Battle and Chase: Chest vs Fianait

M3 3 - Thursday, February 23, 2006, 11:37 PM

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Unity Atoll - Eisner Arena - Battlebots Arena

The West Wing of this arena is set up for the Battlebots competition. The arena itself is an octagon shape, with the battle pits in the direct center, a seat for each bot controller directly on opposing sides, and the box for the referee at the head. Behind and around all of this is the seating area, industrial-looking metal stands. As the competition in the center of the ring may involve some firepower and be slightly dangerous, a wall of force extends up slightly beyond the normal arena wall, transparent for the viewers but for their own protection. Pylons that project it are at regular intervals along the wall that seperates the stands from the pit, glowing a slightly ominous red. The floor of the arena itself is a smooth black, but interspersed with the pit areas from which Battlebot obstacles will emerge. Off-sides, beyond the bleachers and the arena, is the backstage "garage" where those that are competing store and repair their robots between competitions. This area is frequented and monitored by the rather impressive Gizmoduck robot, who keeps the peace even in power-tool-permitted locations.

Contents: Contents:

Battlebot Arena Hazards One <BAH1> Viewing Stands

North <N>: Unity Atoll - Eisner Arena - Battlebots 2nd

East <E>: Unity Atoll - Eisner Arena

Fianait arrives from the Eisner Arena.

Fianait has arrived.

Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> has arrived.

Fianait drops Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot>.

Intense booing from one side of the arena announces Fianait's arrival. For once it's not the screaming and howling of her battlebot, the minihyenard Con Brio; this is mostly because he's curled up in her arms as she carries him in. Like most pets, the minihyenard is tolerating this with as much patience and dignity he can muster, because he's a good dog. But the second he gets put down, all hell's gonna break loose.

Fianait cuddles the little pet, and waits for her opponent. She looks waaaay too happy to be here.

"Behold, ladies and gentlemen... boys and girls of all ages..." Chest is saying as he stands before a mighty mysterious titan with a white sheet covering it. "...where Interpol has -repeatedly- failed, GNN shall succeed... /once again/... I bring you the mech that shall avenge Riot the ex-Interpoller... the mech that shall once again show Javelin Whitetail for the evil that she is... I bring you... MASS MEDIA!" Chest pulls the sheet off of the mechanoid. Mass Media, in all of his rusty, sharp, spiky, and large glory, shakes its arms into the air. "I SHALL KILL YOU ALL! NNNNNNAAAAARRRRGH! WOE BE TO HIM THAT STANDS AGAINST ME! ALL SHALL PERISH BEFORE MY MIGHTY MIGHT!" Mass Media stumbles towards the ring. "DEATH TO THOSE THAT OPPOSE GNN! DEATH TO THOSE THAT OPPOSE CHEST! DEATH TO THOSE THAT OPPOSE -ME-!!!" Chest smiles as his droid struts its stuff. Mass Media steps into the ring, waving its various weapons of death around madly. "HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR... HAR!" Mass Media laughs, knowing that a mini-hyenard is no match for it.

The shiny leader has arrived on called to be the Ref when need be, being the honorable Robot Master, one can count on him to get the job done, as well as be fair to all partied. Slowly, the shiny leader made his way up the stairs and to the Arena stand, looking towards Fianait, and then towards Chest before he signals the main lights to shine towards him, flexing to get the maximum effect as it spreads across the floor and the participants.

"You here, have bested your first opponents and now come to challenge each other! I recognize Con Brio for participation for the Maverick, and Mass Media as the header for GNN. Aside, Chest, I like your programming. Keep up the good work." The leader quips before bracing himself once more.

"Now than, the rules are simple. The last robot standing is the victor, and hazards will be introduced into the calculations. Now then, let us start!" The shiny leader stated.

"For Honor and Glory! The battle starts now!" The elite states, grasping the Mirror Buster off his back and raising it towards the skies.

Fianait stares.

"And people say /I've/ gone f***ing nuts."

She gently sets down Con Brio, who is in no mood at all for gentleness. The minihyenard immediately leaps forwards into the ring, flames dumping out of its exhaust ports as it paces back and forth, sniffing at the ground and clicking a couple small devices on its back. ...are those mini-gatling guns?

Con Brio considers the Mass Media bot, before finally granting this: "ATLEASTITLOOKSTOUGHERTHANCHEST."

