Flemish States

 

     Here on the edge of Europe we find a gargantuan wall. This dyke rises into the air 200 feet, and has expanded the local land mass of the Flemish Confederation by twenty percent. The large indigo wall stands like a vigilant warrior against the constant threat of the sea. On the land, one finds a literal horizon full of large wind mills, providing booster energy to the nation. Occasionally one will spy a conventional windmill of another time placed next to the new wave version. All over, the advanced agriculture of the confederacy has produced the finest tulips, which cover the ground below. The cities of Brussels, New New Amsterdam, and Luxumbourg sparkle like jewels within the kinetic landscape.

     In contrast, the southern part of the Flemish States lie in ruin, as a great swath of destruction was cut through here by the Maverick Enigma Cannon. Burned out grasslands and the hollows of buildings mark a landscape where nothing thrives, and nothing will grow, for a very long time.

 

Dr. Light [Flight] [MH]                Claymation <Dr. Matthews> [MH]

Mass Media mk.II <Chest> [C] [#2068 Tnp]Sewa [Sewa] [C]

Onga's Ghost Plushie                   Kart Parent

Battlebot Arena Hazards                Battle and Chase Stands - Battlebots

RF Outpost <Brussels> [RF]             Maverick Outpost

 

 

South <S> leads to France.

East <E> leads to Germany.

Up <U> leads to Sky Above Western Europe.

 

A limo pulls up to the battlebot stadium. Surely this would normally be nothing to write home about, this particular limo contains none other than everyone's favorite media man, CHEST. The limo doors open up, and Chest hovers out, offering a wave to all of his fans. There's a crowd around, waving their GNN banners and wearing their I <8 Chest' T-Shirts and eating their News-Burgers. Chest grins to himself and

chomps down on a cigar. Following Chest out of the limo is his personal drone and journalist-appliance, Camera. The wheeled drone whistles in annoyance and pulls behind him a trolly. On the trolly is something

underneath a white cloth. Whatever it is underneath that cloth, it looks very spikey.

 

And soon to arrive is Chest's opponent. Dr. Matthew's arrival heralds little praise or adulation from the crowd--She was, after all, not one of the 'big three' of the Hunters. So while she got a good deal of cheering in the single combat match simply for being who she was, and fighting against a Maverick, in this instance it was the opposite case it would seem. She had no fans of her own. Marching along at a slow, leisurely pace to make up for the bruising she still feels as a result of that match a hovercart floats along obediently behind her. What'ver is on it is lumpy, but otherwise indistinguishable from a pile of detris.

 

Chest and Camera make their way to the arena itself, with Chest smoking the entire way. "That's right, you malfunctioning scrap-heap," he tells his drone, "If Mass Media wins this match, I just might replace YOU with him! You'll get the glorious position as paperweight!" Chest shakes his fist at it. Camera angrily beeps something back which is probably a bunch of swear-words. Chest finally unhooks the trolley from the drone and, with great flourish, pulls off the cloth, revealing the robot underneath. "Behold... MASS MEDIA!" Chest shouts in a booming voice. "Designed to be the greatest in shear asskicking battlebot

skill by a team of *mutter*expensive*mutter* robotic engineers... outfitted with the latest in booty-smacking technology... armed with the finest in second amendment goodness... protected by more layers of armour than a Double Big Mac... and completely empty of all sucktitude from last year!" Chest whips out a remote control and starts fiddling around with it.

        Mass Media, a dark brown and black robot with six pointy arms that end in bizarre and brutal weaponry, suddenly comes to life. Its stubby legs carry it off the trolley. Mass Media Mk II raises four of its arms over its head, "CRUSH... MAIM... DESTROY!!" it shouts, shaking its weapons and fists madly. Chest smiles and wipes a tear from his eye. "Sniff... I taught him to say that."

 

And, from the center of the arena...nothing happens! Oh no!

 

Oh, wait. The referee podium is /above/ the arena. That dosen't bode well. Smoke fills the room, as the combatents enter. At the center of the podium, in a full dress...labcoat(with tassles!) is none other than Docter Light. He waves to the cheering crowd. "Two tiny, tiny robots enter the arena today! One, a creature of clay and ham! The other, a subtle reference to the fourth estate! Which power will triumph?" Light holds up a bell pepper...and bites right into it! "Begin!"

 

Rigger merely goes about getting her bot ready for battle while Chest does his incredibly posturing revealing of his own. She pauses breifly to glance over while shaking her head, and giving a soft cluck of her tongue in reproach. "Oh come on, they even sell 'build your own battlebot' kits at Radio Hut these days. You couldn't make it yourself?" A broad shrug is given however as she tugs off the sheet for her own, and smacks a hand down on what appears to be a brick. Of course, the entire thing looked like a pile of bricks lego-locked together. What she hit was apparently the 'on' switch as it rises on four stocky legs to shamble towards the starting position.

