Realmfun2

Funnels II
Amazon warriors lay in the center of the village, bodies strewn about in the early morning sun. The carnage of the night before had taken it's toll on a good portion of the tribe. Some of the brave warriors had tried to retreat to their huts, only to fall to the ground before they had reached their place of solace. Others had tried gallantly to crawl, but never to make it beyond the threshold.
"Serves them right," Gabrielle said as she took stock of the aftermath of Xena's drinking contest. She noticed an Amazon here and there that would stir for a brief moment, or fall off of a table that they had passed out on.
The nagging headache that the bard had been ignoring had come back in full throbbing force. She slowly rubbed her temples and squinted her eyes at the sun, which seemed to be brighter than it should have been.
The birds were singing and the late spring morning sun had warmed the air. A breeze passed through the village, bringing along with it the brutal aftermath of the party in the form of the sour scent of ale, wine, port, and the consequences that overindulgence in them can bring to one's body. Well, actually, it wasn't to just one body, it was more like most of the tribe.
That same breeze had passed Gabrielle and she inhaled deeply, and almost instantly, she turned pale.
The Queen of the Amazons made a hasty retreat back behind the barn, barely able to contain herself.
Now, you see, it wasn't just the scents of the morning that sent our dear Gabby reeling behind the barn heave-hoing whatever was left of her insides. Oh, no, it seems that the Amazon Queen was dealing with a hangover herself.

Xena had finally righted herself properly atop of Argo and was hidden, at a safe distance-- for her, in the treeline along the village. She had picked up on the breeze that was heading Gabrielle's way and was thankful that she wasn't downwind of it. A broad grin took to the Warrior's face when the bard clapped a hand to her mouth and ran behind the barn.
"Gee Argo, I do believe that Gabrielle's having a bit of a problem there. Should we go help her?"
Argo's reply was a low snort.
"Hmm, you're right. But maybe I could use this to my advantage."
The sounds of Gabrielle's retching prompted Xena to do what any good friend would do. She began going through her options, like going over there and comforting her friend in her time of need, and nixing it. A small chuckle escaped her, turning into all out laughter.
Xena dismounted Argo and began to stalk towards the barn to get a better view. She knew this was taking advantage of her best friend's small misfortune, but this opportunity was just too good to pass up.

