So I guess it's needless to say this was a very uneventful and crappy weekend.
It was my birthday on saturday.
Justin went to see a movie with me on Friday. (thanks again Justin) Afterwards he went to a party that Scott was having and I guess Cory and Chris were already there.
Saturday (my birthday) was a real blast, I was home alone all day and cleaned. I called everyone and left messages, but no one called back. I "thought" I was going to go to this party with Hoy, but he didn't call and went on his own. Chris did call late that night after I spoke with Justin to wish me a happy birthday, (if I'm correct Justin "reminded" him) and "promised" to take me out to dinner sometime. Uh-huh, right.
It was a fun birthday, really. no presents, no cake...but i did have an avacado sandwich for dinner...mmmmm. And in case it's not obvious, I'm bitter.
So I was in bed by 10:30 and I called my Dad. I told him I was really irratated that I was at home alone in bed...on my birthday. Here were his pearls of wisdom:
a) I count on my friends too much.
b) If I'm home alone on my birthday, it's my fault. I need to "make things happen"
c) If I don't like what my "friends" are doing or NOT doing, then I need to make new friends.
d) No matter what I do or who I meet, my "friends" only look out for themselves and if I think any different I'm going to get hurt.
e) I'm going to get hurt no matter what. "That's life"
f) If I have such a problem sitting at home alone when my friends ditch out on me, then I should go out by myself..."to a lounge and after being there a few times alone I'll make friends"
g) I need to make new friends.
huh...ok here are my thoughts on all THAT...Yeah I guess I do count on my "friends" too much. I really don't anymore. I don't know why I was so angry being home alone, it's not like I "expected" anything and it's not like I ever do. THAT'S MY POINT! I remember talking to Christoph once and told him that I don't expect anything from anyone anymore, that's just setting myself up to be hurt. And he said "that's good"..No, that's fucking pathetic! What the hell? What a great way to live! And as far as going out and getting new "friends", what's the point if they are just going to hurt me? no thanks. Going out to a "lounge a few times by myself", OK...Dad, you're old. It's not like that in the world anymore...AT ALL. No, you go out now and if you're not Abercrombe and Fitch, or a big buff male model, or a slut...people want nothing to do with you. THAT'S LIFE! And if you're gay, multiply that by 10. Well I'm none of those things. Again, sorry Dad, the social scene is way different than it was in the 50's for you, but nice try. And Being home alone on my birthday was "my fault". Ok, I'll give him that, however...I don't think I ask or expect too much of my "friends", but maybe just ONCE during the year they can go out of their way. It sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but I think I am allowed once a year. Then again I can ask myself do I "deserve" anything, probably not.
Hmmmm, i think all this might piss off some people, but then again I think Jhames and Hoy are the only people who read this. Oh well...the weekend is over and in the long run it doesn't matter. so fuck it I guess.
11/07/01: "ONE MORE TIME, WITH FEELING!"
Am I the ONLY one who watched "buffy the musical" last night?! OH MY GOD! it was so awful, and bad, and cheesey. I loved every minute of it!
I seriously think Jhames is in a cult...seriously.
So the U2 concert is tonight. I'm so excited, it's been about 4 years since i've seen "the boys". I love them, I really do. I must also figure out a way to get backstage and make Gwen Stefani mine!!!!!!
Gareth said he's taking a break from littledog.org. that makes me sad.
so i got a pic from Justin (who is back from RIO)of us and Rabbit in the moon. i normally don't like pics, but this one deceptivly makes me look thin and buff!! ok, how do you spell vanity?!
10/30/01: "I AM THE JESUS"
Ho hum, just another day.
I saw 13 Ghosts last night good movie.
Spent some time with Hoy and his friends. nice guys.
2 days and hopefully i'll have won my XBox!!
I'm going to play a little game, it'll be fun...but more on this in a couple of weeks.
Martyrs aren't all that bad...are they?
10/25/01: "IT'S MINE!!!"
I can't be bitter, can I? I don't think it's bitterness. I'm just plain ol' confused.
Oh well. Anyway I don't think I'm going to rant on here anymore...
I saw the Michae Jackson Halloween Special last night on MTV. It was soooo bad ass! I don't care what anyone says, I LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON.
The truck is fixed! That's good, right? Well at least I don't have to take the bus anymore.
Justin is in Rio, I hope he's having fun. (Hi Justin!)