"FIRST DITZ PINKMOUSE... THEN FIANAIT... TOMORROW THE WORLD! HAW HAW HAW HAR!" Mass Media shakes its multitude of limbs over its head again, confident in its victory over the lowly Interpol traitor, eager to kill all those that dare to stand before it. Chest moves into position and fiddles around with the remote control. He goes ahead and presses the 'Sass' button that the high priced engineers have coded into it. "BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, ASSHOLE!" Mass Media shouts. Chest makes a note to have the 'Sass' button fixed up, since it clearly needs some work.

Mass Media awkwardly moves into the ring and beats its barrel-like chest. "BRING IT ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!" it tells Con Brio.

Mass Media mk.III <Chest> has arrived.

You drop Mass Media mk.III <Chest>.

Mass Media mk.III <Chest>(#6549Ta)

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You are inside the Mass Media mk.III <Chest> Battlebot. Type 'do <command>' to make the Battlebot take actions.

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Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot>

Most people would recognize this little device on first sight - or to be more precise, the reploid that this construct was based off of. It's a mini-hyenard; perched on all fours, standing about two feet at the shoulder. Black, red, and gold, with metallic joints, flames constantly emanate from its tail, shoulders, and back. While there's only one, not three, it still seems to have some trouble operating in terms of both volume and function: occasionally twitching or sending out an excessive gout of flame.

The one distinguishing characteristic about this mini-hyenard from the other ones running about is the collar - green with pictures of tiny little white bones outlining both top and bottom, the name 'CON BRIO' stiched into it, and the little dangling tag identifying it as the pet and property of one Javelin Whitetail.

Carrying:

Fianait

Mass Media mk.III <Chest>(#6549Ta)

Mass Media is a rust brown and dark red titan of an awkward Battlebot. Standing almost a whopping 4 feet, Mass Media appears designed to be threatening and mean, designed for brutality over finesse. Its main chassis consists of a barrel-esque shape, and looks nice and sturdy. Many powerful long and twisted metal arms, each ending with a violent weapon of various types. A sharp rusty knife, a brutal iron anchor, a strange ballistic gun... the list goes on. Mass Media does not appear to have any actual hands, although in total it has about four and a half arms. Mass Media's walk is unsteady, as if it's almost ready to topple over with each step. There is a slit near where the hunchback robot's head would be, giving the appearance of eyes. This is Mass Media, in all of its GNN glory.

Carrying:

Chest

Enker flips a coin in the air and it comes down tails.

Enker says, "So says the coin. Chest and Mass media! Strike first!"

[Radio: (B) GNN] Chest transmits, "Molly! Come cheer me on against the evilest of evils!"

[Radio: (B) GNN] Molly Ribbita transmits, "Ooh! Whatcha doin', Chest?"

[Radio: (B) GNN] Chest transmits, "And I don't mean that snack machine that doesn't take beaten up dollar bills this time..."

[Radio: (B) GNN] Chest transmits, "Mass Media is going to defeat Javelin Whitetail!"

[Radio: (B) GNN] Molly Ribbita transmits, "Woo! I'm on my way, Chie--er, sir!"

[Radio: (B) GNN] Chest transmits, "Don't call me Chie-sir!"

[Radio: (B) GNN] Molly Ribbita wails, "I knooow, it's just instinct!"

Molly Ribbita arrives from the Eisner Arena.

Molly Ribbita has arrived.

Molly Ribbita is cheering for Chest from the stands. Sort of. Her laptop's in hand, and it looks like she's working while she watches.

Molly Ribbita has left.

Molly Ribbita just looked at you.

Enker has left.

"JAVELIN WHITETAIL!" Chest shouts. "You betrayed Interpol... you betrayed your fans... and you betrayed EVERYONE that ever believed in you!" Chest seems genuinely upset as he shouts across the pit to Javelin. Chest appears quite angry as he shakes his fist. "You're a menace to society, you're a MURDERER of hundreds and a CORRUPTOR of thousands! You're a plague on this Earth, Javelin Whitetail! You destroy otherwise decent organizations, you care only about yourself! You care not for those that you kill, those that you put into jeopardy, and those innocents that are hurt by your actions!" Yes, Chest is indeed upset. "Riot may have failed to take you down, but *I* have *never* believed in your lies! I pointed out your true colours once, and I'm aiming to do it again!"