Ephiny, Eponin and, Solari had made themselves comfortable in the hay loft of the barn. They had kept silent as not to give their postition away to the irritated Queen outside the open doors. Solari whispered to her companions, "We need to get that door closed, it's too bright in here."
Ephiny hushed her, "We will as soon as Gabrielle goes away."
They watched patiently while the little bard spoke outloud to herself, then disappeared from their sight in a cloud of dust. A strangled cry came from behind the barn followed by a splash. The three Amazons looked to each other and smiled in unison.
At that moment, they scrambled through the loft, to the back wall, and found an aeration porthole. Eponin unlatched the small door and slowly pushed it out so that the hinges didn't squeak. It just so happened that there was enough room for the three of them to have a comfortable bird's eye view of the scene below.
Their suspicions were confirmed. Down below was their Queen Gabrielle coughing up her last night's... extravagence.
Ephiny ducked back in and was doubled over in the hay, trying not to let the urge to let out a raucious laugh overcome her. She clenched her teeth onto her leather wrist band and began to shake. Straightening herself back up while she took a few deep breaths to calm down, Eponin asked, "Do you think this would be a good time to shut those doors? I mean it's as good an opportunity as ever."
"Go right ahead," Ephiny replied.
Eponin began to climb down the ladder when Solari ducked back in and said, "Guys, you gotta see this."
They were once again looking out at Gabrielle, and Solari pointed something out to the others. That something was the form of Xena ducking and rolling between huts, barrels, and the water well. Ephiny was able to catch the warrior's attention. Pointing down to the doubled over body of Gabrielle, she smiled and waved Xena over to join them. Xena gave her a thumbs-up and proceeded in their direction.
It seemed only an instant later that Xena was inside of the barn and pulling the doors closed. With a slight sway, she climbed the ladder up to the loft.
"Navigating ladders when I'm mostly drunk does not fit too well into my routine," she said, pulling herself onto the platform.
Xena's Amazon companions shushed her and waved her over to the window. Solari withdrew so that the Warrior Princess could get a front row seat for the morning's entertainment. She snickered through a grin and sat back defiantly.
"What are you thinking?" Ephiny asked, catching the mischievous grin on Xena's face.
She shrugged, "I was just trying to figure out a way to get those wine barrels past Gabrielle and in here with us."
Eponin closed the window, "Your kidding, right? There's no way we can get them past her."
Xena shuffled around and stood up, "Where there's a will, there's a way. Anyway, the barrels are behind her. If we're quiet about it, we can lift one and bring it in. Now who's with me?"
The Amazons looked at her in shocked suprise, all trying to figure out the Warrior's plan.
"C'mon Eponin, we can do it. And if we get caught, I'll take the blame. We'll just say that I threatened your life." Xena was trying her best to encourage the Weapon's Master, nodding her head and giving a not too threatening smile.
"You can't be serious," Eponin looked at Xena, who was pleading to her, and it was the first time that Xena had ever pleaded to anyone, "You are serious," she stated in a flat tone. "O.k. Let's do it."
Solari popped her head out of the window once more to get a check on the Queen's position, and she was still doubled over.
Xena and Eponin were about to open the door when Solari informed them of a new developement. Gabrielle had staggered her way over to the water well and was trying her damndest to make the crank work.
Things were looking up for the Warrior Princess and Weapon's Master, right?
After a quick check of the perimeter from the door, the duo stealthily (well as stealthy as stealth can get when you're inebriated to the point of stumbling over yourself and the make believe village sprites) exited the barn and slipped around the corner. Slowly hugging the wall they finally made it to the last corner that their quarry sat behind. Once again, Xena took a gander at the bard who finally had gotten the crank to work and was currently drinking a good fill of cool water. She observed these actions and came to a conclusion.
"If we're lucky," Xena whispered to Eponin, "She'll hawk that right up," and patting Eponin on the back, "And that, my friend, will buy us some time."
Eponin nodded in reply, then gasped. Xena jerked her head towards the well. Gabrielle was about to go for another round, and it looked as though she was about to direct her 'attentions' or 'intentions' into the well. But, gods be praised, she turned her head at the very last moment. A sigh of relief escaped Eponin and Xena tugged her to move on.
They turned the corner and their prize awaited them. Xena smiled at the beautiful site of the wine barrels before her and gazed at the wonderment that had once occupied the bard's stomach. She sneered upon closer inspection.
"When did she have corn?" she muttered and turned back to Eponin who had already taken position at the barrel. Xena shrugged off the discovery and helped lift the wine barrel.
Xena and Eponin quickly departed with the plunder and soon found themselves being relieved of the burden by Solari and Ephiny. It wasn't exactly a burden, it was more like a labor of love.
Xena stepped back and smiled at her and Eponin's accomplishment while Solari and Ephiny placed the barrel on a table.
Then a revalation came to Xena... and startled her, "Mugs! We need mugs!"
Xena soon found an inner peace when Ephiny turned around and produced four of the objects in question.
"You are a life saver, I owe you big for that." Xena said as she reached out to retrieve one of the most important assets to their activities.
"Don't worry Princess, I won't let you forget about it," Ephiny smiled back.
In no time flat the wine was a flowin' again.
"I can't believe that Gabrielle was THAT hungover," Solari observed.
"Why not? I kinda thought she was in for it when we were playing dinars." Eponin replied.
"Yeah, without too much help from this one over here," Solari jerked a thumb towards Xena, who was sitting beside her.
Xena looked up from her mug and her eyes widened, "What? Just because I changed or added a couple of rules, I'm the guilty party?"
Ephiny laughed, "Oh, just a couple. I liked the one where, let's see...Oh yeah! When the person to the left or right of you misses the cup, you have to drink. Gee, I liked how the impeccable coordination posessed by you and Solari slipped drastically on that one."
Xena smirked, "Now now, I was having an off time, as was Solari, right?"
Solari shook her head and smiled, "Oh, yeah."
Xena continued, "And what about you Miss Queen's Regent? If the dinar goes over the cup and lands in front of you, heads up, you drink. And how many times did you clear the cup, Eph?"
Ephiny's mouth was agape and she sat up defensively, "Hey, how was I supposed to know that Gabrielle didn't know you had an extremely rare double headed coin that was a mis-mint from Chin?"
Xena had been laughing so hard that she had to wipe tears from her eyes, "Alright, you got me."

