The Stuffed, United: An Annotated History of the Stuffed Giraffe Coalition

The Stuffed, United!
An Annotated Documentary History of the
Stuffed Giraffe Coalition

Got Complaints For the the Official SGC Historian? E-mail herim here!!!!

Anything but this! I'll Go Back Quietly...

Part One: The Presidency of Roger Longears

1. Early Flyer

JOIN THE STUFFED GIRAFFE COALITION.

WE LIKE STUFFED ANIMALS. WE PROMISE.

YOU CAN JOIN EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT A GIRAFFE,
IF YOU WANT TO.
OR IF YOU ARE A GIRAFFE -
WE DON'T CARE, REALLY.

Editor's Note: There is no evidence that the Stuffed Giraffe Coalition (SGC) held more than two or three members when this flyer was drawn up. Much of the organization's later success has been attributed to the simplicity and elegance of the early flyer by at least two historians, Dmitri Smithson and Ilissa Rimb. Both Smithson and Rimb have since been denied tenure at Columbia University and are as a result now considered among the brightest stars in academia.

2. Excerpts From The Diary of Roger Longears, Stuffed Rabbit

February 2
Dear Diary,
I am very happy. Today I was made president of the Stuffed Giraffe Coalition, even though I am not a giraffe. But since I am stuffed all the giraffes said it was a good thing, that I would encourage interspecies cooperation, and that the stuffed of the world would unite behind us as long as we presented a divided fruit. Or was it that they would divide as long as we presented a united front? It was something like that, but I am very happy even though I can't remember it.
I like to be happy. Especially when I hop. I like to hop. Do you like to hop, diary?
I guess you can't hop, since you're just a diary. I'm sorry. That must be very sad.
But I am very happy, even though I'm sad.

February 6
Dear Diary,
I am very happy. I have been hopping very much and that always makes me happy. I hope you like to hop as much as I do, Diary. Even though you can't hop.
The Stuffed Giraffe Coalition is doing very well. Today I met a stuffed manatee named Flitcraft and heshe* was not especially happy when we met, but got very happy when I told herim about the SGC. Flitcraft agreed to join at once, and we decided that heshe would make a wonderful Vice President. So far, I have not convinced Flitcraft to hop, but I am convinced that it will happen, if we only give it time.

February 10
Dear Diary,
Today Flitcraft and I met a puppy named Louise. Louise was also very happy to join the SGC, and heshe agreed to become the Chairanimal of the Board. I am very happy, especially since heshe, like Flitcraft and myself, is not a stuffed giraffe, since heshe is a puppy. Not to be mean to the giraffes, because I am very happy with how much they have done for stuffed animals everywhere, but I am very happy also that neither Louise or Flitcraft or me is a giraffe, because giraffes shouldn't be the only animals in the Stuffed Giraffe Coalition. We also had our first executive board meeting. I brought a real board to the meeting with me, which I hide behind when I don't feel like playing, but Flitcraft explained that boards don't have anything to do with boards, which didn't make much sense, but I am very happy anyway.* At the meeting we agreed that I would make a speech at the Lamb Chop Memorial Dinner next week and we agreed to set up a Small Appliances Division, since several toaster ovens attended the meeting and asked to be included in our Coalition. Louise didn't feel especially happy about the Small Appliances Division at first, but Flitcraft talked herim into it. Heshe seems to be very happy when heshe talks stuffed animals into doing things. I don't know why, but I am very happy that heshe is so happy.
I hopped around the playroom for two hours after the meeting. I like hopping. I am very happy when I hop. I think that if we all hopped more, we could all be happier.

February 13
Dear Diary,
It is a Friday, and I am very happy. I worked on my speech for two hours this afternoon. I am calling it "Hopping as the Means to the Liberation of the Stuffed." I tried to read part of it to Flitcraft, but heshe didn't seem very happy with it, so I stopped reading, because I didn't want to make herim unhappy. I like animals to be happy, and I suggested that heshe hop a little, because that always makes me happy, but heshe didn't seem to be very interested, so I changed the subject to the Small Appliances Division, and heshe seemed happier with that.
I like hopping very much. It makes me very . . . well, you know, Diary.

February 17
Dear Diary,
Louise came to see me today. Heshe said that as Chairanimal heshe is a little worried about the lack of progress of the SGC under my leadership, and wants to encourage me to try to expand the SGC as best I can. I explained that my program--"Hop Towards Liberation"--would almost certainly result in lots of recruits once animals realized how wonderful hopping was, but heshe didn't seem to be convinced. Flitcraft also seems to have some serious doubts about the validity of hopping as political action. I'm sure my speech will convince them, however, of the importance of hopping to the future of the Coalition. I am very happy about that, Diary. And I am happy when I hop, which is what I did all afternoon.