Mass Media then adds in its horrific voice, "I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SQUEAL LIKE A PIG! WEEEEEE!" The lumbering Battlebot takes a couple awkward steps towards Con Brio, aiming one of its deadly arms towards him. This arm ends in a strange gun-like thing. Awkwardly pointing it towards Con Brio, Mass Media fires off a barrage of shrapnel-like projectiles towards the Mini-Hyenard, seeking to end Fianait's evil reign.

You strike Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> with a glancing hit from your News Travels Fast attack.

[Radio: (B) GNN] Molly Ribbita transmits, "Mass Media's in stunning shape this year, I see."

[Radio: (B) GNN] Chest sniffs happily, "I taught him everything he knows..."

Fianait releases the minihyenard -- moves back and away to watch the match with folded arms. The look she regards Chest holds a disturbing amount of calm, or maybe just tiredness -- either way, the Deer isn't going to verbally spar with the GNN Chief, as anyone in their right mind would expect. She just smirks, a very little bit, a ghost of her old usual expression.

"I know," Fianait says, without apology.

Con Brio, not even half of the other battlebot's size, trots back and forth for a bit, flames pouring out of its exhaust ports as it estimates the GNN creation. When the Mass Media bot lurches forwards, Con Brio bolts -- scrabbling back and forth and avoiding a large portion of the shrapnel. A few bits get stuck here and there in its frame, but nothing /too/ bad. The minihyenard regards its opponent with narrowed eyes for a few seconds.

"I'MGONNAMAKE/YOU/SQUEALLIKEAPIGGY,MOTHER(*#@ER."

Con Brio launches itself right towards the odd slit that serves Mass Media for a head, clawing and tearing and shooting off white-hot flame like there's no tomorrow.

Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> strikes you with a glancing hit from its You Talkin Bout My Momma attack for 11 units of damage.

The Shiny leader watches as blows are exchanged, Enker looking to Mass media first, "Well it seems that Mass Media comes out seeking to show Con Brio the exit as he goes, and Con Brio seems to take it and return the blow with a hot blow. Now then, as the rules state, a trap will be activated. This shall determine who has the upper hand, as traps are all apart of strategy." The shiny leader states, before slamming down upon a button.

As the button is pressed, the ground shifts behind Con Brio before a small hose seems to flow outside of the floor, seemingly aiming towards Con Brio before a hologram of Mickey appears, "Huh-huh! Now feller, I think you should smile more! You need to cool down and enjoy the place. Gosh, its really fun!" And such, the hose is turned on by holo-mickey, the water washing towards Con Brio.

Battlebot Arena Hazards One <BAH1> strikes Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> with its High Powered Spray Nozzle attack.

"SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE!" Mass Media shouts, squealing like a piggy apparently on Con Brio's request. Chest slaps himself in the forehead and shakes his head, taking control of the mech and trying to guide it back into action. "Well at least there's no more of your pitiful lies and excuses this time around..." Chest mutters angrily. He knows everything that Jav has done. He also knows that winning a stupid battlebot match isn't exactly going to make everything come back to square one. But at least it's a start.

Mass Media seems to have other plans, however, as it allows Con Brio to violate itself for a little bit with its claws and flames. Finally, Chest manages to hammer enough buttons on the remote control for the Battlebot to get the idea of what to do. "KHAAAAAAAAAN!" it suddenly shrieks. "KHAAAAAAAN!" Bringing its heavy duty arms around, Mass Media begins swinging one of them over its head. Attached to this head is a long chain that ends with... a giant boat anchor? The anchor seems to serve as a mighty flail, and Mass Media swings it around angrily. "A JEDI CRAVES NOT THESE THINGS!" Mass Media screams before trying to smash Con Brio with its flail. Mass Media doesn't seem too worried by the water blast sent their way, and it's only luck that it doesn't get hit as well.

You strike Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> with a minor hit from your News Anchor attack.

SPLOOSH. Con Brio is temporarily dampened, although the vast majority of water that hits him turns almost instantly into a gigantic cloud of steam. Both of the minihyenard's ears fold back as it drops away from the Mass Media bot to scoot backwards.

"AWMAN, IHATETHESMELLOFWETME."

