Are You An Anti-Raver?
by: the farmer

"Anti-raver" is the term used to describe a person who realizes how truly flawed the so-called "scene" is. Anti-ravers realize that these poor misguided kids don't know shit about the music, but they can tell you the current price of a pill. Anti-ravers also understand that plur (peace.love.unity.respect) as both a philosophy and a lifestyle is unattainable by most human beings. It's human nature to have some prejudice, whether anyone will admit to it or not. When was the last time a *raver* went and helped the homeless or the less fortunate instead of buying drugs and gathering with their fellow "ravers" at some shitty club? When was the last time a *raver* did community service projects instead of going shopping for new xxl pants? Yes, ravers, as You look at your wardrobe full of big-ass pants and you look at your turntables that you can't use (but you still call yourself a DJ), think about this... If you were truly "plur" you would donate these to other people who have nothing. When you go to buy your drugs (and you pay more than some people make in a month) don't you ever ask yourself why you don't get them for free? If your dealer loved you, he would give them To you out of the kindness of his/her heart. However, "ravers,"are sad victims of capitalism, commercialism and peer pressure. There's lots of people that love ravers, simply because they help support their drug campaign. "anti-ravers" realize this, and they neither do drugs nor preach plur. "anti-ravers" can not be seen at any "rave", they'd rather get together with 2 or 3 friends and combined, they will know more about electronic music than all "ravers" put together. "Anti-ravers" do not try and look like freaks, and they certainly don't do "name-dropping" like most ravers. "Anti-ravers" understand that DJ�s are over-hyped, the kids are too young and the music is mediocre at best. Why, you may ask, do "Anti-ravers" act this way? Mostly it's because they're old enough to buy liquor and they don't feel a need to try and proclaim their individuality through external appearances. Also, some "Anti-ravers" have traveled and experienced events in other countries and come to the conclusion that baggy pants and a handful of pills is mostly a U.S. phenomenon. Yes ravers, you should know that people from other countries consider the entire population of America to be a bunch of retards when it comes to electronic music. "Ravers" only help further this negative image. Just think, glowsticks were popular in the U.K. In 1992! Ever wonder why European music sounds so good compared to American music? The European�s have their priorities straight and have already completed their "raver" days. Sure, there are a few remaining ravers in the U.K., But most have realized the error of their ways and moved on to other things or else they're going through drug rehab. As most of you "ravers" pack up and move out of the electronic music scene when it's no longer "cool", I wish you good riddance and hope the next fad you decide to pursue turns out well for you. In the meantime, while you "ravers" still exist, just know that drug lords and record company executives are laughing all the way to the bank at your expense. If anyone desires to send me hate mail regarding my anti-raver views, go ahead. Just keep in mind that your "plur" views would prohibit you from doing this, if you actually practiced what you preached.

