna tell him?" Leslie asked, curious. "I mean, he's in Canada right now probably getting ready to do an interview for some music station.”What?" She asked when everyone looked at her.

"Traitor," Howie replied to Leslie playfully.

Nick rolled his eyes, "You're right I haven't told him...and what makes you think I plan on telling him anyway?"

"Because, he has the right to know that he has a little one running around," Bob said, shocked that his son wasn't going to tell Justin.

"Put yourself in his shoes," Brian offered. "Wouldn't you want to know if you had a kid?"

Leslie turned on the TV and looked for the channel Justin was supposed to be on. There was still a few minutes before the show started.

"He is the father... um, he helped in the process of making that baby," Howie piped in.

"Yeah but how exactly do you say I tell him this?" nick asked with a raised eyebrow. "I mean I'm not supposed to get pregnant I'm a fucking guy!" he exclaimed.

"Nick watch your language." Kevin said not liking Nick's attitude. "We're all just trying to help you."

"And it's not like this whole guys getting pregnant thing is unknown... people know about it," Howie said.

"You got nothing to worry about in that department of things," Brian said.

"Besides, just tell him that something went wrong that night and here you are now, pregnant with his child. Get his reaction and go from there." AJ piped in.

"If he chooses not to have anything to do with the baby then... well, you know..." Brian frowned.

"You guys make it sound so damn simple but it's not," Nick said running a hand through his hair in a nervous fashion.

It was then Justin's voice came filtering through the room and everybody turned to watch the TV.

Justin laughed. "I'm actually dating at the moment," he nodded his head. "Not in a relationship, though. I'm still young, I don't want to settle down anytime soon...maybe in a few years but not now." He winked at the crowd in his flirtatious way and smiled when the girls screamed.

"So, the rumors of you getting engaged..." The interviewer asked.

"Are completely not true," Justin confirmed. "I've never been this happy in my life before. Everything is going great, family and friends are great, NSYNC is doing great. And hopefully my life stays at this point for a while and I owe it all to our fans."

"Next question is meant for all of you," the questionnaire continued.

"How do you feel about the rivalry between you and the Backstreet Boys?" At this point

Leslie muted the television. She bit her lips and looked at her brother.

"There's your answer guys," Nick simply stated before running up the stairs to his old room.

"Nick..." Kevin called after him and sighed, feeling awful for the younger man.

"Shit," Bob cursed under his breath.

After a few seconds Brian quietly left the room and headed up to Nick's room, a silent agreement between everybody that it was best he go and talk to Nick.

Nick as packing a few things that he still had at his parents house, shoving everything in an old duffle bag he had, had since he was a kid.

Brian knocked on the door before trying the knob which turned. Opening the door slowly he peaked his head inside. "Can I come in?" He questioned.

"Yeah," Nick simply replied.

"What are you doing?" Brian questioned as he watched Nick pack things. He walked over to the bed and stood by it.

Nick sighed, "I'm leaving...maybe go back to Jamestown for a while or something. I just can't be here right now. I would be in the spotlight every second and I can't have that."

"Wait, what?" Brian questioned, utterly lost. "Leaving?"

"Yeah...leaving," Nick said with a nod. "I need to go away for a while."

"Nick, you can't just pack up and leave," Brian said making a motion to stop Nick from packing more things. "Stop... just stop for second, please? You need to think about this..." He grabbed Nick's hands to keep him in place.

Nick jerked his hands away and looked at Brian. "You heard my family...they are distressed with me...I can't do anything group related when I look like a beached whale. I'm not doing anybody a favor being here."

"NICK!" Brian said, shocked. "You just sprung this on us, we need time to think about things...come on, be reasonable here. You can't leave here, who's gonna take care of you in Jamestown? You've never done this whole pregnant thing before...and there's no way we're letting you go through it alone."

"My grandparents are still there." Nick pointed out. "I'll stay with them and they an help me."

Brian sighed. "Grandparents, Nick? You don't want your friends or your parents or siblings with you?" He shook his head and then sighed, hurt. "Alright." With that he walked out of the room and headed back downstairs to let Nick finish packing in peace and to also inform everyone what Nick's intentions are.

The next day Nick stood outside his house with the few bags he was going to take with him. The guys and his family were there but they weren't please. "Come on guys...cheer up...I'm not bringing that much stuff so you know I'll be back."

"We wish you would stay." Jane whispered hugging her son tears falling down her cheeks.

Bob hugged both his wife and his son. "If there is anything... you know where to reach us... and don't be surprised if we show up for visits..."

"Yeah," Leslie said.

"I'm going with him," BJ said, matter of fact. She had a bag of clothes she already packed.

Nick laughed going to his sister. "No you're not...you've got school and all those cute guys you talk about in your classes." he teased his sister. "You've only one a few months left anyways."

BJ protested but in the end she yielded. "Fine, but I'm not happy about it!" She pouted.

"I'll be back guys," Nick said to everybody who was standing around.

Kevin gave Nick a big hug, "You better call and we're ALL going to be there when you push the little critter out.

Nick rolled his eyes playfully but nodded his head. He then went to AJ and Howie and gave each of them goodbye hugs. The hardest person was left to come though as he walked over to Brian. "Bri...I'll be back." he told his best friend who was still acting pissed at him.

"Yeah, I know... that's not what I'm worried about," Brian said with a sigh. He gave Nick a hug. "Have a safe flight and take care."

"I'll call all of you when I get there." Nick said pulling back from the hug and going to the cab that was waiting for him. "I love all of you."

Jane was crying on her husband's shoulders as the door closed and the cab drove off.

"He'll be back...he's gotta," Aaron replied with a nod of his head.

"Yeah he's Nick...he always keeps his promises." Angel added to all the melancholy adults in the group.

"Well, that was some 21st birthday," AJ said clapping his hands and then rubbing them together. "I bet you, no one can top that one!"

"I sure hope not," Howie said with a sigh. "Come on guys let's go makes sure he turned everything off." he said heading back into Nick's house.

A few hours later they all received a conference phone call from Nick telling them that he'd arrived safely and was about to have dinner with his grandparents.

Nick spent the whole nine months in Jamestown living with Bob's parents. He kept in touch with the guys and his parents with weekly phone calls and updates about his progress. His relationship with Brian stayed stressed though even though things with the rest of the guys were going alright. The thing Nick didn't tell anybody was how bored he was or how much he wanted to come home and see his friends.

Everybody made at least a few stops in to see him but it wasn't enough. Being pregnant and alone wasn't the best mixture but then he would see Justin on the news some way or another and remembered why he was doing this.

On September 15th 2001 Nick gave birth to a healthy 8lbs 2oz baby boy who he named Joshua Robert Carter. The whole family including the BSB boys showed up for the birth and stuck around for the first week of little Josh's life. Everybody was upset when they found out Nick wasn't going to be coming home. Nick explained that he had a few things he needed to take care of before he came home and that everybody would see him soon.

CHAPTER FOUR

Late 2001

Nick walked around his Florida home so thankful to be home even though things were so much different. He had been home for a day now but was keeping a low profile form everybody until he got situated.

"Melinda have you see that box that had the new kitchen gadgets?" he called as he looked through boxes he had brought back with him.

"Um," Melinda looked around her before disappearing from the room. She walked back in a few minutes later with the box in her hands, struggling a little bit with the heaviness. "Right here," she said setting the box down. "Need me to set them up in the kitchen?" She questioned, tucking her brown hair behind her ear.

"Sure if you want to...I gotta go make sure Josh is okay." Nick said with a smile. It was then he realized she was carrying a box that was WAY too heavy for her. "Hey wait a minute let ME take it into the kitchen...and you can unpack it?" he suggested taking the box from her.

She gave him a thank you smile before following him. "Thanks," she said as she began to unpack things in the kitchen.

Just as Nick was about to head upstairs to check on Josh there was a knock on the door and then a ring of the door bell and then another knock. "I guess we've been found out." he grumbled playfully before going to open the door and finding AJ standing there. "Hey Aje..." he said like it was no big deal that he was there.

"Hey Nick," AJ replied in the same tone, eyes narrowed. "What's up? Was just in the neighborhood and decided to drop by." What he didn't mention was that the neighborhood he'd been in was not even in the same state. He flew in from Malibu and drove over to Nick's place. The guys should be there soon.

Nick backed up so AJ could come into the house. "I find that hard to believe since you live in California when we're taking time off." he laughed. "So how did you find out?" he asked meaning how AJ knew he was home.

"Well," AJ said making his way inside. "It's Christmas eve... I figured you wouldn't dare spend time away from all of us on Christmas, and that you would need like a day to get settled back in and everything... so logic deduced that you would be back by today the latest!" He smiled at Nick.

"You know me too well," Nick grumbled playfully as he headed farther into the house, with AJ on his tale.

"So, you need any help..." AJ trailed off looking around at the boxes. "What the ... how did you manage to collect all this?"

"Anybody home?" Brian called through the front door, it was opened. "And it's not safe to leave the door opened... anybody could just walk in you know!" Howie added... Kevin came in behind him.

"I figured you three would be bounding in any second." Nick laughed rolling his eyes at his friends. "I guess it's a party now."

"You bet...it's not every day that a friend comes home from a LONG vacation!" Howie exclaimed playfully as he gave Nick a hug. "You're looking good man."

Nick made a face at that. "No I don't ...I still look fat."

"No, you look gorgeous," AJ batted his eyelashes. "And it's all baby weight anyways," Brian added. "Stuff that you WILL lose!"

"Most people are losing it by this point." Nick pointed out. "It's been 3 months."

"Don't push it...it'll happen." Kevin assured his younger friend. "Now where is the little munchkin?"

"Sleeping...but he should be waking up in a little bit." Nick said and then rushed into the kitchen when he heard a loud crash, hoping Melinda was okay.

Melinda was on the counter top placing some of the stainless steel appliances in the cupboards when one of them slipped from her grip and fell to the floor. "Sorry," she said with an apologetic face and laughed a little when Nick followed by four other men came rushing into the room, all bumping into Nick. Getting off the counter she straightened herself out and walked over to them. "Hello..."