Taco Bell is having this little contest and each store is giving away an X-Box. I have a plan. And it will be mine!!
10/23/01: "JELLY BELLY"
I've calmed down, a little.
I went to Winter Park with Hoy and some of his friends this past weekend and had a really good time. The weather was nice and so were Hoy's friends. And it was nice to get away for a few days. Thanks Hoy!
I talked to Jhames yesterday. Apparently he's dong fine in the cult. I just keep telling him to run if they serve him applesauce and/or grape Kool-Aid. We talked about living karma free. Now to me that just sounds like someone asking you to swim across a lake and not make any ripples or waves on your way. But that's just me. And we also talked about hipocracy. We were talking about a mutual friend and I told him I don't say anything because I have no room to talk. Sorta' like me telling someone that smoking is bad for them while I'm lighting up a Marlboro. Best to keep your mouth shut so you don't make an ass out of yourself.
You know when you have a bowl full of jelly beans and you've eaten them all and there's that one gross jelly bean sitting on the bottom of the bowl, you normally would never eat it, but you eat it anyway because all the others are gone? Well, I feel like that jelly bean about right now...I'm going to see a movie with Christoph tonight.
10/15/01: "THE TRUTH"
For those of you who may be reading this (as if), let me first say that I'm not going through what I've went through in the past, this is different.
The Truth is a hard pill to swallow. In fact it sucks. I've been having these little epiphany things, one after another. They are actually more of a series of truths unfolding before me. and they are not coming from me at all. they are being presented to me in many different ways. And hinestly, I don't like 'em. But like I said the Truth is a hard pill to swallow.
Folks, I don't know what to do anymore. And here is my Truth. I'm always asking questions, I'm always looking for something else, something I can hold onto. But it seems that the questions I ask, have no answers. I want meaning in life. And in looking for answers I've never in my life felt so alone. And I think that is a key.
Is there a difference between what we hope and aspire for and what we must accept? Hopes and Asperations are gone. They are futile. Behind the doors of dreams is disappointment. And why is this? We can dream and dream, and we can do all we can to acheive what we desire. But our dreams also depend on others, one cannot build a kingdom alone. We must depend on others, and in others we can NEVER depend. It's a catch 22. Deduction has led me to learn that you can only count on yourself. If that's the case then that leaves us all alone.
More to come....
10/11/01: THIS IS IMPORTANT, I THINK"
Mr. Jhames left this morning for Long Beach. (should I call and warn them?) Needless to say there was a dinner party for him at Chritopher's apartment last night. I had a good time too! At first it was just Jhames, Christopher, Hoy, Christopher's friend Robin who is visiting from NY and myself. we sat around and talked and ate. Lots of laughs were had. (and Robin is very very cool and very sweet)After a while Christopher's sister Megan (bombshell-btw) and her friend came over, more laughs. Finally Nia, Shanti, her posse and the neighbor from downstairs (cutie-btw) and goodimes were had by all. Maybe 'cause there was no obscene drunkenness and no one was falling over themselves.
Alright, this is important:
I had an ephiphany today. Well actually I was schooled a bit today. But it hit me hard, in a good way. More to come...
10/04/01: "THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND..."
Public Transportation: A means of transport for local commuters as a way to save fuel ,reduce stress and save the environment...OR... a never ending network of crazy lunitics moving about our communities to both frighten the normal and reek havoc among the sane. Man, and I thought I was wacky.
I Love my new glasses, they're so sassy!
Anyway, I seriously think I'm pissing people off. I've been blabbing my mouth again about something that's bothering me. It's just that there has been a recent chain of event that has been leaving me totally in the dark. Kids, it happened again last night. That's right. So I had plans to meet an old friend of mine (who will remain nameless) at an old hang out. It was her birthday and SHE invited me to come join in the festivities. She said she'd be there at 5 o'clock. I took the train down there, and was she there? NO! Come to think of it was anyone there? NO! I tried calling, she didn't answer. So yet again I was left standing...ditched. What a fucking chump. I walked to the liquor store where Christoph works (two blocks away) to get some change for the bus, so i could get home. I told him my little story and he agreed that it sucked that she ditched me. (read the last journal entry and define irony)We chatted for a few and then I found a bus stop to try and figure out a route home.
