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The Write-Your-Own-Verse-To-Moron Competition
Click here for the entries so far.
The Idea
Well, this is my attempt at a competition. I know I'll get no entries,
but damn it, I'm starting it up anyway. It's a very simple concept. Simply write a
new verse to Moron. Maybe if we get this on-line recording thing going, we can
record a version with new verses. But I'm getting ahead of myself...
The Rules
1) Ideally it should satisfy these four simple points:
1.1) First three lines should rhyme.
1.2) And have 7 syllables. This one's flexible as the song itself breaks this rule.
1.3) Last line should be "Why are you a moron?" or something similar.
1.4) It should rip on something that you hate, or someone that is a moron.
2) My decision is final. Unless I can get the band members to judge the comp for me.
3) You may enter as many times as you like, but please be original and you'll have more chance
of winning.
The Examples
Here are two examples, first a verse from the song, and second, one of my own which is a
modern adaptation of the first (which also rips off Brat In The Frat... OK, so I'm not feeling
original today). I'll list all the entries at the end.
Hangin' out in the commode
Listenin' to Depeche Mode
You look like some kind of toad
Why are you a moron?
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Hangin' out listening to Creed
Surely it makes your ears bleed
Hope you don't decide to breed
Why are you a moron?
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You get the idea. I hope yours are better than mine.
The Prizes?
Not much - a CDR of any album I have in original form. Unfortunately, this
excludes Big Lizard and Not Richard, but does include the very impossible to find
Soul Rotation. Seeing as most DM stuff is out of print (or very difficult to
obtain), I figured this would be a good idea for any of the newer fans who simply
can't find the albums anywhere. I'll even copy all the artwork and stuff for you and send it
from all the way over here in Australia.
For those who have everything, I'll try work something out, but you might just want to
have a shot and get in the spirit of the thing anyway. And of course, you win respect
from your peers, and the immortality that recognition on this site will grant you. ;)
Enter
The Entries
From Lydia Crowe:
Squat and stout with temper short
Make me write a book report
With your card club you cavort
Why are you a moron?
Talk in lisping perky tones
Make me remove my headphones
Why don't you leave me alone?
Why are you a moron?
Giggle like an airhead teen
I pity those who have your genes
I hope weasels eat your spleen
You're just a fucking moron!
From Bucky Lewis:
Hey where did Jello go?
Still you're at the DK show
His band has sold out you know
Why are you a moron?
From Wes Weir:
Dirty, smelly, take a bath
Stupid hippie can't do math
Hope you feel some of God's wrath
Why are you a moron?
Drivin' fast in your red car
You just left drunk from the bar
Hope you do not make it far
Why are you a moron?
From Justin Daniel:
For the uninitiated, Justin's entries are dedicated "to the South African Test
cricket team who we just took to the cleaners 3-0 and will do the same on their
home turf. Go Aussies."
Shaun Pollock should have pulled the pin,
Fielding's as shit as your batting
You bowl like you've been drinking gin,
What a team of Morons.
Came here & thought you had a chance,
Brett Lee's thunderbolts made you dance,
Tell me you didn't shit your pants,
What a team of morons.
From Tom Chalifour:
You shower in your underwear
And show off all your back hair
You got a head shaped like a pear
Why are you a moron?
From Wes Weir:
Walk around like a meathead
You ate three bullets of lead
Wonder why you aren't dead
Why are you a moron?
From Rodd Stenberg:
Rodd's second entry is dedicated to local (Perth, West Australia) television
"identity" Basil Zempilas. Who is a moron.
Acting like you're some kind of princess
Bitching and always making mess
I want to kill you I must confess
Why are you a moron?
Basil I see you on my TV screen
I hope your balls contract gangrene
The biggest fuckhead I've ever seen
A spike I'd put your head on?
From Josh:
Tired of living in this place
I can't stand the human race
No intelligance just saving face
Why are we all morons?
For weekly checks we waste our time
Or live in poverty in dirt and slime
Forced to walk in corporate lines
Why are we all morons?
From Bucky Lewis:
Hey what's that on your arm?
Why do you do yourself harm?
That cut is causing me alarm
Why are you a moron?
From Mike Brennan:
Have no luck at getting chicks
So you jack off to porno flicks
I think you're a total dick
Why are you a moron?
From Ryan Espinosa:
Pay big bucks to see Creed play
I dont know but that sounds gay
All that I have to say is
Why are you a moron?
You saw Elvis at the zoo
Singing rock and roll part two
So did I, so whats new?
Why are you a moron?
Lost in space or so lets hope
You really are a fucking dope
How the hell can you cope with
Being such a moron?
From Michael Rupage:
Feed the homeless thats the game
She's getting bigger all the same
Sally Struthers is her name
Why are you a moron
Every day I curse my life
Drinking as I beat my wife
Please won't someone end this strife
Why are you a moron
From Steve Gazzo:
Steve's are based on recent American politics... The current president being such an
obvious target!
Make us pray on live TV
Make your cash illegally
Behave nice so dad can see
God, you're such a moron
Jump on for the right-to-life
Start some wars to cause us strife
Fuck up speeches like Barney Fife
We're stuck with this moron
From Mike Brennan:
I hate my sister
I hate my sister
I hate my sister
Yeah, she's a moron
From Your New Best Friend:
Play pocket ball, hey everyones lookin'
Asking girls, "hey whatcha' cookin"
I saw you with that pumpkin
Yeah your just a fuckin moron!
Walk like you have saddle-stitch
Scratching at your crotch you itch
Scream aloud "that pumpkins a cheating bitch"
You vegi-sexual moron!
From Cult Leader Lettuce:
Feeling lonely late at night,
Feel the razor in my sight,
I hope this cut will shed some light,
That I was just a fucking moron!
Stick a needle in your arm,
Wish you could stop doing harm,
But soon you're gonna buy the farm,
You're just a fucking moron.
From Mike Geoffrey:
Going down to freakshow street
Dress up like the ones you meet
If being original is such a treat
Than why are you a moron?
Trendy friends is what you got
You think your scary- but your not
If trends are dumb and you are smart
Than why are you a moron?
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