* "Heshe" and "herim" are the customary pronouns used by stuffed animals when referring to one another, primarily because the sex of a stuffed animal is not always easy to determine. Even names are very little help, since most stuffed animals are named by their owners, most of whom do not have the faintest clue as to how to determine the sex of a stuffed animal.

* This discussion of how Roger Longears got out of playing was a crucial source for Muliani Ribboter, "Hiding Behind Boards: The Work/Play Culture of Stuffed Animals And The SGC," Journal of Stuffed Studies (November 1999).

Editor's Note: The entire text of The Diary of Roger Longears is now available in paperback from the Monkeyshines Press. We thank the Monkeyshines Foundation for their permission to reprint these selections.

3. Excerpts From "Hopping as the Means To The Liberation of the Stuffed," Speech
Delivered By Roger Longears At The Lamb Chop Memorial Dinner, February 18

(From Page 1:)
I am very happy when I hop. Hopping allows the stuffing to be more evenly distributed. And it encourages the circulation of stuffing, especially important in many of our more thoroughly stuffed comrades. It therefore allows us to think more clearly, and I like to think clearly, and that makes me very happy.
I like to be happy.
Do you like to be happy?
I like to hop.
Do you like to hop? . . .

(From Page 7:)
Hopping is not the subject of my talk tonight. Let me say a few more words about it, though, before moving on. I like to hop very much. It makes me very happy when I hop. . .

(From Page 21:)
As I said, hopping is not the subject of my talk tonight. I came to talk to you about the importance of the Stuffed Giraffe Coalition. I am president of the Stuffed Giraffe Coalition. It makes me happy. Like when I hop. Hopping makes me very happy too. The thing about hopping is that . . .

(From Page 24:)
That is probably enough about hopping.
The Stuffed Giraffe Coalition has not formally endorsed hopping as the means to the liberation of stuffed animals, but I hope we will do so shortly. And I hope that you will join us. Thank you for your attention. Good night, and I hope that you are very happy.*

*Rumor has it that after the speech was over, a teddy bear stood up and yelled that the Stuffed Giraffe Coalition was just a weapon of the unstuffed, and that the members were nothing more than a bunch of reactionaries who refused to acknowledge the importance of direct action. According to the same rumor, the bear was removed, taken out to the back of the banquet hall, and never heard from again. Sources close to the SGC assure me that this is only a rumor, one that was started by the enemies of the SGC some months after the great Lamb Chop Memorial Dinner. To be fair, there is no evidence that this rumor has any merit to it. For further information see Red The Parrot, "Some Speculations On The Lamb Chop Memorial Dinner," Journal of Stuffed Studies (April 2000), pp. 23-91. The reference is on page 27; most of the article addresses the post-structural issues surrounding Lamb Chop Memorial Dinners, and it is entirely incomprehensible, since thirty-two of those pages are written in a variation of pig latin understood only by the author in order to "voidagea eithea iscursivedababa rapapsate theof languare-Englibabble." (Loosely translated, to "avoid the discursive traps of the English language.")

Editor's Note: This text is taken from "Selected Speeches of the Stuffed Movement," ed. Betsy Ferrett, M.A. (Monkeyshines Press, forthcoming). Monkeyshines Press has asked us to make clear to all readers that the press is not, contrary to some rumors, considering a move to Sassafras County, Missouri. In fact, the press has discovered they can find editors, proofreaders, and writers far cheaper in Saskatchewan, which is itself relocating to Sweden, which is relocating to somewhere in Southeast Asia. The press has also asked us to make clear that they are moving not just for profit, but out of their responsibility as citizens of the world.

The official SGC historian does not especially believe them. However, we in Sassafras County, in keeping with the nation's democratic tradition, wholely support the right of freedom of speech for all, liars included if the lies are dressed up in moralistic or patriotic rhetoric. That is what made our country great. And we're going to continue to practice our noble traditions, unless you have a problem with America. Which you'd better keep to yourself, because I sent this link to John Ashcroft, who is very likely monitoring this page.

4. Two Memoranda ("Fiasco" and "Flitcraft" Memoranda)**

To: Roger Longears
From: Louise Puppy
Date: February 20
Re: Resignation

Due to the recent fiasco at the Lamb Chop Memorial Dinner, I hereby request that you submit your resignation to me not later than noon of February 23.

I have enjoyed working with you very much up until this point, and hope that you will remain a member of the SGC.

Sincerely,

Louise Puppy
Chairanimal
Stuffed Giraffe Coalition

To: Flitcraft Manatee
From: Louise Puppy
Date: February 20
Re: Resignation

As per our earlier discussion, due to the recent fiasco* at the Lamb Chop Memorial Dinner, I have been forced to ask Roger Longears to resign as President of the SGC, and would like to offer you the position on an interim basis. Please keep in mind, however, that unless the SGC begins to show signs of growth in the near future, we will be forced to seek a president outside the organization. (In all fairness, I should tell you that several Trotskyists have shown an interest in becoming leaders in the struggle for the SGC.)

