97/April – GC1 Rim Cubed

Epic Trip.

A zillion trip planning e-mails.  Let's just do it.
How many trips to REI did Gary make?  TNF!
Good start from San Diego.
Five men.  One van.  What could be better?
How would we get there without that GPS?
65...70...75...80MPH.  Record time.
Where the hell is that BC office?  I'm tired.
Perfect southern belle, but a little wide in the hips.
First ones here.  We're #1!  I mean #14.
Not looking good.  Lets go to Utah.  Screw this Canyon.
Leave today?!?  One hour of sleep?  Lets do it.
Scramble pack.  Call the loved ones/work.
Has Gary ever used a phone card?
Pack'em up.  Lift'em boys.  Sit in a bus.

"Now we have a small problem people.  This bus is scheduled to leave every
odd half hour, but now I'm told to leave every even half hour at 10 minutes
before the hour.  This is actually the wrong bus.  This is a modern
electric bus.  It's powered by electricity.  We'll be on our way shortly.  
I have to radio into mission control to get approval for a three minute
departure.  Sorry for the delay.  The brakes are powered by the electricity
in some new fangled energy thing.  Now where are you all going?  Keep those
packs on the seats for safety.  Get those packs on the floor so we can
overload this bus.  We should be at Yaki by dark if I hurry folks."

11:20 start.  About four hours behind schedule with no sleep.  Excellent.
Its time to go down.
Down down down down.  Stop.   Repeat 100 times.
Love that green mule shit/grass patties smell!
Why is my pack gouging my shoulders.   Fix this damn thing Oliver!
Hydroman is IVing water.
The bridge is the first level ground in 3+ hours!  Ahh.
Lunch and go.  Top off that water.  Power/Cliff/Balance bar it.
Can Dave ever just agree with something or is he just always right?
Only 7 more miles.  Easy miles.  Yeah right.
GPS is not our friend.  The map is not our friend.  The canyon never ends.
Is this insanity/asinine hill...or is this?
Where is Cottonmouth camp?  I'm hallucinating.  I see tents in the desert.
Keep singing blues brothers.  That will ease the pain.  Shotgun blues.
What's another 10 pounds?
Start that chili.  Hmmm good.  Filter that water.  Hmmm good.
I'm sure these bugs will go away with the sun.  Wrong.
Where's the repellent Oliver?
Out like a light for 11 hours.  Did anyone snore?  Gary?
Just stay in the tent.  The bugs will go away soon.
Did Gary mousse his hair?  It looks terrific.
Did Dave use a comb?
Varmints like eating Oliver's nylon and pissing in Tom's pack.
Florida hicks predict.  -17 degrees, rock slides, glaciers, trail closures.  
  Who cares.  We're invincible.
Time to go up up up up up.
World famous canyon dwellers from Dan Rather's files as seen on TV.
Is that a storm approaching?
Who put the rain fly on the tent?
Why didn't we top off our water?  Saved by a dripping swamp.
Up up up up up up.
Good snowball conditions.
Watch your step on those rocks.
Rim squared is reality.  Aside from an act of God or a hellicopter rim cubed
 is assured.  High fives.
Who wants to really complete this trip?  Wuss's versus idiots.
1.5 miles to the North Rim ghost town.  Awesome view.  My highlight of the trip.
Hey babe!  What's nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Can we have a ride in your truck?  Your hips are OK wide.
Gary is a downhill machine.  I want a hernia operation too!
Down down down down crap down down down.  Home.
Soak those feet.  Ahhh.
What's for dinner Tom?  Excellent pasta.  Still not enough.
Gator-rum.  Good stuff.  Is that a buzz I feel, or is it the bugs?
Time to go down.  Lift'em boys.
Lets get the heck away from those bugs.
Oh, the feet ache.  Those calves hurt too.
Side trip to Ribbon Falls.  An Oasis in the desert.
Who wants to go inside that thing?
Phantom Ranch.  Civilization.  I mean commercialization.
Ranger Rick (Dick) condemns us.  We'll rot in hell for taking that Clear
  Creek spot!
It's only an hour away.  Twenty minutes if you hurry.  Yeah right.
Yum. Snickers bar.
Tom and Jeff indulge with ice cubes in a cup.
All but Oliver becomes one with the river.  We are purified.
Man that water is cold.  Soak that head.
Time to go up.  Lift'em boys.
Up up up up stop.  Are we there yet?  Repeat 3 times.
Breathtaking view and its all ours.
Confuse those bats.  Watch for those rats.
Tom, you aren't going to die tomorrow.  Overweight smokers can do this.
This is real backpacking.
Hey mister time to get up.  Up and at'em.  Oliver, get the #&@% up!
Better get that head start now that Gary has lightened his pack.
Time to go down.  Lift'em boys.
Time to lighten the load at the restroom.  Ahh.  That's better.
Time to go up.  Lift'em boys.
Gary is the machine.  Relentless.  But where the heck is Oliver/Tom?
Indian Gardens and still no sign of them.
Up up up up up.  There they are.
Stupid mules.  Get out of our way.  That one really likes me.
Lets stay together as a team.  Not.
Up up up up up up up.
Gary is still the machine.  Relentless.  Please can we stop?
Jeff slows a little.
Gary slows a little.
My ego remains intact, till I find that Tom would have passed me eventually.
All finish within 15 minutes!  Amazing.
We did it.  High fives again.  The triple is complete.
How are we going to find that van.  I know, GPS!  Finally a use for it.
Stuck in traffic out here?!?  Who cares, we are in a car.
Whoa.  Was that a babe or do Tom and I had too much DSB?
Time for a Big Mac!
We must smell horrible, violating health codes everywhere we walk.
Awesome room.  Awesome shower.  Awesome beer.  TV is cool.
Lets see the recap of our trip on the BIG screen.
Time to eat again.  Sammy's on tap.  Perfect.
Hit the road at 6am, home by 1pm.  Can't beat that.
Tom's the driving machine.

One van, 72 hours of adventure, and five real men.  What could be better?
Nothing.  In my opinion.

What's next?

djj