"Damn, he got himself help," AJ mumbled under his breath so that only the guys could hear him. "Hmm, I guess we're useless," Brian added, with a slight pout on his face.

"Are you okay?" Nick asked going over to Melinda and pulling her into his arms. "Are you hurt?"

Melinda smiled up at Nick. "I'm fine, just dropped something, sorry about that." She leaned up and gave him a kiss on the lips before hugging him and looking over at the guys. "And it's finally great to meet you guys. Nick talks about you all the time..."

AJ's jaw dropped, wondering what kinda help she was and where he could get one like that.

"Um, hi... and good things I hope," Brian gave her a confused smile before turning a questioning gaze to Nick.

"Uh guys this is Melinda...she's my girlfriend." Nick explained with a smile, giving her another hug.

Howie got a confused look on his face, "Girlfriend?"

Nick nodded, "Yeah we met a few months ago in Jamestown...and when I told her I was going to be moving back down here she decided to come along."

"Oh," Howie said, shocked. "Well, that's nice..." He smiled.

"Great," AJ said rubbing his hands together. "You know about us, it'll only be fair that we know about you too...so..."

"How old are you, if you don't mind me asking that is?" Brian asked with his best polite manners he could muster up.

"Brain..." Nick said his eyes wide, that wasn't something you were supposed to ask somebody. The thing was Melinda was almost ten years older then Nick…and she looked like it.

Brian gave an innocent look. "What?" He asked, not liking this one bit.

Melinda laughed. "It's okay Nick..." She looked over at the guys not taking any offense. She knew that this was probably a surprise for the Boys since Nick hadn't mentioned her to them. "I'm 31, will be 32 in two months...and I work as an independent interior designer, basically I have my own business."

"So you can run that from a different state?" Kevin asked curiously, trying to get over the fact that this girl was around his age.

Melinda nodded her head. "Pretty much," she said. "In the past 10 years of so, I've sorta built up my rep and opened up business in a few states, besides NY, Cali, Houston, two of them happen to be here in Florida..."

"Wow," Howie said, nodding his head in respect. "That's something."

Nick smiled big, "See guys I'm being taken care of." he said almost sarcastically.

Wanting to change the subject Kevin asked something else. "So now that you're back do you plan on making a public appearance?"

"Actually Melinda and I are going to a Christmas party tomorrow...so I'll be out and about so people can see me and everything."

"You're not coming to the Jive one then?" AJ asked, curiously.

"I wasn't planning on it." Nick said. Just thinking about last years party made him not want to set foot at a Jive party for as long as he lived.

"Fair enough," Howie said with a sigh. "So... I hate to talk business but I guess we'll be continuing with the tour and press conferences and things starting January?"

"Yeah," Nick said still not sure how he was going to balance his family life now with the tour but it was his job and he loved it so he was going to have to deal with it. "Melinda is going to be coming out with us...I've already talked to Johnny. He said it was fine because I need somebody to watch Josh."

"Sounds good..." Kevin said trying to not feel weird that Nick was making these decisions without the rest of them.

"So, can we see the little dude?" AJ said taking on a different topic because all this crap was bringing him down.

"And I'm gonna head back to unpacking," Melinda said with a smile.

"Yeah sure...come on." Nick said as he lead the guys up the stairs, all the while wondering if everything was going to be the same now that he was home.

"We really need to hit the drug store first because we're almost down to our last diapers.” Nick said as he and Melina walked down the street with Joshua in his stroller.

"Yeah," Melinda said. "And stock up on more baby food... plus you still need to get something for the guys," she reminded him of what he told her to remind him about. He hadn't done his Christmas shopping yet.

"Right," Nick said as they headed to the drug store first to stock up on baby supplies. As they walked he didn't notice a few people looking in his direction.

Melinda cleared her throat a bit and adjusted the shades she was wearing. "I don't know how you get used to this," she mumbled as they headed into the store, everyone looking at them.

"Used to shopping?" Nick asked confused since he had no idea people were watching them...or following them.

"No," Melinda shook her head and looked behind them. "I mean that..."

Nick glanced back and groaned just in time to see a camera clicking. "Shit." he said with a sigh.

"Not in front of the baby," Melinda scolded playfully before covering the front of the stroller with a sheer cloth. Josh was still asleep; he was a good baby boy, not a fussy one.

"They are going to have a filed day with this." Nick mumbled as he headed to the back of the store where the baby things were kept. "Not only am I appearing out of nowhere but I've got a family too."

Melinda kept quiet as she grabbed a shopping basket and began to help Nick with the things they needed. "Well, keep your chin up...it will play itself out..."

Nick sighed, feeling bad for saying what he did. "I'm sorry...that made me sound ungrateful and that I don't want you or Josh here but I do."

"It's okay, sweetie, don't stress about it," Melinda gave him a warm smile. "Is that all, we forgetting anything?"

Nick looked down in the shopping cart and shook his head. "Nope we've got a huge package of diapers...formula and food."

"Baby wipes?" She questioned, "Never mind... you have enough of those for the next month or so." They headed over to the cashier.

Nick could still feel eyes on him while he paid for their things. "I'm still not sure what to get the guys." he admitted showing why he hadn't gotten them anything yet.

Melinda shrugged. "I wouldn't know either," she chuckled. She was a fan yes but how the heck do you shop for people who already have what they want?

"I just feel like maybe I don't know them anymore. I mean I haven't really see them for more then a day or two all year." Nick pointed out as they headed out of the drug store and headed down the street to where some other shops were.

Melinda got a confused expression on her face. "Well, maybe that has something to do with you moving half way across the country... away from them for almost a year," she supplied not really pointing fingers at anyone but Nick really didn't try hard to involve the other guys in his life for the past couple of months. "I'm sure that now that you're back and sorta getting back into things..."

"Maybe gift cards will be better." Nick said deciding not to comment on what Melinda just said. He then turned and walked into specialty food store thinking Kevin would like a gift card for some place like this.

Melinda sighed and followed Nick wondering why Nick was being distant with the guys. It wasn't long before they got a gift card for Kevin and were heading out of the store towards Nick's car. Big mistake. The paparazzi were waiting for them and the second they exited the store flashes went off and questions were being asked.

"Nick is this your child?" Once woman asked.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Another woman asked.

"Where have you been for the past year?" A man asked.

Nick tried to push his way to the car, glaring at the paparazzi. "Leave us alone please." he said not denying any of the questions which normally meant 'yes'.

"But Nick," another reporter spoke out. "Is the tour continuing? Will there be more of the Backstreet Boys?"

"Are the Backstreet Boys breaking up?" Another male reporter questioned.

"Oh my god," Melinda uttered under her breath as she helped Nick load up their things in the trunk before carefully taking baby Josh, covering his face, into her arms while Nick stored the stroller away and got behind the wheel. Once they were both buckled in and safe, Josh, in his baby seat in the back seat, next to him Melinda... they tried to drive away but it was a bit difficult with everyone standing around the car trying to get pictures of the baby.

"They are like vultures," Nick exclaimed once they finally got away from all the press. "This is when I hate being famous." he sighed.

Melinda snorted. This was something entirely different from what Nick had been saying for the past couple of month in Jamestown. "You know you don't hate it..."

"I don't hate being famous but I don't care for the pushy vulture people." Nick explained as they headed to do the rest of his shopping.

"Hmm," Melinda said cooing at Josh who had woken up from all the raucous around him. "Hey there lil' guy!" She giggled.

"What's the 'hmmm' for?" Nick asked glancing at the woman sitting next to him.

"Nothing," She said with a smile. "I think he's hungry."

"He's not the only one," Nick laughed as he started heading for some restaurants. "What would you like for lunch?"

"Something Italian," Melinda said, thinking. "Or Chinese..."

"Sit down Chinese or like Panda Express?" Nick questioned.

"Um, Panda... take-out would be better if you wanna avoid the vulture people," Melinda replied.

"Good thinking," Nick said as they headed to the closest Panda Express. Once there; they quickly went in and got their food and decided to take it home to eat it.

-+-=-=-+-=-=-+-

A few hours later, Melinda had gotten dressed for the party that Nick had wanted to go to. She was in the living room watching TV and paused on a celebrity news thing on E! TV... and it was about her and Nick.

Nick walked into the room just in time to hear his name mentioned and groaned. "See...dumb vulture people." he said but stopped to listen to what they were saying.

"Backstreet Boy Nick Carter has been out of the spot light for almost a year now but today he appeared shopping with a woman and a baby boy in the Florida Keys. Carter didn't say anything when asked questions, but it seems the young blond singer has got himself a family."

Melinda looked up at Nick not entirely sure that that attention was good for him or her. Okay, she was certain she didn't want that to be said about her but she kept quiet about it because in the end it will blow over. "Alright," she turned it off and got up. "Let's go." Josh was with Nick's parents for tonight.

"You're sure you're okay with coming out tonight, right?" Nick asked as he opened the passenger side door for her and then walked around to get in himself.

"Yeah," Melinda smiled. "You know I can never turn down a party." Reminding Nick just how they met.

Nick smiled back thinking of that night. It was Halloween and his grandparents had pretty much kicked him out of the house for a night and to go to a party a friend of theirs was throwing. Nick had expected a rather lame kiddy costume party but it ended up being just a smaller then a Jive party was. There he had met Melinda and had danced with her all night long. He hoped they got to do that again tonight.

Melinda buckled in and when Nick was settled she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Besides, you need to chill out and let loose a bit. A party might do you some good."

"Dance with me all night like we did on Halloween?" Nick asked with a smile and then smirked. They hadn't left and had sex that night like Nick had with Justin...but they had gotten together again the night after and did.

"You don't even have to ask." Melinda got comfortable.

"Good," Nick said as he backed out of the driveway and headed to where the Party was being held. It was a friend of his that was holding a party and a whole bunch of people from all over was supposed to be showing up.

As few minutes later Nick's cell phone started ringing. "Hey Nick," Melinda said taking Nick's phone out of the belt clip so that he didn't have to do it while driving. "It's a blocked number..."