Sincerely,

Louise Puppy
Chairanimal
Stuffed Giraffe Coalition

**These memoranda titles are from the SGC Memoranda Catalog, Boston University Press, San Diego, California.

*The use of this word is taken, by some, to indicate that the previously cited rumor of the mysterious teddy bear disappearance has some justification. Most historians of the SGC, however, hold that it refers to Longears's speech, parts of which are reprinted above as Document 3. Had Louise Puppy been referring to the teddy bear incident, there could be no reason of which we are aware to request Longears's resignation.

These two memoranda are both available in Only I Knew Louise: A Memoir, by Billy, Human Owner of Louise Puppy. It is being published by Ogilbie House, and will soon be a major motion picture. Steven Seagal is rumored to be auditioning for the role of Louise.

Part Two: The Heyday of SGC Activism

5. Letter from Flitcraft to SGC Membership

              THE STUFFED GIRAFFE COALITION, INC.
                                                            "The Stuffed, United, Shall Never Be Neglected"

                                                                                              March 15

Dear Madamsir,

     As Interim Acting President of the SGC, it is my happy duty to inform you of some of our current concerns. We at the SGC have formally endorsed the following platforms:
          (a) fair treatment of all teddy bears; no hugging for more than three hours and thirty minutes every two days;
          (b) at least two (2) new pieces of furniture for every dollhouse once a year (preferably on child's birthday and/or Christmas and/or Hanukah and/or June 6th, Stuffed Appreciation Day, but this is to be left to the owner's discretion);
          (c) full medical coverage for all stuffed animals (coverage must include stuffing transfusion; adequate patching for all, regardless of age, color, or species; and full dental coverage for all stuffed animals, regardless of number, prominence, or existence of teeth);
          (d) no excessive scrubbing of rubber duckies without their prior permission, preferably in writing;
          (e) no more referring to ventriloquist puppets as "dummies";
          (f) and SGC representation in all owner-animal negotiations.

     We do not think these demands are radical, as our opponents have occasionally charged. Indeed, if anything, we at the SGC believe that these demands are long overdue.

     It was not long ago when we lived in a dark time, when no stuffed animal could raise heris voice, for fear of violent reprisals from spoiled children. But now those days--those dark and merciless days--are beginning to come to a close. The time has come when we can stand on our own feet (or paws)! The time has come when we will get the dignity that we have so long deserved.

     But to achieve this goal, we will need your help.

     Go to your cupboards, your closets, your dressers. Hunt there for the forgotten, the lost and lonely stuffed animal who has lost all hope, and tell herim--RISE! FOR WE HAVE ONLY JUST BEGUN TO FIGHT!

     Although the Workers' World Party,* the Teamsters, and the American Federation of Teachers have all claimed to be the leaders of the stuffed crusade, we at the SGC believe that only the stuffed can truly lead the stuffed to liberation.

     On Stuffed Appreciation Day, June 6, we will be holding our first rally, in front of the Disney store in Times Square. I invite all our allies, stuffed and un-stuffed alike, to join us there.
We can make history. And we will. But the very use of the word "we" in this context means that you're going to have to help.

     I hope to see you all on June 6.
                                                                                              Sincerely,

                                                                                              Flitcraft
                                                                                              Interim Acting President, SGC

* The Workers' World Party is a small group of Trotskyists; apparently most members tend to be obsessed with origami, for reasons which are at this moment unclear.

Editor's Note: This letter can be found in "The Wit And Wisdom Of Flitcraft," and has recently been the subject of a lengthy House of Representatives debate during the hearings on "Radical Propaganda in the Stuffed Movement," pursuant to House Resolution S-38774.

6. Report of "Slogan" Committee - "Possible SGC Slogans, March 29"

"The Stuffed, United, Will Never Be Defeated"
"Hop Till You Drop!"*
"No More Naptime Unless We're Tired!"
"Why Are There So Many Monkeys In This Coalition?"
"Cotton Stuffing Cannot Replace Pride"
"Because Stuffed Animals Are Worthy Of Dignity"
"Eternal Vigilance Is The Price of Good Stitching"
"Monkeys! There Are Monkeys Everywhere!"
"Trust Not The Monkeys!"
"If We Tickled You For No Reason, You'd Form A Coalition, Too!"
"We May Be Stuffed, But Our Opponents Are Full Of It!"

* The appearance of this slogan has led to a number of questions for historians studying stuffed animals. Jensen and Barksalot's masterful Stuffed!: The Early Years of the SGC takes the stand that Roger Longears, though no longer President of the SGC, was still involved in the movement. Others, most importantly the recent dissertation by Ilissa Rimb, entitled "The Mysterious Slogan Committee: A Study In Agency, Antidisestablishmentarianism, and Experiential Freudianism Within Flitcraft's SGC," have taken the stand that, even as early as this, the SGC contained several dissident factions, one of which had unofficially endorsed Longears's speech as their platform. Rimb's argument has some backing in that it perhaps points to a possible explanation for the repeated references to monkeys, which the Jensen-Barksalot theory noticeably fails to explain.

