"Hush!" Iolaus warned, his finger pressed against his pursed lips, remember, you have to be quiet when hunting rabbits�got it?"
"Got it. Be quiet," Hercules murmured- and stepped on a dry twig that broke under his weight with a loud 'snap!'
Iolaus, creeping through the underbrush just a couple of feet ahead, froze, and then slowly turned on his best buddy.
"Oops! Sorry, Iolie!" Hercules apologized softly, and giggled.
Iolaus groaned as Iphy snickered from behind them.
"Herc, let's go over this again, okay?" Iolaus said with remarkable patience, "Now, repeat after me: 'you have to be very, very, quiet when hunting rabbits'."
"You have to be vewy, vewy quiet when hunting wabbits," Hercules repeated solemnly.
"Rabbits," Iolaus corrected.
"Wabbits," Hercules said.
"Close enough," Iolaus decided, ignoring Iphy's snicker. "Now follow right behind me and do what I do, okay?"
"Okay, Iolie!" Hercules chirped.
Iolaus took a deep breath, let it out slowly, then faced forward, easing silently through the underbrush towards the little pond deep in the woods. Okay, it really wasn't all *that* deep in the woods, but it was about as far as Alcmene was going to let Hercules venture, even with Iphy as a chaperone. Alcmene got a severe case of the nerves whenever her youngest got out of eyesight. "There are so many wild animals in the woods, Iolaus," she had tried to explain, "It...may not be safe for Hercules to be so far away from the farm." She always got such an odd look when she let Hercules go anywhere, almost like she didn't think he'd make it back home. Iolaus, used to more or less fending for himself all day, couldn't understand it, but he didn't like to make Alcmene look so worried, so he seldom pressed the matter, content to play on the forest's edge or in the village.
"Now, be as quiet as a mouse, Herc," Iolaus instructed in a whisper. They were getting close to the pond, and Iolaus didn't want to scare off all the wildlife for a mile in every direction.
"Just like a itty-bitty mousie," Hercules promised, just before tripping over his own feet and falling face-first into the undergrowth with a startled yelp and a resounding thud.
Iolaus slapped his own forehead, remembering not to clobber himself with his new bow, an early birthday gift from Alcmene.
Iphy, grinning, hooked his struggling little brother under the arms and hauled him to his feet.
"Told you this was a waste of time," he snickered, "My baby brother will never be a great hunter."
"Yes, I will!" Hercules protested, shaking bits of leaves and twigs from his hair.
"Will not!" Iphy countered.
"Will too!"
"Not!"
"Too!"
Says who?!"
"Iolie says!" Hercules exclaimed triumphantly, with the air of one who knows he's won the argument by quoting an unimpeachable expert.
'Iolie', meanwhile, was watching the exchange glumly. Herc may not have been able to grasp how to tease Iphy back, but he was certainly getting the hang of arguing with his brother.
"You two done?" he asked wearily.
Hercules frowned, puzzled by his friend's response.
"Did I do something wrong, Iolie?" he asked tentatively. His normally cheerful friend wasn't smiling and joking and joining in like he usually did.
"Nothin'" Iolaus lied. Quiet as a mouse- yeah, right. The biggest, loudest, most giggly mouse in all of Greece. But, by the Gods, he wasn't about to give up now. They were going to bag a rabbit today, even if doing so killed them all.
This hunting trip wasn't turning out like Iolaus had planned at all. Instead of getting to show off his stealth and prowess to Hercules, they had gotten stuck with Iphy, who had alternated between grumbling and snickering through the whole trek into the forest, as Hercules seemed to find each and every loose root in the whole wood to trip over.
Iolaus was beginning to think this might not have been such a grand idea after all, but he would roast in Tartarus before he would admit it.
At nearly eight, Iolaus was right between the brother's ages, older than Hercules by two years, younger than Iphicles by three, and shorter, wiser, and quicker of wit and body than either.
The brothers were divided by more than just age. They had different views on almost everything, including Iolaus himself. Hercules worshiped the ground his 'Iolie' walked on. Iphicles just couldn't figure out why the village 'bad seed' had taken such a shine to his dreamy, clumsy baby brother.
It was a mystery, as was where Iolaus got his seemingly endless patience when dealing with Hercules. The Gods knew, you needed patience to deal with Hercules. When he wasn't talking to trees and seeing things that just weren't there, he was generally either falling over something or breaking something- usually both.