"I don't really feel like answering a blocked number right now." Nick said shaking his head.

"What if it's important?" Melinda asked putting the phone back on the belt clip.

"if it was important the person wouldn't be calling me from a blocked number." Nick pointed out. "All my friends and family are in my phone book so I would know if it was any of them."

"True." Thirty minutes later they were inside the club and Nick had gone to go get some drinks before going to find his friends to say hello. Melinda waited by the couch and swayed to the beat of the music in her spot.

After talking with his friends for a while Nick found Melinda and smiled. "Ready to get to dancing?" he asked holding his hand out to her.

"Mhmm," Melinda said taking his hand as they headed out to the dance floor. She turned her back to him and then wrapped his arms around her while they danced. She felt something vibrating against her before she turned around in his arms and whispered in his ear that he was vibrating.

"Do you like it?" Nick teased the alcohol he has consumed beginning to have an effect.

Melinda chuckled but she snaked her hand down Nick's chest seductively, making him think that she was reaching down for something else but instead she grabbed his cell phone and showed it to him.

Once again the 'not listened' message was flashing across the screen. "I'm not going to answer It." he said pushing the button on the side to make it stop vibrating. He then pulled her closer to him again and started up a slow grind rather then simply dancing.

Melinda wrapped her arms around his neck and grinded with Nick, and she loved every second of it.

Meanwhile off to the distance JC was getting having a hard time listening to Justin bitch about Nick not answering his phone. The music was too loud but he did hear the part about Nick not picking up the phone. JC was just about to leave the room for some silence when he spotted none other than Nick on the dance floor and he laughed which seemed to have been the wrong thing to do because now Justin was pissed off. After a few seconds he finally got Justin to shut up and explained that Nick was right in front of him, dancing. Soon, he started to make his way through the crowd, towards Nick, to do Justin a favor but by the time he reached to where he had seen Nick, Nick wasn't there.

Nick has seen JC coming in his direction and pulled Melinda into what seemed like a strange room away from JC's prying eyes; the whole time not telling Melinda what he was doing.

Melinda was confused when Nick led them into a seemingly deserted room. She got a smirk on her face as she looked up at him with an interest look. "Care to tell me what's going on in that head of yours?"

"Uhh...I wanted you alone," Nick stated not really wanting to mention he was hiding from somebody.

"Hmm," Melinda said wrapping her arms around Nick's neck. "Why and now that you do, whacha gonna do about it?"

Nick leaned in for a passionate kiss, hoping to keep Melinda's mind off of the fact they were in the janitors closet.

Melinda kissed him back with just as much passion, her hands tightening around his neck.

Meanwhile, JC was on the phone baffled. He told Justin that he wasn't seeing things but Nick wasn't there anymore. Feeling like an idiot standing with a cell phone in one hand and the other hand was busy with closing the other ear from noise in the middle of couples dancing he moved to the side where the janitor closet was. He spoke loudly in to the phone when Justin kept telling him to find him, he said, "I swear J, I don't know where the fuck he is!" He leaned back on the door and sighed.

Nick heard JC talking and tried to get Melinda even more involved in the kiss by brining his hands down and squeezing her ass. The only problem was he wasn't hard like he normally would be so that was bound to throw her off and then notice there was somebody talking loudly right outside the door.

"Well, how do you suppose I go about finding him?" JC inquired into the phone. "Why don't you try calling him again? Okay, I'll hold!"

Melinda, thus far, ignored the voice outside but pulled away from the kiss when Nick's phone began to vibrate with the ring.

Nick groaned trying to ignore his phone ringing in his pocket, but it was driving him crazy with the stupid song a friend of his in Jamestown had stuck on it. 'Leave me alone!' he exclaimed inside his head.

JC scrunched his face and wondered why there was a ringing behind him. He straightened up and looked behind him and read the sign on the door. 'Janitor's closet.' And he laughed. But what seemed strange to him was that the second the ringing stopped Justin was back on the phone complaining that Nick didn't pick up. "Uh, try once more," he said, curious and a few seconds later, the ringing started up again and then stopped when Justin came back on the phone. "Maybe, he's busy...somewhere...with....someone," he said and shook his head. "Listen, I gotta get going... but Merry Christmas and I'll see you tomorrow." With that JC hung up the phone and walked away from the door but didn't take his eyes away from it.

"Okay...what the hell was that about?" Melinda questioned, starting to get a bit annoyed.

"I don't know," Nick said playing dumb, he had a good idea who it was calling him now and was so thankful he hadn't answered the phone.

Melinda sighed. "I'm not stupid Nick," she said. "And neither was that guy that was just on the other side of the door..."

Nick pretended to look confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You're kidding me," Melinda said frustrated. "Whatever, you stay in here till you decide to tell me the truth... and then come find me." She opened the door and walked out.

"Melinda!" Nick called out as he rushed out of the closet and almost running smack dab into the person he had been trying to avoid...JC.

Melinda made her way to the bar, she really needed a drink.

"Whoa," JC said a bit shocked. "Hey... everything okay?" He questioned, genuinely worried. Nick looked...not okay. "It's funny, I swear I thought I saw you here but when I came looking for you, poof... and when I give up, bam..." He laughed.

"I'm looking for somebody..." Nick said looking around trying to see if he could find Melinda.

"Oh," JC said looking around. "Um... the petite brunette that just rushed by here, your girlfriend?" He tried to fish for the story.

"She's not really my girlfriend," Nick said before he realized what he was actually saying. Sure, he introduced Melinda as his girlfriend but really she was more of a friend...that was a girl...that they sometimes screwed around.

"Oh," JC repeated again, a bit confused, and recalled the tabloids saying something about family. And then his eyes went wide, thinking that was his wife. "OHHH! Yeah, man... sorry... All I know is that she went in that direction," he hitched his thumb behind him but that didn't really help much since everything else of the club was in that direction. "But I just wanna say congrats though...becoming a dad and all, I never thought...but hey, so... when do we get to see the kid?"

Nick automatically started to panic thinking JC some how knew about HIM being dad as in giving birth to the Josh. But then he realized there was no way JC knew that and JC just knew he had a baby so he was congratulating him on that. "Thanks...and umm soon I'm sure. He's still really young so I don't really bring him out into really busy places much...I mean we don't..."

JC smiled. "Of course, I understand. It's a boy huh? What's his name?" He asked.

"Joshua Robert," Nick replied not believing he was actually talking to JC about this. JC the best friend of Justin who was looking for him...calling him even. Justin the father of said Joshua Robert. The man he had sex with exactly a year ago to this date.

"I like the way you think," JC said with a big smile on his face because Nick named the kid that same name he had. Joshua. "And hey... Joshua Carter, JC... cool!" He laughed. "But yeah, we've been trying to get a hold of you... guys for a while now... what happened, I mean... you like literally disappeared off the face of the earth all year..."

"I'm just sneaky like that," Nick laughed trying to make a joke out of the whole thing.

"Yeah, guess so," JC said a bit disappointed for not getting a direct answer. "How come you didn't end up going to Jive's party?"

"I was invited to this one first...so I decided to check it out. How come YOU aren't there?" Nick asked curiously. "Why aren't you with your buds in LA?"

"The guy throwing this party is a friend of mine," JC shrugged. "He called in a favor...so here I am besides it's a nice change of scene from the Jive one 'cause it usually gets boring about an hour in or so."

Nick agreed thinking the same thing. "Yeah I always end up leaving early."

"Yeah," JC said taking in a deep breath. "Well, well wishes to you and your family, Merry Christmas. I don't want to keep you long...take care, Nick. Nice talking to ya, man."

Nick smiled a little, "Back at you man." he said before heading off to find Melinda. Thankfully this time he didn't run into anybody else and found her at the bar. "Mel...I'm sorry." he said sitting down next to her.

"Hmm, for what?" Melinda wanted to know.

"Not acting like myself," Nick said feeling bad for messing up the party for her.

"Are you going to tell me why?" Melinda questioned.

"It's Justin who has been calling me...and JC is here...and." Nick sighed not sure really how to say what he was feeling or why he was acting the way he was.

Melinda got confused. "Justin...and JC... like from NSYNC?" She questioned, not getting the big deal about it. "So...why are you ignoring or avoiding...?" She paused as something occurred to her. "Unless... one of them is...oh shit, Justin...it's him, isn't it?" See, all this time she didn't know who the father was but she knew that it was Nick's baby and it always bugged her that Josh looked like somebody she recognized but now... now it all made sense. "Nick... why?"

"Why what?" Nick asked getting some what defensive like he always did when asked anything about Justin.

"Why are you ignoring his calls?" Melinda questioned her complete attention on Nick, her anger towards him long gone. "I mean... what the hell could be have done to piss you off like this? And...does he know?" She was all questions.

Nick simply shook his head to answer the last question. He then looked around the room, not really feeling like partying anymore.

"You...he...doesn't know?" She was bewildered. "Damn..."

"And he's not going to know." Nick added quickly giving Melinda a pointed look to make sure she didn't go off talking to him or JC.

Melinda raised her hands in a 'surrender' manner. "I won't but he still has the right to know," she said. "I mean, if I were him, I would like to know."

Nick simply just looked at Melinda before asking her if she wanted to dance. He was once again on a mission on early Christmas day but this year was to forget last year.

CHAPTER FIVE

"Since when has this become a tradition to do Leno on Christmas Eve?" Nick asked as he got ready for the show.

It was now 2004 and the guys were finishing up their studio time by doing some Christmas talk shows and things.

"Jay just makes things so festive," Howie laughed thinking it was odd how they managed to get this slot on Leno every Christmas Eve.

"I think he loves us," AJ said with a chuckle. "And reserves a spot just for us at this time of the year!" He nodded his head.

Brian rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. They were all in the make-up room getting dolled up before they were to go on set.

Meanwhile, JC was at home, bored out of his mind and the only thing he had going for him at the moment was television. He was mindlessly flipping channels when he came across the Late Night Show with Jay Leno and hearing the name Backstreet Boys, he paused at the station. It was the routine comic lines show opener that Jay did every night... but tonight it was about Backstreet Boys. With his interest peaked he settled in to watch it. Chuckling.

