"I had to get you outta that temple somehow, and you know how stubborn you can be when Ares is in the picture," Iolaus growled in frustration. He had been arguing, explaining, and protesting for the better part of an hour and getting nowhere. He was seriously considering whining as his next option.

"You could have just said 'Herc, let's go outside and talk'," Hercules snapped, never breaking stride.

Iolaus skipped frantically to keep up. It was really getting to be a pain trying to do all this talking without getting out of breath and maintain this half-run at the same time. He kept throwing Herc quick, desperate little looks, hoping the demigod would pick up on them and slow down already. The fact that he was steadfastly ignoring the looks, the skipping, and Iolaus' panting told the hunter louder than any words just how truly ticked off Herc was this time. Ticked off enough to play the demigod card.

Hercules hardly ever made a point of his enhanced abilities, and when he did it was usually in fun. Now he was using his more-than-mortal speed and endurance to run the increasingly flustered Iolaus halfway across Greece. Not that Hercules was running, mind you; oh, no, he was walking and Iolaus was doing all the running just to try to keep up.

"He was in a good mood, but you know Ares' good moods can disappear at the drop of a dagger," Iolaus tried again. "I didn't want us to outstay our welcome." Iolaus considered that last statement as the vision of himself cracking the God of War over the head with Xena's sword flashed through his mind and added under his breath, "So to speak."

Hercules stopped dead in his tracks and Iolaus ran full tilt into his backside with enough force to bounce off and fall backwards onto the path. Hands on hips, the demigod glared down on him with a dark enough expression to remind the hunter that his friend's father wasn't called 'The Thunderer' for nothing.

'Geez, if he could throw those bolts I'd be toast right now,' Iolaus thought, wide-eyed. What awful sin had he committed to make Herc turn on him like this?

"So you pretended to be HURT?! Iolaus, how could you?!" Herc demanded as pain flashed deep in his eyes.

'Ok, ask a silly question,' Iolaus thought, wincing. That had been playing dirty and he had known it at the time and been regretting it ever since. Damnit, he had known that would scare Herc, so why had he done it?

That was a question Iolaus couldn't answer, so he tried an innocent smile and a shrug instead. It didn't wash.

"NOT funny, 'buddy'," Herc snarled, "Not funny at all!" He scooped the smaller man up under the arms and lifted him as easily as a baby. Instead of putting him on his feet, the demigod dangled Iolaus in mid-air.

Iolaus winced again, not from pain but from embarrassment. This was worse than the walk/run-Herc was upping the ante in their argument.

"Well?" Hercules demanded, eye-to-eye with the suspended hunter.

Should he go for in-your-face back or try to salvage what he could of this chariot wreck with humor? Iolaus decided to give humor another try.

"If you want me to kiss you, you've got to get me closer, Big Boy," he purred playfully, batting his lashes for all he was worth.

A strange look abruptly washed over Herc's face as he searched Iolaus' eyes earnestly.

"What's with all the flirting?" he asked softly, almost timidly.

Iolaus blinked, shocked. This was new. Herc suddenly wasn't angry anymore, just confused and a little scared. Gods, could Herc be taking the flirting seriously?

He tried giving Herc his most radiant smile. "Just teasing my favorite demigod," he confessed.

Herc bit his lower lip, the strange look still firmly in place. "Just teasing?"

"Yep," Iolaus confirmed firmly.

"So, what you did in the temple..."

"I'm sorry I pretended to be hurt, Herc. Really,"

"Not just that. The other?"

'Whoa, now we get to it,' the hunter thought as distant warning bells went off. He tried to think back- the truth was, the impact with the wall had knocked him a little silly, just not nearly as much as he had pretended. It had all seemed like a good idea at the time, but what, exactly, had he done?

Iolaus reached out to stroke Herc's collarbone with a fingertip, not an easy task when you're being held up in mid-air. "This?" he inquired.

Herc blushed, but shook his head.

Iolaus sniffed loudly. " 'Smells like oranges'?" he quoted, raising one eyebrow and receiving another 'no'.

Iolaus frowned, puzzled, and then he shrugged.

"After," Hercules prompted.

Iolaus thought, hard, and came up with nothing. He shrugged again, letting Herc see his confusion.

Herc groaned softly and blushed furiously. "You, ah,...you..."

"I?" Iolaus asked, curious now.

Herc winced, squinching his eyes up in his you-can't-see-me-I'm-not-here way. "Tastes?" he offered in a tiny whisper.

"Tastes?" Iolaus echoed, totally mystified.

Herc nodded, searching his friend's eyes again. Iolaus thought harder.

"Oh! Oh. Oh-oh."

Hercules looked vastly relieved. "That."

"Ah, about that, Big Guy..." the hunter trailed off.

Hercules waited expectantly. When there was nothing further, he couldn't stand it. "Iolaus, you...you...'

"I know," Iolaus confessed, blushing himself and wishing Herc would just put him down. Herc did just that, without warning, and Iolaus stumbled as he regained his balance. When he looked up, it was to find that Herc had moved several feet away.

The silliness of the situation suddenly struck and Iolaus started to giggle. Unable to resist, snickering, he stalked Hercules with a predatory gleam in his eye. Hercules backed up, slowly.

Iolaus stopped and smiled seductively. "Come here, Herckie," he called in a sing-song voice, making 'come-hither' gestures with his hands.

Herc swallowed- "no", he gulped, nervously. Iolaus was abruptly reminded of virgin brides, the few he had known. Not a one of them had looked half as nerve-wracked as Hercules did at this moment.

'If I keep this up, he's liable to pass out on me,' Iolaus thought in alarm. Time to put Herc out of his misery." That was just teasing, too. Just something to make you nervous enough to want to get out of that temple fast. Not one of my brighter ideas. Sorry," the hunter confessed in his best I'm-guilty-and-I-know-it voice.

Hercules frankly didn't look like he believed him.

"You KISSED me!" he blurted, blushing again.

"Herc..."

"On the chest! You kissed me on the chest! You licked!" Hercules crossed his arms across his chest as though to protect it from further assaults. He was visibly trembling now.

