| AT&T |
| The one thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does to most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this : Me : Hello. AT&T : Hello, this is AT&T... Me : Is this AT&T? AT&T : Yes this is AT&T... Me : This is AT&T? AT&T : Yes this is AT&T... Me : Is this AT&T? AT&T : YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron please? Me : May I ask who is calling? AT&T : This is AT&T. Me : OK, hold on. At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my suprise, when I picked up the reciever, they were still waiting. Me : Hello? AT&T : Is this Mr.Byron? Me : May I ask who is calling? AT&T : This is AT&T... Me : Is this AT&T? AT&T : Yes this is AT&T... Me : This is AT&T? AT&T : Yes, is this Mr.Byron? Me : Yes, is this AT&T? AT&T : Yes sir. Me : The phone company? AT&T : Yes sir. Me : I thought you said this was AT&T. AT&T : Yes sir, we are a phone company. Me : I already have a phone. AT&T : We arn't selling phones today Mr.Byron. Me : Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling. When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer then by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent. AT&T : Mr.Byron, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now I'm sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could cleary see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do alittle chiphering. Me : Now that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day? AT&T : (getting alittle excited at this point by my intrest) Yes sir, that's right! 24 hours a day! Me : 7 days a week? AT&T : That's right. Me : 365 days a year? AT&T : Yes sir. Me : Well I am definitely interested in that! Wow! That's amazing! AT&T : We think so! Me : That's quite a sum of money! AT&T : Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up. Me : OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send me an annual check, can I get a cash advance? AT&T : Excuse me? Me : You know, the 10 cents a minute. AT&T : What are you talking about? Me : You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week, and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment. AT&T : Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute. Me : Wait a minute here! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T? AT&T : Well yes this is AT&T sir but... Me : But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketer scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me. AT&T : No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for... Me : THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to your supervisor please! AT&T : Sir I don't think that is necessary. Me : Sure! You say that now! What happens later? AT&T : What? Me : I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T : Yes Mr.Byron. Please hold on. So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for the supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food : Supervisor : Mr.Byron? Me : Yeth? Supervisor : I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program. Me : Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? Supervisor : Yes sir it sure is. I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to supress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort. Me: No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan. Supervisor : OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you. Me : Thank you. I was on hold once again and was gettingreally hungry. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone : AT&T : Hello Mr.Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan? Me : Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother... AT&T :<click>... |
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