Iphicles had no way of knowing that whenever Iolaus got really close to losing his temper with Hercules, the image of Skouros in a rage would spring before his eyes. Iolaus wanted to be many things when he grew up, but 'just like' his father wasn't one of them.
"Herc," Iolaus tried again, "You have to be very quiet to sneak up on rabbits. They have very good hearing, y'know. Big ears." He demonstrated by pulling long, invisible ears up from his head.
Hercules cocked his head to the side curiously, frowning slightly.
"But why do you have to sneak up on them?" he asked.
"To catch them, Herc," Iolaus explained wearily, wondering why Hercules couldn't seem to grasp the fundamental concept of 'stalking', "They aren't just gonna hop up to you, y'know."
Hercules blinked. "Why not?" he asked.
Iolaus rolled his eyes skyward as Iphy snickered again. "They just aren't, okay? Trust me on this, Herc."
"Okay, Iolie," Hercules replied, still looking a little bewildered.
Sighing again, Iolaus took Hercules by the hand and led him through the underbrush, Iphy following behind them, still snickering.
Reaching the little pond, the boys spread out along the edges of the clearing at Iolaus' direction.
"Rabbits mostly come out at night, but since this is so far from people, they sometimes come here during the day to drink," Iolaus explained, crouching down under a large bush and making himself as comfortable as possible. Truth to tell, it might be a long wait, as rabbits did prefer dusk and dawn to drink. But, Alcmene wasn't about to let Hercules wander around the woods after dark, even with Iolaus and Iphicles to watch him. She had grounded the whole lot of them for a week the last time they had done it, even though it had been an emergency. She had forgiven them for cutting up her best sheet in order to rescue the mysterious woman with the shining hair, but she hadn't forgiven them for leaving the house without waking her first. Mothers could get upset about the strangest things! Iolaus hadn't minded that his Mom had let Alcmene determine all their punishments, and he hadn't minded helping Herc and Iphy with the weeding. But that sewing business was for the birds, and he wasn't about to risk having to darn Iphy's socks again.
The boys settled down under their respective bushes, and silence fell- for a while.
After a few minutes, Hercules asked softly, "Iolie, can we play a game while we wait?"
"No, Herc, we just sit quietly and wait for rabbits," Iolaus said firmly, shaking his head.
"Oh," Hercules replied. He sighed, and squirmed around, trying to get more comfortable. A few more minutes passed.
"Iolie, can we play now?" Hercules asked.
All that earned him was an irritated look and a hissed, "Shush!" Hercules sighed again, gaze wandering.
"Oh, look, a flutterby!" he exclaimed, clapping happily.
Iolaus gritted his teeth and counted to ten before correcting him. "That's a butterfly, Herc. Now sit down, please?"
Iphicles snickered, "Give it up, Iolaus, you'll never win that one. Hercules refuses to call butterflies 'butterflies'."
"They aren't!" Hercules insisted. "It's not their fault people always get their names wrong!" he added, holding out his hand to the fluttering insect. To Iolaus' amazement, it promptly changed coarse to flutter toward his friend, alighting on the outstretched finger and slowly flexing its wings, as though showing off. Hercules gently 'petted' it with one finger, before it drifted away on the breeze.
Hercules looked after it longingly, then settled back down with a sigh. "Iolie, when can we play?" he asked wistfully.
"As soon as we catch a rabbit, okay?" Iolaus answered wearily.
"Okay, Iolie," Hercules replied, sounding happier.
A few moments later, Iphy looked around from where he had been staring towards the pond and realized something was wrong.
"Oh-oh, where's Hercules?" he asked.
Iolaus blinked, tearing his own gaze from the pond's edge to regard the bush a few yards to his right. "Herc?" he called softly.
No answer.
"Damnit, he's done it again!" Iphy snarled, straightening and tucking his slingshot into his waistband. "He's wandered off, Iolaus. We better go find him. Momma will have a fit if we go home without him. C'mon." Still grumbling, he started off around the pond, softly calling his brother's name between grumbles.
Iolaus rose to his feet, perplexed. Iphicles had warned him of Hercules' propensity to 'wander off' without warning, but the blonde had never actually witnessed it before. Except for the birds singing overhead, there hadn't been a sound for the last few minutes. So, how could somebody who made as much noise as Herc get up and leave with him noticing or hearing anything? You could usually hear Herc coming from a mile away.
"How?" he demanded, catching up with Iphicles after stashing his bow beneath the bush.