Oh boy, Herc was taking the flirting seriously. The last time the poor guy had been this un-nerved was when, as a teen, Iolaus had once playfully demonstrated his kissing technique to Jason by planting a big, sloppy, wet one on Herc. Poor Herc had been jumpy around him for weeks afterwards and Iolaus had never dared do that again.

"Herc, I went over the line there. I'm sorry. It really was just a prank." 'He won't talk to me for a week,' Iolaus predicted silently, waiting for the blast that would proceed the cold shoulder. Well, a little groveling never hurt anybody, and Xena would never know.

An even stranger look flitted across Herc's features and was gone in an instant.

Disappointment?! Had Herc looked disappointed?

Before Iolaus could even begin to consider the implications of that, the air between them filled with pink and gold light, as a musical voice demanded, "Who trashed my temple?!"

Aphrodite, clad in yet another pink transparent outfit that revealed every voluptuous curve, stood between them with her arms crossed as she tapped her toe impatiently. Receiving no answer, she glanced first at the flustered hunter, then at the scowling demigod. She grinned.

"Hey, Big Bro, you do that scowly-scary face really well! Almost as good as Ares!" She tried her best to imitate the frown and failed miserably. Instead of looking dangerous, she looked...

"Cute!" Iolaus had to admit out loud. "Dite's frown promptly dissolved into sunny laughter and Iolaus simply couldn't help giggling with her.

Hercules didn't. "Dite noticed.

"Sweetcheeks, what's up with Herckie?" she asked.

Iolaus sobered instantly. "He's angry at me," the hunter confessed, glancing quickly at Herc, whose frown deepened.

"I'm very angry at both of you," Hercules announced importantly.

'Dite totally ignored him, concentrating on her 'Sweetcheeks'. "Why?" she asked.

"I did something stupid," Iolaus admitted ruefully, glancing at Herc again to check if he was catching this.

"What?' the Goddess of Love asked.

"Never mind what he did, why did you do what you did? What were you thinking?" Hercules demanded.

"I'd rather not say," Iolaus answered 'Dite sheepishly.

"Well, when did you do it?" 'Dite quizzed, continuing to ignore Herc.

"Never mind, 'Dite, Iolaus and I can work this out between ourselves," Hercules said a little desperately.

"In your temple," Iolaus admitted, blushing a tiny bit.

'Dite tilted her head and grimaced. "Herckie's mad about that groady scroll? Didn't you tell him it was for Gabrielle?"

"That was for Gabrielle?!" Herc asked, throwing Iolaus an embarrassed glance.

"Got poor Cupid all excited for nothing," 'Dite continued blithely.

"Why didn't you just tell me the scroll was for Gabrielle?" Hercules demanded.

"Why would Cupid get all excited?" a puzzled Iolaus asked 'Dite at the same instant.

"Well, you never think of him, Curly..."

"Iolaus, why didn't you tell me the scroll was for Gabrielle?' Hercules repeated, louder.

"And when you did that night in that temple..." the Goddess went on.

"Was there some reason you couldn't tell me about the scroll being for Gabby?" Herc persisted in a desperate tone.

Iolaus' head was swiveling back and forth as he tried to follow the two separate lines of conversation.

"Well, poor Cupid thought you two had finally..."

"APRODITE! I'M TALKING!" Herc shouted, changing tactics.

"Sheesh, Bro!" 'Dite fussed, jumping. She wagged a finger in Herc's face. "There's no need to yell. Cup just feels he owes you one for Pysche."

"He doesn't owe me anything! Just tell Cupid to stay away from me!" Hercules snapped.

"Herckie!" 'Dite gasped, shocked.

"Hercules?" Iolaus echoed, bewildered.

Herc dragged a shaking hand through his bangs and groaned softly.

"I'm sorry," he said apologetically while looking entreatingly into 'Dite's eyes. "I didn't mean to shout and I certainly don't want Cupid to stay away." He tried a shaky grin. "After all, he's the only one who thinks I'm 'almost cool'."

"I think you're pretty cool, Big Guy," Iolaus protested mildly, earning a startled but affectionate glance from his friend.

Iolaus studied the two beings in front of him. There was something going on here, some silent exchange between brother and sister that he wasn't privy to. It was Iolaus' turn to be a little unnerved. Usually he could read Herc like a scroll, and a large-print one at that, but something had been off for the last couple of days. Herc had been cranky, touchy, and distracted. Now he could add secretive and jumpy to the list. None of it seemed to bode well.

Iolaus had never thought of himself as Herc's 'favorite', but he was all too aware that others did and sometimes that seemed to embarrass Hercules. It wasn't really as though Herc invited Iolaus to travel with him-well, he had, sometimes, at first, but then Iolaus had simply started inviting himself and Herc had just seemed grateful for his company so now they were at the point where it was just accepted that they were partners who traveled together, back-to-back heroes, best friends forever. Weren't they? Or was Hercules trying to work up the nerve to dump him?

'No,' Iolaus scolded himself firmly. "Stop being paranoid. You know better than that. Hercules would never do that. So if that's not what's going on, then what is? What's up with those two? Cupid. It's got something to do with Cupid and that temple and me playing goofy for Ares...' The hunter froze, senses reeling, as a possible explanation for Herc's odd behavior snapped into place with a solid mental 'click!'

No. It simply wasn't possible. They had known each other for almost their entire lives, fought with each other as often as side-by-side against others, bathed together, faced death together, shared the same bed too many times to count...surely if...if...well, it would have come up before now, wouldn't it? Surely a few temple pictures and a kiss on the chest done in fun wouldn't be enough to put those kinds of notions in Herc's head. After all, it wasn't as if Herc could have been picking up on any signals he, himself, was putting out. Iolaus frowned, distracted by something dancing in the back of his mind. He tried to catch it, but it was quick and elusive, skipping just out of his reach. What? Damnit, what was he trying to remember?

"'Dite, it wasn't the scroll so much," Hercules was confessing to his sister with a little-boy grin. "It's...something else. I appreciate your interest and concern, but Iolaus and I can deal with this between ourselves, ok, Sis?"

'Dite looked helplessly back. She so wanted to help her bro and Curly, but they both seemed determined to refuse her aid. She just couldn't understand why.

"Ok, Bro, if that's how you want to play this," she assured him gently, though it went against her every instinct.

Hercules visibly relaxed. "Thanks," he replied, smiling.