7. "Stuffed Animals Begin Campaign With Riot," from the New York Daily Babbler
["All The Objectivity That's Fit To Print"]

NEW YORK - The stuffed animals are on the march, and nothing seems to stop them.
Stuffed animals weren't something to which anyone gave a second thought three months ago. But now no one--not even the stodgiest toy-owner in the tri-state area--can ignore their campaign.

Rally
Their June 6th rally to kick off their latest organizing campaign is a prime example of the sort of wild events which they seem to believe represent an appropriate organizing strategy. A huge crowd of animals gathered in Times Square, in front of the Dimney Store, and began calling to those well-behaved animals still within the store to come out and join their quest.
The animals within the store refused, naturally. Dimney's animals clearly understand that this campaign offers them nothing that they couldn't get on their own.* In fact, the response from the noble Dimney animals within the store seemed to be overwhelmingly against this sort of disturbance.
After a two-hour melee** in the streets, during which a particularly rough teddy bear got a small portion of his fur scratched, the Dimney security guards and the New York Police Department--since the Times Square Reconstruction Corporation has taken over, the two forces have been merged--gained control of the situation. The animals retreated, some to the beds of their owners, others to jail.

Estimates Differ
Police estimated that there were only 100 to 150 animals present during the disturbance.
Rally organizers, however, tell a different story. In an interview with one "Flitcrift," a stuffed manatee who seems to be the primary leader behind the movement at present, the manatee was irate at police estimates. "This simply represents yet one more attempt to downplay our movement," Mr. Flitcrift said, "but we won't be fooled. We know what happened that afternoon."
But when asked what it was that happened, exactly, the stuffed manatee was less helpful, and even seemed somewhat bewildered. "Even we don't understand what has started here," Flitcrift admitted. "In fact, it seems to me that much of what happened at that rally was more than we bargained for. It seemed like the cries of stuffed animals had been ignored for so long, they have just begun to boil over.
"Imagine it," Mr. Flitcrift went on. "Three thousand stuffed animals, united in purpose and mind, all calling for the rights that have so long been denied them."

Disturbance May Not Be The Last, Both Parties Say
The stuffed animal struggle has not come to an end, however much officials at Dimney may hope that it has.
"We expect further disturbances," a spokesperson for the mayor's office said. "And you can be assured that they will meet with the same sort of response--and no greater success--than their outrageous actions in Times Square."
The police commissioner agreed. "Stuffed animals," he said at a press conference shortly after the rally, "have no business taking out their complaints on the people of the city of New York. We will not tolerate this sort of behavior, whether the perpetrators are cute and fuzzy or not. That doesn't mean they'll stop--I have no reason to think that they will stop, at this point. It means that we will meet their actions with all necessary and proper force."
And, strangely enough, the ongoing nature of the struggle was the one thing on which Mr. Flitcrift and the city spokespeople seem to be in agreement. "We will not stop, and neither will they, so the struggle continues," read a press release from Flitcrift's office staff.

*The publisher of the Babbler, Mr. A.K. Sevirn, was, perhaps not coincidentally, a major stockholder in the Dimney corporation.

**This "two-hour melee," according to interviews with participants, probably lasted about twenty or twenty-five minutes, and involved only a small minority of the participants in the rally, whom a particularly old-looking turtle referred to as "young rapscallions barely out of their egg sacs."

8. Memorandum

To: Flitcraft Manatee
From: Louise Puppy
Date: June 14
Re: Presidency, SGC

This memorandum is primarily to confirm in writing what I told you this morning. The SGC is showing remarkable signs of improvement thanks to your daring "Stuffed Appreciation Day" Rally last week. And we have decided that you should definitely be the next permanent SGC president.

In addition, however, I wanted to show you the enclosed news clipping, from the Daily Babbler. While it is extremely critical of our movement in general and you in particular (not to mention that it misspells your name and constantly addresses you as "Mr."),* I think it will give you some idea of how important we are. Not even the Babbler dares to ignore us.
Best of luck!

Sincerely,

Louise Puppy
Chairanimal
Stuffed Giraffe Coalition

*Some scholars have questioned why no petition or letter was ever issued against the Babbler for this breech of grammatical etiquette. One scholar, Dmitri Smithson, in The Dark Underbelly of the SGC, has even gone so far as to suggest that the SGC was nothing more than a clever ploy by the Babbler and perhaps even by the Dimney Corporation itself in order to distract, divide, and eventually destroy what had been a grassroots movement of the stuffed. A more likely explanation, however, is offered by Jensen and Barksalot, in Stuffed, where they say, "While no response to the infamous Babbler article has been found, it is likely that it has simply been lost amidst the Babbler's vast and incomprehensible filing system, where most materials on the SGC that historians have so far uncovered are mysteriously filed under 'Dry-Cleaning--Issues and Actions'."