"I don't know what it is folks, but... it seems to me that every time this year is fate or destiny... I can never tell the two apart... but anyways, fate or destiny had been bringing the Backstreet Boys or one of them to me..." Jay said, laughing. "But the main questions that seem to be on everyone's mind is... who is the mother of this mystery child that seems to be with Nick Carter at all times? I mean, we've thought for a while that it was Melinda Warren and Nick's baby but..." A picture of Melinda, Nick, and Joshua was put up on the screen, "...as you can see... it possibly can't be. The mother and child don't have anything in common..." He shrugged. "But at the same time... we stopped seeing Melinda in the picture for a year now... and the question still remains... who is the mother. Does anyone know... guess?" The audience began to spurt out names like, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Charlize Theoron, Paris Hilton... and Jay just shook his head. "But hopefully, all this is clarified... by the end of tonight's show so stay tuned, because the special guests on tonight's show are the BACKSTREET BOYS!" He pointed at the camera as a picture of the Boys popped up on the screen. "We'll be back right after this little break."

At the mention of BSB being the special guests... JC grabbed at his cell phone and quickly dialed Justin's number. After four rings Justin answered. "Dude, stop or drop whatever the hell your doing at the moment and turn on the TV to Jay Leno..." He rambled out. "The Boys are on it." A part of him felt like a crazed teenager but he knew Justin was worse than he was.

"Just my luck," Nick grumbled when he watched the opening monologues on a screen in the back. He had a feeling this was going to come up...it always did. But this time he wasn't sure if he could jump around the topic.

"Don't worry about it Nick we'll work our way around the questions just like we always do. I mean we have an upcoming album and stuff to talk about that should be more important then our personal lives. Howie said with a smile.

Kevin nodded his head, "Yeah and if that doesn't work you know Brian would more then willing talk about Baylee and Leighanne and stuff."

Brian laughed. "Of course..." he said patting Nick's shoulder.

"What... no one's gonna talk about me?" AJ questioned hurt expression on his face.

"I can talk about you," Nick laughed. "I can talk about how cute you are and how you're still a treat for the ladies while on stage.

Kevin was about to reply to that when one of the stage hands told them they were on in ten seconds. So they all quickly took their spots.

When Jay announced them they all came walking out, got their hugs from Jay and took their seats.

"Here we are, again... for the fifth year in a row," Leno said taking a seat behind his desk, hands folded on the top. "Do you think its fate/destiny that brings us together around this time of the year, fellas?" He questioned.

"I think it has to do with the fact that your people call our people and we're forced to come." Nick joked, trying to hopefully get the conversation off of him by automatically joking around.

Jay laughed. "But around this time of the year? Well, it's been a busy year for you Boys... what, with another album getting finished..." he said audience cheering. "But I won't ask what too you guys so long to do another one... you've answered all those questions a million times already. What we're gonna try and find out tonight... is more to do with the questions that everyone wants answered especially by Nick. Like...what happened between your wife, Melinda, and yourself?"

'Take it like a man Nick', Nick told himself inside his head before answering. "Well...the thing is I honestly don't remember any wedding between myself and Melinda Warren...nor do I remember the wedding night so either I must have been drunk out of my mind or it never happened," he answered and laughed when all the girls in the audience cheered at the mention of a wedding night.

"So, you are not and were never married?" Jay clarified.

"No I wasn't," Nick simply stated.

"I wonder when this turned into a Nick tells all show." Howie whispered to Brian who was sitting next to him. It wasn't that he minded, actually he would be thankful when everything with Nick was out in the open, because hiding it all was getting too damn hard.

"Maybe it's a sign," Brian whispered back, thinking the same thing Howie was thinking.

"Well, then," Jay smiled. "That means the ladies out there still have a shot with Mr. Carter... anyone else in the group still a bachelor?" Jay asked the rest of them.

"I'm still single," AJ said with a smirk.

"I'm dating somebody," Howie said but by the tone of his voice he wasn't willing to elaborate on that.

"Still happily married," Kevin laughed knowing there were some people out there that seemed to think he and his wife were having problems. That wasn't the case though.

"Ditto…got my son Baylee and my wife Leigh," Brian smiled.

"Two out of the five...still available. Good, good..." Leno said. "How do you guys feel about being the only group, boy band to put out a record this year...I mean, it's been really quiet on the NSYNC front... usually you guys are going head-to-head... but not this year?"

"We haven't really done that for a while now," Kevin explained. "Since the earlier days it seems our albums come out at opposite times or not at all." he said meaning since NSYNC hasn't done an album recently and from what he heard wasn't going to anymore.

"It's better this way though I think...for both of us. I mean if we were having a hard time with it I can only imagine NSYNC was too." Howie added.

This was a topic Nick decided to stay out of. He had gotten over his issues with Justin over the years but talking about him directly like this was hard, especially thinking about rivalry when it came to albums. He still had hard feelings about what Jive did to his album and then totally working up Justin's.

"Are we ever going to see or hear a collaboration between the two groups?" Jay questioned. "I mean, in boy band history both of your names are down in records and both have lasted the longest compared to all the other teen sensations to have come out in the late 90's."

"Maybe," Brian said with a shrug. "You never know. Only time will tell, I suppose, but as of right now... we are all just taking it as it is, just working on ourselves and our lives. It's been a whirlwind for each of us for the past few years and we're all in ways still learning and growing... so, who knows."

"What dear Brian here is trying to say is that it's a possibility," AJ clarified.

Jay chuckled. "And how about the solo ones... Nick?" Jay turned his attention to Nick. "Do you think there would ever be a possible collaboration between you and Justin? I'm sure all your fans are dying for that to happen!" The audience cheered and applauded in agreement.

Nick had picked that time to take a sip of his water and the words 'collaboration' and 'Justin' in the same sentence had Nick inhaling and joking on the water he drank. He wasn't thinking about the musical sense but instead thinking of his three year old son that was back at the hotel with Leighanne.

"What the efff..." AJ managed to hold his tongue when he was suddenly drenched in water from behind him. Turning around he saw Nick choking and Kevin patting Nick on the back.

"I'm taking this as a sign," Jay quickly said. "We'll be back with the answer right after this short break." With that he was up off his seat and going to see if Nick was alright.

"I'm fine...fine..." Nick said when everybody was looking at him in concern.

"He just must have swallowed wrong," Howie stated.

It wasn't long before the break was over and Jay was back behind his desk and Nick was composed. "And welcome back," Jay said. "Tonight we have with us The Backstreet Boys, and Nick giving us a little scare a few minutes back...but everything is alright." He assured everyone. "So Nick, we asked you if there was ever going to be a collaboration between yourself and Justin..."

"If you mean between us as singers...I don't know." Nick answered thankful he had his composure back finally.

'Oh wow...' Kevin thought to himself, he knew what Nick as thinking now when the word 'collaborations' was said and had a feeling this was going to be the night where Nick at last opened up some what.

"You don't think there might be a possibility even?" Leno questioned. "Do you think it's because of the differences in your style and taste for music? And how about AJ?...We hear that you are working on a solo album yourself... any possible collaborations on your part?"

"I think those things you said have a lot to do with it, yes." Nick agreed and then turned to AJ for his answer.

"I am working on a solo album...but as for working with Justin I've never actually thought about it. If the opportunity came up I might go ahead and jump on it." AJ replied.

Brian cleared his throat to keep from laughing at the choice of words AJ had used.

"Well, not just Justin... but you planning on working with anyone else or is this album all you?" Jay clarified.

"Well, then," Leno said. "That's something to look forward too. Brian, your son is about 2 years old now... and Nick, your son about 3... How do the two boys get along with each other? We haven't seen many pictures, actually none at all, of the two boys together and fans are asking for pictures for some reason."

Brian laughed. "Oh, they get along just about great. They are like brothers, mini frick and mini frack, we got them the same hats and everything... and I'm surprised that there's no pictures of the two floating around... because they're always together especially since we re-united for this album."

"Yeah they both love to ham it up on stage during our sound check parties. I'm surprised too there aren't any pictures since fans are allowed to have cameras there." Nick said smiling.

"I've got pictures," AJ piped up as he took out his cell phone. "I mean, two those are just so full of energy and silly moments…it's hard for me to not to snap away..." He showed Jay the picture of Baylee and Josh on stage with the microphones wearing rock star t-shirts on, their fathers behind them, looking down at them.

"Aw, isn't that a cute shot," Jay said before turning it to the audience and also so that the camera can zoom in on it.

"Well, Nick... we know that Melinda isn't the mother, so just who is the mother?" He asked as he returned the phone to AJ.

"That's a rather interesting question actually." Nick started knowing he wasn't going to lie this time around, there was no point. "You see what people have been doing is asking me the wrong question. If they would ask me who the father is then maybe...I could answer."

Howie tried not to look shocked when Nick so straight forwardly started this conversation. He knew this would be all over the news tomorrow, but he knew it was for the best.

Kevin smiled big; this was how things were supposed to be. Nick was too young to be having so many secrets weighing him down.

Brian was just as shocked as Howie but even more than that, he was relieved.

AJ coughed from the shock but turned around to look at Nick before turning back and nodding his head, in agreement to what Nick had just said.

"Pardon me?" Jay sputtered out, unsure if he heard correctly, "Who that father is?"

But back in JC's house, JC was seated at the edge of his seat, jaw dropped and on the other end of the line he distinctly heard a thud, much familiar to that of a body falling to the ground but he wasn't paying too much attention to that. His attention was what was happening on TV.

"Exactly...that is the right question." Nick said with a nod of his head and a smile on his face. He knew Jay wasn't exactly asking the question but more wanting clarification as to what Nick meant by that. "Have you ever heard about the nuclear plant explosion in Japan in 1988?"

"Um, sure," Jay said not entirely recovering. "Yes, I mean but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well I was there, see my father is in the military and he was stationed overseas in Japan. That Christmas my family and I went to visit him and the explosion happened." Nick stated.