Meanwhile back at the well......
"Oh, Xena.....You're really gonna get it...." said the bard who had finally given up the last of her body...yet she was so close to giving up her soul, if another bout hit her.
Gabrielle was finally able to straighten herself up to what was close to standing, "Oh, like I didn't know that you futzed with the rules."
She looked about, scanning the Amazon village, "I know you're out there Xena! And don't think I won't get you back for this!" she yelled out.

"Did you hear something?" Solari asked.
"Nah, it's just the wind." Xena said while she finished up her third mug of wine.
Ephiny looked over to Xena, "No, I think I heard something too. It sounded like Gabrielle."
Eponin reached over and brushed her hand across Ephiny's upper arm, "Yeah, I think I heard that too. It sounded something like 'Xena I'll get you for this'."
The Warrior Princess shrugged her shoulders and kept on drinking,"Ack, what could she blame me for?"
"Fixing the rules." Ephiny stated.
Xena sat back and studied the contents of her mug, deciding that there wasn't much to be content about; with the contents dwindling. She held out the mug to Solari, who took it and began to refill it, "Like she's ever played before."
"Well, has she ever seen you play it before?" the Regent asked.
Xena thought for a moment before answering, "Well....yeah, maybe a couple of times."
Ephiny sat back against the wall, "Then there you have it. She is now remembering how dinars is 'supposed' to be played."
"Nah...." Xena shook her head in disbelief, "She was always telling stories in the taverns when I played."
"Well maybe she picked it up while she was telling those stories?" Eponin added.
"She is very observant," Solari finished.

"Oh great warrior one, you took advantage of me when I was drunk and you THINK you'll get away with this." the bard muttered to herself as she tried to hold herself up, using the water well as leverage.
"Just wait, just wait......."

The conversation bounced around like a well thrown chakram. From humorous stories about Xena's past to birthing Centaurs.
"Ya know Eph, I've always wanted to ask you...How can I put this mildly....You see, you gave birth to a Centaur child, well, I'm a bit curious about how it was conceived?" Xena asked.
Ephiny smiled fondly at the memories of Phantes, then answered, "Very carefully and very strategically."
Xena laughed. She leaned in close to Ephiny and arched an eyebrow, "I've seen horses breed before, and it was a very messy ritual."
The Regent had been in mid swallow and spat out a mouthful of wine, spraying Solari and Xena.
Eponin held up her hands, "I really do not want to know. And I really did not need to have THAT visual."
Xena had wiped the wine from her face, "O.k. That's all I needed to know." She smiled contently, sat back and folded her arms across her chest.
"Hey Xena, are there anymore games that you know?" Eponin asked curiously.
Xena thought for a moment, letting the wheels turn, "Well there's one. But we need a couple of wineskins."
Solari stood up, "I think there are a couple in here somewhere."
Xena was puzzled, "Why is that there may be wineskins in here, and mugs?"
Solari answered while she rifled around in a wooden chest in the far corner, "Because we come here, I'd hate to say it, when Gabrielle is visiting." She found the hidden treasure, walked back over to the group and sat down beside Xena.
The Warrior furrowed her brow and turned towards Ephiny, "Why?"
"Because I know that she doesn't drink much and so we stow away in here when we want to kick back and have a few. But sometimes, she can really...." Ephiny clenched her teeth in hopes that she won't be the recipient of a brutal pummeling.
Xena's reply was somewhat of a suprise to the three Amazons. Nodding her head in guilt she said, "I know. I love her to death, but sometimes she can drive you to drink." The others sighed in relief.
"There are times when it takes me up to two candlemarks to check the perimeter around the campsite. But those are the nights where I sleep peacefully." Xena finished her mug of wine and started for a refill. "Also, if this is where you all 'stow away' , Then why wasn't there a wine barrel stashed in here too?"
Ephiny smiled, That WAS the wine barrel that was stashed in here. Xena replied with a slow nod and an, "Uh, huh."
Eponin caught her attention, "What about that game you wanted the wineskins for?"
"Oh I almost forgot." Xena picked up the wineskins and began to fill them. "Do you guys mind if these get destroyed?"
Ephiny raised an eyebrow and answered, "No, we have more."
"Good." Xena stepped back over to her seat holding the bulging wineskins. "Now ladies, this game is called 'Blow-gun'. It's pretty much like other game we played before with the gourds and reeds."
Eponin sat up straight in attention, "Ooh! More forced drinking, I like it already."
Xena continued, "What happens here is, you make a hole in the skin and uncork it. The winner is decided by who finishes the wine first with the least spillage. Ready to give it a go?"
Solari and Eponin bounded from their seats and stood in front of Xena like good little Amazons. They were each handed a wineskin, while Xena pulled out her breast dagger and a boot dagger. They were instructed to uncork the necks and cover the hole with their thumb.
"Alright, hold 'em up," Xena said. "Now you might have to squeeze the bag to get the most out of it." Xena stopped to think about what she had just said and shrugged it off.
Eponin and Solari were in playing positions, wineskins up and ready to take on the onslaught. In one quick motion, Xena sliced a small hole in both bags and the game was on.