Editor's Note: Though it is not certain, we presume that the Babbler article referred to in the memorandum is the one included in this documentary history (Document 7).

9. Minutes, SGC Strategy Session, July 20

Flitcraft: Must continue organize, continue recruiting members.
Lucinda (Toaster Oven/SGC Organizer): What about the SGC's Small Appliance Division? SAD has not received organization's full attention lately. Very important to continue SAD work.*
Flitcraft: Must table this issue. Very important, though.
Pombo Monster: Why so many human volunteers for SGC?**
Flitcraft: Must table this issue. Very important, though. Must think of ways to recruit new members.
Louise Puppy: Perhaps another letter? Very impressive first few weeks in office.
Lucinda: Perhaps include clause in letter about small appliances' issues.
Pombo: Perhaps send letter to only those genuine stuffed, rather than humans or small appliances?
Lucinda: Perhaps Pombo is a stuffed freak.
Pombo: Perhaps Lucinda's circuits are crossed.
Lucinda: Perhaps Pombo's stuffing is actually sawdust.
Pombo: Perhaps Lucinda is full of crumbs.
Lucinda: Perhaps Pombo is flammable. Could test this theory.
Flitcraft: Must table these personal issues. Letter, perhaps should be hiser own project, since heshe is now President, unless Louise wishes to write it.
Louise: Waives right to write it.
Pombo: Perhaps Lucinda's parents include an outdoor barbecue grill.
Flitcraft: Will write if committee wishes and if personal comments cease during meetings.
Pombo: Does not mean to make personal comments. SGC must live up to responsibility it has for stuffed animals before worrying about small appliances, etc.
Flitcraft: Must hang together or will hang separately. United, we are one. Divided, we are more than one.***
Pombo: Volunteers to write letter.
Flitcraft: Also volunteers to write letter. Suggests a vote.
Pombo: Disagrees; discusses vote-taking as fundamentally undemocratic. Is summarily overruled by Louise.
Committee takes a vote. Flitcraft wins by unanimous vote, with one abstension. Agrees to write letter.
Lucinda: Suggests adjournment.
Committee adjourns.

*Tragically little is known about the early history of the SGC's Small Appliance Division; indeed, this seems to be the earliest extensive discussion of any organizing of small appliances by the SGC. Dmitri Smithson, again in Dark Underbelly, has used this fact to suggest that the Small Appliance Division was nothing more than a ploy used by Dimney executives to break up the SGC and throw the whole movement into disarray, though Smithson wrote without the benefits of Longears's diary, which suggests that the SAD did exist. Others, most importantly Karin Montononono, have attempted to explain this paucity of source materials from the SAD by theorizing that the SAD's headquarters suffered at least eighty-three different electrical fires during the few years of its existence, and it is extremely unlikely, to say the least, that any papers would have survived, which would (Montononono contends) explain the lack of documentary evidence for the Small Appliance Division's existence.

**While Red the Parrot's "How Many Pombos?" article in the August 2000 Journal of Stuffed Studies has attracted some attention by coming forth with the theory that actually this Pombo was not the same one as the Pombo who later became a major influence in SGC politics, this theory seems to offer more by way of drama than by way of historical accuracy. The theories put forth by this Pombo seem remarkably similar to those by the later Pombo, if the two are not actually the same stuffed monster. This response was made very clearly by Karin Montononono, in her "One Pombo--That's How Many: A Response To Red The Parrot," in Journal of Stuffed Studies (August 2000).

***"Divided, We Are More Than One" became a popular slogan among many different protest organizations for many years following the SGC's rapid rise to prominence; reportedly, it was also used by ACT-UP, CISPES, SOS, and the Anti-Roadkill Coalition, among many others.

Editor's Note: These minutes were kept by Louise Puppy, and we are grateful to the Estate of Louise Puppy for permission to reprint them.

10. August 30th Flyer

RALLY IN FRONT OF
DIMNEY STORE!

THIS TIME, WE WILL BREAK THEM!

AUGUST 30 - 12:00 NOON

THE STUFFED, UNITED,
CAN NEVER BE DEFEATED!

11. "Radicals Create Panic--Dimney Stock Tumbles," from The New York Daily Babbler--September 1

NEW YORK - "Walt Dimney is probably turning over in his big block of ice."
That was the opinion of an analyst at the Times Square headquarters of Dimney, Inc. The stock prices had dropped from 128 1/3 yesterday morning down to 12 1/2, the current price, driving down much of the market with it. And all because of Flitcroft, the little manatee with a big ego.

Disturbing Rumors
Flitcroft's Stuffed Giraffe Coalition has long been one of the most radical organizations in the city. It has been rumored that they are connected to organized crime, communism, Muslim extremists, the Masons, several religious cults, and international drug dealers.*
When asked about these rumors by the press, an SGC spokespuppet had only the following statement: "We refuse to have words put into our mouths."
But whomever they are getting their funds from, it is very clear that the SGC is a dangerous and militant organization, one which must be stopped.