"So, if you won't tell me why you're mad at Sweetcheeks, can you at least tell me who wrecked my temple?" She asked, dimpling prettily and batting her lashes.

Herc blushed guiltily. "Hmmm, Ares and I did fighting?" he ventured timidly.

"Fighting?!" 'Dite exclaimed, managing to look upset as she stamped her foot. "You weren't supposed to fight! You were supposed to be nice to each other!"

That got Iolaus' wandering attention. "Ares wasn't being nice, 'Dite. Your brother was choking�well, your other brother. Herc." he informed the Goddess loyally. "Boy, and I thought my family reunions were harsh," he added under his breath as an after-thought. It was almost funny when you thought of it that way.

"So Ares started it?" 'Dite demanded. "He lied to me! He promised! Oh, I will so get him for this!" She looked furious. A lovely, sunny furious, but still furious.

'Ooops, guess Herc wasn't the only one to inherit Zeus' temper,' Iolaus thought, impressed.

Herc had to confess, "Weeelll, Ares did say he just wanted to wrestle..."

"So YOU started it? Herckie!" she exclaimed.

"I think it just sort of started itself," Herc tried to explain.

Wait. Temper. Anger. Ares. The elusive memory danced into the forefront of Iolaus' mind.

"Hands offa my Hercules!" Iolaus blurted as the realization of just what he had said to Ares sunk in for the first time.

Two sets of blue eyes instantly zeroed in on him, one pair dancing in delight, the other wide with surprise.

"Excuse?!" a startled Hercules demanded. Had Iolaus just called him 'his' Hercules?

Oh, Gods, he'd said that out loud. Bad enough to have said it at all, but to repeat it in front of Herc...

"Ummm...aaahhh," 'Oh, that's intelligent, Iolaus', "You see..." He looked at Herc and time froze.

Herc had that strange expression again, eager, hopeful, and scared-out-of-his-wits. Oh, no.

"Just something stupid I said to Ares," Iolaus mumbled quickly, looking away just fast enough to miss the disappointment that flashed across the faces of both brother and sister.

'DRAT!' 'Dite thought, glancing from her brother to Curly and back. 'Drat, drat, drat,drat,drat!' That had been sooo close she could taste it. The pot she had been watching for so very long had been about to come to a boil when Curly had gone and snatched it right off the fire.

Watching the shutters slam shut in Herc's eyes, she made a snap decision. Like it or not, they were getting her help.

'Uh-uh, boys, you're not getting away with it this time,' she thought firmly. All they needed was a little alone time and the right atmosphere and she knew where they could get plenty of both.

"You trashed it, you clean it!" she announced to the startled pair, making a quick gesture.

"Hmmffft!" Hercules expelled, as he was dropped on his back and Iolaus landed on his stomach.

"Oops, sorry," Iolaus mumbled, blinking at his surroundings.

Great, they were back in the temple at North Fork, right smack dab in the middle of the mess they had left behind. Toppled flower arrangements had soaked the scattered woven rugs and the floor was strewn with shattered oil bottles, wilted flowers, and bruised fruit. The table that had stood by the altar was now in pieces, shattered by its impact with Ares' back and the quilted wall hanging lay in a crumpled heap. Yep, he could see why 'Dite might be a bit upset.

Iolaus looked down. A rather befuddled Hercules looked up, fanned hair helpfully soaking up a large puddle of oil. At least his hands weren't in the slop. No, his hands were resting, nice and dry, on Iolaus' thighs, which were currently wrapped around Herc's waist, which explained why Iolaus was sitting on Herc's...

The blonde hunter let out a startled squawk as he realized just what he was sitting on. He scrambled off blindly, hands and knees slipping in oil, and fell heavily on his back.

Hercules tried to sit up to help, but the hand he had braced on the oily floor slid just as he turned to Iolaus and the demigod ended up on top of the hunter. They stared at each other, nose-to-nose.

"Um, hi, Iolaus. You ok?" Herc asked shyly.

"Yes," Iolaus squeaked.

Carefully bracing a hand on the floor again, Herc levered himself up a couple of inches and looked around.

"Oh, we're back at the Flower Festival," he said brightly.

"Uh-uh," Iolaus confirmed, wishing Herc would get off already. Herc wasn't the lightest soul on the planet. He poked the demigod's ribs lightly.

Herc looked down, puzzled. "Oh," he said, and shifted, moving slowly and carefully.

Great. Now Herc was straddling his hips. Herc braced his hand again, pushed up, and his knees slipped.

"Awwkk!"

Hercules looked down. The blonde hunter's eyes were crossed.

"Sorry, did that hurt?" the demigod apologized.

Iolaus nodded, biting his lower lip. "A little," he whimpered.

Herc shifted very carefully down until he was sitting on Iolaus' thighs. Then he looked towards the temple ceiling.

" 'Dite? Where are you? What's up?" Hercules called, totally oblivious to his friend's wince at his choice of words.

Aphrodite appeared next to them, floating a few inches off the floor to keep her dainty sandals out of the slop. She couldn't help grinning at their positions. Iolaus smiled weakly and gave her a little wave.

One hand on her hip, she waggled the index finger of the other in her brother's face as she announced, "You heard me. You trashed this place, so you get to clean it up. If you start now you should finish before dark."

"Iolaus had nothing to do with this!" Herc protested loyally.

"Sweetcheeks didn't help you clean it up, either," she answered.

"This isn't fair. Ares was the one who was fighting with me, so he should be the one...What am I saying?!" Hercules blinked and shook his head. "This is ridiculous. None of this would have happened to begin with if you hadn't sicced Ares on me!"

"I'll take care of Ares, you take care of my temple!"

"Clean your own temple, 'Dite," he replied firmly. Slipping and sliding, Herc finally, to Iolaus' immense relief, managed to regain his feet and make it to the door. Which absolutely refused to budge, no matter how much he shoved, tugged, or cursed.

'Dite giggled. "Oh, no, you don't," she announced playfully. "You two don't go anywhere until this place is cleaned up. Have some respect for other people's personal spaces, Bro."

Hercules shot her a disbelieving glare.

"In the first place, this is not your 'personal space', 'Dite, it's one of your temples..."