 

And in that 'pile of bricks' two eyes glow red. Oooooooooooooooohcreepy.

 

Mass Media, with Chest working the remote control like someone who can't program his VCR, stumbles into the ring. It shakes one of its long, bulky arms at Claymation. "DEATH TO ALL WHO OPPOSE GNN!!" It booms. Mass Media turns towards the crowd long enough to shout, "SOON ALL WILL FALL BEFORE MY MIGHT!!" Lumbering around like a water buffalo on crack cocaine, Mass Media doesn't look to be the most stable of robots. But that's ok, because Chest specifically made sure that it looks -mean-. The spikes, brutal weapons. "NAAAARGH!" Finally Mass Media turns back to face the hidden opponent. Chest, meanwhile, takes out his cigar long enough to quip, "Dr. Matthews, I don't even chew my own food if I don't want to." The GNN boss

nods as Claymation is revealed, "Very nice." Chest says. "NAAAAARGH!!" Mass Media repeats.

 

Mass Media mk.II <Chest> tries to steady itself with Chest's erratic handling of the battlebot. Camera beeps something insulting, but Chest merely puts his cigar back in his mouth and retorts, "You're next on the list after Mass Media and I trash the four-legged lego piece, bucko." Mass Media stumbles awkwardly, still trying to get its footing. "No!" Chest shouts at the thing, "Not that way you stupid piece of crap! Get your weapons ready!" He fiddles around with the controls again, but instead, Mass Media stumbles pathetically around, finally coming close to pathetically smashing into Claymation. Hopefully really, /really/ close.

 

You miss Claymation <Dr. Matthews> with your News Travels Fast attack.

 

"Worthless hunk of crap!" Chest shouts. Camera begins laughing.

 

It seemed at least one person here knew how to handle their battlebot. Perhaps Chest should have bought lessons on how to use the joystick as well. Rigger quite calmly expends minimal effort to maneuver the bot even as she has it dodge with amazing dexterity for a pile of bricks. Then it rears up on two 'legs' to tower over Mass Media. It teeters, totters, and then comes crashing down--Not to try and hit Mass Media, but to try and *surround* it. If successfull the temprature begins to rise as internal fire-jets are activated aimed towards it's captive audience.

 

Claymation <Dr. Matthews> strikes you with a solid hit from its Clay Oven attack for 31 units of damage.

 

You take extra damage due to your Fire weakness.

 

The arena floor...

 

Remains ominously silent.

 

Mass Media mk.II <Chest> stumbles around pathetically, nearly falling over half a dozen times. Claymation manages to avoid the clumsy... er... maybe it was an attack, and maybe it wasn't. The Battlebot is helpless to try and avoid the sudden heat. "NAAARGH!" it shouts as it stumbles around. "Blast it!" Chest mutters, "Hot air... the only weakness of the press!" Chest shakes his fist across to Rigger and grabs the controls again. "Alright, Mass Media, time to show this overgrown pile of play-dough what you can do." One of Mass Media's arms begins swinging its weapon around: A huge chain connected to a... good God... is that an /boat anchor/ at the end of that flail? Mass Media shouts, "PREPARE FOR TERMINATION!!" and swings the brutal weapon, trying to make the clay go SPLAT!

 

You miss Claymation <Dr. Matthews> with your News Anchor attack.

 

Rigger merely grins and gives Chest a cheeky wink while he shakes his fist impotently at her. The anchor being swung around is avoided as the pile of bricks shift, and reform to the side of where the anchor was aiming. The bricks seem to hunker a little low to avoid it being swung overhead none the less. A single brick near the front turns up on end only to disapear into the small hole formed by several. With a great

*PITUEY* the brick shoots out like a bullet towards it's opponent.

 

Claymation <Dr. Matthews> strikes you with a minor hit from its Brick Bomb attack for 15 units of damage.

 

You take less damage due to your Explosive resistances.

 

Light continues to munch on his manly, manly pepper.

 

Chest grins as Mass Media takes the brick missile square to its bulky, ugly and spikey chest. Mass Media staggers back, clearly damaged. "Nothin' like the media to take care of an explosive situation," he quips. Boy, he's on a roll today, isn't he? Chest expertly (ho ho ho) pilots Mass Media back into range of Claymation while recoiling in its anchor. After withstanding that powerful, powerful blast relatively well, Mass Media turns to the crowd and raises its arms over its head. "OOOOOOOOOOHHHH YEEEEEAAAAAH!! SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM! DIG IT!!" Back to the fray! Mass Media refocuses on Claymation and simply lunges for the thing, striking out with many of its arms in a brutal attempt to make the brick... thing... go smoosh with its powerful arms!