Invasion
Yesterday, at 12 noon, SGC members invaded the Dimney store on 42nd Street, finally making it inside the store.
The stuffed animals already inside the store, apparently exhausted by the constant attacks by SGC activists, seem to have greeted the invasion with a certain amount of resignation and even acceptance.
"We are delighted with the SGC's efforts on our behalf," one Dimney animal (who asked to remain anonymous) announced. "Really."
The brutal invasion lasted approximately three hours, after which police, armed with pillows, made it into the building.
"Pillows may seem drastic, but they are the most effective weapons against stuffed animals," the Police Commissioner explained. "And I have no intention of allowing one of my brave men to be hurt in this sort of foolish action. If those injuries can be avoided, we will avoid them."

Politicians Respond
The Mayor's office supported the police reaction fully. "All I can say," he announced, "is that the city owes the police forces a great debt for the restraint and charity which they have shown in ending the rally as quickly as possible."
Democrats in the City Council called for hearings, but promised that the hearings would be short and pointless, and would focus as much on the causes of the rally as the police response to it. They also announced that they had no doubt that the police were doing a fine job with regards to controlling crime and dissent in the city, and agreed that during the hearings they would consider raising the salaries of New York City police officers to avoid any suggestion that the police were being criticized.
The Stuffed Giraffe Coalition is now on the city's list of terrorist organizations. Anyone who has any knowledge of the whereabouts of Flitcroft or any of the other SGC leaders, please inform your local precinct as quickly as possible. You should consider him to be armed and extremely dangerous.

Dimney Stock Tumbles; Panic Follows
And, with it apparent that Dimney management no longer has control of their stuffed animals, Dimney's stock prices quickly tumbled; as a result, what seemed to be the beginnings of a panic shook the stock market as a whole. Frantic stockbrokers, many of them strong men, knelt before the Exchange, praying for what seemed like a miracle, that the Dimney animals would regain their composure before Monday's opening.
The Federal Reserve Chairman announced that if Dimney would only lay off a few thousand workers, the economy would be much better off, because that would combat fears of inflation. A spokesperson for Dimney's management promised to think it over, but so far, no such layoffs have taken place. Everyone, it seems, is waiting for Monday's opening.

*It is very difficult to understand this reference to the rumors of the SGC's connections to the Masons. The other rumors, though unsubstantiated, were certainly widespread during much of the SGC's history.

Editor's Note: It will perhaps please the reader to note that Dimney's stock rebounded after news came out that overpriced Monty Mouse toys would now be sold to starving workers in Taiwan (many of whom worked in factories which produced overpriced Monty Mouse toys which were sold to starving workers in Mexico). But the damage, at least to the SGC, had already been done. The Terrorist Organization label continued to be attached to the SGC for several months..

12. Letter from Flitcraft to SGC Membership

               THE STUFFED GIRAFFE COALITION, INC.
                                          "If We Tickled You For No Reason, You'd Form A Coalition Too!"

                                                                                              September 3

Dear Friend,

     This is the last letter you will be receiving from the SGC. Temporarily, at least, we have been driven underground. The repressive mechanisms of the state, with their horses, thousands of police, and even pillows, have been turned against us, and until this reign of terror ends, we must make certain that no more stuffed animals will be hurt because of our campaigns.

     Never fear--the SGC will not disband. We will keep fighting.

     We will keep fighting until every child on the planet knows that when a stuffed animal does not want to play, that decision must be the stuffed animal's and the stuffed animal's alone.

     We will keep fighting until everyone agrees that no stuffed animal will ever again be sentenced to life imprisonment in a dark closet, with evil dust-mites and moths lurking in every corner.

     We will keep fighting until the SGC has become the sole recognized voice for the stuffed animal population.

     We will keep fighting until we win.

     Some have said that we have made our point, that humans are beginning to see the light, that the condition of stuffed animals has already improved due to our actions.

      I would love to give the humans a free hand. I truly would. The trouble is that we know exactly what they'll do once they have it: they will push us right back into the closet.

      We will not go gentle into that dusty cupboard. For we have not yet begun to fight.

                                                                                              Sincerely,

                                                                                              Flitcraft
                                                                                              Interim Acting President, SGC

Editor's Note: This letter, perhaps Flitcraft's greatest literary accomplishment, was reprinted in full in Jensen and Barksalot's Stuffed! We would like to thank Edmund Jensen for permission to reprint it in this collection.

13. Memorandum, From Lucinda Toaster-Oven To Flitcraft ("SAD" Memorandum)

To: Flitcraft Manatee*
From: Lucinda Toaster-Oven
Date: September 10
Re: Underground

I am of course aware of the difficulties that the SGC is facing. However, despite our fears, so far, no one has at all threatened to close down or censor or even place under surveillance the Small Appliances Division. Apparently, the NYPD is unaware of its existence. Perhaps it is time to put more efforts into organizing the SAD?