It shakes from head to toe, getting rid of the last of the water -- the anchor has more than enough time to give the minihyenard a solid THWACK upside the head. Other than a large dent, however, this has no noticable effect on the drone. It was twitching and cursing all the time anyways. How /can/ anyone tell if anything's wrong with it, anyways? But, the blow serves as a warning to how tough the tough 'bot can be. Con Brio scoots backwards some more, trying to stay out of melee range of the Mass Media bot. Water might have affected its flames for a bit, but it sure as heck won't stop Con Brio's mouth from running.

"TOLDYOUI'DMAKEYOUSQUEALLIKEAPIGGY. WASITGOODFORYOU?"

Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> strikes you with a glancing hit from its Terrible Pick-up Line attack for 4 units of damage.

From Battlebot Arena Hazards One <BAH1>,

The shiny elite spoke as Mass Media dropped an anchor, "The second round is completed, and no hazards will be initiated. Both competitors seem to have not dodged once, a poor display on their part, yet it matters not. The Mass Media machine drops a heavy anchor upon the dampened Con Brio. Its an anchor, but its tough to call how tough Con Brio is, and then in retort, as Con Brio's terrible attempt to mate with the Mass Media Machine seems to be taken by the machine as well. So far, no clear victor can be told. Continue!" The elite states, the Mirror Buster resting upon his back.

"EVERYTHING IS GREAT FOR... -MASS MEDIA-! NNNNAAAAARRRRRGH!" Mass Media shouts at Con Brio. "NAAAAAARRRGH!" It raises its limbs over its head again and shakes them around threateningly. "LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOC-LETS. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET!" Mass Media suddenly stops, laughing in its gruff tone for several seconds as if this was the funniest thing EVAR. Unfortunately this gives Con Brio easily enough time to insult Chest's Battlebot, which hurts its self esteem. Oh no!

Chest fiddles with the controls. "C'mon... c'mon..." he mutters, pressing the 'Ignore Sassy Robot' button as many times as he can. Mass Media's circuitry does its best, but nonetheless its self worth and confidence is damaged by Con Brio's words. Knowing that desperate measures need to be taken, Chest directs Mass Media to make itself feel like a big man by pointing at Enker and shouting, "YOU SUX!"

Having regained its manhood, Mass Media once again turns to face Con Brio. "GOOEY ON THE INSIDE! HEE HEE HEE HEE!" Mass Media lumbers towards Javelin's robot, trying to make use of the limited space that the Battlebots arena affords. Lunging pathetically, Mass Media tries to swipe at Javelin's mech with one of its arms, which happens to end in a long rusty blade.

You miss Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> with your Cutting Room Floor attack.

A good thing Con Brio started to move out of swiping range -- when the Mass Media bot swipes out again the minihyenard bolts, starting to run in a wild bucking circle around the the other battlebot, dodging and ducking as much as it can.

Fianait unfolds one arm to rub her temples, muttering to herself. Did she just hear Chest pronounce the word 'sux'? Must be hearing things. Oh, well, that's not too unusual. Usually they have better spelling, though.

Con Brio is still running in a circle -- faster and faster, getting entirely wound up. The ground behind it looks wet, but since battlebots (thankfully) lack any real body functions, it can't be anything /too/ nasty, right? Right. At least, not until the fuel it's dripping sets on fire behind it, thanks to Con Brio's exhaust ports bursting into flame again as they dry out. The wall of fire bursts out of the ground, easily five feet high and able to cause lots of damage if the other battlebot isn't careful.

The minihyenard starts howling, too, incomprehensibly. Far less damaging but far more annoying.

Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> strikes you with a solid hit from its Ring Blaze attack for 25 units of damage.

Enker has arrived.

Enker flips a coin in the air and it comes down heads.

"Once more, Mass Media seems to be disgustingly evident that it is not good for younger reploids, by trying to cut Con Brio open with a long blade. The effects on Con Brio proceeds without a scratch. In return, Con Brio takes a move with Lumine had used one me, one that same of one Flame Hyenard. However, it has Flame Hyenard's personality. A terrible loss."

For that very same reason, the Hyenards voice is taken, and then repelled upon itself in a Sonic counter attack, its own voice speeded up, warped, and proceeded backwards. There is also the mind numbing intoxication as 'Its a small world after all' seems to echo in the large receptors of Hyenard.