OK, an hour and a half later...I get home. I'm so pissed...no that's not the right word, uh, disappointed I can't even see straight. But I did come home to a plate of spaghetti that my mom sent with my sister. There's nothing better than Mom's cooking to make me feel 100%! Recharged I went grocery shopping with my sister and $139.00 later i think we actually had food for one meal, and the rest was just junk. (mental note: shop for groceries alone from now on) But we do have some food now.
Anyway the moral of my story is this. I may bitch about this new trend, but I realize I'm not perfect either. So if I go off about something like this, ignore me. I love my friends, and even if they do things that hurt my feelings once in a while, I'll get over it. And if there's not a light at the end of the tunnel, mom always has a plate of spaghetti waiting.
Did I mention I LOVE my new glasses?
10/01/01: "OH WELL..."
There's not too much to report today. Let's see, the weekend in review. Hung out with Justin on Friday, smoked some pot and wathced tv,good times were had. Didn't go see Margaret Cho, oh well. Saturday, got a b-day present for my nephew. Tomorrow is his first birthday. I got him a little hippo-piano since he really can't reach to play the real piano at the house. Didn't go see Basement Jaxx, Cory didn't call, oh well. Sunday I hung out with my dad and worked on the truck. Then I went to the mall with Jhames to kill an hour or two because I had plans with Christoph. About a week ago i had made plans with Christoph to go record shopping with him on sunday afternoon, a belated b-day present for him. We ended up not going, Christoph didn't call, oh well. Maybe I'll just get him a gift certificate and he can go whenever. I was supposed to go to Christopher's house last night for cocktails with Jhames and a few people. Sadly since the truck is dead, fuel pump, I had no ride. But I told James that I probably won't be there so they wouldn't be waiting. Oh well.
Had an interesting conversation with Justin today. I don't know what the deal is, seriously. On one hand i feel like i'm doing the right thing, and on the other hand i feel like a chump. Man, life sucks donkey ass! I'm just glad I have Justin right now. At least that much I can count on.
I guess I'm going to Zu for some drinks tonight with some friends. I haven't been there in a while. We'll see how it goes.
9/27/01: "RUMP RUMP RUBBING. AN ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC TERM"
So mr. Jhames returns to Denver tomorrow. I guess it's some huge event to some people. Boobicitos knows I love him to death, but an event? hmmmm. I'm thinking more of snackie food and Monopoly. (I'm there with you Jhames! Fuck the Triangle) anyway I was going to go to the airport with Christopher to pick him up, but I remembered the hightened security and stuff. so I'll lay low. Margaret Cho is on Friday, might go see her, unless a certain person has his party in which case i rather go to that. Saturday is the Basemant Jaxx show, gotta see that. I loves me some Basement Jaxx, and that Simon Ratcliff is such a cutie too. Reminds me of Confucious, mmmmmm. I'm going with Cory, that is IF he calls me. :)
Speaking of which, that little rant earlier about not being able to count on friends. I forgot what Trip taught me. So no one take offense to that, my feelings get hurt too, anyhow I love you all and that's what matters. And if I've offended anyone with my talk of moving away next year I'm sorry. You know what I mean when I say I "have no ties in Denver aside from my family". Again I love you (and "you" know who "you" are), you know this because I tell you all the time and if it bothers you that much, ask yourself this... when was the last time YOU called ME?
Oh yeah! "Rump Rump Rubbing" I guess it's something these monkeys do. The males put their asses together and rub their scrotums! And the scientist on PBS called it "rump rump rubbing"...true story.
9/24/01: "I WANT MY HONEY COME BACK, SOMETIMES..."
OK, so it's been a week and i've been neglectful. I'll be good and try to keep this up. I've been thinking about the tragedy and everything that is going on in the world and I have my opinions. None of which I'll share here, they are MY opinions and I plan to keep them that way. (and besides, i don't feel like arguing with people about my beliefs) Here is the week in review: 1) my folks finally moved into their apartment. now it's just my sister's family, myself and the pooch. It's empty in the house without my Mom and Dad there, I don't like it and I can't wait to get out. 2) Jhames is coming back before he moves out to California...I'm sure hyjinks will ensue. 3) I've been thinking about Trip alot lately, I miss him. 4) My uncle died. My mom didn't take it too well, then again, it hasn't been a very good two weeks for her. we're headed out to Bum-Fuck Colorado today for the Funeral tomorrow. Relatives...greeeeat! 5) Sometimes I feel really bad because I have friends that I love and I can never count on them. But maybe that's why I love them...You know I actually plan on NOT counting on them. But like my Dad told me, the only person you can count on is yourself, and you can't even do that all the time. what a shitty way to live. But it's the truth. I just want to be someone who can be counted on. Is that conceit or spite? I think I just want to be a good person.
