<i>
THE GUY'S GUIDE TO
GEEK GIRLS"
</i>
a
response to A GIRL'S
GUIDE TO GEEK GUYS written
in fun by Lisa
Michaud
------------------------------------------------------------
This
essay is copyrighted
by Lisa Michaud,
©1996, 1999. It may
be saved,
downloaded, or
distributed in email
or paper form
providing that the
author's name and
this notice remain
attached to the
essay and no profit
is obtained from the
distribution. (Any
profit obtained from
this essay without
prior consent of the
author is a
violation of
copyright.) Please
link to this essay
at www.eecis.udel.edu/~masterma/GuideToGeekGirls.html
rather than
reproduce it on
another webpage. Do
not alter the text
of any copy you make
in any way.
Questions should be
directed to the
author at
[email protected].
Share and enjoy. ------------------------------------------------------------
<i>
Why the Geek Girl?
</i> So you
realized that you're
never going to meet
Kim Basinger.
Moreover, the pretty
thing in your
Sociology class or
the leggy new
secretary in the
office has given you
the cold shoulder
three weeks in a
row. You're feeling
fairly dejected. You
obviously haven't
considered dating a
geek girl.
Unlike
the cute things
you've been chasing,
geek girls learned
long ago that
physical attributes
aren't as important
as the person
underneath. On the
Internet, they can
participate in
great, anonymous
cybercommunities,
they can IRC, they
can MUD, they can
email; they can
interact with people
intimately without
ever meeting them
face to face. They
are more attracted
to intelligence than
testosterone; they
don't need football
players - in fact,
most of them find
them to be a
turnoff. Most
importantly, they
like fellow geeks -
prefer them, even.
With a geek girl, a
geek guy has a
decided advantage.
They understand
them; they are
understood by them.
This could actually
work.
<i>
Where to Find Geek
Girls </i> Well,
every geek girl
knows that the
Internet is not just
a tool. It's a
communications
device. Most geek
girls have a very
active online life;
that may be the only
part of their life
that is active right
now. Look for them
on the 'net, or
even, if you're
brave, in the lab;
but be careful. A
geek girl might not
be as comfortable
with you in person
as she is online;
sometimes it's best
to try the
'impersonal' route
first.
<i>
Attracting the Geek
Girl </i> Geek
girls are not
attracted to
neanderthals. In
fact, surviving out
there amongst the
net.tomcats, they
have developed
rather finely-honed
defenses. Therefore,
an email saying,
"Me Tarzan, you
Jane," will
most likely be met
with a spout of
flame the likes of
which you have
probably never seen
before, and if you
can't get into your
asbestos suit fast
enough, it's not our
fault.
Therefore,
the brash approach
is not always the
best tactic. Before
flooding the
bandwidth with your
testosterone, it is
always good to
acquaint yourself
with the geek girl
in question and
familiarize yourself
with her haunts.
Read her favorite
newsgroups for a
while; verse
yourself in her
interests. When you
feel ready, venture
forth a post or two,
but be careful;
sound intelligent.
If it's been said
before, don't repeat
it. If it's off
topic, don't mention
it. Most
importantly, if it's
flamebait, KEEP YOUR
MOUTH SHUT. One of
the quickest ways to
turn off a geek girl
is to show yourself
unknowledgeable of
net.etiquette.
Twinks need not
apply.
If she
likes what you said,
the geek girl may
write back to you in
private email.
Private email
conversations are a
great way to get to
know a geek girl,
but do not get ahead
of yourself! Thanks
to the joys of
email, the geek girl
has had to fend off
as many come-ons as
a blonde bombshell
who frequents
singles bars. Keep
the conversation
neutral until she
changes it.
<i>
Talking to the Geek
Girl </i> There
are many topics of
conversation the
geek girl may be
interested in
discussing. One of
the most popular
ones is Science
Fiction; geek girls
are often avid SF
fans, and many will
gleefully analyze
the latest B5
episode for hours
with you; however,
there are a few
things to keep in
mind where the geek
girl take on Science
Fiction is
concerned:
[1]
Ivanova is God. Voyager
got it right: a
woman's place IS in
the Captain's chair.
Or in Engineering.
Or anywhere else
that requires her to
use her brain
instead of just
being a 'nurturing
figure.' Harry
Kim is DARNED CUTE.
Corollary: Tom Paris
is a PIG.
[2]
The 'spandex in
space' phenomenon is
evil unless it's
Picard in his riding
pants. Mulder in his
Speedo, while not
being a space
phenomenon so to
speak, is still also
quite acceptable.
[3]
Every geek girl has
had a crush on Han
Solo or Luke
Skywalker. Most of
us, both. Many of us
still do, secretly. Episodes
that explore a
character's inner
feelings are just as
important, if not
more so, than ones
where they go around
shooting things. Geek
girls like Spock
better than Kirk.
Don't ask, it just
IS. "Nice
butt."
[4]
Geek girls stick
together, and look
for themselves in
their entertainment.
They will pick up on
the brainy computer
whiz kid actually
being a girl for a
change. They will
cheer when a woman
becomes Chief of
Engineering. If you
know what's good for
you, you will cheer,
too. "Would
someone get this
walking carpet out
of my way??!"
Geek
Girl Appearance So
you finally get to
meet your geek girl
in person. What does
she look like? Most
geek girls have
low-maintenance
appearances. After
all, their online
life is often more
active than their RL
existence, so why
bother? More
important, however,
is the comfort
issue. They want to
be comfortable; and,
in the end, someone
who prefers being
comfortable to
'looking good' is
probably someone
who's a lot more
comfortable to be
around.
Jeans
are the staple
element of the geek
girl wardrobe.
Glasses, usually
strong, are also a
familiar touch. The
hair can be any
length, but in
almost all cases, it
is OUT OF THE WAY.
They don't dress for
success. They dress
for comfort, for
long hours in the
lab, for
convenience. This is
not to say that geek
girls aren't capable
of looking nice;
they can be quite
striking when the
mood suits them.
Most of the time,
however, they are
under fluorescent
lighting and bent
over the monitor, so
makeup, suits, and
high heels are
utterly pointless.
Not that they aren't
anyway, of course.
<i>
Maintaining the Geek
Girl </i> Once
you've got her, the
next step is keeping
her. To do this,
just remember that
your geek girl has a
few special things
about her that
distinguish her from
other women. All
women like gifts,
but the geek girl's
tastes are
different. The
average woman likes
flowers, but the
geek girl is not
average, and would
probably rather not
be bothered with
something so
transient. A Star
Trek mousepad would
last much longer.
Thinking of getting
her a necklace? Why
not a new sound card
instead? A makeup
table would not get
much use, but a new
computer desk would
probably see her
more than you do.
Use your brain when
choosing the gifts;
that's what she
likes you for,
anyway. [5]
In
closing, remember
that a geek girl is
a rewarding choice
for a happy life.
Unencumbered by many
of the more
ridiculous of
society's trappings,
she is a comfortable
person who uses her
brain and who wants
to be with someone
who does the same.
If you qualify, a
geek girl may be for
you!
|