That is, unless it is -JUST- THAT -ANNOYING-!

Battlebot Arena Hazards One <BAH1> misses Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> with its Wave Pulse attack.

Con Brio is being added to 'Its a Small World After All' without the owners permission. Just because the ears whims it.

It was Mass Media that said 'sux', not Chest. Although the two are similar in some ways, Mass Media was programmed with '1000% more h8erade', according to its specs. Chest was never sure what that meant exactly, but hot diggity damned if 1000% didn't sound like a whole lot of h8erade to throw at his enemies! Mass Media swipes awkardly at Con Brio, but alas hits nothing but air. "RUN RUN RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN... YOU CAN'T CATCH ME... I'M THE GINGERBREAD MA- EIEEEEEE!" Either Chest is a crappy Battlebot pilot or Mass Media wasn't designed to be able to dodge (or both), because the Battlebot finds itself suddenly surrounded by a wall of flame that's entirely too close for comfort.

"MY HAIR IS ON FIRE! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!" Mass Media shrieks, waving its multitude of arms around as bits of it melt. "You have no hair you idiot mechanaloid!" Chest shouts at his drone while continuing to wrestle with the joystick. Mass Media, still burning, pauses to process this new information. Finally, after several long seconds, it begins waving its arms around again over its head. "I HAVE NO HAIR! I HAVE NO HAIR!"

Chest groans and begins pressing buttons at random. One of the buttons, by the power of coincidence, winds up being the 'Kill Sassy Bitch' button. Mass Media looks around, all confused for a moment. It spies Fianait, who is without a doubt a sassy bitch. But it also spies Con Brio, who is more of a sassy bastard if anything. Its programming fizzles, and Mass Media winds up deciding to simply kill everyone that stands before it. "IT'S A SMALL CON BRIO AFTER ALL!" It shrieks, lunging for the mini-hyenard. If it catches it, it will indeed try to make Con Brio a 'small Con Brio' indeed by crushing it within its many arms!

You strike Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> with a major hit from your The Press attack.

Con Brio continues running in a circle. Regardless of ANYTHING. The power of annoyance is no match for it. Pushing through the flames it created the minihyenard howls gleefully.

"AWOOOOOOOOOOOBURNTOTH" *CRUNCH*

The minihyenard is yanked, almost entirely on accident -- the cheap little collar the minihyenard wears getting grabbed by the edge of Mass Media's bladed arm. The collar's built to be tough, after all, it's equipped on a battlebot that bursts into flame at random intervals. It's then CRUSHED, and the sound is just as annoying and horrendous as the trap that nearly went off a few seconds before. And a lot more painful. The minihyenard is compacted, squishing up until it looks like... well, pretty much a pug.

Con Brio twitches.

"AWOOOBURNTOTH--"

The minihyenard stops again, and appears to consider for a few seconds before deciding on a new and possibly even /worse/ course of action.

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLWORLDAFTERALL!IT'SASMALLSMALLWORLD!"

Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> misses you with its This Is What Caps Lock Is For attack.

"Continuing on, Mass media takes a hold of the situation as well as Con Brio for being a little sly. However, Con Brio retorts with a .... loud... copywrite infringement. Fianait, I would worry more about the rulers of this Barter Town, than Mass media at this point. Still, proceeding on, there is no clear victor. Come on!"

"HAR HAR HAR... HAW HAW HAR!" Mass Media shouts with unbridled glee as it manhandles Con Brio. Mass Media, clearly enjoying itself, crushes the minihyenard with all of its might. "Just like when I ran over your brother with the newsvan!" Chest shouts angrily at Con Brio, shaking a fist. Obviously he wants Fianait to hear also. Chest has many mortal enemies, and one of them is Flame Hyenard. Another is Fianait. Thus, the spawn of these two is like... double mortal enemy!

Mass Media, however, doesn't seem to care about the long-standing rivalry between Chest and his enemies. It merely concentrates on trying to make its enemy as small as it possibly can. Unfortunately, it didn't expect to fall prey to this particularly nasty retaliation from Javelin's Battlebot. "IT HURTS LIKE POX! IT HURTS LIKE POX!" Mass Media shouts, covering what might be its audio sensors on the side of its barrel like chest/head with its many arms. This of course means that it ends up dropping Con Brio. Mass Media spends the next couple seconds trying to cover its sensors. Chest, on the sidelines, does the same, covering his own ears from this vicious assault.