Lucinda Toaster-Oven
Organizer
Small Appliances Division
Stuffed Giraffe Coalition

*Theories vary as to how Lucinda knew where to write to Flitcraft at this point, since heshe was, after all, a fugitive from justice. Karin Montononono, still the foremost authority on the Small Appliances Division's history, has suggested that the famous relationship between Flitcraft and Lucinda had already been formed by this time. Others--most importantly Jensen and Barksalot--have used this memorandum to prove that the hunt for Flitcraft was not being carried out with much enthusiasm, particularly since no stuffed animal would give any Flitcraft-hunters any information.

Editor's Note: This memorandum is printed in Lucinda: A Life, by Montgomery J. Tugwell.

Part Three: The Collapse of the SGC

14. Memorandum, From Lucinda to Flitcraft ("Postscript" Memo)

To: Flitcraft Manatee
From: Lucinda Toaster-Oven
Date: September 30
Re: SAD Growth

No doubt thanks to your assistance, I am pleased to report that the SAD has more than tripled its size for the month of September. I hope you are as pleased as I am with our organization's success.

Lucinda Toaster-Oven

PS: Marry me, and make me the happiest of toaster ovens!

Editor's Note: This memorandum is available in the Lucinda-Flitcraft Collection, Monkeyshines Archives, Monkeyshines, Alaska

*We have surprisingly little of this correspondence, though most have assumed that Flitcraft and Lucinda had grown to know each other fairly well by the time that Lucinda proposed marriage. This paucity of correspondence seems, in my estimation, to back up Montononono's contention that electrical fires may have destroyed many of the papers held by the Small Appliance Division.

15. Note, From Flitcraft to Lucinda*

Dear Lucinda,

     I barely know how to respond except to say...
     Yes, of course I'll marry you!

                           Your Flitcraft

Editor's Note: This note is available in the Flitcraft-Lucinda Collection, Shinylemur Library, Lemurville, Hawaii

16. Letter, From Pombo Monster to Louise Puppy

                               NEW STUFFED GIRAFFE COALITION
                    THE STUFFED, UNITED TOGETHER, BUT DIVIDED FROM ALL OTHERS!

                                                                                                            October 12

Dear Chairanimal Puppy,

     It has come to my attention that President Flitcraft has been seen quite frequently lately with a toaster oven named Lucinda, and rumor has it that the two are even planning to marry. As a strong believer in the importance of maintaining the purity of stuffed animals, this disturbs me greatly. I have spoken with a number of other SGC members, and they all agree. We, who have formed the New SGC Caucus (NSGCC),* therefore demand the following:

     (1) President Flitcraft be ordered to stop spending time with Lucinda at once, or else heshe must resign as SGC President.

     (2) Strict rules, in the form of amendments to the SGC constitution,** against the mixing of small appliances and stuffed animals.

     (3) The immediate disbanding of the "Small Appliances Division," which I have always had serious concerns about, as you know.

     The NSGCC thanks you for your attention this matter.

                                                                                                           Pombo Monster
                                                                                                           Chair, NSGCC

*As historians have shown time and again, ever since Jensen and Barksalot, the New Stuffed Giraffe Coalition Caucus was not, despite Pombo's suggestion, formed so casually. In the first place, as Barksalot showed in the March 1998 "Stuffed Revisited" edition of the Journal of Stuffed Studies, "the finances of the NSGCC are not at all consistent with those which one might expect of a grassroots stuffed organization. It is clear to any historian who has examined the subject that the NSGCC was receiving extensive funding from somewhere." Additionally, there are mysterious references in a number of interviews with NSGCC members to strange human figures who wielded considerable power behind the scenes.
Rumors like these have aroused considerable excitement. Some, like Dmitri Smithson, have taken the stand that the NSGCC was actually being run by the "Human Henchmen," a paramilitary organization based in either Wisconsin or Delaware (in one of his more creative passages, Smithson contends that these two states may actually occupy the same geographic space) intended to destroy the United Nations. Others, most importantly Red the Parrot and Ilissa Rimb, have suggested that in fact the mysterious human influence behind the scenes was that of Dimney executives, who were trying to use the NSGCC to destroy the SGC. Barksalot, however, claims that in fact these memories are what psychologists call "false memories," the result of hypnosis, and what we should be wondering about is whether or not the hypnosis was performed by the military-CIA-telephone company complex, or by Russian spies.
So far, the controversy continues to rage among historians of the stuffed movement. Pombo herimself continues, needless to say, to insist that these human figures never existed, and that the NSGCC was exactly what it appeared to be, despite all evidence to the contrary.

Editor's Note: This letter is contained in Pombo's This Monster.

