Shash awoke well before sunrise. She had been peacefully asleep, dreaming of her husband�s touches from the night before. Her bronze flesh tingled with the sensation of recent caresses. She took a deep breath; the air was cold and crisp, with a sense of bitterness. Like a forgotten lover longing for lost memories, the night was harsh and uncomfortable.
For over a year now, Shash had been trying to conceive a child, a child for her husband, Varun; but also a child for herself. She had felt a deep need within her soul to feel life within her belly. The strongest desire she had ever contemplated.
Rising out of bed, she brushed away the Sudra servant who was always by her bedside. Like an annoying lap dog, the constant follower was rather bothersome to this Brahmin wife. As a young girl, Shash lived with her nomadic father, where she had not been constantly bothered by attendants. They would travel far to the south towards the coast in the hot summers and north towards the jungles for the winters. Back then she had felt free, like she could do anything.
These lands inhabited by the Vedic people had once been scattered with many nomadic tribes. Over the last few hundred years, many had set up households and began the great industry of agriculture, growing rice, cotton, wheat, sugarcane and tea plants. This had brought much wealth upon quite a few people, especially the Brahmin class. Varun�s grandfather was one who had a long familial legacy and a large amount of lands. Because of this, Shash�s father bargained for his daughters� marriage to the wealthy Brahmin. Varun had become head of the lands soon after they were married, being also a Brahmin of the temple. Now, Shash felt the pressure to do her wifely duty and bear him an heir. She knew he wished for one, and she herself wished for one also. But, for some reason, the gods had not blessed her with one yet.
�But, mistress,� pleaded the loyal sudra, �The sir will not be pleased if you go out, at least not alone. Let me fetch a guardsman to accompany you.�
Before the girl could open the hide door, Shash placed her hand on her shoulder. �Please,� she asked quietly, �You don�t need to do that.�
�But, the sir has ordered.�
�But,� snapped Shash, �the sir does not order me.� She quickly grabbed the closest sari and draped it across her shoulders, leaving through the door before the young girl could answer her. Shash knew what she had said was mostly a lie, but it felt good to say it anyway.
Shash and Varun had been married for almost two years now. Shash knew he loved her, even if he did not show it all the time. Shash also knew that he treated her with more respect that many other wives received or even expected. Being a male-driven society Shash was merely his property. She had not felt such strong feelings towards female obedience in the nomadic tribe, but after living here, the other males had tried to tell her how she should behave. Young and proud Varun was feeling protective and told them that his new wife could behave how she chose. Of course, this was not completely true, certain things were expected of her; for example, being a good hostess and keeping the household running smoothly were very important. Shash did not mind these tasks, but she preferred the lazy days when she and Varun could be together, alone, all day. For when they were alone together he treated her very kindly, and she had grown to love him. Unfortunately, recently she had found herself hosting many ritual parties, and Varun was kept busy with his duties. Before last night they had not been together for almost an entire moon cycle. Shash was beginning to miss him and wished they did not have so many obligations.
Feeling trapped in her roles, Shash often yearned for the wilderness again, away from the constant people and noise. She found her solace in silence with the moon. Moonlight was the meaning of her name, and she would love to dwell forever in the place of moonlight. If only she could.
On evenings when she could not sleep, she often went to an outdoor temple in the woods, dedicated to the moon-god Chandra. There she would meditate and pray. The temple was far enough away from houses and stables to be quiet and still. As still and quiet as the nights could be with any number of passing creatures, such as the hoofed cheetal and chinkara, small hares and pikas, or the beastly jungle cats and sloth bears. A small stream ran along the northern side of the clearing, bubbling along splashing crystal shards against a jungle of small rocks. Directly across from the entrance to the temple clearing was an old stone slab that held as an altar. This is where people could place foods and trinkets for the gods, in hopes of their listening to your prayers and wishes. On this altar there was a limestone bust of Chandra, the moon god. His long slender arms were held out as in waiting for an embrace, with a carved lotus flower in each palm.
On this night Shash felt an awkward sense of awe and foreboding. Wearing a simple sari of green, Shash had not bothered putting her hair up, as was usual tradition if she were to leave the main house. It hung long and dark upon her back, keeping her somewhat protected from the cold. As she reached the temple clearing, she felt warmth spreading from her feet upward, as though a fire were burning beneath the ground.
Shash walked slowly to the altar, wondering how to word her deep longing for a child. As she neared the huge stone slab, she fell upon her knees and silently spoke her plea. The darkness that had been surrounding her seemed to dissipate before the altar, with the moonlight falling down on her like a sheer veil.
�Oh, Brahma the creator god,� she whispered. �Oh, Chandra, god of the moon, my essence. Oh, Aditi, mother of gods. Grant me my wish. Give me the child my heart yearns for.� Shash tried to relax her body and feel her deep seeded feeling of yearning and wanting. She tried to embrace that feeling and cradle it as a child in her arms. To feel the need become truth.