"This one's special, Herckie, and you know it!"

"In the second place, I didn't 'trash' it on purpose. This happened because Ares has some damned weird ideas as to what constitutes 'friendly'....

"You still could have tidied it up before you left," the Goddess objected.

"In the third place, you could fix this yourself in a heartbeat..."

"But that wouldn't teach you a lesson."

'And in the fourth place..."

"How are we supposed to get oil off the floor without some hot soapy water and a mop?" Iolaus asked practically from his safe seat on the floor. The hunter knew an excellent diversion when he saw one, and he was grabbing this one with both hands.

"Iolaus!" Hercules exclaimed, exasperated.

The hunter shrugged in response. "What can it hurt? And the place does look pretty bad, Big Guy."

'Dite dimpled happily. She waved her hand and a large bucket of soapy water, complete with mop, appeared by the door. Next to it was a large basket and a broom. "For the trash," she explained.

" 'Dite..." Hercules intoned darkly.

"Be back later!" 'Dite chirped, vanishing.

Hercules glared across the temple at the seated hunter, who raised both hands in an exaggerated shrug.

"Goddesses-can't live with 'em, can't run the world without 'em?" Iolaus offered with a lop-sided grin.

Herc snorted, grabbed the basket, and started scooping up debris. Watching his slip 'n slide progress around the temple, Iolaus sighed, threw dignity to the wind, and crawled over to the bucket. Walking on his knees, he proceeded to attack the oil slick masquerading as a floor with a vengeance, involuntarily wincing every time the temple shook from one of Herc's falls.

They made pretty good time of it, Hercules grumbling all the while about Aphrodite's 'pulling rank' as his big sister. Iolaus, no stranger to the Big Sister Gambit himself, could sympathize even while he was internally grinning.

Finally, all that was left to do was re-hang the wall hanging. Herc eyed the Iolaus-skull-sized dent in the plaster thoughtfully as Iolaus turned to lift the quilt off the flower-holder where Herc had draped it. Reaching out, Herc gently touched the back of Iolaus' head.

"Owtch! Watch it, Herc!" the hunter protested, batting his friend's hand away.

"So, you were hurt," Herc said softly.

Iolaus ducked his head. "A little," he acknowledged, then lifted his head and glared mock-fiercely. "So, Tree-tall, you gonna help or not?"

"Well, that is better," Hercules had to admit moments later. They were sweaty, oily, and tired, but the temple was neat once more. Not quite as neat as it was before, but it was still a cozy little temple.

"All clean, Sis," Hercules addressed the ceiling, sounding more like his usual, easy-going self. He even chuckled a little as he brushed at a particularly large oil-stain on his shirt.

"Good going, Guys!" 'Dite chirped, popping into existence in the midst of a swirl of hearts. "Now for your reward!"

"NO!" Herc exclaimed hastily, not wanting to think what she might consider a suitable 'reward'.

Too late.

Herc squawked hitting a note that Iolaus would have bet good dinars was totally out of Herc's range. But then, he had very good reason to be surprised. After all, it isn't everyday you suddenly find yourself buck naked and hip-deep in hot water.

Iolaus smiled reassuringly at his best friend, who was absolutely guaranteed to notice, given that Iolaus was sitting in his lap. Again. Truth was, Iolaus was starting to get used to finding himself there.

Herc had other ideas. Responding with a reproachful glance, he shoved Iolaus off his thighs. Well, he had a point. The tub wasn't that small.

"Now, now, be nice, Big Bro," 'Dite fussed, hands on her hips.

" 'Dite, what is this?" Herc demanded, starting to stand, remembering where he was and what he wasn't currently wearing, and dropping back with an embarrassed blush and a large splash. Iolaus made his own outraged squawk and splashed right back.

"This is what you want, Bro," 'Dite explained, twirling a curl while favoring Iolaus with an appreciative smile.

"Excuse?!"

"Hot bath, good dinner, nice nap," 'Dite elaborated innocently. "This is the bath." She gestured carelessly over her should and a dish-laden table appeared, along with a large number of candles which cast a gentle, romantic light over the surroundings. "There's the dinner," she announced, then pointed at the altar, "And there's where you take the nap!"

" 'Dite, we can find our own bath and dinner," Herc replied in a tight voice, trying his level best to remember that she meant no harm.

She dimpled fondly at her brother. "No need," she assured him, "you were going to ask if you could spend the night here earlier anyway, Herckie, so here you are! Enjoy!"

Iolaus wondered at the guilty wince Herc made then. Cleaned up, the little temple reminded him of Alcmene's cottage. He could easily understand why Herc would prefer it to another night in the woods. He decided to let Herc know that he understood.

"Cool! Thanks, 'Dite!" Iolaus exclaimed, standing up on purpose and blowing her a kiss. She caught it, dimpling and giggling, as Herc choked and yanked him back into the water.

"Have fun, boys!" 'Dite gushed. "Don't do anything Cupid wouldn't do!" She vanished in a swirl of glitter.

Iolaus giggled and nudged Herc fondly. "Sheesh, Herc, is there anything Cupid wouldn't do?" He asked mischievously. Getting no answer, he brushed his wet bangs out of his eyes and took a good look at his partner, who was surveying the temple with a carefully blank expression.

"Herc, you ok? Something wrong?"

"Iolaus, where are our clothes?" Herc asked carefully.

Oh. Iolaus looked around. Not hanging on anything, not folded on the altar or a table...he peeked over the edge of the tub to the floor. Nope, not there, either. Turning to Herc, he shrugged silently. Herc lifted an eyebrow. Iolaus frowned slightly, then shrugged again.

"We've slept in the nude before, Herc," he pointed out.

"Not together in the same bed," Herc shot back.

Iolaus looked down at the water and back up wordlessly. Herc shifted a little, uncomfortably, then shook his head stubbornly. "Bathing isn't sleeping," he insisted.

"It isn't eating, either, and I'm hungry," Iolaus replied. "Let's get this oil off and eat already." He grabbed a floating sponge from among the scented soapsuds and scooted over to Herc.

"Do my back and I'll do yours," he offered, handing over the sponge. Herc sighed and took it. Lifting Iolaus' hair with one hand, he sponged the back of his neck with the other.

