99/April – GC3 Monument
Males and Tom,
The bull was calling me. The hydraulic pistons and shiny leather
were very enticing, so when Chris asked me if I would ride, there
was no doubt in my mind. Eight seconds was all I had to last, and
that's what I did. Wait a second, that was my Vegas wedding vacation
at Gilley's. This is about six guys and a hole.
Another trip of unexpected adventure:
THURSDAY:
6:30AM? Are we crazy? That's an hour away from Coronado.
What's Tom doing here? "Big" surprise.
He still has a CA driver's license.
Three authorized drivers, one bully.
Did Paul slash that tire going the wrong way over
the Coronado bridge?
We don't have time for safety, let's get there.
What should we do in Barstow? Porno!
We might be able to find the hole with GPSIII+ AND the laptop.
I wouldn't attempt the Boucher trail in one day, but I actually
have never done it, let me get someone that knows more.
I wouldn't attempt the Boucher trail in one day, but I actually
have never done it, let me get someone that knows more.
I wouldn't attempt the Boucher trail in one day, but I actually
have never done it. Good luck.
Do you boys want to do the 15 mile Boucher death march? No?
OK, then its settled, we'll do it.
The hell with that Coooors Light give me Callahans But Brown Ale.
We Cook Pasta and we eat pasta and buy stupid little souvenirs
for women and children.
I'm glad I brought my ear plugs.
FRIDAY:
5:15Am? Yikes.
Bruce Babbit Smabbit.
Cold, damp, rainy, sleety, snowy, windy. Just how we like to
start and epic.
Lift 'em.
Time to go down. Down down down.
Up down up down up down. This is supposed to be flat!
If warm, jacket off.
If hail, rain, and wind, jacket on.
Repeat ten times.
Time to go down, again.
Careful Tom don't slip. Damn, you made me jab this
Adobe/Aragua/Agfa cactus. Ouch!
10 miles in and at least 5 of our 12 knees are blown out.
These packs are too damn heavy.
Quote of the trip; "We aren't going to make it"
Maybe it's the weight of that stupid Suunto Wrist Mainframe.
We'll make it AND you'll thank me for this (someday).
Is John having a bowel movement or just climbing up a rock?
Boucher, Booshay, About-Cher, Bucker, Bitcher, whatever.
Ahh. Hermit creek. Now it's just an easy stroll to the river.
Wrong!
Some how, Tom found a way to make it AND be there first.
Sandbagger!
Awesome burritos, fine hand carried wine, Charleze Theron,
and a few feet from the rapids. This is why we do this.
SATURDAY:
10AM? Late start. Easy day. Wrong. Second toughest day.
We could take that shortcut, but we don't want to make Dave angry.
No more sleet. Now its just rain, thunder, and wind.
A lot of guys wouldn't carry a metal rod with that lightning so close.
Tom's hurting again. Other than his hair he's not looking too good.
Monument Creek. Best f#$!ing campsite in this hole.
Let it rain, let it rain. High and dry.
Then there were four. Onward to the rapids.
Bitchin cold water, cleanses the soul.
Spectacular view of the creek canyon and monument, sheltered from
the rain, excellent chicken/rice dish, and a fine chocolate drink.
This is why we do this.
Paul, you just don't get me do you?
Tom, I think that Gerbil is about to enter you.
Gary will practically float out of the canyon now.
Gatorum rules! Light weight energy/buzz drink.
Magnificent trio of snoring. The three tenors.
SUNDAY:
Early start for the easiest 10 miles I've ever done with a pack.
Almost no rain today. Barely touches the ground.
Panoramic views.
Lots of bitchin about knees and feet today.
Gary do you have a spare powerbar?
One something PM and we are at camp. Not a lot of movement.
Who's ready to go to the point?
John: Out
Jeff: Out
Gary: I can always count on Gary. Out.
Paul: He follows me to the bathrooms then: Out.
Tom: Whine, bitch, mock. Repeat 100 times. Out.
Even a mom chick with a lame leg is looking real good to us.
Time to go home.
I'm on my own (woohoo!). 3 miles I'll never forget.
Peace, quiet, and scenic.
A little gatorum, excellent and plentiful pasta, fabulous dessert,
and an all start wrestling babe.
Another musical evening for the whole campground with the three tenors.
MONDAY:
Time for me to sing in the key of F(art).
Lift 'em.
Two stops in 4.5 miles. Barely time to drink water.
Vas ist se TEAM?
Must be some gay hiking club.
Relentless pace. Tom is the machine.
Damn first time hikers asking us questions.
Ranger Rick makes us look like rookies.
Up up up up. 3000'.
Tom lets me take the last 100 yards. Victory is mine.
It's not a race.
2 hours 15 minutes! Crazy. John joins us within a few minutes for
the end of the fastest hiking group I have ever traveled with.
The best Guinness Stout I've ever tasted.
The shower of a lifetime. Why didn't Paul suggest this last year?
Big Mac, fries, and a Coke. What could be better.
Head for Vegas. From nature to the epitome of civilization.
Dead weight dropped off.
TUESDAY:
This is the day of the mechanical bull ride. That is a whole different story
I'll tell you guys about over a beer. Maybe when we plan the next adventure.
I had a great time. Very good Team. Very fast Team. Very helpful Team.
And except for Tom's weak moment on Friday, we had a fun optimistic group.
I loved every minute of it. (now I can say that)
Thanks for everything guys (especially the gear drop off).
What's next? How about a night of Beer, Lies, and
Videotape next week at my house? Tuesday or Wednesday?
djj
p.s. The video came out great!
p.s. I have and extra spatula and I'm short one pair of extremely smelly socks.