| Title: Always Author: DM E-Mail: [email protected] Distribution: I would be honored. (I would love to know where so I can visit!) Spoiler Warning: "Requiem" and "One Breath" (You should know about the abduction myth arc.) Rating: G Classification: VAR Key Words: Mulder/Scully Romance Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. They belong to CC, 1013 Productions and 20th Century FOX... I just borrowed 'em. Summary: Post ep fic for "Requiem" Notes: When I saw "Requiem" the first time I was mad. I didn't want to wait a whole six months before we would get any sort of closure. (Not that there will be any... we're talking about the X-Files here!) Anyway, I had to put into words what I thought Scully would feel at a time like this. So, this is what I came up with. It's short, but therapeutic. Let me know what you think. Remember... feedback is more than appreciated, it's craved. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Mulder is gone. It can't be. It is a fear that I've always possessed. It is a fear that has plagued me ever since the day I allowed myself to see him as more than a partner. The day he became my friend--my best friend. When I first heard the news I was too overcome with disbelief to react in anyway. I wouldn't allow myself to believe that the words we parted with were the last words we would ever share. I replayed the scene in my head over and over again remembering every emotion that ran over his face. I remembered with vivid detail every touch and kiss we shared before we parted. I gave him a part of myself to take with him; I gave him something that held great significance for both of us, but in different ways. I didn't know why I wanted him to wear my cross; I didn't understand at the time why it was so imperative that he take it with him. Now I understand. The cross symbolizes me and, to Mulder, my strength. I am his strength. He wore the cross during the three months I was missing--during my abduction. He later told me that it helped him through the loss he was experiencing. And, although I was no longer with him physically, he felt my strength and it gave him a reason to go on. We were close then, but now we are even closer. Was it this hard for Mulder when I disappeared? Did it hurt this much? My emotions are unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I am dealing with great loss and great happiness at the same time. I am pregnant; something that I never dreamed possible. Mulder is the father; the child is ours-- he... or she is something that we created--together. I am thrilled. I am so filled with joy that it hurts. I can't imagine anything I want more or could hold more precious--except that Mulder be returned. I couldn't have known about my pregnancy more than five minutes before I learned of Mulder's disappearance. Somehow I had already known; I knew the moment I realized what all the abductees had in common. I just didn't want to believe it. Somehow Skinner made it real. He confirmed my nightmare. He was there with Mulder when he disappeared, when they took him away from me. He told me that he lost him, but I don't blame Skinner. If I were there I don't believe I could have saved him either. I know that if he knew about our child he would still be here with me. I know Mulder, and he would not have left me. And, selfishly, I wouldn't have let him go. There has to be an end, and Mulder would have gladly chosen his child--our child over the truth. He's promised me as much before. Not in so many words, but he's made it clear that he would be willing to sacrifice anything to give me back what I had lost. I'm a doctor! Why didn't I know, why didn't I think to check? I know he is out there. I will find him. I have to. I need to. After all, *I* came back to him. I had the strength of his beliefs. I will be strong for Mulder. He needs me, and I will be there for him. Always. ************* It's short, I know... but I had to get it out of my system! Hate it? Love it? Both? Please... let me know what you think! |