"What I don't get is what's really going on here, Iolaus," he said quietly, lifting the hunter's right arm to scrub beneath.

"She's just being nice," Iolaus replied, lifting his left arm out of the way. Herc scrubbed, then tugged the arm down and scrubbed it as well. Nudging Iolaus around, he distractedly scrubbed his friend's chest, thoughts elsewhere.

"Even 'Dite's not this nice. She's a goddess, not an innkeeper." Hercules looked into his partner's eyes, his own puzzled. "There's something she wants here and she thinks she can get it by doing all this," Herc gestured with the sponge at the temple, frowned slightly, and pressed his fingertips against the back of Iolaus' neck to get him to tilt his head forward so that the demigod could wash behind his ears.

Face about two inches from Herc's chest and sorely tempted to repeat his earlier, questionable maneuver, Iolaus experienced an epiphany.

He knew exactly why Aphrodite was so insistent that they spend the night here, in her temple, safe from interruptions and prying mortal eyes.

That�that...little matchmaker! 'Oh, no, you don't, 'Dite. When are you guys gonna learn we don't play by your rules?' Iolaus thought, fuming. It wasn't Herc's fault, of course, but Iolaus wasn't about to let a busybody goddess turn his life upside down for her own amusement.

Iolaus glanced around the temple interior, didn't see anything unusual, and belatedly realized that's about what he could expect to see if his suspicions were correct. Darnit. Herc was the one with the second sight.

"Herc, you don't happen to see Cupid around anywhere, do you?" he asked casually. Herc looked up from where he was scrubbing the hunter's shoulder.

"Why would Cupid be here?" he replied with a small frown, then raised the sponge to gently clean around Iolaus' earring. Iolaus' eyes fluttered closed. Mmmm, he just loved it when somebody touched his pierced earlobe. Something about the piercing made that one more sensitive than the other. He scooted a little closer so Herc wouldn't have to reach so far.

"All done. My turn," Herc murmured, breath warm against Iolaus' ear. The hunter opened his eyes to find that his cheek was resting lightly on Herc's shoulder. Ooops, he hadn't meant to get that close.

Herc didn't seem to notice. Handing over the sponge, he raised his arms, rested his hands on Iolaus' shoulders, and kept on pondering the current mystery. "What could she want?" he muttered, perplexed.

Iolaus scrubbed the broad chest in front of him and fought hard not to smirk. Herc was a real sweetheart, a true hero, and the best friend he would ever have, but there were times when the demigod could be a dense as a brick. This was definitely one of those times.

Iolaus had an idea. A nasty, wicked idea. No. He should not do this, but....Ohh, this was just tooo good to pass up!

The hunter had a wide playful streak in his personality and it was asserting itself. 'OK, 'Dite, you want a show, we'll give you show,' he thought wickedly. 'Time to play 'Tease the Goddess' " He would have to step carefully, though, so Herc wouldn't catch on.

Taking his sweet time, Iolaus oh-so-carefully-and-thoroughly sponged Herc's upper torso, the distracted demigod not seeming to even realize the process was taking at least twice the time it normally would. Having finished Herc's front, Iolaus nudged him around. Herc turned, folded his arms along the tub rim, and rested his chin on his fist while Iolaus scrubbed his neck and shoulders.

Iolaus frowned. There were bruises on Herc's back and shoulders, small ones to be sure, but bruises all the same. It took a lot of force to bruise Herc; usually only getting caught in a rockfall or a collapsing building would produce bruises like these. Looking down, Iolaus could see another, larger bruise below Herc's waistline, at the small of his back. Ouch.

"Hey, what caused these?" he asked, gently tracing around one of the smaller bruises with the sponge. Herc sighed.

"Ares, playing," he admitted sheepishly.

"Sheesh, he did this 'playing'?" Iolaus asked, puzzled.

"I guess he plays rough," Herc told him.

"No kidding. How'd that start, anyway? I can't imagine you volunteering to wrestle him."

Herc shook his head and half-turned to his friend. "He snuck up on me! I fell asleep on the altar and next thing I know he's giving me a backrub. I told him to quit that and he starts wrestling and tossing me around and wouldn't stop!" The bewildered outrage was plain in the demigod's voice.

"Whoa. Back up. Ares gave you a backrub?"

Herc smiled sheepishly. "He said he was trying to be friendly."

"I'll just bet he was!" Iolaus snarled, startling both himself and the demigod.

"Iolaus?" Herc asked, wondering why the hunter suddenly looked so upset.

Iolaus closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. Why was he so royally ticked off all of a sudden? Who was he angry at -Herc? None of this was Herc's fault; the poor guy was the victim here. No, it was Ares. How dare Ares...wait. How was giving Herc a backrub as bad as choking him? Oh, no, now he had it. Those stories folks told about the Gods and their inter-family relationships; the stories that made Herc so very uncomfortable and that Herc refused to believe. Iolaus had never believed them either; after all, he knew many of the Gods involved and people did so love a good scandal. So why had Ares giving his brother a backrub made Iolaus assume...? 'Iolaus, what the hell is getting into you?' the hunter wondered. 'Get over it!' He opened his eyes and smiled at Hercules.

"Nothing, Herc. Turn back around so I can finish your back."

"You sure you're ok?" Herc asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Move," Iolaus patted his friend's shoulder gently and Herc resumed leaning on the tub rim. Iolaus carefully sponged his shoulders and that was nice. Then it got nicer, as Iolaus started using his hands instead.

"Iolaus?" Herc asked quietly.

"Not a proper backrub, but will this do?" Iolaus asked, rubbing very gently around the bruises.

Herc smiled, accepting the backrub as the peace gesture it was meant to be.

"Lower?" he requested, and made a soft, contented sound deep in his throat when Iolaus complied, carefully avoiding the large bruise.

Iolaus smiled, resting his chin on Herc's shoulder as he continued rubbing Herc's lower back. This was better. After a few moments he yawned and Herc echoed the yawn. They had both had a long day, and this hot water was making them drowsy. Reluctantly, Iolaus pulled away.

"Damn, the towels are way over there," he muttered.

No comment from Hercules. Smiling, Iolaus nudged his partner very gently and was rewarded with an unmistakable snore.