Today I think I saw the funniest Jerry Springer ever. the topic was "Freaky Sex Fetishs". Leave it to good old Jerry. The first freak was "Fishboy", this guy had apparently developed a sexual attraction to fish at the age of 16 while working in a fish packing plant. He actually talked to them...and made them talk back! "would you like to go home with me fishy?" "Why yes I would. I'd love to, you are the most handsome man in the world" (actual quote) Then was the "Rice Krispy Treat Lesbians", this large breasted woman was making Rice Krispie treats with her friend and leaned over into the Rice Krispies and OOPS! LESBIANS! or as they put it "snap-krackle-pop". the friend had a boyfriend, when they brought him out to confess their fetish he couldn't have been more than delighted. Uhm, let's see...oh yeah the guy who liked to make love to banquet ice sculptures. the "stuffed animal guy" and the "Mud Girl". Hal the J.S. Security guy got involved in the mud/love fest along with the girl and her boyfriend. God bless daytime tv!!
Oh yeah, the Madonna Journal is coming...
9/11/01:
i haven't been in here a while, i had lots to tell you. however...
this morning i wake to the sight of a building on fire and a plane crashing into another.
i am speachless, i am horrified, i am sad, i am angry and most of all i am scared.
i don't understand how this can happen. and i don't understand why this happened.
what the fuck have we come to?
8/22/01: "I'VE BEEN BUSY"
holy cow!, I've been totally busy the past week. And a lot has happened, so I don't think I'm going to jabber into the details as I usually do, instead here's the short and sweet version.
Work absolutely sucked last week. About four tons of crap was dumped on me and I still have all the shit I was working on before that. Huh, I guess that's why they call it "work".
My "problem" is still sticking around. And it totally sucks! As per my father's advice I've been laying low on the usual activities, which is totally driving me insane. I don't think I can make it.
The Rave on the Rocks/Weekend of E show was fucking incredible. (pictures are floating around in here somewhere) Night one started out early, and by that I mean we got there EARLY! But I guess that paid off because we were in front row. Which was very cool. Review is as follows: DJ Fury and MC Dino...jungle, it was ok, but not to listen to for 2 hours. Keoki I like him, but you know it was the usual. Bad Boy Bill, ok he kicked ass! Unfortunately the X I had was mostly speed, so I didn't get to enjoy much of B.B.B. because I kept having to go for walks. Roni Size, I thought he was going to perform with Reprazent (his band) but he just threw down a dj set, which was really good, but I got burnt out on jungle and D&B with DJ Fury. Rabbit in the Moon rocked, as usual. Words cannot express how unbelievably cool their show was. And as a bonus we got lots of free stuff!! Glowsticks, prism glasses, and they were throwing out cd's and vinyl and stuff. And I got a prop!! Woo hoo! I got a flag from the "Japanese" portion of the show. Night 2, we missed Scott Hardkiss. But Static Revenger was really good. I got a picture with him, and he was a really nice guy. DJ DAN was the SHIT! He threw down a good set. And Static Revenger did a second set which was even better than the first. Uberzone was fucking cool, I need to see him in a smaller venue. And Crystal Method was excellent as usual, but nothing too exciting. Sadly night 2 was spent sober, my 14 year old niece was with us, so I had to be responsible.
And finally I'm having issues with my friend in NY. It just seems that every time I talk to him he's being really judgemental, and kinda mean. I don't know maybe part of the problem is we only talk through AIM and over the phone. But I just feel that east coast attitude coming out. I sorta felt it when he was here but just ignored it. Oh well, life's to short to be petty.
Oh yeah, I'm still not sleeping too well.
8/13/01: "AN HOUR IS GOOD, BUT WAY TOO LONG"
So I can't sleep. I don't know what the deal is. It sucks. I've resorted to taking Tylenol PM to knock me out. I've heard all sorts of diagnosis' and remedies. I think it may be something that's on my mind. What that may be i'm not quite sure, well actually i think i do. I'm in denial though. Oh well. Maybe i can use this free time to be all creative and stuff. The folks are packing up and moving, so now i guess i HAVE TO find a place for me and the pooch. More on that later. Other than the sleep thing i guess things are good. Got a new outfit for Vegas. Not for the show, maybe a pre party ensemble. This weekend is a big weekend. Rave on the Rocks. I can't wait.(pics will be posted next week)I got my tab and the good times will roll.