"If you know about the explosion then you probably know about the side effects it had on the young men and woman that were there." Kevin added trying to help Nick out and also see if Jay figured it out on his own.

"Well, of course," Jay nodded his head. "Young boys, their hormones levels changing causing more estrogen... and while puberty is occurring they develop female organs as well...enabling them to...bear children." He still looked and sounded amazed. "Wow. I would have never thought... I mean, I've never met... I mean, well, now we know why you disappeared for almost a year three years ago." He joked.

"Yeah, that, and why he had a bit of weight on him when he returned, and a little munchkin in his arms," AJ supplied.

"So see...now everybody knows," Nick said feeling rather exposed at the moment and hoped the topic could change even though he doubted it would.

"Yes, yes," Jay agreed but before he could ask anymore questions, the director was indicating that he had better start ending it soon because time was running out. Turning to the camera he said, "Time for a short break and when we come back, the Backstreet Boys will be performing the title song Never Gone from their album Never Gone." He paused. "And a little something for the Christmas in all of us."

Nick was SO thankful when the interview was done and they could leave. He only hoped leaving would be easy enough after what had just happened. "If there is press outside I'm going to go nuts." he whispered to Brian as they headed backstage.

"If there is press outside we'll cover you while we make a run to the car," Brian offered before giving Nick a small smile. "I'm proud of you... you did good out there tonight."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up," Nick admitted as he grabbed his coat.

"Brian's right Nick that was so brave of you and I'm proud of you too." Kevin said giving Nick a hug.

CHAPTER SIX

Still 2005

Nick held tightly onto Joshua's hand as he and the little boy walked through the mall. Josh had gotten a few different gift cards for his birthday from various relatives so now they were going to buy him some toys and things with the cards.

"Daddy we look at toys first?" Josh asked with his big blue eyes hiding under his mop of curly hair. He knew that some of the cards his daddy wanted to buy clothes with, but he wanted to look at the toys first.

Justin got out of his car and looked at the big mall, the really big mall. He flew in from LA last night to spend some time with friends in Florida but mostly to see if he could bump into Nick. Well, about 30 minutes ago he's gotten word that Nick was out and about and was heading into the mall and Justin jumped at the opportunity to casually and accidentally bump into Nick. It's been three years since he'd been trying to get in touch and he knows that Nick's been busy but it really sucked when Nick talked to all of his guys, JC, Joey, Chris, and Lance...on occasion when they bumped into him but didn't have a single second to return one of his missed calls. But Justin put that behind him as he took in a deep breath and headed into the mall, hopefully he would find them before they leave.

Nick knew if they didn't do the toys first then Joshua would be throwing a fit the whole time so he knew that was the best way to go. "We can do toys first...but then we have to go look at the clothes and I don't want you throwing a fit." he told his son.

"Otay daddy," Joshua said with a big smile on his face as they headed for Toys R Us.

Justin got inside and frowned at all the people walking around. He knew then that just walking around and hoping to bump into Nick was a bad plan. Thinking up a tactic he decided to check all baby stores first, something he knew from experience because of his two younger, much younger, step-brothers. Checking the directory for stores on the first floor he headed for baby Gap, next on the list was the Disney story, then KB Toys, then Toys-R-Us, then Children's Place.

"Ohh daddy look at this!" Exclaimed Joshua practically bouncing up and down when he spotted a Ninja Turtle action figure set that he just HAD to have.

Nick laughed at his hyper son. "That would cost all your money from Great-grandma" he pointed out.

Josh seemed to think about that for a second before pulling the toy off the shelf and examining it closer.

Justin walked out of baby Gap and wondering if he should walk back in and buy an adorable outfit he saw that would be great for a three year old... great for Nick's son. He stood there for a few minutes contemplating and not caring that he probably looked a bit weird to others before he made up his mind and went back in and bought the set of clothes. Satisfies he walked back out and walked in next door into the Disney Store only to walk out a minute later when he saw Nick wasn't there. He then headed on over to Toys-R-Us that was a few feet away.

Joshua had decided to look around the huge toy store a little more to see if he could get something even cooler with his 20 dollar gift card from his Great-Grandma.

"Daddy when can we go see Melinda?" Josh asked as they looked up and down the isles. Melinda was still the closets thing he had to a mom and even though she no longer lived with them and had a boyfriend and a house of her own they still spent time with her for Josh's sake.

"Maybe tomorrow, I think she's got a present for you." Nick replied.

Josh's eyes went wide. "Ohh I want the present!! I bet it's something REALLY cool!" as he started in the other direction

Justin found himself walking towards the 'boys' section and looking at stuff around him, the kid in him reminiscing about his own childhood and thinking how awesome the kids now have it with even cooler stuff. He was looking at a remote control helicopter, sure he'd already shopped for his step-brothers but, he loves to spoil to them, momentarily forgetting that he was on a mission. He was checking the stats on the side of the box when someone bumped into him. It was a little kid, and he reached down so the kid wouldn't fall. "Oh, hey there...sorry," he apologized, smiling.

"It's okay...me sowwy too," Joshua told the stranger. The thing was...he couldn't find his daddy. He had walked away from him a few minutes ago cuz he had seen something REALLY cool...but now his daddy was gone!

Justin chuckled as he looked around the isle and noticed it was just him and the little kid. Kneeling down so that he was somewhat eye-level with the boy he asked, "What are you doing here all by yourself? Where's your mommy or daddy?" He questioned, wondering what kind of parent would let their kid go wandering around all by themselves. It wasn't a safe world; there are weirdo's out there.

Joshua got a sad look on his face, "Me no know where he is...me can't find him." he said forgetting he wasn't really supposed to be talking to strangers.

Justin got even more worried. "Well, then, let's go find him shall we?" He questioned and then smiled. "My name is Justin, what's yours?"

"Joshua," The little boy replied with a perfect 'Carter' smile.

Justin smiled right back. "Do you remember where was the last place you saw him, Joshua?" He stood up and held his hand out for the little kid to take.

"Umm..." Joshua looked around, trying to remember. "Me tink me was over dare." he said pointing in the direction of the Lego isle.

Meanwhile Nick was frantically looking around for his son. Joshua was known for running off, but normally he found him before now so he was really beginning to get scared.

"Alright, let's go," Justin said heading in that direction. "What does your daddy look like?" He questioned but then frowned when he saw that the only people in the Lego isle was a woman and her little boy.

"Ummm..." Joshua said again as he once again tried to think of how to explain his daddy. "He gots dis color hair..." he said pointing at his own head. "He's bigger den you..." he said meaning taller and bigger around.

"Okay, big blonde guy, got it!" Justin nodded his head. "You remember what he's wearing?" He checked down another isle to see if there was a blonde guy in it.

Joshua thought again, "Geen shirt, blue pants," he said meaning he was wearing jeans.

Justin looked down another isle and saw a blur of green disappear the end of the isle around the corner and he rushed to the next isle. He saw the back of the man, green shirt, blonde hair, blue jeans, big guy... "Excuse me, sir?" He called out still holding onto Josh's hand. He looked down at Josh wondering if this was the man,

"DADDY!" Joshua exclaimed knowing that was indeed his daddy.

Nick turned around quickly when he heard his son's voice but his eyes went wide when he saw who was holding Josh's hand. "J...Justin?" he stuttered.

Justin's eyes went wide in shock and he stood there with his mouth hanging slightly open. What were the odds that he goes looking for Nick, hoping to talk to him after three years of trying to get in touch, only to have Nick's son bump into him lost in Toys-R-Us? "Nick," he finally managed to get out and then put a smile on his face. "You... um, you should be more... careful..." he cleared his throat feeling all too self-conscious and nervous.

Nick glared a little at Justin for saying that. "He likes to run off...and he gets in trouble when he does." he said giving his son a pointed look.

"But me..." Joshua started but hung his head knowing he would get in trouble now. He had been told many times not to run away from his daddy at the store but he forgot when he saw something REALLY cool that he just HAD to see.

Nick glared a little at Justin for saying that. "He likes to run off...and he gets in trouble when he does." he said giving his son a pointed look.

"But I..." Joshua started but hung his head knowing he would get in trouble now. He had been told many times not to run away from his daddy at the store but he forgot when he saw something REALLY cool that he just HAD to see.

'All the more to be careful,' Justin mentally added when Nick glared at him but sighed. "Sorry, didn't mean for it to sound that way... just saying... I'm a stranger and all." He meant for Josh to have trusted him, a total stranger. "You two Christmas shopping?"

"No aren't," Joshua said having recognized Justin after a few minutes of talking. "Yous unca JC's fwend."

Justin looked down at Josh and his jaw nearly dropped. "Uncle JC's friend?" he questioned, dumbfounded. Uncle JC. Uncle? Since when the fuck was JC Uncle JC especially to Nick's son? He was going to have a talk with JC. And to say that it didn't hurt would be an understatement, because it really did. He managed a small smile towards Josh. "That's right."

"So no stranger," Joshua said with a big smile hoping that got him off the hook some what for running away from his daddy.

"Well thanks for finding him," Nick said before he reached for Josh's hand and expected to head out of the store, getting him the Ninja Turtle thing he wanted.

"Uhh, no problem," Justin said and he had to think fast. "So, you didn't answer my question. You two Christmas shopping?"

"Kind of...Josh got some gift cards from out of state relatives so he's buying his own presents." Nick explained.

Joshua nodded his head, "Uh huh...me rich...buy stuff." he said with a big smile on his face. "You shop wit us?"

Justin chuckled at what Josh said. "Me too and I would love to," he said before realizing to better double check with him. "If that is okay with your father that is," He really got the feeling Nick hated him and he wondered what he did for that to happen. He wondered if he said something or did something, maybe Nick hated him for sleeping with him. Justin didn't know and he was dying to understand.

Nick wanted Joshua happy so he nodded his head. "Sure." he simply replied.

Joshua smiled big. "YAY!" he exclaimed before doing a little dance in the middle of the isle.

"I see where he learns his dancing," Justin observed and then laughed before it quickly died when Nick shot him a glare. "It's not a bad thing, it's cute," he defended before following them towards the cashier. He decided to get the helicopter.

