Before completing this semester's work, it seemed appropriate to consider some way that the Congress could end the entire impeachment process with some shred of dignity and satisfaction.
After following the process for the past year, I have no qualms about President Clinton being impeached. By lying at least twice under oath, the president treated the idea of telling the truth in a courtroom setting with the same seriousness as being warned not to go swimming until an hour after eating. By lying twice, he also flaunted the entire American system of justice. Simply stated, he does not deserve to remain in office.
Unfortunately, the Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee have pursued their investigation with all of the political acumen and depth of concentration of a cocaine addict in need of Ritalin.
Although the Republicans have established that the president lied, they have failed to frame the issue to interest the American people. The recent decision to expand the probe of the impeachment inquiry into matters of campaign finance reform gives even more credence to the Democratic charges that the investigation is little more than a directed effort to remove Clinton from office.
While the President deserves trial in the Senate, the Judiciary Committee's handling of the investigation likely will cause some Republican defections once impeachment reaches the House floor. Assuming the initial impeachment attempt fails, an alternative means of punishing Clinton needs to be considered.
First, everybody needs to understand that censure, the current Democratic proposal for punishing the President, amounts to nothing. By definition, a censure is simply a "Sense of Congress" resolution that is little more than a Congressional scolding.
To give an idea of what a Sense of Congress resolution can state and how seriously it is taken, keep in mind that, in the 1970s, the Democratic Congress passed a resolution calling for full national employment. The resolution obviously did nothing in the way of carrying out any action but instead reflected an idealistic notion of what should happen in the world. Splendid.
On a personal level, I censure my dog every time she begs from the table. Unfortunately, because she's a dog that likes the taste of Cheerios over Purina Fit and Trim, she usually resumes the begging activity a few minutes after being scolded.
In the same way, because President Clinton is a terminal liar incapable of restraining himself from grabbing a Big Mac, much less any estrogen-producing organism, he will continue to carry out such behavior well into the future, censure or no censure.
Such a need for actual action against the president brings me to my alternative proposal in lieu of censure — eviction from the White House. Nothing exists in the Constitution mandating that the President must be allowed to reside in the White House during his or her term.
As a government-owned property, Congress has the authority to withhold operational funds for any reason it so desires. As a governmental employee, the president's salary and living expenses are controlled by Congress as well.
Consequently, instead of a censure resolution, Congress could simply order Clinton to leave the White House and find residence somewhere else, at his own expense.
The Secret Service could easily establish a safety perimeter around whatever building he would establish as his new domicile. The White House could still maintain its operations as the President's office and place of entertaining dignitaries and hosting press conferences.
Essentially, the only thing that would occur differently would be that Clinton would not be allowed to ascend the White stairs to the living quarters each night. Instead, the president would have to take his limousine to another location to sleep, eat and make personal telephone calls.
In my own personal utopia, he would have to deal with dual landlords named Mel and Earline. Mel and Earline would not respond well to the presence of Buddy or Socks ("I don't care if you're the President & #8230; the sign says 'No Pets!'").
They would not deal well with attempts to sidestep paying the rent every month. They would also have no problem withholding the deposit if pine needles from a real Christmas tree became embedded in the apartment carpet.
However, I can accept the president living in a house nicer than the White House. I can accept him purchasing a home with a loan from Mr. Cash.
The most important part of this proposal is the fact that Clinton would become the first Chief Executive of the United States to be evicted from government-subsidized housing.
Such an eviction would amount to a humiliation that would not directly impair his performance as president. It would re-emphasize the respect for the basic principles of the American judicial system, reflect the supposed condemnation of the Congress for Clinton's actions, and give American mothers another way to get their children to tell the truth: "Now Billy, I don't want to throw you out into the cold. Did you break Ms. Jackson's window?"
Given Clinton's recent attempts to establish his presidential legacy, the eviction would give Clinton a legacy that could remain with him for decades: being the first president to be forced to buy a plastic Christmas tree from Sears.