Raver Love

... when you compare clothes, when you trade clothes, when you try to make each other look phresher.. when you wake up next to him, and he's just as dirty and tired as you are, but you have to wake him up so you can go to another party THAT night.. ..raver love is kissing on the floor next to the dj, dancing together in the smoke, when he comforts you when you're E'd out and he's not.. when he could be dancing but he stays.. raver love is when he's all K'd out and you want to get up but you stay with him and hold on to him and find him some sugar so he feels alright.. raver love is sharing drugs,sharing jungle mixtapes, sharing everything. .. raver love is when you see him from a block away and you know it's him because of his pants and the way he walks, and you run all the way up to him almost tripping over your pants and collapse into his arms like you haven't seen him in 10 years.. ..raver love is him telling you he wont be at the party this saturday, you pretending to be mad and going along with it and then acting surprised when he shows up.. acting like you don't care.. caring too much.. raver love is not feeling the same at a party when he's not there..reaching for him in the middle of the night.. crying for him when you know he's not coming back.. ..raver love is the dj playing the song that reminds you of him the night he's at the party with someone else.. raver love is writing long letters about all the fun times you had, trying to get him back.. getting him back, and everything just seems alright..raver love is borrowing his favorite hat and never giving it back..having 3 pairs of his socks on your floor..smoking on the rooftop in your underware.. almost falling off, and him flicking his cigarette butts at you.. raver love is watching him sleep,and thinking he is maybe even better than DannyTheWildchild.. him giving you his mixtape, and you listening to it every day for 3 straight weeks..telling everyone about him and making everyone you know listen to it.. raver love is dreaming of your future, being old and just partying more and having more money and freedom.. dreaming of him being a famous DJ.. raver love is arguing about party spots..agreeing on good quality parties.. having a long discussion about the underground, him finally finishing and you saying, "exactly.." raver love is him making fun of you.. you pretending to be pissed so he'll chase after you and say he was joking, even though you already knew that he was.. raver love is hanging out downtown detroit, losing your ride home, and him being calm and telling you you'd find them.. raver love is him being right.. raver love is wanting to be like him.. wanting to hug him all the time.. wishing he could be nearby forever.. raver love is being worried about all the cute ravers out there.. him telling you to chill out...raver love is....when you go through his record bag, sticking hello kitty stickers on the labels of his favorite records... when he spends the night and you 2 run over to the park at 12:00AM to tag up the brick wall with your new spraypaint..your town is the kind where graffitti is unheard of, and they tear down the wall within a week..raver love is you liking something of his and him saying "you can have it if you want.." raver love is paging him to say "i love you" ..him paging back with "1432" and you getting butterflies in your stomach.. raver love is him saying you're going to turn into a big tree because you smoke too much, and then him bringing over a big sack...raver love is laughing together, agreeing on everything.. being pissed together.. raver love is you being the only one that he tells secrets to.. being the one he calls at 4:00 in the morning because he's tripping and he needs to talk to someone.. hearing your pager and waking up,..being so tired but calling him anyways because you love to hear his voice.. raver love is crying in front of him and him telling you to stop because you'll make him cry.. raver love is getting closer, growing apart, and getting closer again in a span of 24 hours.. raver love is being sad together,.. being sad by yourself. missing him.

Raver Judgement Day

As the Christians of the earth, we believe in the final judgment of mankind, so do I believe in the Judgment Day of the underground. I believe there will come a day when each and every raver of the earth shall face their judgment. Before entering the Golden Gates of Euphoria, each and every raver shall fall to their knees in fear and awe of the uniting Force that is Music. And the music will ask... My child did you know me? Or did you mockingly just recite my lyrics? And the music will ask... My child did you dance? Or were you still as if heavy stones were in your shoes...thus not grooving? And the music will ask... My child were you faithful? Or were you easily swayed into the mainstream river of sin? And the Music will ask... My Child did you support your DJ's whom I sent to show you the way? Or did you berate their playing with an unclean tongue? And the music will ask... My child did your heart pound to my beat? Or was it slowed by the hate that taints the scene? And the music will ask... My child did you use the drugs to uplift me? Or did you abuse them to the point where you were motionless, thus further polluting the scene? And lastly my child did you love your family as if by blood? Or did you drown in the drama and cause hurt to your scene? And the raver shall answer all of the above honestly for the music knows the truth. And if the answers are the good of the two the golden gates will open and the eyes will be delighted at the sight of an enormous city with not walls made of stone but towering speakers larger than mountains encrusted with Gold and rubies and emeralds, and pounding with a number of watts unthinkable to man. And the dance floors are so inviting as they are made of pearl and call to your feet, and the sound is Crystal clear as it never stops. This party never ends as it's attendants never grow tired, and their thirsts are quenched by a cold sparkling river who's water runs free and untainted, and the glowsticks never die as the night sky is always dark with thousands of silver stars and no sun will rise to cancel it in all it's glory. And the DJ's all wear halos as they bring the music which brings the vibe that fills each raver with peace and love and respect for one another, for those are the elements that make this party eternal. And all those who fall short of the glory of the music will be sentenced to the world where the music will no longer be heard and the people will no longer dance.