Coalition for the Restoration of Parental Rights *****IOWA CHAPTER
Couple battle to see granddaughter
The Des Moines Register - Jan. 30, 2000
By Lindsey Henry
A visitation-rights case is being taken
to Iowa's highest court.
Lois and Joe Santi have a bedroom ready for their granddaughter's visits. A room full of toys waits for her, as do they.
The Santis haven't seen 3-year-old Taylor since their son and daughter-in-law decided to sever the grandparents' relationship with the girl more than a year ago. A Polk County judge said there was nothing the Santis could do about it.
In ruling for the girl's parents, District Judge Joe Novak declared unconstitutional an Iowa law that allows grandparents to petition for visitation of a grandchild who is raised by an intact family.
The Santis, of Des Moines, appealed the ruling to the Iowa Supreme Court last week in hopes they can rebuild their bond with Taylor.
"We want to see them, and we love them," Lois Santi said. "It's not our choice."
Her plea echoes the national debate over grandparents' rights. The U.S. Supreme Court is considering whether the government can force a fit parent to allow grandparents or others to visit a child.
Heather Santi, 24, said she and her husband, Mike, also of Des Moines, cut off contact as a last option. Unresolved arguments dissolved their once close relationship.
"I never planned for it to be this way," Heather Santi said. "We're not doing this to be vindictive or to punish them. It's more a point to get across."
Like all other states, Iowa allows grandparents to petition for visitation if the nuclear family breaks up via divorce or death.
More than half the states, including Iowa, let grandparents seek visitation when the mother and father are still together.
However, Novak ruled that caveat is unconstitutional because it violates parents' rights to raise their children as they see fit. Unless the grandparents can prove the children are at a potential risk of harm, the parents can keep them from seeing the grandchildren, the judge said.
Novak, who does not have grandchildren, was raised by his mother's parents while she worked. In his ruling, he wrote that keeping the grandparents from their grandchild saddened him. He called arguments over things such as who purchased Taylor's first coat or who took her to sit on Sant's lap trivial and petty.
"It's not the solution that any of us hoped for," Heather Santi said. The main issue now is that it's a parent's right to choose not only whom you associate with, but whom your child associates with."
Lois and Joe Santi, both 53, first filed for visitation rights in January 1999. The girl isn't being abused, and they don't think for a minute that their son and daughter-in-law are bad parents, Lois Santi said. They just want to spend time with her.
For the first year of Taylor's life, Lois and Joe took care of her three times a week while her parents worked. Everyone agrees the family dynamic was healthy, but eventually disagreements wrecked the relationship. For a time, all of the Santis attended counseling sessions.
No member of the family would comment specifically on what started the arguments.
"It's a decision that both my husband and I agree on," Heather Santi said.
Thomas Schlapkohl, attorney for Lois and Joe Santi, said the grandparents believed Taylor would be harmed without contact with them.
"There had been a substantial relationship established with the child, and it had been ripped away," he said. "It's almost like the facts were irrelevant. The statute was on trial."
Thomas Berg, attorney for Heather and Mike Santi, said appealing Novak's decision would further weaken the family.
The constitution indicates fundamental rights can be limited only in certain circumstances, Berg said.
"There has to be finding of substantial risk of serious harm before the court has a right to come in and make a judgment over loving, caring parents," he said. "This kid isn't wanting for love."
Lois and Joe Santi's appeal to the Iowa Supreme Court probably will not be heard for almost a year. Until then, both attorneys wait for the U.S. Supreme Court to rule on another grandparents' rights case.
This month, the nation's high court heard arguments from Washington state grandparents who want to see their two granddaughters.
The case differs from the Sants' in that the nuclear family is no longer together. The girls' father is dead, and the state allowed the mother to refuse the paternal grandparents contact.
If the Supreme Court rules broadly for the grandparents, Lois and Joe Santi may see Taylor sooner. The ruling is expected this summer.
"This type of case unfortunately has a Roe vs. Wade type of potential," Berg said of the Supreme Court's decision. "(The court) could come down with, 'No grandparent has the right to force visitation over parents,' or just declare the Washington law unconstitutional.
Schlapkohl agrees.
"We're hoping it will give us a more pervasive, global guidance in the area of grandparent visitation," he said. "We're hoping for the broad sense, not narrow."
Meanwhile, Heather Santi insists her daughter is not without love of grandparents. Her parents live in Des Moines and see Taylor often.
"She's a happy, healthy child," she said, noting Taylor was 2 at the time she stopped seeing her other grandparents.
But Heather Santi said she hoped things would work out someday. "I don't want it to be this way forever," she said.
Neither do Lois and Joe Santi. They didn't have the chance to give Taylor Christmas gifts, so they started buying her savings bonds.
They rely on chance meetings to see their granddaughter. One such encounter at a grocery store tears at Lois Santi.
"Taylor cried for me," she said. "I don't think they are aware of what this is doing."