"Who dat for?" Joshua asked Justin seeing the toy helicopter.

Nick carried the Ninja Turtle set for Joshua since he seemed to be pre-occupied in Justin right now. 'Just great,' he thought to himself.

"For my little brothers," Justin said showing it to Josh. "They are a few years older than you though. What are you getting?"

"Leonardo Ninja turtle set." Joshua explained pronouncing 'Leonardo' perfectly when he couldn't even say full sentences correctly.

"Oh really?" Justin asked surprised. "When I was a kid I used to love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles... my favorite was Michelangelo..."

Joshua thought this was just so cool "Really...yous did?"

'Now Josh is going to love Justin…which means Justin will be around more...which means I'm screwed.' Nick screamed in his head as he used Josh's gift card to buy the Ninja Turtles set.

"Yup," Justin said. "I remember collecting everything TMNT..." he paused.”I think I might still have my old stuff in storage somewhere." He looked back at Josh. "Have you seen the movie yet?"

"He's seen the cartoons," Nick answered for his son as they all headed out of the store.

Joshua nodded his head, "Yeah me have see dem on TV...me wuv dem."

Normally Nick would be helping to correct his son's speech but right now he didn't have the energy.

"Well, they came out with this movie," Justin offered with a smile. "You will love it."

Nick looked around wondering where they should go next once they were out of the store. Josh had gift cards for The Children's Place and for Macy's so he wasn't sure which one to go to first to look for the clothes. It was then he thought of something. "Joshua...do you need to go potty?"

Josh shook his head in the negative but it was obvious he wasn't really paying attention to his daddy because he was carrying his new toy over to a bench and climbing up on it; once again walking a little ways away from his daddy without asking.

Justin watched Josh get all comfortable on the bench and looked at Nick before approaching Josh. "You tired already or you just wanna play?" he questioned.

"Wana pay," Joshua explained as he tried to get into the packaging of his toy.

Nick walked over to the bench and took the toy from the boy. "You know you don't open toys at the mall that we wait until we get home."

Joshua pouted up at his daddy. "You no fun." he stated before getting off of the bench with a mad look on his face.

"But your daddy has a point," Justin said. "Don't you think it would be a lot more fun if you played with Leonardo at home where there's a lot more toys, I'm sure, and you wouldn't have to worry so much about having to get home and all that stuff? Besides, the faster you get done with shopping... I bet the faster you get home to play!"

"Me no wana look at clothes...me no like clothes." Joshua said continuing to pout.

"We have to, yours don't fit anymore and grandma wants you to get some new clothes. “Nick said

"Me no wana," Josh replied again still glaring at his daddy.

Justin turned his head from Nick to Josh and back again. He stood somewhat in the middle of the two, it was a funny situation. They both had stubborn looks on their faces, Nick looking down at Josh, Josh looking up at Nick. He wanted to laugh but he felt that would piss Nick off so he didn't say anything, just stayed out of it but then a thought occurred to him. "Hey, Nick...do you have to get new clothes? Cuz I do..." Not really but maybe if the adults were doing it, Josh would follow along.

Nick seemed confused at first but then understood what Justin was doing. "Yeah I could use some new clothes." he said not sure if this would work for his son since it didn't all the time.

Josh eyed the adult's funny, "Otay you go...me wait for you."

Nick couldn't help but laugh a little. "Come on man...we can find something really awesome with Ninja Turtles on it.” he said picking Josh up.

At that Josh agreed to go shopping for clothes, as long as he got some things with Ninja Turtles on it. As they were in a dressing room trying on jeans Josh thought of something.

"Your brodders ike airpwans?" he asked thinking about he helicopter Justin had gotten earlier.

Justin cleared his throat and nodded his head. "Yeah, helicopters, the one with the... swirly stuff...on top," he explained. "That and dinosaurs." He said with a smile "You like 'em?"

"Day otay," Josh said with a smile

"He does like those things...right now he's just so into the whole Ninja Turtles thing he forgets he likes other things." he laughed as he buttoned Josh's pants after trying no a pair of jeans.

"I can relate," Justin said with a smile. "So what all did you get for Christmas?"

"Lot of clothes...and some electronic stuff." Nick replied before realizing if Josh caught on that would mean he didn't really need to go shopping.

"Baylee my bestest fwend!" Josh exclaimed out of the blue.

"I would think so," Justin said with a smile as they got ready to leave. "Since Brian is Nick's best friend and all."

"Yeah they are cute...we got them t-shirts and hats that say Mini frick & frack." Nick laughed as he and Josh washed their hands.

Justin smiled at the imagery of it. "I bet it was," he said with a nod, feeling a bit off for some reason. When they were finished in dressing room they headed out and Justin remembered the present he got for Josh. "Um," he said stopping by the bench they were at earlier. "I got a little something... for Josh," he said holding out the bag with the present in it, he had the lady wrap it for him.

Nick seemed shocked when Justin handed him the bag. "How did you...umm thank you." he said really wondering how Justin would have thought to get Josh something in the first place.

Justin smiled at Nick's shocked expression. "I was uh, walking by Gap and... like... saw this...and just got it," he said a bit uncomfortable. "Was going to mail it over or something but this is just as good... So, now don't you have clothes to buy?" He changed the topic, thinking they would stop by an adult store to look for clothes just so they followed up with the other half of their story for Josh.

Justin tagged along and about an hour later they were leaving the mall with Nick holding a bunch of bags, Justin a few of his own but not as many as Nick, and Josh who was practically sleep walking. The shopping wore the poor kid out and made him really cranky and he really wanted to be carried. "Here Nick, I'll hold the bags," he offered so that Nick would be free to carry his son.

"Thanks Justin," Nick said as he handed the bags to Justin and then picked Josh up in his arms so he was resting his head on his shoulder.

"Don't mention it," Justin said and then groaned when he saw quick motions around them, and lone and behold it was the paparazzi scurrying to snap pictures and record everything. "This is wonderful," he said sarcastically.

"Sorry...they're always following me now days...especially since Christmas Eve." Nick said not really bothered by it since it was his life now. Josh didn't even seem to care anymore. Normally when he was in a better mood he would ham it up for the cameras.

"Yeah... I would imagine," Justin said. "You definitely threw a big bombshell on the world with that little interview." When they got to Nick's car Justin help load all the bags in the trunk and stood there wondering, 'now what?' "Um, well... it was nice bumping into you," he began to say and smiled at Josh when he picked his head up and looked at him with sleepy eyes. Justin rested his hand on Josh's head and fluffed his air a bit. "Nice meeting ya buddy."

"Bye bye," Josh said in a sleepy voice but he was still smiling.

"Nice see you too Justin...uhh talk to you later." Nick said not sure what else to say.

"Um, yeah," Justin said scratching the back of his head. He really didn't want to say goodbye nor did he want to leave but it would have to do. "Yeah," he gave them a smile and backed up a few steps. "Alright take care..." He turned around and shoved both hands into the pocket of his jeans, heading towards his car. He had a feeling he was forgetting something, at least something felt off.

Nick sighed a sigh of relief before he turned to put Josh in his car seat and then got in himself. This had definitely turned out to be an interesting day.

Justin had avoided all questions from the paparazzi as he headed for his car, the nagging feeling that something's not right at the back of his mind. He got in his car and pulled out of the parking lot, it wasn't until 20 minutes later that he realized what it was. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," he cursed himself as he sighed and stopped the car off to the side. When he was placing Nick's bags in the back of Nick's car he had completely forgotten that his things were part of it too. "Stupid." He sighed and turned the car back around. He knew where Nick lived and drove over there. It was getting late and he really didn't want to intrude or interrupt anything. But before he rang the door bell he decided to give Nick a phone call, praying the other blonde would finally answer.

"Hello?" Nick answered sounding rather distracted so he hadn't even thought to look at who was calling.

Justin was shocked into silence for a few seconds. He really wasn't expecting Nick to answer. "Uh... he…hello," he said stuttering a bit. He smacked his forehead and shook his head. "Uh, sorry... Nick its Justin," he got his composure. "Wow, you actually answered my phone call after three years." He laughed uneasily.

Nick blushed at that, "Yeah...I umm, didn't look to see who it was," he said not realizing how bad that sounded.

"Gee thanks," Justin said with a sigh even though he got a bit angry he was too tired to figure out anything. "Listen, I won't take up any of your time but I kinda forgot to separate your bags with mine... and basically you have my things... I'll just pick up my things and be outta your hair soon."

Nick sighed when he heard the way Justin was acting and then thought about what he had just said. "Sure come on over...and Justin I'm sorry...I've been a real ass...you can stay longer if you want to. Josh is still napping."

Justin ignored the last part Nick said. "Well, I'm kinda... well, outside your place so...."

"Oh," Nick laughed as he walked and opened the door. "Hey." he said hanging up the phone once he was looking right at Justin.

Justin gave a small smile. "Hey," he said replacing his phone in his pocket.

"I brought all the bags in and just tossed them on the couch." Nick explained as he moved away from the doorway so Justin could come in.

"Alright," Justin said as he entered Nick's place and took a look around the very Christmassy house. "Wow, you went all out with the decorations..."

Nick smiled, "Josh loves Christmas...he would throw a fit if I didn't decorate like every inch of this place." he said as he led Justin into the living room. 'He wont let me take any of it down until after New Years either."

Justin laughed. "Sounds like me," he said not really thinking about what he said. "I used to be the same way when I was a kid... heck, I still am... one holiday that I go all out is Christmas." They walked into the living room and Justin spotted the bags...and boy, there were a lot of them.

"I think these are yours..." Nick said as he pulled out about four different bags. One from the toy store and then a few more from various other stores.

"Yeah," Justin looked through them and nodded his head. "Looks about right." He then looked at Nick wanting to ask him so many questions but no idea where to start. Biting his lip as he stared at a picture of Nick and Josh up on the mantle piece he finally asked, "Why?" When his eyes met Nick's and saw the confusion and clarified. "I know you got my missed calls these past few years... why didn't you ever call me back?"

