The Dead Milkmen Eat Your Paisley * (p) 1986 Fever Records * (c) 1986 Golf Pro Music (BMI) * Members: o Joe Jack Talcum (Guitar, Vocals) o Rodney Anonymous Melloncamp (Vocals) o Dave Blood (Bass) o Dean Clean (Drums) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. (2:38) - Where The Tarantula Lives 2. (1:38) - Air Crash Museum 3. (1:48) - KKSuck2 4. (1:45) - Fifty Things 5. (2:27) - Happy Is 6. (1:45) - Beach Party Vietnam 7. (2:21) - I Hear Your Name 8. (4:30) - Two Feet Off The Ground 9. (2:43) - The Thing That Only Eats Hippies 10. (1:45) - Six Days 11. (2:00) - Swampland Of Desire 12. (2:07) - Take Me Apart 13. (2:48) - Earwig 14. (1:53) - Moron 15. (5:12) - The Fez 16. (2:41) * Vince Lombardi Service Center ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 - Where The Tarantula Lives Holland is ruled by midgets The Pope owns CBS The subway cars have been equipped with bars And they're cloning Rudolph Hess Samantha Fox has gone frigid The President's painted green Jesus Christ has been frozen in ice But he still makes the scene Everybody wants to know what gives But I know where the Tarantula lives Jim Bakker got eaten by wombats The Fever's spread to town Ol' Doris Day has been taken away Has anybody seen my downs? Popeye got killed in combat Donny and Marie went punk B.F. Skinner has eaten my dinner There's a body in that trunk Everybody wants to know what gives But I know where the Tarantula lives Uncle Bob caught fire The protesters are on strike Mr. Green Jeans is acting obscene 'Cause his Jello has been spiked Honesty is a liar The truth is in the sink Auntie Bess says "I must confess Now what do you all think?" Everybody wants to know what gives But I know where the Tarantula lives (x3) (I know where) Everybody wants to know what gives But I know where the Tarantula lives 2 - Air Crash Museum Went out to feed the cattle And to my surprise My lawn was full of bodies Just a gatherin' up the flies A big ol' jet liner Had dropped from out of the sky Well I was so darn happy that I couldn't believe my eyes We're gonna stuff 'em Put 'em on display 'tween Patsy Cline and Buddy Holly Loadin' up my tractor Gonna take the bodies inside Betty Lou will bring the sawdust And I've got the formaldehyde I'm callin' up my neighbours Tell 'em all to drop by A body stuffin' party And we'll bake some kidney pie We're gonna stuff 'em Put 'em on display 'tween Patsy Cline and Buddy Holly We'll have our own air crash museum People lined for miles just to see 'em Jim Croce's in the corner The Big Bopper's by the stairs Ricky Nelson's in the kitchen But nobody cares 3 - KKSuck2 No words. 4 - Fifty Things Paul told us all he's gonna have a baby But Jeanie said "Paul can't do that" So Paul got mad and left in a hurry Now Jeanie's sure he forgot his hat I've got fifty things to do But I'll get back to you (and) Somebody left a body in the basement No I'm not sure just a' who it is But Tamara went down there and saw it this morning She says it kinda looks like her Uncle Jim I've got fifty things to do But I'll get back to you (and) No I won't do your dishes No I won't clean up this mess No I haven't got any pills No I haven't got any hash No I won't do your dishes I won't clean up this goddamn mess Chuck got up and made a cup of coffee Stepped on a roach and went back to bed When Tina got up she saw the roach "Is this for breakfast?" is what she said I've got fifty things to do But I'll get back to you (and) Pat's comin' over about 2:30 Danny'll be here 'bout quarter to four If one more person comes to see me Gonna have to get a revolvin' door No I haven't seen your skateboard I haven't seen your Black Flag patch No I haven't seen your records I haven't seen any of that No I haven't seen your skateboard I haven't seen your Black Flag patch Barbara I'm sorry if you were unhappy But you can't say I didn't try So many things I wanted to do So many things, but such little time I've got fifty things to do But I'll get back to you Fifty things to do But I'll get back to you 5 - Happy Is Happy is the bride The sun shines upon Happy is the corpse The rain falls down upon You say I'm happy Ya' know that can't be true Cause I won't be happy 'till I annihilate you Like some worm that crawls on the ground Like someone we don't want around You're the unwanted relative at the picnic Like some worm that crawls on the ground Like someone we don't want around Happy is the bride The sun shines upon Happy is the corpse The rain falls down upon You say I'm happy Ya' know that that's a lie Cause I won't be happy 'till I see you die Like some river they had to pollute Like some mad dog we gotta shoot We're gonna have to end your misery Like some river they had to pollute Like some mad dog we gotta shoot Happy are the children Playin' in the sun Happy is my wife Her day of work is done You say I'm happy Ya' know that can't be true Cause I won't be happy 'till I annihilate you Like some worm that crawls on the ground Like someone we don't want around You're the unwanted relative at the picnic Like some worm that crawls on the