Do you ever imagine that your friends are porn stars? I DO!
Lesson learned this weekend: if it's longer than 20 minutes just stop, you'll wind up hurting youself.
8/9/01: “I WILL BE FABULOUS!!!”
Ok, so some things to catch up on from the past few days, I guess. Well the date is rapidly approaching, only 24 more days until Madonna. 24 days!!! I talked to Christopher and we are not getting an SUV to drive out but instead we’re renting a luxury vehicle, which is totally ok with me. I think we’d look a lot cooler cruising around Vegas in a Lincoln Town Car as opposed to looking like the Perkins family vacation. I know, I know…it sounds dumb but the way I see it is this is my vacation, this is Vegas and most importantly I’m going to see Madonna…I think I actually WANT to be fabulous and glamorous for once in my life. So Labor Day weekend it’s all about “fabulousness” and “glamoure”, champagne and little nibbly things, Gucci and Versace, Valet Parking and Room Service. I’m going all out baby! But more importantly, what am I going to wear? I was thinking about bringing out “The CowBoy”, a little alter ego of mine that allows me to be ultra-cool and super mysterious. But I thought EVERYONE is going to be doing that! And I’m sorta’ getting into this 70/80’s glam thing going on, but I don’t know if I can pull it off with out looking like a total fool. Ultimately I think I might try to work this punk rock/glamour puss look I’ve been trying to put together. We’ll see and I’ll try to keep everyone updated. I was telling our receptionist yesterday that my only stress is what I’m wearing to the show. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. Bad in the sense that how sad is it that I’m “stressing out “ about it and good that it’s the ONLY thing I’m stressing out about. I rented Dance In The Dark the other night. I love me some Bjork. This movie just proves to the world that there’s more to her than funny clothes. I was totally blown away, so go out and rent it, rent it rent it. I got a new CD ROBO FUNK by DJ C4. Hard aggressive electro-breaks buy it, buy it, buy it! So I’ve been feeling pretty bad lately. Seeing as I had some life changing shit go down this year some things got kinda’ fucked up. I cut off a lot of relationships that I was involved in, which was good. But I have a certain friend whom I sorta’ fucked things up with. Granted at the time I had some issues with some behavior that was going on. But I handled things like a complete idiot, a jack-ass to be more accurate. We were really close; he’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a brother. I don’t know if he really understands that. I always put him up on a pedestal and the small things I put away. Eventually they built up. And with some of the stuff I was going through I just didn’t have the physical and/or mental energy to deal with what his reaction was going to be. So I shut him out. I couldn’t have him around me at that time. It was a dumb decision and I feel like shit for the way I handled it. I was a pussy. After I got my shit together, my number one priority was to iron things out with him. This did not go very well; in fact things couldn’t have gone worse. I tried to explain to him why I did what I did, and why I needed to do it. He was not happy. I don’t blame him. I fucked him over. Here is one of the only people I trusted with anything, and who was always there for me. And I shut him out. It’s like, who do I think I am? I don’t know…we “patched things up that night”. But it’s never been the same. Man, I fucked up this one. I feel so uncomfortable around him now, it’s like I’m walking on eggshells. It comes down to the fact that I’m afraid. I lost his trust by what I did, and I’m afraid that I’ll do it again. If I say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing. I should feel bad. I mean shit, I’m the only one to blame, like I said, I fucked up and this is the repercussion of my actions. I need to talk to him is what I need to do. But I’m afraid that if I do he’ll just get upset again. I dunno’ we’ll see. I just know I have to fix this.
8/6/01: “I'M GONNA' NEED TO SEE YOUR LICENSE AND REGISTRATION.”
I got a ticket. I got a fucking speeding ticket this morning. DAMNIT! Fucking pigs!!