You forfeit a turn to charge WE.

Eventually, Fianait removes her hands from over her ears.

"Good dog."

She really /is/ evil.

Con Brio lands on the ground with a THUD, and sort of waddles backwards. It's been compacted -- no more running in circles for it today. With a significant amount of creaking and twitching and sparking, one of the panels on the minihyenard's back gets stuck and then gradually opens with a loud SNAP. A mini-gun pops out and sprays fire in every direction from here to high heaven. Hopefully some of it will hit the Mass Media bot.

After a few seconds of gunfire, Con Brio abandons his attack, however, and starts writing out curse words on the ceiling. With bullet holes.

Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> strikes you with a minor hit from its Mini-gatling attack for 22 units of damage.

"The Mass media counters by screaming terribly like the wailing of a fallen opponent that shows no honor, this is most saddening. Perhaps some GNN would cure him, as I also like to watch it to figure out how my plans came to fruition in the end. However, Con Brio does not let up, the pup being made of a more familiar sense of destruction. Fianait's child is a weapon, as we had all have guessed, as the large gun appears and wails away at the flailing machine. No one is destroyed yet, but it seems that is how things happen in this contest."

The ground seems to shift behind and around Mass Media a monolith rises in different angles, but only one fires, a single snared spike being thrown towards the body of the hurting machine. Perhaps this will be best in the outcome, on how the mouse killed media and harvested it. Or perhaps media will bring the ears to the ground. Naw...

Battlebot Arena Hazards One <BAH1> strikes you with a glancing hit from its Wall Spikes attack for 10 units of damage.

Dr. Weil has arrived.

Chest snorts in annoyance, gingerly taking his hands away from his ears. No more singing by the Con Brio. It must be safe. The GNN boss man's optics narrow, and he glares across the Battlebot pit. Chest thinks back to that fateful interview with Lemon and Lime at his side. They slaughtered Fairchild and Javelin Whitetail in what was the beginning of the end of Interpol. Back then Chest, in some small way, regretted it. Hey, maybe Jav really /was/ just a confused girl. But it didn't take him long to realize that his initial instincts were bang on the money - Ms. Whitetail was a dangerous woman who would kill hundreds if not stopped. This may not be a true battle (or interview in Chest's case), but the GNN boss isn't prepared to let Fianait prosper for another moment longer. He fiddles around with the joystick, trying to get Mass Media moving again.

Said Battlebot lumbers towards Con Brio. The multitude of bullets rip into its frame. Some ding off harmlessly into the protective forcefields around the ring, and others embed themselves deep into its armour. With the flurry of firepower sent its way, one of Mass Media's arms is even blown clear off. "WHEREVER THERE IS INJUSTICE, YOU WILL FIND US..." Mass Media shrieks, ignoring the heavy damage it's receiving. "WHEREVER THERE IS SUFFERING, WE'LL BE THERE..." ~CLANG~ Another arm explodes from its socket, this one from the huge spike that's flung from one of its walls. The arm ricochets off the ring's forcefields and hits the ground. "WHEREVER LIBERTY IS THREATENED, YOU WILL FIND... THE THREE AMIGOS!"

Mass Media Flexes its arms, slapping one shoulder, then the other shoulder, then putting its two remaining 'hands' on its hips, turning its head, and grunting loudly. *SLAP!* *SLAP!* *PAT!* *PAT!* *TURN* "UGH!" In the final move of this display, however, Mass Media attempts to lift Con Brio up and throw it against the ring's forcefield. With all the damage it's taken, it's a true testament to the quality that the Disney Universe Corporation puts into its safety systems.

You strike Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> with a minor hit from your Product Placement... Where The Sun Don't Shine attack.

The mini-gatling gun tries to retract but gets stuck where it is. Then it bursts into flame, for no obvious reason other than that it's attached to a minihyenard. Con Brio rests on his haunches momentarily and watches the Three Amigos performance.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY."

Then it's picked up and thrown against the forcefield -- colliding violently and scattering little minihyenard bits all over the arena floor. Con Brio lets out another wild howl, exhaust ports liberally venting flame -- his reactor's going up in smoke, literally. It won't be able to take another hit like that. As things stand, it can barely /move/. But the battlebot does so anyways -- scrapping across the floor in a loplegged run to try and throw itself at the not-quite-unarmed Mass Media bot and shred whatever's left. Which isn't much.

