| WE ALL KNOW MICROWAVES RULE... |
| But Why? |
| There Are Lots of Reasons!!!! |
| � They prevent cancer. Cancer�s just like anything else�you need to build up immunity to it over time. And by exposing us to cancer-causing agents every day, microwaves will eventually guarantee that none of us will ever have to worry about cancer again! � Hermits love them! We know what you�re thinking. �Hermits? Those guys don�t love anything!� But they love their microwaves. Listen what Hank Marner, the great-great-grandson of Silas, has to say: �With my microwave, I can go for days without seeing another living soul. No matter how long something�s been in the freezer, it always tastes the same after it comes out of the microwave.� � Great for society. Think of all those centuries people have just accepted the definition of the word �food.� But now that definition is being challenged, expanded, and reconsidered. Critical thinking is at an all-time high! Well-done, microwaves! � Bad for fires. That�s right. House fires have declined .01% per American citizen since the invention of the microwave. Coincidence? We think not. |
| No question about it, microwaves rule. You know it. We know it. Even Hank Marner knows it. |