Iphy shrugged, arms outstretched, a big-brotherly long-suffering look on his face. "How does he do anything?" he said, "All I know is he does this all the time, and we had better find him before dark!"
Splitting up, the boys circled the little pond, calling Hercules' name, softly at first, then louder when he didn't answer. Eventually, they ended up face-to-face, back where they had started, and without the still-missing Hercules.
"He's got to be around here somewhere," Iolaus exclaimed in frustration mixed with amazement.
"We hope! I swear, he can disappear for hours, Iolaus, and then you turn around and he right behind you, acting like he never left!" Iphy grouched, bending to peer beneath a particularly large bush suspiciously.
Iolaus didn't reply, his attention elsewhere; specifically, it was directed at the small pond. Grabbing Iphy's wrist, he dropped into a crouch, pulling the taller boy down with him.
"Look!" he hissed excitedly, "Rabbits!" He pointed towards the pond's mossy bank, and the three tiny bunnies cavorting along it. Iolaus frowned, disappointment overshadowing excitement. These bunnies were obviously too small to hunt, being just babies.
Then a much larger rabbit hopped out of the bush towards the bunnies, and Iolaus realized instantly that it was the doe. He mood fell. He had been hoping for a nice, big buck. Killing a doe with bunnies wasn't right.
"Iolie?" Hercules said from behind him, his voice very loud in the quiet forest.
Intent on the rabbit family, Iolaus motioned for him to crouch down without even bothering to look up, though he did point out to Iphy, "Herc's back. Guess he was watering a bush."
"I don't think so," Iphy replied, sounding amused.
"Iolie?" Hercules said again, his voice a little louder.
"Shush!" Iolaus admonished him fiercely, "Get down and stay down this time!"
"Why?" Hercules asked, sounding a little hurt at his friend's response.
"With any luck, we just might catch a rabbit! There might be others around here, so be quiet, Herc and get down!" Iolaus hissed.
"But I've already caught our wabbit, Iolie," Hercules announced proudly.
Iolaus blinked as that statement registered in his brain, along with Iphy's snicker. Slowly, carefully, he twisted and looked up.
Hercules grinned down proudly, the biggest, fattest rabbit Iolaus had ever seen in his young life cradled in his arms. The rabbit looked sleepily down at the astonished young blonde as it calmly nibbled at the handful of greens Hercules was feeding it.
"You have to admit, he gone and caught a rabbit, Iolaus," Iphicles observed, bursting into giggles at the look of shock on Iolaus' face.
"Can we play now, Iolie?" Hercules asked hopefully.
"Errr," Iolaus replied, still trying to digest the sight before him.
Hercules smiled, obviously delighted that he had managed to surprise his friend. "I caught our bunny," he said, offering Iolaus the fat rabbit, who, for its part, continued to regard the astonished blonde nonchalantly as it busily munched the second handful of greens Herc produced from inside his shirt, "Now what do we do so we can go play?"
"Ah," Iolaus responded, as long-standing survival instincts snapped awake. However it had gotten here, Iolaus wasn't about to let good meat go to waste.
Reaching down, he pulled his hunting knife from the sheath strapped to his leg as he announced, "Now we kill it."
Hercules' eyes grew as big as saucers. "Why?" he squeaked, shocked.
"Don't-" Iphicles tried to warn the blonde, but he was an instant too late.
"To make delicious rabbit stew!" Iolaus crowed, eyes gleaming at the thought of what a big pot this rabbit would make. Why, there might be enough for seconds!
"Oh, Gods, now you've done it!" Iphy groaned, "So much for that idea!"
Hercules' eyes were gleaming, too, but not from excitement, but from the sudden wetness filling them.
"There's rabbits in rabbit stew?" he whispered, horrified. He clutched the fat rabbit protectively against his chest, staring at his best pal in shock. "Iolie, you eat bunnies? That's horrible!" He shrank back from the blonde boy.
"Huh?!" Iolaus exclaimed, bewildered by Hercules' reaction.
"Iolaus, we don't tell Hercules where M-E-A-T comes from," Iphy informed him wearily.
"I'm not dumb, Iphy! I know that spells 'food', and I know where food come from! Momma buys it at the market, she doesn't go killing things! That's murder!" Hercules exclaimed, breathing rapidly, looking very much like he was about to break and run.
"And that is why we don't tell Hercules where it comes from," Iphy sighed, adding "And this is why we eat so much fish at my house. Calm down, Hercules."