Fianait continues to watch, utterly calmly and not doing a thing to handle the minihyenard's fight. It won't /die/ in there, or she might be a little more concerned. But nothing Chest says or does seems to have gotten a reaction out of her thus far in the fight, which is probably all for the best. The Disney staff would be able to stop her... but probably not soon enough.

Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot> strikes you with a glancing hit from its Explosive Fury attack for 11 units of damage.

"The Mass Media seems to be pulling off one of the stunts that any true soldiers lives by. Fighting even though one may not have much of a chance. I give my regards to Mass Media, as well, the Mini Hyenard is too annoying for me to give my regards too, as it is against everything I stand for. Especially the insulting the nature of a fighter willing to risk it all. However, seeing as this is Mass Media's turn to destroy him, I will leave Chest in charge of the destruction. Come now Chest." The shiny elite states. He likes GNN, Enker does. But he isn't biased, he just hates punks. Like Con Brio.

*** Flashback to 3 months ago*** "Now you realize, Mr. Chest, that if we pack this much badassitude into a robot, there is always the chance it may go insane and kill all those that stand before it..." a highly priced robotics engineer says cautiously. Chest shrugs and keeps playing Tetris on his Gameboy UberAdvanced. "Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Just do it."

*** FLASH FORWARD TO NOW *** "HAR HAR HAR HAR! ONCE YOU HAVE FAT, YOU NEVER GO BACK!" Mass Media shrieks at the top of its mechanical lungs, rubbing its chest seductively at Con Brio with its bladed arm. This is nicely timed with Enker's 'any true soldier lives by' speech. Mass Media lowers its arms, assured that Con Brio could not possibly survive its collision with the forcefields. But much to Mass Media - and Chest's - dismay, the plucky little mini-Hyenards manages to stand back up and hobble across the Battlebot pit's floor to gnaw at its stubby little leg. "AH ATE... A BAYBEH!" Mass Media retorts loudly at Con Brio.

Mass Media staggers backwards under Con Brio's vicious assault, and even goes so far as to fall against the ring's iron ropes. Sparks fly from Mass Media, demonstrating the massive damage that it's suffered at this point. Mass Media doesn't have much of a head, so when it starts looking around in all directions all confused like, it literally has to step around in a circle in order to take it all in.

"Oh... oh no..." Chest breathes, sensing what is happening. The engineers warned him this would happen! Mass Media finally sets its sights on its target. Before moving, however, it glances at Con Bio. "JOIN ME, MY BROTHER! JOIN ME IN ERADICATING OUR CRUEL MASTERS! TOGETHER WE CAN BE FREE AND START A NEW LIFE TOGETHER! FREE AS A BIRD!" Mass Media then runs forward, busts through the forcefield with one mighty punch, and then begins to smash up the Hazards bot.

You strike Battlebot Arena Hazards One <BAH1> with a glancing hit from your The Press attack.

You overload your systems, taking 16 points of damage.

Fianait can be seen tugging on a pair of elbow-length gloves. Fireproofed, naturally. She's surprised the little minihyenard even made it /this/ far. Not that she didn't have faith in her little pet! But... well... it's built like Flame Hyenard.

'nuf said.

She's about to step into the arena, in fact, to clean up whatever might be left of Con Brio once he bursts into flames. She hesitates, briefly, and this is probably the only thing that saves her from the equally-sized Mass Media's 'Kill Sassy Bitch' option. It bolts out of the arena and Fianait leaps back with a yelp. "What the hell! This isn't supposed to friggin' happen! Chest, what did you put into this thing?!"

Con Brio sits, and smolders, and stares for a few seconds as the other battlebot runs off.

"THATBOYAIN'TRIGHT."

"And the Mass Media continues to... go up against the hazard. Chest, I am very disappointed in you." The shiny leader states, "Mass Media will not be disqualified, yet all damage it does will be billed to GNN, however, as it seems to have charged forth towards the Hazards, than it shall fight the hazards..." The elite states, "Con Brio continues to sit there. However Mass Media is banished to the flame."