Iolaus giggled. Trust Herc to have the exact opposite response as he did to a backrub! He thought of giving the demigod a friendly slap on the rump to wake him, but remembered the bruise and thought better of it. Still giggling, he gently poked Herc in the ribs.

"Wha...?" the demigod slurred, blinking over his shoulder.

"Don't drown while I go and get the towels," Iolaus instructed, standing and stepping over the tub wall.

He had just finished drying and was tucking the towel around his waist when the center of the temple filled with twin flashes of light, one pink, the other blue.

"Cupid's here," Herc announced fuzzily, still half-asleep.

"So I see," Iolaus said casually, walking past the God and Goddess of Love with a friendly nod and the other towel.

Herc reached for the towel, but Iolaus pulled it back with a small frown. "Hair. We forgot to do your hair, Herc."

Hercules reached back and touched his matted, oily hair with a grimace of distaste. Iolaus draped the towel over the tub edge, grabbed the sponge, and squeezed Herc's shoulder gently. The demigod obediently dunked his head in the water and Iolaus scrubbed the matted mess with the sponge.

"Dunk again," he instructed and Herc did. Iolaus reached down and scrubbed briefly with his fingertips before letting Herc back up.

Yawning, Hercules reached back to wring out his hair. Iolaus held up the towel, shielding his shy partner with his own body until Herc was properly draped. All the while, the hunter was watching the mother and son pair out of the corner of his eye.

'Dite was practically radiating frustrated disappointment and Iolaus could barely suppress his smirk. He suspected the very last thing she had expected to find was Herc snoozing in the tub and himself halfway across the temple. Cupid, on the other hand, seemed vastly amused.

"Sooo, you two having a good time?" 'Dite asked with just a hint of hopeful desperation.

"Fine. Where are our clothes?" Herc asked, fluffing out his wet hair with one hand as Iolaus made a beeline for the food.

"My temple in Athens, Herckie. You and Sweetcheeks got your clothes all nasty and I'm lousy at laundry, it's just not my gig, y'know?" The Goddess giggled and continued, "But I've got a priestess there who's a real whiz at that sort of thing. She used to be a washerwoman. She'll have your stuff as good as new come morning."

"You've got a priestess who used to be a washerwoman?" Iolaus asked around a chunk of cheese. He offered Herc a small bowl of cheese and grapes.

"Most of the washerwomen I've met don't look much like your average priestess," he explained, describing a shapely silhouette with his hands.

"Dite shrugged and smiled. "Different folks like different types. She's got a really sweet heart and a great personality to boot. She's my most popular priestess."

Cupid chuckled. "She's a red herring, Mom," he observed slyly.

"Clothes, 'Dite," Hercules persisted.

"You don't need them for sleeping, Herckie," 'Dite objected.

Iolaus shrugged an apology "He doesn't like sleeping as Nature intended," he explained.

"If Nature intended, then Dad never would have invented clothes to begin with," Herc grouched, shaking his head.

"Hey! Watch it, Herc, you're spraying!" Iolaus complained, dipping into the bowl again.

Herc reached for a chunk of cheese and found the bowl empty. Iolaus flashed a sheepish grin and padded back for a refill.

'Dite frowned, obviously losing track of the conversation.

"Clothes," Herc reminded her, shivering a little.

"Still damp, Uncle?" Cupid asked, handing him another towel, which the demigod gratefully accepted, rubbing his chest briskly. Cupid made a small gesture and the temperature in the temple went up ten degrees.

"Sweetcheeks, don't you want to help Herckie?" 'Dite urged, eyes brightening as Iolaus returned.

Iolaus shrugged and smiled sweetly. "Sure. Clothes, please?"

'Dite rolled her eyes in frustration as Iolaus silently snickered. 'So that's the sound a Goddess makes when she grinds her teeth,' he thought wickedly.

Cupid chuckled again.

"Sure thing, Uncle Iolaus," Cupid said amiably and two silken garments fluttered down over the hunter, who snatched them out of mid-air.

"Thanks!" Iolaus flashed the winged god a quick smile, then, did a double-take. "Uncle Iolaus?" he echoed, mystified. "When did I become 'Uncle Iolaus'?"

"You like?" Cupid asked, indicating the garments and brushing aside the 'Uncle' question.

Iolaus squinted at the strange garment in his hand. "I like the cute little smiling faces," he admitted. "What do you call these things?"

"Boxers," Herc informed him, pulling his pair on under the towel still wrapped around his waist. "They're very comfortable, but I could do without the little hearts." He neatly folded his towels and draped them over the tub edge.

Iolaus eyed Herc appreciatively. "They look good on you, Big Guy." 'Real good,' he added silently as he tugged his own on. Oh, yeah, these things were silk alright. Explained the drape. Herc twitched off Iolaus' towel, folded it, and turned to hang it on the tub, giving the hunter a very good view of the drape in action. Nice.

"You owe me, Mom," Cupid whispered, nudging her with his elbow.

"Not yet, night's young," she whispered back, watching Iolaus watch Herc.

"Oh, Sweetcheeks, I forgot to leave you these," she called playfully, holding up two little velvet bags.

Oh, damn, the wristbands. He couldn't give them to Herc now. Under these circumstances even Herc might get the wrong idea, and Herc was looking distinctly curious. Iolaus decided it was Attention Diverting Time again.

"Not to be indelicate, but is there a nature station in the temple?" Iolaus asked, looking suddenly very intent.

"Excuse me?" 'Dite replied, obviously perplexed by the question.

"Nature's calling. Really loud," he explained.

'Dite still looked befuddled.

"Ah, what Iolaus means is..." Herc started, but the hunter interrupted him.

"Drain. Chamberpot. Hole in the wall. Anything. Work with me here," Iolaus pleaded, shifting from foot to foot.

Hercules had gone from looking distinctly curious to decidedly uncomfortable. Demigods had to answer to nature too, or at least this one did, and it had been several hours since he had given the matter any thought. He began casting about the temple as well.

Cupid smiled sympathetically at their distress. The God of Love had spent most of his relatively young life earth-bound by choice, favoring the company of mortals and satyrs over Gods, which gave him a much better understanding of certain matters than most of the Gods.