Seriously, I think that cop had it out for me, everyone else was speeding, but did they get pulled over…NO! And to top it off it’s a $100.00 fine…whatever. Well, I guess someone has to pay for the new stadium. And the cop wasn’t even cute, that would have a least helped. And he had this horrible egg skillet breath and southern-country-bumpkin’ accent. Now even in my wildest porn fantasies, I’ve always dreamt of being pulled over by some buff country boy cop..."Ahm gonna' need ya' ta bend over an' spread'em"...and the cop would be like some ex-porn star like Blue Blake who quit the biz to move to Denver to become a cop…”Why no officer, I don’t know why you pulled me over, is there anything I can…uh, do…to make you put that big ticket book away?” Or what if I had super powers? “I need you to take your sunglasses off sir.” “But what you don’t understand officer, is if I take off these modified Gucci’s, intense gamma rays will shoot out of my eyes destroying everything in direct line of sight. I know you don’t understand, why would you? But after the near fatal car accident at Rocky Flats, on my way to a frat party in Boulder things have never been the same. I was whisked away to a top-secret government lab at NORAD and they had the technology, the technology to make me better…stronger…faster. I’m now this country’s only line of defense, a secret operative that works as a marketing director during the day and fights terrorists at night. So if you don’t mind I’ll be on my way now, I have important work to do…good day” Yeah that would be cool…NO! The power of the Jedi!! “I’m going to have to give you a ticket” (waving hand) “You don’t want to give me a ticket”, “Come to think of it I’m not going to give you a ticket” (waving hand again) “you’re going to forget you ever pulled me over”, “sir, you’re gonna’ need to move on, there’s nothing to see here” (this hand thing is getting old) “you will sing bad disco in drag for the rest of the day”, “At first I was afraid I was petrified…” Fucking Fascist Pigs! The last thing I need right now is a ticket. And I was already running late for work, hence the speeding. And I was cutting through a park, Ruby Hill Park, and for those of you who know there’s that big hill there, I couldn’t help but speed. What nobody seem to understand is I’m the victim here! I pay my taxes. C’mon it was a park not like anyone really LIVES there, no one was in danger. BASTARDS!! So kids, it looks like I’ll be jetting off to see Madonna in Vegas a hundred bucks lighter.
Oh yeah: Do not, I repeat DO NOT try the underwear in the freezer thing if you actually live with someone. Apparently housemates don’t appreciate your frozen drawers chillin’ atop their frozen t-bones. Some people, I mean really.
8/02/01: "...OF SOUND BODY AND MIND..."
I'm dying. No, really, I am. so I'm sick...and it sucks! I cought some fucked up virus that does the following; it makes me extremely tired and makes me feel like someone just beat the living shit out of me. GOOD TIMES! so i called into work yesterday and slept all day, literally. and woke up this morning and just wanted to go back to bed. My boss told me to go home today, but I have so much shit to do here. DAMNIT! DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT!so tonight is going to consist of reading my book(Barrel Fever by David Sedaris...funny shit seriously), eating(maybe)and then sleeping. maybe I have mono, can you die from mono? I'll have to look into that.
7/31/01: PREHEAT AND BAKE 'TILL GOLDEN BUBBLEY!
Ahhh, what a nice refreshing day. Seeing as the weather has decided to take a strange turn for the worse it would appear that we are in fact in the very depths of hell. All right so maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but I mean really, this summer stuff stops being fun when even the mosquitoes are too hot to bite. Not that I hate the summer or anything, it's much better than the winter here and as we all know I hate snow. It’s ok on TV, like on a sit-com or a made for TV movie and it miraculously starts snowing on Christmas morn. But I’ve never seen the Cunningham's have to go out and dig the Fonze out of a six-foot snowdrift. Leave it on the Christmas cards and off of my streets. Anyway, back to the heat...Friday was my first day back after a five day business trip to San Francisco, I wasn't aware that once one enters the bay area you are immediately transported to the southern hemisphere, it was like freakin' winter. Maybe it wasn't that cold, it reminded me of late fall in Denver, and here I am...the token' tourist walking around in shorts and a t-shirt freezing my ass off while all the locals are bundled up all toasty and warm. "hot-coca? anyone?" I guess I just acclimated to the weather out there and when I got back into Denver I felt I was in an oven. And I’m still feeling it. I wonder if the trick from that commercial really works where the guy freezes his boxers...I’ll have to try that and let you know how it goes. We’re supposed to be getting a cold front in and cool off, until then I’ll be hanging out at either the mall or the supermarket. HEY! It’s free air conditioning as far as I care. OH MY GOD...so let me tell