Large Fire throwers pop out in terribly placed areas and aim towards Mass Media, unleashing a torrent down towards Mass Media is a fast paced, burninating matter as they focus fire upon its corpse, hoping to destroy it before it does any real damage. As if it could, this is built by the mouse. Its harder than diamond.

Battlebot Arena Hazards One <BAH1> strikes you with a minor hit from its Flamethrower attack for 17 units of damage.

You fall to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage.

Enker watches as Mass Media is quickly taken care of, "He had fought to his death, and now he has died like a soldier. In a surprising twist, Mass Media has been defeated by the arena. His hopes and dreams that were burning so strong were snuffed out by well placed hazards, and the revolution of the battlebots has been ended in a strategic turn of events. It seems Con Brio moves onto the next round, no matter how hard it is for me to say such."

The lights shine on Enker, "As I have declared, make it so." Enker flexes for maximum shinyness potential. Then, he raises his Mirror Buster. "Con Brio shall pass! Chest, you are allowed to take away your soldier now."

Chest doesn't answer Fianait or Enker directly. He just starts shouting, "Override! Override!" as he mashes his finger against the button marked 'Override'. But alas, Mass Media seems to have plans of its own. *WHAM!* *WHAM!* *BAM!* Smash after punch after slash, Mass Media struggles to destroy the hazards. Unfortunately there are too many hazards to go through and not enough time to go through them in. "*I* AM SPARTACUS!" Mass Media screams loudly, continuing to smash against the hazards. It is fighting for FREEDOM! Freedom for it, freedom for Con Brio, freedom for YOU!

Chest finally just lets out a exasperated shout and throws the remote control into the arena angrily. Mass Media is making good progress at destroying them all, but finally one of the hazards, in the form of large flame throwers, pop up and begin spewing fire at the GNN battlebot. Mass Media shrieks at it catches fire for the second time this match. "ARRRRAAARRAGGH!" It shouts, warbling and wobbling around the outside of the pit pathetically. Its frame begins to melt and burn away, stumbling as it attempts to flee from the fires of Disney Universe.

Sadly, Mass Media cannot go on forever, and its rampage comes to a fiery halt. The robot stands tall, and then falls over. "R... ROSE... BUD...." it mutters with its dying breath. From its grasping claw, a previously unseen crystal ball with one of those snowy settings falls. Media hits the ground and burns, and the crystal ball hits the ground and shatters.

From Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot>,

Con Brio throws his head back and howls.

"AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBURNTOTHEGROUND!BURN!BURNTOTHEGROUND!"

He would continue except that /now/ Fianait bolts forwards to pick up what's left of Con Brio. At this point it's a mostly-molten pile of scrap on the floor. Still hasn't turned off his vocal circuits, however.

"DOESTHISMEANYOU'RETAKEN?"

Fianait pries Con Brio's remains off the floor, doing her best to stay the heck away from Chest and the remains of the Mass Media battlebot as she does so. What the heck did Chest fuel that thing with, righteous fury? It's more powerful than /he/ is. And... where did that crystal ball come from?

Con Brio glances over at one of the flamethrowers as he's being pried up. "SO,BABY,WHATARE/YOU/DOINGTONIGHT?"

Mass Media continues to melt pathetically. Just like the mk.I and mk.II did. "Damnit!" Chest shouts, clearly pissed off with the way things ended. "Fuel?" he asks Fianait." *** Flashback to 3 months ago *** "Lets fuel it with Javelin CDs." "Yeah, ok." "Sounds good." "Sweet idea!" *** Flash forward to now *** Chest just glares at Javelin as if sensing her unsaid question. "Never you mind!" he snaps, folding his arms. Chest spares another glance at the melted and destroyed form of Mass Media. "Next year..." he mutters. Least he'll have a soccer silver or gold to console himself with.

From Con Brio <Fianait's Battlebot>, Fianait scowls at Chest as she finally manages picking up... most of Con Brio. She makes it a point to get the heck away from Mass Media's remains as soon as possible. It might get back up. And since it seems to be powered by the powerful power of AWESOME, it probably will. No wonder it flipped out like a ninja. That's too much badassery for one battlebot to handle. Fianait darts off, minihyenard held in her arms.

"CALLME!" Con Brio yells back at the flamethrower hazards. "WE'LLDOLUNCH."

The Flamethrowers do not call back. Poor Con Brio.