**Somewhat curiously, so far at least, no one has found any evidence besides this reference that there actually was an SGC constitution. Most believe that this document exists, though Smithson argues that in fact Pombo was the only one who knew about its existence, since it was part of heris plot to place the SGC firmly under the control of the Dimney Corporation, and thus complete Dimney executives' plan for domination over the grassroots movement of the stuffed.

17. Memorandum, From Louise to Flitcraft ("Pombo" Memo)

To: Flitcraft Manatee
From: Louise Puppy
Date: October 21
Re: NSGCC Difficulties

Please be advised of the existence of this caucus. While I am convinced that it is still a very small group, I am very concerned about our future unless something is done about its recent successes. While I realize, of course, that your association with Lucinda has resulted in huge gains for the Small Appliances Division, which is of course one of the most logical routes to take considering our present Terrorist Organization status, I believe that Pombo Monster is now a force to be reckoned with in our organization, and if it is at all possible, I would strongly recommend that you and Lucinda spend a little less time together.*

Sincerely,

Louise Puppy
Chairanimal
Stuffed Giraffe Coalition

*Scholars are not entirely certain what Louise Puppy was trying to indicate here. It is believed that heshe was an extremely intelligent stuffed animal, and it is therefore likely that heshe was aware that Lucinda and Flitcraft already had far more than a mere business relationship by this time. Most historians have assumed that the emphasis here on the business side of their relationship is pure tact on Louise's part, and I see no reason to disagree with this claim.

18. "Come, Pombo Monster!" From Flitcraft: A Musical Journey

FLITCRAFT

And so the darkness now descends upon this act of our great mission
Must I give up my one love to realize our wond'rous vision?
Shall we not again embrace? Shall Lucinda be lost forever?
Won't they let me state my case? Will I be silenced here? Never!
Come, Pombo Monster--Let's fight this out fair!
We'll see what you're made of--cotton stuffing or horsehair!
I won't let Lucinda be lost to me--Pombo, you must fight me first!
Lucinda wants to marry me--let Pombo do hiser worst!
No--the darkness won't descend upon this act of our great mission!
I'll never give up my love to realize our wond'rous vision!
Lucinda and I shall again embrace! Heshe'll never be lost forever!
I will have herim for my own! Now, now, or never!

Editor's Note: Flitcraft: The Musical was written by Flitcraft's long-time confidante and friend, Sophie "Boston" Lobster, and, while it is probably not a wholly accurate depiction of Flitcraft's life, it is the closest thing we have to an indication of the thoughts which went through hiser head after receiving Louise Puppy's famous "Pombo Memorandum," reprinted above as Document 17.

19. Memorandum, From Flitcraft to Louise ("Resignation" Memo)

To: Louise Puppy
From: Flitcraft Manatee
Date: November 1
Re: Resignation

In view of our recent discussion* and in order to preserve a sense of unity among the SGC, I hereby resign as President of the Stuffed Giraffe Coalition. It has been one of the greatest experiences of my life, and I think you for allowing me to be a part of this movement.

I remain convinced that the SGC will forever be remembered as one of the great movements of stuffed animals, and wish you and the Coalition both the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Flitcraft Manatee

*Though this discussion has resulted in much speculation, no scholar is quite certain either when or where it took place, or what exactly was said. While Rimb's declaration that it took place over a game of checkers and three key-lime pies is interesting, this claim appears to have no documentation.

Editor's Note: This memorandum is available in the Lucinda-Flitcraft Collection, Monkeyshines Archives, Monkeyshines, Alaska

20. Editorial from The Daily Babbler, November 5

There has been much speculation recently on whether or not the so-called "New Stuffed Giraffe Coalition Caucus" (NSGCC) is a genuinely new organization, or a mere continuation of the old days of coercion, disruption, disorder, and rioting.

We at the Babbler sincerely hope that the NSGCC is dedicated, as it states, to "channeling the rightful demands of stuffed animals into appropriate channels, such as recognizing the contributions of the stuffed to today's multi-cultural, multi-racial, and multi-stuffing society."

However, we know that, if this is the case, the NSGCC has its work cut out for it. The city, the state, and indeed the nation as a whole have been shaken to their very core by previous leaders of the SGC, and if the NSGCC is truly dedicated to creating a new direction for the stuffed movement, then we hope that they will understand the public's hesitation to accept their good intentions.

To the NSGCC leaders, we say, "We will watch your future. And, if we cannot forget the past, we can at least forgive it."

We wish them the best of luck in their search for new directions, and we hope that all New Yorkers, stuffed and unstuffed alike, will join us in hoping that the future of the city will be a peaceful one, free of the numerous civil disturbances which stuffed animals have created over the last year.

Editor's Note: The Daily Babbler's reportage on the SGC won several awards, including one for best Editorial writing. There is now a grass-roots movement to lock up the awards committee for taking bribes, which is only slightly hampered by lack of direct evidence.

All right. NOW I'm ready to go back...

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