"I umm..." Nick sighed, "I wasn't sure what to say to you." he answered somewhat honestly.

Justin titled his head to side, not at all understanding. "What to say to me?" He questioned and then laughed. "You know you could give a guy a real fricking complex... I mean combined, we talked a lot more before that night than after that night." And it was understood just what 'night' Justin was referring to. "I mean if you're pissed at me or if i did something or said something to offend you...you could have at least said so instead of making me think and wonder all the different things that I could have done..."

"It's not like that...it's just that..."Nick sighed.”It doesn't' make any sense...you wouldn't understand."

Justin rubbed a hand over his face. "How do you know I wouldn't understand? You haven't even tried to keep in touch or contact," he said in a stressed whisper. "You didn't even bother to tell me much less explain anything..."

"I found out I was pregnant after that night...It was hard for me to talk to people." Nick stated, letting Justin think what he wanted with what he said.

Justin was thrown for a loop and he shook his head. "Say what?" he questioned. "I remember clearly you telling me that you hadn't been with...another..." He lowered his voice. "guy."

"I hadn't," Nick said point blank looking right at Justin.

That took a while for it to sink in for Justin to fully comprehend what the hell Nick was saying. "Oh," he said feeling like his knees were going to give out on him. His eyes found a picture of Josh hanging on the wall and... "OH!" It was a good thing that the couch was right there because his knees did give out on him. "Oh my god!" He buried his face in his hands.

Nick bit his lower lip, not sure what to say to make Justin feel better. He was scared too because he didn't think he could survive Justin knowing about Josh...and then wanting nothing to do with them. That's why he had never told him in the first place.

It took a few minutes for Justin to get his composure and when he finally uncovered his face it was visibly seen that Justin had shed a few tears though he tried to hide it. "You mean I had a kid running around for the past three years and you avoided me for the past three years because of Josh...I missed three years of his life..." Justin began to get angry and he was trying hard not to lose his temper. "Why the hell didn't you tell me!"

"You were happy and you had all this stuff going for you. I didn't want to screw up your life with a kid." Nick explained getting a little defensive because he could tell Justin was getting ticked.

"SO...?" Justin asked as he stood up and began to pace. "Nick... God... Shit!" He stopped pacing and stood right in front of Nick. "You should have told me! I'm not a fucking asshole.... what the hell did you think I would have done if you told me that you were pregnant with my kid?" He stopped talking when something occurred to him and tears welled up in his eyes. "Unless," he looked down and swallowed hard. "Unless, you didn't want... I mean... Okay... I get it; you avoided me for three years... I should have figured you didn't want anything to do with me." He ran his hand over his hair and looked away before he grabbed his things and slowly started to back away towards the door.

"It was the complete opposite!' Nick called out after thinking for a few seconds...but not enough to really think about what he was saying.

Justin stared at Nick like he made no sense, which basically was the case. "Did you ever stop to think why the hell I even approached you at the bar that night or why I've been calling you for the past three years?" He opened the door. "Just think about it..." With that he left.

CHAPTER SEVEN

It's been a year since that night at Nick's house but it's been a reoccurring dream for Justin, all too surreal. He thought about Josh and his heart melted because that brief time they did hang out at the mall had made him feel all fuzzy inside and when the little boy looked at him, it felt natural but then again, all too surreal. It had been a tough year for him and kept a very low profile and pretty much kept to himself. He didn't tell anybody that Josh was his, it wasn't his place. He even managed to stop talking to his band mates but they managed to always do something to get him to leave his place or have dinner with them. And in this case, leave his place and come to the Jive's annual Christmas party...and Justin really didn't want to be there. He was standing beside JC, sipping his drink quietly, and wished he was elsewhere maybe at home when he spotted Nick a few feet away. The Backstreet Boys just arrived and Justin felt his heart fall.

It was weird but things had been reversed over the last year. Instead of Justin calling him and leaving messages it was Nick calling and leaving messages on Justin's phone. He wasn't all that surprised when Justin never answered back, but he had hoped maybe things would be different. As he looked around at the different guests his heart skipped a beat when he saw Justin.

"He's here," he whispered to Brian who was standing next to him. Brian had been great through out the year. Never once had he said 'I told you so' even though he knew he probably wanted to.

Brian looked in the direction Nick pointed at and nodded his head. "Dear God," he whispered taking in Justin's appearance. "He looks like-"

"...Shit!" AJ supplied walking up behind Nick and Brian. "I think he could use a pair of my shades."

"Thanks Aje," Brian said and shook his head. "Go and try talking to him..." Brian looked back in Justin's direction and frowned. "Hey where did he go?"

"What...?" AJ questioned looking as well. "He was just there..."

"He's playing the disappearing trick...I know how this goes." Nick said with a sigh, feeling tears come to his eyes. "He hates me and it's all my fault...he should hate me really."

"He doesn't hate you," Kevin said gently. "He's just hurt."

"That isn't much better." Nick mumbled.

Brian squeezed Nick's shoulder. Nick had called him that night when Justin had left crying and rehashed everything that went on that day down to the second Nick picked up the phone to call him. "He just doesn't know why," and well, neither did he but this is what they were trying to fix here. "I'm sure once we or... you trap him and tie him up and you explain the situation... I'm sure he'll get it."

"Kinky," AJ said with a smirk. "Can I watch?" But mostly he was just trying to ease the tension and at least get Nick to crack a little bit of a smile.

Meanwhile Justin finished splashing water on his face and took in big gulps of air. He had to get out of here, he felt suffocated. He knew he couldn't go back to the party because Nick and his guys were going to be around so that cancels out trying to go out the front door or the back. He spotted a window and sighed happily that it didn't have any bars. He'll just have to make it up to his guys later but right now he wanted to get away from here as fast as possible. It took him a few minutes but he was up and out of the window heading to where he parked his car and on his way home.

Nick spent the next half an hour trying to find somebody...anybody who knew where Justin had gone. He finally spotted Chris and ran over to him. "Hey Chris...have you seen Justin?" he asked curiously not sure if the other man even wanted to talk to him or not.

Chris looked at Nick and gave him a big smile. "Dude... how's it going and how's your kid?" He asked. "Um, he should be here somewhere, last time I saw him he and JC were talking to some producer person..."

"JC doesn't know where he is either...we were hoping he as with you cuz you kinda disappeared too." Nick said with a laugh pulling back from the hug.

"Oh," Chris said with a thoughtful look on his face. "Sorry blondie," he said when he drew a blank. "The guy has been out of sorts all year and no knows what's gotten into him...but if anything one place you could always find him is in his room. I don't know what's so fascinating about it but he loves it there." Chris shrugged. "Would you like me to pass him along a message or something?"

"His room...like at his house?" Nick asked to clarify. He was currently staying at a hotel right now since he didn't have an LA home anymore...but he knew Justin had a house there.

Chris nodded. "Yup," he said with a shake of his head. "If he's not there... then the next best place I would think to look is…the rest of the planet."

“Thanks for the help," Nick laughed. With a wave he headed over to tell his guys he was leaving and then headed out of the party. It took him about twenty minutes to get to Justin's place and once he did he felt like he was going to throw up. He had practiced what he was going to say for a year now...but now he wasn't so sure if it was going to work. Parking his car he got up and knocked on Justin's door. Then thinking about it he decided to ring the bell too.

As soon as Justin had gotten home he stripped out of his clothes and took a cold shower. He was feeling too hot. And when he was finished he just threw on a pair of sweats, didn't bother with drying himself off or wearing boxers... he was home so who cared? He went in to the kitchen and made himself a tall glass of sweet ice tea with a lemon wedge on the rim of the glass and just as he was about to head on upstairs to his room that had a small recording studio unit attached he heard the door bell ring. Not thinking much about it because one of the guys probably noticed he had left and came to check up on him. He had his mind set to tell them that he was fine but just really tired. He padded his way over to the door, looking to all the world like he hadn't slept in ages, and answered the door with a glass of ice tea. The person he saw was not one of his guys much less someone he was expecting.

"Hey..." Nick said and when he was sure Justin was going to close the door on him he held his hand out. "Please...let me talk to you."

Justin sighed as he thought about it. "Okay, talk." He made no attempt to move or invite Nick inside.

"I'm sorry...for everything. I don't think I can even mention everything I'm sorry for because it would take too long. I was scared and had feelings for you that I didn't understand. I was only twenty years old...I was pregnant...I'm a man...I had no idea what to do about that and how anybody would react. I panicked and the only way I could think of acting was to run away and hide. I moved to Jamestown to live with my grandparents and made up this whole lie because I didn't want anybody to know the truth. Have you ever started a lie...that just gets bigger and bigger until there is no way to turn back?" he finished his rambles with a question, hoping what he said made some sort of sense.

Justin thought carefully about what he was just told and licked his dry lips. "I've lied Nick, plenty of times. And we all get scared and I know that having a child is a scary thing but... but it takes two people to make a baby and if you were scared you should have come to me. We could have been scared together. Who the hell are you to make such a big decision like that on your own without... and to continuously lie about it for three years... and God only knows how much longer, if ever, if I hadn't come looking for you. Would you have ever told me or just let me think that you hated my guts for that night for the rest of my life?"

"I don't know," Nick answered honestly tears coming to his eyes. He totally understood Justin being mad at him. If he was in Justin's position he would be down right pissed off and ready to kill. "I don't expect you to ever forgive me...and even if you don't forgive me...You can see Josh anytime you want to."

Justin shook his head he didn't know what it was about anymore, all he knew was that it hurt. "It's... not about forgiveness...it's just a lot of hurt and I missed so much..." he choked out as he moved away from the door and headed inside and was about to head up to his room where he had found solace all year through because of memories from that night but he didn't need that anymore. Instead he stopped himself and walked into the living room and sat down, whether Nick came in or not he didn't care. He took a sip of his ice tea and set the glass on the table.

Nick paused for a second but soon followed after Justin. He was thankful to see Justin drinking tea rather then something stronger. "Would you like to spend time with Josh...He knows about you being his father...and I explained to him well enough what happened. So he knows you're mad at me…so if you don't he won't be hurt." he explained, hoping Justin would want to still be with their son.