The bard staggered away from the water well and back into the center of the village. Her thoughts were on how she was going to cast revenge upon Xena, but they strayed to the bed that was waiting for her where she planned to sleep away the day.
Some of the fallen Amazons had begun to drag their sorry selves back to their huts by now, but Xena was still missing.
Gabrielle had decided to stop by the food storage hut and grab a small loaf of bread to help quell her stomach. The food hut was on the opposite side of the village from the barn, she slowly walked the distance over there.
When she had reached the hut, she turned towards the barn. "Something isn't right," she thought. Gabrielle studied the barn. She had brushed off the thought and turned back to the hut when the realization hit her. "The doors were open before."

Empty wineskins lay on the ground, Eponin was the victor. Xena patted the contestants on the back for a job well done.
"How about you and Ephiny give it a try." Solari said.
"There's one problem," Xena began,"We would need new wineskins, those had seen their last day."
"We could still get the gourds," Eponin offered.
Xena's eyes lit up, "Let's do it. But first, we need to check on Gabrielle."
Ephiny stood up, "I'll take care of that." She climbed up into the loft and peered out the window. "She's gone," she called down to Xena.
Xena needed to think and think fast. How was one to get the gourds without Gabrielle seeing them do it? Xena snapped her fingers when she had worked out the plan.
"We need some rope... and this would be a crazy request, but I've gotta ask... seeing as that you had wineskins and mugs stashed away in here... cross-bows?"
"No cross-bows," Ephiny broke the news to Xena. The Warrior Princess bowed her head and sulked. "But I do remember seeing a grappling hook around here, somewhere."
Xenas head shot up and overcame her small defeat, "Where? We gotta find it." Solari had already taken to the task and uncovered the small grappling hook beneath a pile of horse blankets. She swung the hook by the rope and tossed it over to Xena.
With hook in hand, Xena bounded up the ladder and was at the window. With expert skill, that was hindered by the slight loss of coordination, she lowered the rope and pulled up the first gourd. The second was a little bit tricky because it was farther from the barn, but Xena prevailed after a couple of failed attempts at landing the hook near it and sucessfully cinching at least one of the hooks arms around the gourd.
While Xena was utilizing one of her many skills, her Amazon companions were undertaking a small search of their own.
"I've got it!" Eponin held the object up with defiance.
"Well, that doesn't do us any good if there's nothing to put in there." Solari said.
Xena had retrieved the gourds and was making her way down the ladder from the loft. The Amazons huddled close together in a small circle. They appeared to be completely engrossed in something. Xena was a tad curious as to what it was.
As she approached, Ephiny turned around and held the object out to Xena, as if it were an offering. Xena's eyes widened in suprise and recognition. She dropped the gourds and drew closer to Ephiny. She gently took the object from Ephiny and held it close, affectionately. She studied it, sniffed at it, and smiled in approval.
Ephiny broke the Warrior Princess out of her dream-like trance, "Uh, Xena, we just have one problem," Xena still cradled it in her hands, "We're out of...." Ephiny's words trailed off while she and the other Amazons were dumbstruck by Xena, who was cradling and cooing at a cannabis pipe.
"That's no problem," Xena began, then broke into, "Oh, who's just a widdle widdle ca-uu-tie." The Amazons slowly looked to each other to confirm what they were seeing. Xena continued on until she looked up and saw the three women covering their mouths and snickering back laughs. She straightened up instantly, losing the Warrior Mom act and eyed them carefully, as if to say, 'If anyone says one word about this...' that's all that it needed to say. "As I was saying, that's no problem, I happen to have a small stash of my own." She smiled and snapped her fingers.
"And where might that be?" Eponin asked.
Xena grinned, "in my saddle bags."
"In your hut," Ephiny finished. Xena's grin began to falter, then faded.
"I'll go get it." Xena had the look of a woman on a mission.
"Um, but Xena, you've gotta get past Gabrielle, wherever she might be by now." Solari interjected, "Oh and by the way... does she know that you...."
"No she doesn't!" Xena snapped back.