"There you go, guys," He said kindly. With a flick of his hand the far front corner was suddenly shielded from view by two tall standing screens decorated with scenes of courting couples in pastoral settings.

"It's not the baths in Athens, but it should do the night," the winged god offered with a shrug.

"But they just had a bath," Aphrodite objected in a puzzled tone.

"You explain it, Big Guy," Iolaus said quickly, squeezing between the gods and plucking the bags out of the distracted 'Dite's fingers as he passed. "After all, she's your sister," he called over his shoulder while beating a hasty retreat towards the screens.

He had expected a chamberpot on the floor. He got one in a chair. Whoa. This was the deluxe model. What had Orestes called this thing? Oh, yeah, a toilet. Weird. Well, might as well take advantage while he tried to figure out a safe spot to stash Herc's bracelets.

Dimly, from the other end of the temple, he heard Herc ask, "So, what are you two doing here, anyway?"

"It's Cupid's birthday," 'Dite pointed out brightly. "I bring him here every year on his birthday."

"Every year," Cupid echoed with mock dismay.

Iolaus was on his knees, giggling softly as he tucked the pouches between the wall and the base of the wash-stand (another deluxe accommodation) when�

"I know what you're doing, Uncle Iolaus," Cupid said softly in his ear.

Iolaus jerked, but just managed to stop himself from head-butting the young god.

Damn Herc's sneaky relatives! One minute he's enjoying a quiet bit of 'private time' and the next there's a half-naked God breathing down his neck, soft, ticklish wings spread and tipped to brush his shoulders and sides.

It was a bit like suddenly finding yourself under a brooding hen.

Iolaus flashed a slightly strained smile over his shoulder, meeting Cupid's knowing one. "Just putting these away in a safe place?" he offered hopefully.

Cupid shook his head slowly, hands resting lightly on the mortal's shoulders.

"Not those. You know what I mean. Stringing Mom along like this."

Iolaus wet suddenly dry lips with the tip of his tongue and swallowed. Still smiling, Cupid leaned forward, lifted one hand from the hunter's shoulder, and handed him a bottle of watered wine.

Iolaus gratefully accepted the bottle and took a healthy swig, mind racing. Besides worrying about Cupid's response to the game he had been playing with Aphrodite, the hunter was finding that being this close to Herc's nephew was unnerving in all the worst ways.

"It's not me," Cupid objected quietly. "It's the same thing you feel around him. You're just projecting."

"No."

"Yes," Cupid insisted gently. "You're just used to ignoring it. Look, I agree that it's really none of Mom's business. That's more the Big Sister than the Love Goddess showing. I guess when you combine the two you get a real busybody. I'll get her out of here."

"There's no hurry," Iolaus replied quickly.

Cupid sighed. "And Mom thinks Uncle Herc is stubborn," he muttered. He gave the mortal's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"We'll leave anyway, but consider this: What if she's right?" Then he was gone, leaving behind the bottle.

So was Aphrodite when Iolaus at last emerged from behind the screen, clutching the empty wine bottle behind his back.

"Where?" he asked.

"Macadamia," Herc replied, ducking quickly behind the screens without further explanation.

When Herc reappeared he found Iolaus cross-legged on the altar, a large platter of food in his lap and a wine bottle resting against his thigh. A second filled platter sat next to him. Herc lifted the tray and sat in the vacant spot, long legs swinging off the altar's side. They munched in companionable silence, sharing the wine.

"Good cheese," Herc observed.

"Huh-huh," Iolaus agreed, mouth full.

Herc silently offered his platter, empty except for a couple of cheese chunks. Iolaus accepted them, popped one in his mouth and, smiling, brushed the other against Herc's lower lip.

"Open, open," he sing-songed, making the demigod smile. Still smiling, Herc took the cheese between his teeth, using the tip of his tongue to turn it around and around, savoring the texture before finally nibbling on it delicately.

Iolaus blinked, remembered about breathing, and drew a long, ragged breath into oxygen-starved lungs.

Hercules was still smiling playfully, apparently willing to repeat the 'cheese trick'.

'What if she's right?'

'What's with all the flirting?'

Was Herc playing or flirting? Was there any difference?

'It's what you feel around him.'

The delicate touch at his earring; Herc's fingertips against the back of his neck; the soft, contented sound Herc had made when Iolaus rubbed his back. The everyday casual contact that Iolaus had come to take for granted and that Hercules seemed to crave.

'You kissed me!'

Bearhugs. Snuggles. Drool in his hair, Herc's breath in his ear first thing in the morning. Stroking Herc's hair because he knew that Herc liked it, Herc stroking his.

Would it be so awful if Aphrodite were right?

Yes. No. Yes. Maybe. Gods...

'Hands offa my Herc!'

'My Herc.'

Hercules had heard that, and he hadn't objected. Gods....

"Iolaus?" Herc asked, concerned at his partner's distraction.

'What if she's right?'

'This is what you want, Bro.'

'Cupid thought you two had finally...'

"Iolaus!" Herc exclaimed, snapping his fingers in Iolaus' ear.

Iolaus blinked up at him, looking dazed.

"Dinar for your thoughts," Herc teased, then grinned, as Iolaus pinked. Huh-huh. He had thought so. Still grinning, he stacked Iolaus' platter on top of his, hopped off the altar, and headed for the food table, wondering what her name was. Some girl his partner had met at the Flower Festival, no doubt.

Behind him, Iolaus finished off the wine in a couple of gulps, upending the bottle for any stray drops. Herc caught the movement out of the corner of his eye and snagged another bottle to bring back Wait a minute. There were already two bottles on the table. Hadn't there only been two bottles to start with? He picked up the third bottle and found it empty. Strange, why would 'Dite have left an empty bottle? Herc shrugged and dismissed it. Anyway, back to the altar. They would share a little wine, talk about the Festival, he would apologize for being such a jerk earlier, and they would go to sleep, all warm and cozy.

This would be nice. To tell the truth, this had been one of the best nights Hercules could remember in a while. He usually didn't get a bath, a bed, and Iolaus all at once. 'Dite had been right- on some level he had wanted this, just a little down time with his favorite person in the world. A nice, quiet, uneventful evening with Iolaus.

Herc handed over the wine, unfolded the quilt, fluffed the pillows, and stretched out on the alter to watch Iolaus unstopper the bottle.