ground Like someone we don't want around Happy is the bride The sun shines upon Happy is the corpse The rain falls down upon 6 - Beach Party Vietnam It's a beach party Vietnam Surfin' with the Viet Cong Cookin' hot dogs with napalm A beach party Vietnam Frankie and Annette were Layin' on the sand When Frank got a letter From his Uncle Sam It said: Get Moon Dog and All your friends You're all invited to a Beach party Vietnam Surfin' with the Viet Cong Cookin' hot dogs with napalm A beach party Vietnam - Hey Frankie, aren't you gonna give me youur class ring? - Oh I'm afraid I can't do that, Annette - Why not? - 'Cause I don't have any arms! (AH!) Beach party Vietnam Surfin' with the Viet Cong Cookin' hot dogs with napalm A beach party Vietnam Annette, she wants Frankie's ring Frankie wants Annette's thing They're layin' on the West Coast There's gonna be a wiener roast Beach party Vietnam Surfin' with the Viet Cong Cookin' hot dogs with napalm A beach party Vietnam 7 - I Hear Your Name Across the sea across the sea That's where your hand was takin' me Goin' to places that I've never been I hear your name Someone's calling your name I better go now Someone's calling your name I thought I saw you in a department store You turned the corner and it wasn't you I thought I saw you walkin' on the sidewalk I blew my horn but you were someone else I hear your name Someone's calling your name I better go now Someone's calling your name Open a window (x2) Walk through the windows Walkin' through windows... 8 - Two Feet Off The Ground Illusions are real So just feel the way you feel It's time to unwind Well just relax, you'll feel fine Light up a smoke (do do do do do) Cause life is no joke (do do do do do) Shake your head and hear the sound Take another look around Nothing's lost that isn't found You're just two feet off the ground Green army men They're comin' in from the sky Let's take a trip through the bakery and Tell us what you can't see and Light up a smoke (do do do do do) Cause life is no joke (do do do do do) Shake your head and here the sound Take another look around Nothing's lost that isn't found You're just two feet off the ground (x2) Repeat and vary ad nauseum. 9 - The Thing That Only Eats Hippies Wendel brought it to life in his guest room bath tub It was a special project for his 4-H club But it broke loose out in the middle of the night And now it's eatin' flower children left and right All the punks are gonna scream yippee 'Cause it's the thing that only eats hippies First it cruised on out to Malibu And ate a couple a' surfers Who where too tough to chew So it slithered it's way Out to old Irvine And ate a couple a' hippies And they tasted just fine Now its got a sweet tooth for long hair So Bob and Greg and Grant you should beware Followin' the Dead is how it gets it's kicks Shame it wasn't born in 1966 Listens to the music and begins to sway Dreamin' acid dreams of a hippie souffle Hey hey hey What do they taste like - Some kind a' treat? How many hippies can this monster eat? It ate Stills and Nash before they could shout And then it chewed on David Crosby But it spit him out All the punks are gonna scream yippee 'Cause it's the thing that only eats hippies There it goes Gonna send 'em all to that big Folk Festival in the sky So long suckers! 10 - Six Days I've been to Phoenix So Goddamn hot 110 in the shade I didn't like it a lot I've been to L.A. So sunny and bright So clean and good for you It don't feel right Six days we'll be away from here We'll steal a car, hijack a plane I've been to Denver 8 miles high I didn't like it And you know why Deep down in New Orleans We met with guns Those people got a weird idea Of what is fun Six days maybe New Mexico Or would it all just be the same I've seen El Paso Ain't goin' back Spit across the border And those brothers spit back I loved it in Austin I wanted to stay Cheap rent and Lone Star Beer Lots a' places to play Six days we'll be away from here We'll steal a car, hijack a plane In just six days (x3) 11 - Swampland Of Desire I will trim your fir trees And I will light your fire And I will wrestle alligators In your swampland of desire And I will come upon you Like lightning from above And I will plant my feet into Your quagmire of love Quagmire of love (x2) I will trim your fir trees And I will light your fire And I will wrestle alligators In your swampland of desire So here's to my little sunbelt queen I'll take you places that you've never been And I will show you things That you have never seen And I will tell you all about Martin Sheen I will trim your fir trees And I will light your fire And I will wrestle alligators In your swampland of desire And I will come upon you Like lightning from above And I will plant my feet into Your quagmire of love I will trim your fir trees And I will light your fire And I will wrestle alligators In your swampland of desire 12 - Take Me Apart After two years And two hundred thousand tears To have it end this way The people on the hill I know they're up there still 'Cause we were giants in those