The Amazon Queen had given up on revenge and tracking down Xena for the day, concluding that 'it can wait.' She nibbled at the bread on her way back to her hut. She began to feel better already, but this headache was incessant.
Once inside, she remembered that Xena had kept some healing herbs that would do the trick. Gabrielle began to sort through the saddle bags. Buried deep within, Gabrielle uncovered a small pouch. "Funny, I've never seen this before," she said to herself. Pulling open the drawstrings, she dumped the contents into her palm.
Gabrielle stared in shock at the discovery. A small pipe and another small pouch sat in her hand. She sniffed at the pipe and recognized the odor immediately. Back in Potedia, some of the teenagers partook in these activities, but never Gabrielle. Upon the rememberance of Potedia, she began to realize that at times, Xena would be marked with a faint odor after an unusually long perimeter check. And Xena would try her damnedest to stay on the opposite side of the fire from her. It bothered her to know that her best friend was keeping secrets from her.
She never understood what the draw was for this kind of stuff, well, she did feel pretty good after a few henbane laced pieces of nutbread. Smiling to herself she said, "And I wouldn't mind feeling that way right now."
Gabrielle weighed the options of: a) blasting Xena about the cannabis when she saw her or b) this could be a great way to get revenge.
With her mind made, Gabrielle poked at the dying embers of the fire and found a small twig that had a decent ember on it that she could get a small flame from. She sat down beside the smoldering hearth and began to pack the pipe.

"Xena, you'd have to be crazy to try and get around Gabrielle again." Ephiny said, standing behind the Warrior.
"I could go," Eponin volunteered.
Xena spun around to face the Amazons, "No. I couldn't let you walk blindly into your death like that. I'll have to go. And if anything happens to me, I want to be buried in Amphipolis beside my brother. Tell my mother that I love her. And...." her eyes were pleading now, "I want you all to know that you have been great friends to me and that we had a blast if it all comes to an end."
The Warrior stood proud and tall, she gave Ephiny, Solari and, Eponin a quick hug and stalked out the barn door.
"Was she serious?" Eponin whispered as they watched Xena carefully close the barn door. Solari and Ephiny's eyes shifted to Eponin, then they all broke out into laughter.

