can anyone guess what i've decided to give up for lent? yes, that's right, living. so resuscitate me after easter. if you can't/won't, then oh well, too bad....no big loss....

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>profile2:

damn, i still have to survive these last weeks of classes and finals. somebody put me into a coma and revive me in a couple of weeks. i might as well, since i'm screwed no matter what, so why bother trying to even fake it anymore. oh well, i can at least look forward to my 4 week winter break, filled with hopefully snow, relaxation, sleeping in my own bed, being at home away from college hell, spending time with my sister, the holiday atmosphere, and my dreaded 20th birthday. oh god, i'll have been alive for 20 stupid wasted years. so what do i have to show; what have i accomplished the past 2 decades? absolutely freaking nothing. just 20 years of failures, regrets, laments, suicidal thoughts, stress, worry, doom, crap, pessimism, cynicism, negativity, depression, lost hope, lost dreams, lost goals, lost ambition, pointless school, fleeting "friendships," and on and on....do i really have to continue? oh well, at least we all know there aren't too many years left that i have to put up with......p.s.-speaking of which, if anyone wants to do something/visit during break (dec. 21-jan. 19), and who the hell knows why you'd want to, maybe out of pity or extreme boredom, then email me what/when/where works for you and we shall see. otherwise, go away already and leave me be, as always, to permanently disappear!

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>profile1:

dear whoever you are,
a psa: my damn computer keeps freezing up at the most infrequent times, but usually while using aim. so if you ever feel like iming me (not that you would) and if i happen to sign off unexpectedly, now you know the reason. don't you feel enlightened. right. anyway, that also means that if you leave a message, i may never see it because my computer froze and your somewhat valued message was lost. please be assured that this is not just some elaborate excuse to avoid talking to you or for me not being aware of any messages you may have sent me. i would never ever think of doing such a cruel thing.....unless of course i hate talking to you. it's highly possible; you know who you are. and if you don't, then you really don't know me at all, do you?

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>tv1:

mindlessly watching tv..........do not disturb at your own risk!!!

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>death2:

i'm dead. that's it. so go away. it's futile to talk to me now, isn't it?

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>death1:

i'm dying......slowly......everything's slipping away......it's all going black......what took so long???

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>eat1:

i went to get something to eat from the cafeteria, for once. although, i might as well just starve, since the food is absolutely not worth it. anyway, it'll ultimately contribute to my timely death, so i guess it is a good thing after all. we can only hope.

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>out1:

well, watching some tv and trying to motivate myself to get ready........soon it's off to dinner, the mall, and borders......at least, i have some actual concrete plans, for tonight anyway

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>work1:

getting ready to go to my "job"....

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>special1:

thankfully, thanksgiving break is finally coming closer, however slowly and painfully. so that means i'll have a week off from hell, which also means i could spend some time with my "friends," either at home or at school. so if you'd like me to visit (who knows why though) email me at [email protected] and tell me what day and time are best for you from saturday-wednesday, nov. 23-27.................

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