days And I was always the one you said Could never adjust Well look at me now girl And eat my dust - because You always got what you wanted Right from the start Now finish the job Take me apart The people at the college God they laughed and shook their heads They remember us livin', but They would have loved to seen us dead And you were always the one who said I could never get along Well look at me now girl 'Cause I'm still strong - you know You always got what you wanted Right from the start Now finish the job Take me apart I stole I lied I cried For you I nearly died For you You always got what you wanted Right from the start Now finish the job Take me apart (x3) You always got what you wanted Right from the start Now finish the job Take me apart 13 - Earwig Your ears fell off in the parking lot Your blood's still drippin', God, I hope it clots You say you're okay but we know you're not Your eyes went crossed do you see spots? Well I'm not sayin' that you're gonna die I just might be hintin' that you'll feel a little ill And I guess we've all learned a lesson And I guess we'll all get a little thrill Your hands fell off and then your mind eroded Your arms fell asleep and then your lungs corroded Shoulders slumped forward then your heart exploded Looked pretty gross so we all got loaded Well I'm not sayin' that you're gonna die I just might be hintin' that you won't be around And you can go ahead and sell all your records 'Cause you got an appointment 6 feet underground And You got an earwig It's crawling towards your brain And you got an earwig The glorious pain Your mind went blank about a week ago Your hair fell out but you didn't know Ya' might wanna relax and take it slow 'Cause in a couple a' days you might begin to glow Well I'm not sayin' that you're gonna die I just might be hintin' that you may puke a lot And could ya' pay me that money ya' owe me Ya' know I really hate to put you on the spot 'Cause You got an earwig It's crawling towards your brain And you got an earwig The fashionable pain Well I'm not sayin' that you're gonna die I just might be hintin' that you'll bee a little ill And I guess we've all learned our lesson And I guess we'll all get a little thrill 14 - Moron Hangin' out in the commode Listening to Depeche Mode You look like some kind of toad Why are you a moron? Got a skateboard "gnarly rad" With money from your mom and dad Take a bath 'cause you smell bad Why are you a moron? Walkin' down on old South Street Say "Hello" to the kids you meet If knowing you is such a treat Then why are you a moron? Got kicked out of public school Make a waste of our gene pool Face it asshole, you're a fool Why are you a moron? "I'm starin' at a wall doin' nothin' at all Gotta get out a' here I could use some beer Wish I could get some beer I could use some beer tonight" In and out of trendy clubs With a pair of dayglow gloves You're the only one you love Why are you a moron? Tell us you've got somethin' to say Then bore us with your anarchy We just wish you'd go away Why are you a moron? A trendy loser's what you are It's your scene and your it's czar I'd like to see you covered with tar Why are you a moron? Creeps like you should be wiped out You've got a face just like a trout Listen to everybody shout Why are you a moron? "I'm followin' the trends 'cause I wanna have some friends. I wanna be somebody. Don't wanna be nobody, I wanna be somebody. I wanna be with someone tonight" I swear that you are Hitler's clone You spread disease wherever you roam Got the brains of a garden gnome Why are you a moron? Voted for Reagan not once but twice Think that Jerry Falwell's nice Do you keep your brains on ice? Why are you a moron? In the end you're all alone No one calls you on the phone Got no job you've got no home Why are you a moron? Hangin' out in the commode Listenin' to Depeche Mode You look like some kind of toad You're just a fuckin' moron! "I'm freezed up inside. All my brain cells have died. I'm gonna get out a' here. I'm gonna get out a' here. I'm gonna get out a' here. I'm gonna get out a' here tonight." 15 - The Fez Hello, Colin; it's the fez! Who has angered the volcano god? (x4) You have angered the volcano god! I'd like to help you son, but you smell like a goat (ha ha ha ha) Chonga the goat-boy's in the village again (x2) He's frightening the women and he's raping the men because Chonga the goat-boy's in the village again! Excuse me while I puke and die (ha ha ha ha) Know what pisses me off, huh? You know what What really gets me mad in this life? It's the goddamn periodic table of elements. They've got 109 or so naturally occuring elements. Then they've got 10 or 11 of these Non-naturally occuring man-made elements. They give them names like Einsteinium, Californium, and Nobelium. And what I want to know is If they're man-made Just how the _hell_ can they be elements, huh? Know what's bothering my mind? There's a time for taking And a time for giving But ripping off the Butthole Surfers Is how we make our living (ha ha ha ha) 16 - Vince Lombardi Service Center No words.