Gabrielle sat on the floor and leaned back against the bed. Watching the world turn fuzzy right before her eyes, she thought, 'Now this ain't so bad. Nah, you cough a little at first, but once you get the hang of it....' she took a long drag from the pipe, 'Ooh, yeah.....I can get used to this.' She held the smoke in her lungs and slowly exhaled it.
The Amazon Queen's thoughts shifted over to Xena. What would Xena do if she caught the bard in her secret stash. A tooth filled grin covered the bards face and she began to chuckle at the thought of the look on Xena's face when she finally decided to show herself. Gabrielle rolled onto her side in a fit of laughter, when she was finally able to right herself, she stoked the dying embers in the pipe and inhaled deeply.
The door to the hut was still wide open and Gabrielle watched the day begin to unfold before her. The village was coming back to life as time went on. The little blonde in the hut was doubled over with chuckles and giggles while watching the tribe try to reform its self from the previous night. Amazons everywhere, stumbling, falling....It was better than watching horses breed.......?..... Gabrielle stopped and realized, "I've never even SEEN horses breed," she shrugged her shoulders, "Oh, well." She continued to watch in wonderment and for the sake of entertainment. She thought about the horses again and a chuckle escaped her with a snort. "I really gotta ask Eph how she and Phantes......" she said and took another hit off the pipe. That visual in itself sent her into another round of giggles, slapping the floor and coughing out smoke, she wiped the tears from her eyes... "Oh, yeah. Gotta do this more often. Yep!" Gabrielle held the pipe up, "Where have you been all this time?"
Gabrielle's attention was caught by the opening of the barn door in the distance. Leaning forward, she crawled on all fours to the door and peered out. A smile came to her face at the recognition of Xena leaving the barn. "So that's where you've been hiding out, oh Warrior One."
She watched while Xena glanced around and began diving and rolling between barrels, trees and tables. Gabrielle snorted again, 'Does she know how ridiculous she looks when she does that?'
The bard moved to one side of the door so that Xena wouldn't spot her right off. She continued to take in the new entertainment. A fit of laughter erupted from the Queen when Xena dove, rolled, and came to a crouch underneath a table and slammed the top of her head on it when she tried to stand. "A little off on our coordinates, are we?" Gabrielle gazed on in pure amusement.
As Xena neared, Gabrielle grabbed her staff and stood flat against the wall, behind the door.

During Xena's excursion, she had stopped in the center if the village. She caught a whiff of a familiar scent in the passing breeze. 'Some of the girls must be starting early,' she said to herself.
Xena continued to tuck and roll her way to the Queen's hut. Planning on moving from behind a barrel and clearing a table, she came up short.
Ow! she exclaimed when her head smacked the underside of the table top. Rubbing the top of her head, she scooted out from under it. Xena glared at the table, Gotta work a little bit harder on the coordination. She moved on towards the hut without incident.
Xena slowly stepped over the threshold and into the hut. Her body froze when she saw the contents of her saddle bags scattered all over the bed. She took a step forward and her breath was caught in her throught. She swallowed hard as her eyes trailed over to the table and saw the pipe and opened papyrus pouch set out for her.
Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, in the brief attempt to slow her hearts beating back to a normal rate, Xena stated, "I--Am--Fucked." A slight shuffle behind her brought her back to the now.
In a slight turn, Xena started to say, "Gabri---" before she saw the furry butt end of a staff connect with the bridge of her nose.

Xena blinked once, twice, and tried to shake the stars from her head before falling to the floor in a heap. Gabrielle stared in amazement and began to jump up and down triumphantly, "I got you! Oh yeah! I'm Good! Go Gabby!"
She knelt down beside her fallen friend and checked her to see if any real damage had been done. Upon confirmation that there wasn't any, Gabrielle picked up the pipe once again and lit it.
"What to do... what to do..." she muttered while she waited for Xena to stir. The Bard glanced over at the her travel bag and a brilliant idea materialized in her head.
Smiling as if she had just eaten a canary, Gabrielle readied for her task.