"I will not!" Hercules growled, startling Iolaus, who had never heard Hercules growl before. "And I'm never, ever eating rabbit stew again!" he added vehemently, clutching the rabbit so hard it squirmed in protest even as Herc's lower lip trembled and a fat tear rolled down one cheek.
"What?" Iolaus demanded, "Herc, you just can't not eat something ever again because...well, because..." He trailed off, as more tears followed the first.
"Don't bet on it, Iolaus," Iphy sighed, rolling his eyes skyward. "You do like fish, don't you? You better, you'll be eating a lot of it," he predicted, frowning slightly. He was used to dealing with Hercules' 'moods', but something kept tugging at his leg, distracting him from his baby brother. He glanced irritably down, and his jaw dropped.
"Oh, no," he groaned, rubbing his forehead in a gesture Hercules would later pick up.
Iolaus, distracted from Hercules' tears, followed Iphy's gaze and froze, gaping.
A cute little baby bunny peered up at them, its forepaws braced on Iphy's shin, like a puppy wanting attention. But that wasn't the oddest thing about the bunny. No, the oddest thing was the tiny, bright blue jacket it was wearing.
Hercules looked down, too. "Peter!" he chirped happily, scooping up the little bunny while somehow juggling the large rabbit. Tears rapidly drying, Hercules cuddled the little bunny under his chin, while squishing it against the larger rabbit, who didn't seem to mind this a bit. The big rabbit even put one paw protectively around the smaller one.
"Why is it wearing a coat?" Iolaus asked, not quite believing his eyes.
"He was cold," Hercules answered.
Iolaus managed to reply. "Herc, rabbits don't get cold, they have fur to keep them warm," he explained, a dreadful suspicion forming in his mind.
"They're not dolls, Hercules," Iphy chimed in, sighing as he confirmed Iolaus' suspicion, "You can't go around making them little clothes."
"Peter was cold. He told me so, so I made him a jacket to keep him warm," Hercules said defensively.
"He told you-?!" Iolaus caught himself gaping again, and snapped his mouth shut.
"Oh yeah, you didn't know that? Hercules talks to the animals," Iphy was rubbing his forehead again. Sliding down the tree trunk, he added, "And the trees, and the ponds, and the streams."
"Not all of them," Hercules protested, "Just the ones with people in them."
"People? Inside trees?" Iolaus blinked. "Does he mean dryads?" he asked Iphy, who shrugged in reply.
"Who knows?" Iphy answered, "The trees aren't talking to me." He sounded a little miffed about that.
"They do so, you just don't hear them," Hercules said.
Iphy rolled his eyes skywards and groaned, "It's him, Iolaus. Weird things have been happening around here ever since he came along."
Iolaus blinked at Hercules, who smiled back. "You mean you can really hear the bunnies talk? And the trees? You're not just...."He faltered, not wanting to use the word 'lying'. Truth to tell, Hercules had talked to trees and one or two of the village dogs in the past while with Iolaus, but Iolaus had thought he was only playing 'make-believe'. "Guessing?" he finished lamely.
Hercules nodded earnestly. "Can't you? Iolie, the bunnies are my friends, just like you. Please don't eat them," he pleaded.
"Cool!" Iolaus breathed, awed. He looked at his friend, cuddling the two serenely trusting rabbits. Three pairs of equally guileless eyes looked back at him.
Hercules could be such a baby sometimes. Iolaus knew what it was like not to have enough to eat, and he knew rabbits made good stew. Sooner or later, Hercules would have to deal with the fact that people ate rabbits. One day, he would have to learn that, sometimes, you had to hurt other things; that sometimes you had to kill to survive. Warriors knew that, and Iolaus had learned that lesson from his father. If he and Herc were going to grow up to be famous warriors, then Hercules would have to learn that, too, someday.
But not today�
Sighing, Iolaus decided that Herc could go on being a baby for a little while longer. It was kinda nice, in a way.
"It's okay, Herc," he said, re-sheathing his knife, "I won't hurt them."
"Thank you, Iolie!" Hercules cried, somehow wrapping his friend into a fierce hug, the bunnies squished between them, "I knew you wouldn't do it! I love you!"
"Yeah, yeah, love you too!" Iolaus gasped, reminded once again just how strong his pal was, "Leggo, Herc!"
Releasing his friend, Hercules dropped into a sitting position on the ground. The large rabbit sprawled contentedly across his lap as he still held the smaller one cradled against his shoulder.