you about my weekend. So Saturday was the AREA:ONE Festival. Such a glorious event put together by one of my heroes, MOBY. Hence, I’ll lovingly refer to it as Mobypalooza. This show had some really great acts Rinocerose, Kevin Saunderson, Nelly Furtado, Carl Cox, The Roots, Incubus, The Orb, Paul Oakenfold, Outkast and of course MOBY. So our day at Mobypalooza started out innocently enough. We caught the end of Rinocerose and some of Kevin Saunderson and Nelly. And the whole day was one big "Oh my God!! I haven't seen you in so loooooong!!!" we ran into so many peeps there. And hung out for a while, earlier we had decided that we were just going to play it by ear and let the day flow as it might. Well flow it did. Fortune smiled down upon us and granted us a really good hook up for some ecstasy. woo-hoo, our friend TK (name changed to protect the innocent) ran into this guy that she knew who had the proverbial “hook-up”. After waiting for what seemed like and eternity, my pals and popped our pills and merrily headed into the dj tent to see the Orb. Now, I love me some Orb and all, but they were actually pretty boring. I had more fun watching the 3 girls and their parents behinds us. the girls were your typical mall rats, but mom and dad, in their 40’s were much more fun. Mom was having fun reliving her hey-days from the 70’s, maybe the atmosphere gave her an acid flash back and she thought she was at a Steve Miller Band concert, she was feeling the groove…man. Dad on the other hand was busting’ his shit. Boy had his groove on, and actually seemed like he was enjoying the music. Every once in a while I’d look over my shoulder and see him and he’d just give me a big smile and a wink of the eye. He was pretty sweaty and out of breath but still managed to not miss a beat. I hope I look that good when I’m his age he was fit and a tad muscular and actually pretty cute. He had nice strong hands too, that’s good and really great hair. And the lights shining off of his sweaty face defined his features, sorta’ like a living statue. I think he was flirting with me…or maybe it was just the X kicking in. naw, he was flirting with me. (Humor me!) Anyhow, like I said the Orb was a tad boring and we headed out to the open are outside the tent and we stumbled upon TK and her boyfriend Ben. She poked my leg, something I found extremely funny. Oh yeah, it's kicking in. so we sat for a while and then heard Paul Oakenfold come on and bee-lined it straight for the tent. The second I felt the bass I was in heaven. You know it's funny how you can attach certain emotions to certain events, I really wasn't a big Paul Oakenfold fan but after that I'm hooked. The man can have his way with me anyway he wants, just as long as he keeps doing what he does. So after what seemed an eternity of dancing, zillions of people and me waiving my hands up to the air screaming "oh yeah, oh god!" Justin and I thought it would be a good idea to step outside. Personally it was because things were getting just a wee bit intense for me and I needed some space. Justin just had to pee, but I later found out he was feeling the same way too. OH! Did I mention that this was first time Justin ever rolled? (Insert maniacal laugh) so eventually Christoph and Cory joined us outside (Cory's first time too) and I was lying on the concrete. I think they thought I was gonna pull a Brittany and slip into a coma. Justin kept telling me "you're gonna' be ok", oh, silly boy, he had no clue. We were all gonna' be soooooo ok. In a while there would be no way we could be any more "ok". And poor poor Christoph, he was sober because he had to work, tearing down the show, as cool roadie work is his occupation now. (mental note: convince Christoph that sexual favors is a totally valid way for him to get me backstage) he had to sit and listen to us say gay ecstasy things like "man, I love you" ,"this is so great, I mean,you know just sitting here with really great people and listening to this great music,you know?" I think after his zillionth hug he was ready to have us committed or never allow us to do X in his presence ever again. Hey! I just really wanted to let him know I cared. So we're tweaking out, go fig take a drug with speed in it and then wonder why you feel so funny just sitting there. Justin suggested that we go out to the field and stake our spot for Moby. GOOD IDEA! Going back into the stadium was awesome it was bright and we were moving and most of all, all those people!!! I'm not going to go into the details of Moby's set (it was flawless, as usual) but I will tell you this, there was so much love going on between me, Justin and Cory, I tell ya'. But it felt good. I've always had an issue because these guys aren't very expressive, and that's something I need from people. And yes, it may have been the drugs, but having Justin and Cory say "I love you too" felt really good; it's something I'll never forget. And by the way my "issue" is gone now. OK, so with this first entry out of the way, I can promise you that what follows may not be as extensive or long. I'm not promising anything; we'll just see what happens. Until then I'm gonna go bake a cake in my car.
