I was really surprised when someone at lunch the other day said , "Frank
you have a really big nose." While this would be an insult perhaps in the
US, in Japan it is a compliment. Japanese people are embarrassed about
their small noses. They think that they have no nose at all. While its
not
true for all Japanese, many of them have a nose bridge that dips down
almost
even to their face. I think its beautiful, but maybe its just a case
wanting what the other person has. I have teased some of my Japanese
friends and told them that the reason their noses are so small (in the
negative sense) is that they are always poking themselves in the nose.
This
is true. When an American refers to him or herself with a pointing
gesture
, they point to their chest, about the heart region. However a Japanese
person points to and sometimes pushes right to the nose area. I didn`t
know
what to think the first time I saw someone I was talking to start pointing
to their nose. I thought it was some kind of strange game which was
completely out of context to what we were talking about. Now I like it.
Its
fun. I keep hoping that maybe my big nose will shrink a little if I keep
on
pushing it.
Another thing, you must not point your finger at another person. While
this is also rude in the US, its like a criminal offense here. Its
terrible
because I do it all the time and I`m not even aware of it. It is ok to
point with your entire open hand. This looks funny to me, like you should
be saying, "Right this way Sir". I embarrassed my Japanese coworker the
other day because when I asked her if that was her husband over there,
she
pointed at him and said, "Yes that`s him". Teasingly ,I quickly
admonished
her and told her that in Japan you must never point. She flushed and then
joked back that it was ok to point at him because he was her husband.
Other gestures are different in Japan as well. One interesting one is the
way people count. Count to 10 using your fingers right now. If you are
like me, you made a fist with your right hand and then opened your fingers
one by one starting with the index finger, the middle finger, the ring
finger, the little finger and then the thumb. Then you go to the left
hand.
A Japanese person does it differently. They start with the hand open
and
start folding in the fingers one by one. First the thumb,index, middle,
ring, and pinky. They end up with 2 fists. We start out with 2 fists.
Also if a Japanese person wants to show you a spefic number say, "7", they
would hold up the left hand open and place 2 fingers on the palm. This
works
great for 6,7,8, and 9 . As an American I would hold up 7 fingers in
front
.
Sometimes a Japanese person will make a negative gesture by crossing both
forearms in a big X in front of them. There is no mistaking what this
should mean. But it looks very extreme and strong to me like they are
about
to defend themselves. However its not meant to be a physical threat, its
just a normal way to say no. Another way that people say no is by putting
their hand right in front of their chin area ( fingers pointing away from
them and palm perpendicluar to the floor) and then waving that hand back
and
forth quickly , as if they were fanning someone who happened to have their
head right there. If you're getting the idea that a lot of people are
saying
"no" to me , well that might be right. What can I say, its not as easy as
I
thought it would be here. But I wont give up. In a future letter I will
report more ways that Japanese people say no.
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