Iolaus took a healthy swig, then another, handed over the bottle and hopped off, heading for the 'nature station'. Herc smiled. Iolaus had drunk more than his share of the bottle during dinner.

Herc recognized the velvet bags Iolaus was carrying when he reappeared. He had noticed their abrupt disappearance earlier with some amusement. Gifts for the new girlfriend. He wondered what she was getting.

"These are for you," Iolaus said quietly, laying the bags on Herc's stomach. Retrieving the bottle, he climbed onto the foot of the altar and watched Herc expectantly.

"For me?" Herc questioned, sitting up curiously.

Iolaus smiled a little sheepishly. "I'm sorry about teasing you about those frescos. You know, the ones I copied for Gabby's friend, the ones that..."

"I remember them,' Herc interrupted, smiling sheepishly back. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Iolaus."

The hunter frowned. "You didn't yell at me. You barely said anything at all, you just got all blushy and flustered."

"Oh," Herc said, blushing again. He could have sworn he had yelled. He looked up and met Iolaus' eyes.

"I'm sorry about giving you such a hard time after you saved me from Ares. Thank you," he told his friend.

"And I'm sorry I pretended to be really hurt," Iolaus replied earnestly. "Now open your gifts."

Herc shook out the bags on the cushion between them.

"They're beautiful," he said, admiring one of the matching silver wristbands.

"The stones match your eyes," Iolaus observed slowly, as though noticing for the first time. Smiling, he took the wristband from Herc and slipped it onto his left wrist. Before he could pick up the other, Herc startled him by slipping it onto the hunter's wrist.

"You could wear one," Herc suggested shyly. "To show that we're sword-brothers." His eyes flickered up to meet his partner's. "Your gauntlets are too plain anyway."

Sword-brothers? As teens they had both rejected the term 'sword-brother' and its implications for the more accurate 'partner'. Why had he said 'sword-brothers'?

"Um, partners, I mean," Herc mumbled, embarrassed by the slip.

Iolaus giggled and reached over to gently tug his ear. "Why don't we get you an earring, instead?" he suggested playfully.

Herc pulled back slightly, shaking his head. "No piercing," he objected, taking the wine bottle from the hunter and finding it empty. Where had all the wine gone?

'Where' giggled and crawled into his lap to tug at his earlobe again.

'He's sloshed,' Herc thought affectionately. Iolaus always got playful when he was sloshed.

"I think you'd look cool with an earring or two, Herc. Works for Ares."

"Next you'll want me to start wearing black leathers," Herc grumbled fondly, tucking Iolaus' hair behind his ears.

Iolaus pretended to consider it and smirked. "It's a look." He scanned down Herc's chest, forefinger tracing the path of his eyes. "A really, really hot look," he murmured.

"I'm never leaving you alone in a temple with Ares," Herc chuckled, pushing Iolaus off his lap. "Let's get some sleep, you sot.'

"Hmmm? Nahh, not yet. Gotta tell you somethin', " Iolaus blinked fuzzily and tried to crawl back onto Herc's thighs. No go, Herc just pushed him off again.

"Tell you what, Iolaus. Why don't you lay down and I'll give you a backrub?" Herc offered, pushing the hunter gently down.

Iolaus brightened.

"That's a great idea!" he exclaimed, happily flopping onto his stomach.

Chuckling, Herc knelt next to the prone hunter and began to gently rub his shoulders.

"Ooohhh, that's nice, Herc," Iolaus sighed, relaxing under his partner's touch. Oh, yeah, this was going to work out just fine.

Herc's hands moved down, kneading the lower back muscles.

Iolaus sighed deeply. "Sooo nice, " he purred.

"Hmm-hmm," Herc answered, smiling fondly. He was rather enjoying this himself. "You wanted to tell me something?"

"Hmmmm? Yeah..."

Hercules waited. And waited. And waited.

Chuckling, he leaned forward and whispered in his friend's ear, "Let's go to sleep, ok?"

"Mmk." Iolaus turned onto his side and Herc lowered himself next to his partner. Iolaus promptly snuggled back against the demigod's chest.

"Iolaus?" Herc murmured.

"Cuddle," Iolaus urged, drawing Herc's arms around him and tucking Herc's left hand up under his chin. Herc snuggled closer, nestling his cheek against Iolaus' neck.

"Ok?" he asked softly.

Iolaus giggled, pulled Herc's hand from under his chin, gently pried it open, and kissed the palm. Then he folded the fingers closed, kissing each one, before tucking it back under his chin.

Hercules chuckled and kissed the back of Iolaus' neck lightly. "Go to sleep, silly," he murmured, eyes closing as he breathed in his friend's scent.

"Herc?"

"Mmm?"

"Love you."

"Me, too."

Iolaus giggled. "You love you too?" he mumbled.

"I love you, silly."

Iolaus sighed happily. "That's nice."

"Sure is," Herc agreed dreamily.

"Sooo nice," Iolaus sighed.

"Shush. Sleep."

"Herc?"

"What?"

"We're sleeping together," Iolaus observed sagely, then giggled.

Herc sighed. "Sometime tonight?"

Iolaus abruptly turned over in Herc's arms and slid his own around the demigod's back, nestling his cheek against Herc's shoulder with a tiny yawn.

Herc cupped one hand very loosely around the back of his partner's head, his cheek in Iolaus' curls.

"Better?" he asked. Iolaus snored softly in his ear and Herc smiled fondly. As his lids slid shut Herc murmured, "I really do love you, silly."

Some time later Aphrodite and Cupid stood at the foot of the altar, arguing quietly.

"I won," Cupid claimed.

'Dite shook her head stubbornly, smiling.

"But they didn't, Mom." Cupid protested.

"They declared their love for each other," 'Dite pointed out happily. "Herckie did it *twice*!"

"But they didn't even kiss!"

"Yes, they did!' 'Dite insisted. "I never said it had to be on the lips."

Still..."

"And they are sleeping together," 'Dite giggled.

Cupid crossed his arms, rolled his eyes, and regarded him mother fondly.

"Alright, you win," he said, smiling.

She giggled, smiling down at the sleeping pair. "Not yet, but maybe next time," she corrected hopefully.

.

The End

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