"Want to meet some more of my friends?" he offered, reaching under a nearby bush to pull out another small bunny. "This is Flopsy," he introduced her, holding her out to Iolaus, who gingerly took the little rabbit, "And this is Mopsy," Hercules added, indicating the bunny trying to join the large rabbit in his lap, "And that's Cottontail." Iolaus blinked as yet another bunny hopped onto his foot and sat there, peering curiously up at him.
"Oh! And that's Benjamin, Peter's cousin, "Hercules said, pointing out a little gray bunny peeking shyly out from under a bush. It, too, seemed to be wearing a tiny jacket.
"Did he make clothes for every animal in the forest?" Iolaus wondered dazedly. Aloud, he answered simply, "Oh."
Iphy sighed, resigned to the odd turn of events; another symptom of life with Hercules was you learned to take things as they came. "Who's the big one, Hercules?" he asked, shrugging helplessly at Iolaus' sharp look.
Hercules smiled. "Thumper!" he announced, "Don't you remember him, Iphy? He used to come eat Momma's cabbage and broccoli last spring."
"Oh, yeah," Iphy peered peevishly at the fat, contented rabbit. "How come he stopped coming? As long as he was eating that stuff, we didn't have to."
Iolaus giggled, finally finding something in common with Iphicles. After all, who wouldn't be happy not to have to eat green stuff? Iolaus didn't like 'veggies' much, unless they were in stew. Glancing down at Hercules happily petting his 'friends', the blonde decided firmly not to think of stew for the rest of the day.
Hercules said sadly, "Mr. Emer's dog chased him and now he won't come to the house."
Shrugging to himself, Iolaus joined the brothers. Mopsy promptly clamored into his lap, settling there to nibble on his fingertips, making the blonde boy giggle softly. Carefully, he stroked the bunny's head with his other hand, somehow surprised at how soft the fur between those long ears was.
Hercules sighed happily, snuggling up against Iolaus to croon, "Bunnies are cuddly, aren't they, Iolie? Just like you!"
"Yeah, Iolie," Iphy snickered.
Iolaus tossed an annoyed look in the older boy's direction, and gaped, eyes widening. Two tiny, bright yellow birds were perched on Iphy's shoulders, and each was tugging determinedly at a strand of Iphy's long reddish hair.
Tweety, Woodstock, behave!" Hercules fussed, sounding remarkably like Alcmene, "I'm sure if you ask Iphy, he'll let you have some nice, soft hair for your nests, won't you, Iphy?"
Iphy gave a long-suffering sighed, rolling his eyes skywards, and ran a hand through his hair, offering the loose strands in his palm to the birds, who happily accepted, hopping onto his wrist to pluck them up in their beaks before soaring off with their prizes.
Iphy tossed an amused glance at Iolaus and Hercules, chuckling, "Now you've got me..." He trailed off staring over Hercules' shoulder, then said softly, "Uh, guys, we've got company."
Hercules twisted, then grinned, chirping, "Bambi!"
The stag stepped carefully around the sitting boys, head tilting as it took in Iphy and Iolaus with great, soft, dark eyes. It made no sound at all, yet Hercules proceeded to act as though they were carrying on a conversation- and perhaps they were.
"That's my big brother, Iphy," he said, pointing to Iphicles, who sat frozen, heart beating rapidly. This stag was huge, with an impressive rack of antlers adoring its head. All the stories Iphy had ever heard of hunters being gored by cornered stags were flashing through his brain. From the stricken look on Iolaus' face, he was remembering a few stories of his own.
"Uh, Herc, should we be this close to that thing?" Iolaus whispered, watching 'Bambi' intently.
Hercules giggled. "Bambi won't hurt anybody, Iolie!" he protested, reaching up to 'pet' the stag, who pushed his head gently forward, ears flicking as Hercules scratched a spot between them, "And this is Iolaus, my very bestest friend in the whole, wide world!" Hercules announced.
Bambi raised his head, regarded Iolaus for a moment, and then leaned forward.
"That tickles!" Iolaus giggled as the stag licked his cheek. A moment later, the tiny yellow birds returned, this time to each claim one of Iolaus' golden curls.
The little hunting party returned to Alcmene's farm by sundown, without a single rabbit, but with several bunches of wild grapes carefully tucked into Iolaus' shirt. Alcmene had dinner already waiting.
It was fish.
That summer, in the woods outside the village of Thebes, were to be found birds' nests adorned with long, auburn strands of hair, interwoven with flashes of purest gold.
It was to be many years before Iolaus took Hercules hunting again.
The end
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