Justin just about had it. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He cursed under his breath more out of frustration than anything else. He looked at Nick, tired. "It has nothing to do with any of that. Here you are talking about forgiveness and Josh understanding and all that... great you know... but what about you? Huh? Us? Me? Have you once even tried to see or think if there might be anything between us, that maybe I would like to be a part of your life...be a constant in Josh's life? Like a family? Have you even asked me any of that? Forget family for now... but just... I don't know." Tears were flowing down Justin's cheeks.

"I didn't think you would want to because you're pissed at me." Nick said. "That's why I was taking that stance because I didn't think you would want to be with me but that at least you could be with Josh. *I* want there to be an us...I have NEVER felt the way I feel about you around anybody. Yeah, my body craves things but I haven't ONCE gone with another man because I knew he would remind me of you that night."

"Then why the hell didn't you just say it?" Justin asked, exasperated. "You need to stop assuming shit about me, damnit! I don't read minds, Nick, and yes, I'm pissed off but it doesn't mean anything not when the big picture is drawn out. I've liked you for so long, and I finally got the balls to come and talk to you with a little bit of help from some alcohol... and all this shit happens. I don't know what to think or what to feel."

Nick smiled just a little bit. "You really liked me...even that night. It wasn't just the alcohol?" he asked knowing he had been thinking for the longest time that it had just been the alcohol. "I just thought you wanted a fuck...cuz you don't settle down...that's what you said on that interview you did on my 21st birthday...the day I found out I was pregnant." he said not realizing he had admitted the main reason he didn't tell Justin...one he kinda forgot about.

"You're unbelievable," Justin laughed. "Oh man... “He sighed. "Remember that time we played basketball against each other for the first time in Europe?" He questioned.

Nick simply nodded his head, not sure what Justin was getting at.

"I've liked you since then," Justin said. "In fact, you're the one that made me realize that I was bi. You weren't just a fuck for me, you were a fricking fantasy come to life... I haven't been with another guy after that night much less even looked at one and before that, every guy I've hooked up with was somewhat of a look a like to you, it's sad I know but I was stupid and really wanted you. What I said in that interview... was true... I was twenty Nick... but if you told me, don't you think that I would have done anything and everything to be there for you, to be with you? I take responsibilities for everything I do and... Doesn't every descent human being do that same?"

"I don't know," Nick answered honestly. "We didn't really know each other THAT well at the time. I mean we were friends and stuff...but I don't' know if we had the relationship to know how somebody would take news like me being pregnant. I mean you didn't even know i could have kids." Nick sighed running a hand through his hair. "But I should have told you even if I knew the result was going to be awful...because it was my job to tell you and I didn't."

Justin nodded his head in agreement. "Now what?" He questioned, not really looking at Nick but at the precipitation of water from his iced tea slid down the side of the glass and onto his coffee table. "Would you, um... like something to drink?"

"Some of that would be nice if you have some more," Nick said nodding at Justin's iced tea glass.

Justin nodded. "Anything to eat?" He asked as he got up to head on in to the kitchen. "I think I have some donuts and Chinese take out I ordered earlier but hadn't touched."

"No thanks," Nick said following Justin. Once in the kitchen with him he decided to answer Justin's other question. "I'm not sure exactly what to do next...besides just try us. It's obvious we both really like each other...and we definitely have the chemistry...so I want to try."

Justin took out the pitcher of iced tea he'd made and headed over to the cupboard, taking a glass out before filling it and then handing it over to Nick. "Yeah?" he asked setting the pitched back in the fridge before leaning his back against the counter, arms folded across his chest as he watched Nick. "You really wanna see if this works out?"

"I do," Nick said looking Justin right in the eye before taking a sip of his drink.

Justin smiled. "I'd really like that a lot," he said and then looked around his kitchen and remembered telling Nick that night that he would give him a tour later. "Um," he scratched the back of his head. "Would you like a tour?"

"I think we can wait on the tour." Nick said before pulling Justin in for a passionate kiss. Yeah, they would have the rest of their lives for a tour.

EPILOGUE

2006

"Here we go once again," Nick laughed as he stood with the rest of the guys waiting for their cue to head out onto the Jay Leno stage.

"I wonder when he'll get sick of us?" Howie laughed.

"The moment you guys stop having something worth talking about," Justin piped up especially around Christmas time, he laughed.

"Oh hush," Brian said as he wished Leighanne was there but she had a family thing she had to go to, leaving Baylee with him but at least Baylee had Josh to keep him company and Justin to watch them.

"Hey, that's not fair," AJ stated when both Baylee and Josh attacked his G.I. Joe. "That's like, two against one...!"

"Boys, behave," Howie said and then looked at Justin. "You sure you can handle three kids?"

"Hey, you're taking the big hairy one with you out there," Justin pointed to the set and smiled sweetly at AJ.

They were just coming back from the first commercial break and Jay Leno smiled at the camera. "It's been a tradition for the past couple years to have certain people be the guest at this time of the year, don't know why and I'm not gonna wonder either. With no further adieu… I give you the Backstreet Boys!"

"Time to go," Brian said tugging on the back of AJ's t-shirt when their cue was up.

"I know G.I. Joe is fun and all but Jay might get jealous." Nick laughed as they all headed out onto the stage and did the normal hug and sit down routine.

"It's great to be back after another year," Kevin said to Jay and the audience.

Howie nodded his head in agreement, "Yeah it is...been a busy year too."

Nick glanced to the side of the stage where he could actually see his son playing with Baylee and Justin. He wished he could be back there playing with him rather then doing this, but that would come later.

Jay smiled and agreed to everything. "Yeah, it's like we haven't seen each other in ages... so instead of me asking you Gentlemen what's new... why don't you tell me," Leno said, "We'll start off with Kevin first."

Kevin laughed. "You're getting lazy with us there, Leno..." he shook his head. "But, as you may know... I've been dabbing into a bit of acting and Broadway with Chicago and I'm planning on doing a bit more of it...so yeah...the New Year is going to be something." The audience cheered and he turned to look at Howie.

"And with me, I'm just continuing to do the Dorough-Lupus fundraisers, and my little real estate bid... kind of working on a solo project, a Latin-American CD thing," Howie shrugged and smiled when the audience cheered to that as well.

"I'm doing the same as Howie...working more with my Johnny No Name foundation and working on some solo stuff." AJ said with a smile and got the same cheers as everybody else.

"I'm just doing the Daddy thing." Nick laughed and then blushed when he got a bunch of 'awwws' from the group. "But I'm also thinking about doing a solo type CD with my boyfriend." Hearing that the audience went wild.

It took about five minutes to get the audience to quiet down and the guys were laughing. "Well, geez, warn us next time you decide to tell us something about you and your boyfriend," Jay said with a laugh. "That way I can put some ear plugs on or something. How about you Brian?"

"I released my solo Christian album this year," Brian said with a chuckle as the audience cheered. "And been doing mini-promotional tours for that and working with my Healthy Heart Organization."

"Very nice, very nice," Jay said taking out stuff that the Boys were involved in, like CD's and posters and pamphlets for organizations... and placed them on the top of his desk so that the audience can see. "But speaking of relationships... what's everyone's status?" He laughed.

"Married," Kevin replied.

"Ditto," Brian said.

"Taken," Howie smiled.

"Single," AJ pouted. And the crowed awwwed.

"That's because he's so cute...that all the girls are fighting over him and he can't pick." Nick laughed patting AJ on the back since he was sitting in front of him.

Kevin laughed at that, "Yeah...or he's looking in all the wrong places."

AJ pouted some more. "You guys are not helping...but I know I'll find the right person when it's the right time." he said with a smile now since the pout had just been playful anybody. Quite frankly he was happy being single because it gave him more time to work on himself and get closer to who he really wanted to be.

"So, Nickolas," Jay said. "How are things with you and Mr. Timberlake... and how is he?" He asked.

Nick laughed, "Well why don't you ask him yourself since he's right back stage." he knew Justin was probably cursing him right now and that he would get it later when they got home but he didn't care.

'Really," Jay said standing up. "Well, Justin come on out, will you!"

Justin sighed. Thanks Nick, he mentally said. But he couldn't leave the kids alone and he didn't trust anyone there to watch them so he got a hold of their hands, telling them that they were going to join their daddies on the set. SO holding their hands all three walked out in to the lights... and the audience cheered and awwed. Baylee ran to his father and plopped on his lap showing him what his GI Joe could do while Josh ran to Nick doing the same.

"Hey," he said, laughing and shaking Jay's hand.

"See you ask for Justin and the whole crew comes out." Kevin laughed at the somewhat shocked look on Jay's face.

Jay shook Justin's hand and let him sit in the chair a stage hand had brought out. "This is a surprise, how are YOU doing?" he asked doing what Nick had suggested...and asked him, himself.

"Never been better," Justin replied with a smile as he looked at Nick and then at Josh. "I couldn't have asked for a better year."

"Of course, with the new second solo album out," Jay said, "And a tour that will be continuing on to next year..."

Justin nodded his head and shared a look with Nick and when he got the okay from Nick he added, "...yeah, and Josh getting a new brother or sister..."

"Exactly," Jay said and had to do a double take. "Wait, what?"

Brian laughed. "You got that on camera, right...?" He questioned the cameraman about Jay's reaction.

"Priceless," AJ replied, laughing too.

Nick laughed and then smiled big. "I'm pregnant again...due in July."

Jay's face went from one of shock to one of pure happiness for the guys. "That is great congratulations!"

The audience went crazy saying their own congratulations.

Nick just took Justin's hand in his and kissed the top of Josh's head and had to think of this as one of the best moments of his life. Here he was able to shout to the world that he was pregnant again and that he already had the best family a man could ever ask for. It may have taken six years but he finally got the Christmas he always wanted.

"And before we all call it a wrap for tonight's show," Jay said, "I have one question I would like to ask. With you and Justin already having a son together and another baby on the way, have you both thought about marriage?"