2. Scuba gear to retrieve golf balls that have drowned.
3. Long underwear for those frigid moments: downhill skiing (tumbling), Lambeau Field blizzards, or when crazy people think air conditioning means they should reproduce Alaska.
4. Lifetime subscription to "Sports Illustrated."
5. Marshmallows to toss at opposing FOOTBALL players!
6. A remote control that senses when a spectacular play is about to occur...and changes the channel.
7. Ten gallons of salsa and a truckload of tortilla chips to munch in front of the TV.
8. Binoculars to catch a decent view from the cheap seats.
9. Seats on the 50-yard-line for the Humanitarian and Insight.com bowl games (What in the world? Next they'll add the "Toilet Bowl!")
10. The ultimate tailgate party cookbook.
-- December 9, 1997 (Liberty Champion)