The Warrior Princess came to in a haze. Remembering only bits and pieces of what had happened, she began to rise to a sitting position. Her head throbbed at the motion.
Xena touched her hand to her brow and hissed at the tenderness of the spot. "Gabrielle, you got me good this time."
She shuffled onto her knees and peered over the edge of the table. The pipe and the cannabis were missing. Scowling at the disappointment she said, "serves me right. Gabrielle probably has thrown it into the river by now." Xena shook her head, "Damn! I paid Autolycus good dinars for that stuff."
Xena got to her feet and dusted herself off. It was time to go back to the others and admit defeat, although it would've been better if she had died a warriors death.
With shoulders slumped and head bowed, Xena slowly dragged herself back to the barn. Along the way she mumbled obscenities at the bard and at herself for how foolish she was to keep this from her friend. She wondered how hurt Gabrielle must've been upon reaching her discovery, and how she would be put through Tartarus to make it up to her.
Xena smiled to herself and chuckled, "But she is getting good at swinging that stick of hers. Little Bard, Little Bard, I'll get you back for that."
When Xena reached the barn, the door opened slowly and Ephiny appeared behind it. A beaming smile came across the Regents face at the sight of Xena.
Ephiny closed the distance between them and asked with mocking concern, "What happened to you?"
"Little Bard," Xena growled under her breath.
The Amazon stared back, "Huh?"
Xena snapped out of her misery and pointed to the bruise that ran from her brow down to her cheek, "Door knob," she stated.
"Alrighty," Ephiny said, not believing the Warrior. She opened the door, holding back giggles and led Xena back into the barn.
Xena walked into a perpetual smoke screen and stopped dead in her tracks. Taking in her surroundings, Solari and Eponin were staring at her with their mouths rung shut, trying to keep down the grins that were threatening to burst from their faces.
An extremely confused Xena turned away from them and back to Ephiny for an explanation. Ephiny held her hands up and shrugged, giving no explanation.
"C'mon, sit down." The Regent dragged Xena over to join their little group.
Eponin handed the pipe to Xena and she reluctantly took it, but was reluctant no more when she took her first hit off of it. She closed her eyes and held the smoke in for as long as she could before slowly expelling it. When she opened her eyes again, she saw the three Amazons staring at her once again choking down laughs.
"What?" she snapped, annoyance in her voice. None answered.
The pipe continued to make its rounds and all were merry. Xena had turned to refill her mug with wine. Never taking her eyes from the contents of the mug, she turned back to the Amazons who had fallen silent.
Xena took a long drink. While she was swallowing, the pipe had been handed over to her.
"Here you go."
Xena nodded and took the pipe.
She took another sip and recognition smacked her up side the head, also spraying three stoned Amazons with wine in the process. Ephiny, Solari and Eponin didn't seem to mind, for they were too caught up in Xena's apparent demise. Basically, they were laughing their asses off.
Gabrielle's smile was so sickeningly, innocent and sweet when she began to forcefully pat Xena's back as she choked on the wine. Xena was doubled over, coughing and Gabrielle took the pipe from her hand and passed it back to Ephiny.
With Xena still trying to catch her breath, Gabrielle had taken hold of the pipe and inhaled deeply, savoring this sweet moment.
"Now Xena," Gabrielle began, "There are a few things that we're gonna need to talk about." Xena was about to explain herself, but was hushed by her friend. "But not now. I think I've doled out enough punishment for the day. Wouldn't you think girls?" The Amazons smiled and nodded in reply.
Xena was struck dumb. 'This is Gabrielle speaking right?' She studied the bard further... 'Red, glassy eyes... shit-eating grin....'
"Youre stoned!" Xena said in suprise. Her jaw hung slack while the others were in all out laughter.
Gabrielle sat up straight next to her friend and put an arm around her. Squeezing Xena's shoulders, she said, "Yes I am."
The Queen had posession of the pipe and she handed it over to Xena, who was once again reluctant to take it, but eventually did with some goading.
After Xena had taken the offering and passed it along, she asked Gabrielle, "So you're not going to take revenge on me?"
I already did, she replied.
Something wasn't right to Xena. She took stock of the punishments so far....aside from the blow she had taken from Gabrielle's staff and the taking of her stash, what else was there? She thought for a moment, 'there must be a trap around here somewhere... but where....'
Gabrielle knew that Xena was trying to figure her out, but she sat back and enjoyed the ride. Not too many opportunities like this come everyday, especially for her.
She smiled to her Amazon sisters who have been doing an impeccable job of not giving their Queen away to the Warrior. Even when they had the impossible task of not pointing out the blatent scrawl across Xena's forehead that read, "Revenge is better than Solstice," and in smaller print, along with an arrow pointing to Xena's new bruise, "Gabrielle was here."