 

You strike Claymation <Dr. Matthews> with a solid hit from your Breaking News attack.

 

Claymation takes the hit! Ohnoes! A few of the bricks seem to crack around the brittle, dry edges, and it's forcefully rearranged into an odd hour-glass shape where Mass Media's arms are the squished middle area. Frowning Rigger pushes a few buttons, and then wiggles the joystick. Back and forth, back and forth. Bricks pile up ontop as the wiggle becomes stronger in an attempt to finally just *tip* over onto Mass Media with a slow, creaking groan as it comes down.

 

"Timber."

 

Claymation <Dr. Matthews> strikes you with a solid hit from its Between A Rock And A Hard Place attack for 23 units of damage.

 

The floor is still ominously silent...

 

Oh, wait, no it isn't. At least, not /now/, since a rocket blasts out of the /floor/, charging at the Clay-monster. Suprise!

 

Battlebot Arena Hazards misses Claymation <Dr. Matthews> with its Surprise Rocket attack.

 

Mass Media mk.II <Chest> laughs with glee as it finally manages to grab a hold of the slippery, slippery Claymation. Even though the power of Slim Jims did not result in the summoning of Randy "The Macho Man" Savage so he could beat the opposing Battlebot over the head with a folding chair, Chest is still pleased to have finally struck Dr. Matthew's robot. "NAAARGH!!" Mass Media shouts. But alas, although there was A New Hope for Chest and his Battlebot, Rigger Strikes Back. Claymation topples on top of Mass Media, which lumbers away pathetically. Despite Chest's best attempts, his robot is hit hard, and one of its spikey arms is torn from its socket. Pieces of it now litters the Battlebot ring. Chest, luckily, is able to get out of the way of any missiles meant for Claymation. Mass Media readies another of its arms. This one has a sharp, jagged blade at the end. "FAIR AND BALANCED!!" Mass Media shrieks at Claymation before trying to run it through with the sword.

 

You strike Claymation <Dr. Matthews> with a major hit from your Cutting Room Floor attack.

 

"Oh, now you've done it," Rigger remarks while staring at the few flashing lights on the handheld remote she holds. Battle damage notations. A glance is cast up towards the arena again as she rearranges the bot to it's original form--Which perhaps unsurprisingly looks like a four-legged version of a Space Invaders video game sprite. There were only so many things you could DO with bricks. The reforming moves it over a foot or two however which is precisely what spares it from the room hazard rockets that jet by--Much to Dr. Matthew's relief.

 

Again Claymation's eyes glow red, flickering with fire that spouts out from the sockets seemingly catching the entire bot on fire. One 'leg' lifts to stomp out for Mass Media. "Hey, Chest! I got a hot lead for you!"

 

Claymation <Dr. Matthews> strikes you with a major hit from its Hot Brick Death attack for 40 units of damage.

 

You take extra damage due to your Fire weakness.

 

You fall to the ground, unconscious, due to massive systems damage.

 

Light blinks, and holds up a gloved hand. "Time! This round is finished, by which to say, is over, by which to say, is quite done with itself! The winner, that is, the one who triumphed, is Dr. Julie Matthews! Huzzahs all around!"

 

Flashback to six months ago!

 

       Chest is standing amongst his team of GNN approved engineers. One of the engineers is telling him, "Ok, now we won't be able to make the armour immune to /everything/, you understand. It'll wind up being weak to -something-." Chest thinks about it. "How about fire?" he suggests. "Tsk. Nobody ever uses fire." Chest waves his hand dismissively. The team of engineers all nod and agree with him.

 

       Flash forward to the present! "FZZRRRTT! ALL THESE MOMENTS..." Mass Media warbles as it lumbers around, engulfed in flames. "ALL THESE MOMENTS... WILL BE LOST IN TIME... LIKE TEARS... IN RAIN..." Mass Media Mk. II stumbles, still burning away brightly. Finally, the behemoth falls to the ground, burning and melting somehow at the same time. "MEEEELLLLTING... MEEEEELLLLLLLTING!! OHHHHH... WHAT A WORLD! WHAT A WORLD!!" Mass Media's shrieks die down pitifully. One of its limbs breaks off as the Battlebot is consumed and lands right next to Chest's position. The GNN media mogul hmmms and lights up another cigar. "Easy come, easy go, I guess."

 

Dr. Matthews powers down the battlebot before any further damage can be done. She'd have to look over it--to an extent--later. For now it just shuts down, and resumes it's life as a pile of baked clay. "Better luck next time, Chest. Good match."

 

Chest takes a puff from his cigar and tosses the remote control into the melting wreck that used to be his Battlebot. He nods to Dr. Matthews and gives a slight salute with his cigar. "No complaints here, Doc. Don't worry, I'll be back next year." he vows.