Shash fell back upon the ground, into a comfortable seated position, with her legs crossed. Her breathe was steady and rhythmic like a heavy rain beating on a leather shelter in an open field. Ready to wait for as long as necessary, just being out here in the woods was comforting. She could, and had before, sat there for hours. Dreams and fantasies would cross her path and make her feel somewhat satisfied. As she meditated, she felt a presence. A benign presence, nothing to be feared. She waited to open her eyes, assuming it was a passing creature or restless spirit.
The feeling did not go away, so she slowly opened her eyes. The clearing was brighter than she had last remembered, and her eyes took a moment to adjust. After a moment she looked around and then saw him.
Shash knew he was an immortal upon first sight. His hair was light, like the ancient Aryans. He was taller than anyone she had ever seen, and his body was densely muscled. His shirt had been lost somewhere along his travels and his chest was rigid with the cold. His eyes were a dark, brilliant blue, like the deep seas or the full moon. Moon, the thought lingered in her mind. Lingering on her tongue.
She rose slowly from the ground and took three steps closer to the strange man. Not wishing to go closer, he looked at her with an intense gaze.
�Are you a god?� she slowly asked. He did not reply. �Are you Chandra?� he nodded slowly. �Are you here to give me my child?� she questioned, hopeful. Her hand reached down and touched her womb.
The man looked around the clearing and seemed to be searching for something. When his gaze returned to her, he seemed to have relinquished his search for whatever he was looking for. His bright eyes blazed with an inner fire that seemed so powerful as to burn her. Suddenly he reached out his arm and grabbed Shash around the waist, bringing her body against his.
His touch was gentle, yet strong. Shash�s mind told her to resist, thinking of Varun and the mortal sin she was embarking on, and yet her heart and soul told her to bend to his will and let her body be his. The need to have a child burned deep within her, and at the moment of his kiss, it burned up threatening to torch her body. His kiss was gentle and nourishing. Quite the opposite of how she expected it, she wasn�t sure what she expected, but this was not it. He tasted of cloves and a foreign spice she did not recognize.
His strong hands reached around and caressed her back as she clung to his kisses. His touch created a feeling of release in her tense body, yet it caused her much more yearning. She felt the need to take his soul and body and make it her own. She wanted nothing more than to be lying with this man for eternity. He was not that much different than Varun, but she felt something more in this man. She realized at this moment that there was something missing with Varun, perhaps it was pure unconditional love or simply adoration. Suddenly she found herself upon a bed of soft ferns, with his great body towering over her.
He cupped her breast and she felt a tingling she had never felt before. She had lain with her husband many times and sometimes even enjoyed it. This was completely different. It was like joining herself with a power beyond humanity. It was as though she had touched a piece of heaven and taken it into herself. As the power culminated within her, she arched her back and felt as though she would explode. As a nova starburst, she fell into a quiet oblivion of peace and nothingness.
Later, as she opened her eyes, she realized a considerable amount of time had passed. Looking around, she saw the altar across the clearing, with a single lotus flower that had not been there earlier. The white petals curled in the wind and the scent of its pollen reached where Shash and her lover lay. Her mind began to think of Varun, why could her love with him not be like with this man? Then she began to wonder what would happen to her if he found out about her betrayal tonight. At the least he would send her back to her father disgraced, possibly outcaste or even death. She refused to think of it, concentrating on the petals, trying not to think of anything at all.
The godly man lay, braced on one arm, beside her, searching her face. �You are beautiful.� he said quietly.
Shash turned toward him, wiggling onto her side. �No more beautiful than any other woman.�
�Oh, but you are more beautiful.� he replied. �You are a goddess.� His hand touched her waist, brushing off random grass strands that had embedded in her skin.
Shash blushed with the compliment. �Only because you are a god, perhaps you see me in such a way.�
The man chuckled, amused at the modesty this woman was showing. �If you wish.� His voice was deep and soothing, like the deep sweet sound of a brook or the wind blowing in the thick trees, reminding Shash of a long ago forgotten dream.
They laid together looking up into the trees that sheltered them, peeking into the slight openings showing the bright blue sky. The forest around them was quiet, as if the animals were not yet awake hunting for their breakfast. �Come away with me,� the man spoke into Shash�s ear.
�You felt what I felt. We belong together,� he urged her, looking into her eyes. She looked deep into his eyes, knowing he felt it too. There was something special about him, about this moment. She had felt it, and knew she dreaded living without it. They did belong together, perhaps in some other world though.
�Yes.� she said, nestling closer into his arms. His strong embrace made her feel like she could do anything, as long as he was near. She exhaled deeply and closed her eyes, as he held her tight.
The essence of cloves was strong around her, and she felt the man's heavy breathing upon her chest. She peered into his strong face and saw a serene expression of joy, his eyes closed with his lips in a slight curl like a mischievous cat. Reaching out, she tucked a lock of curly golden hair behind his ear. His eyes opened and once again gazed into hers. She felt her insides begin to melt and a smile crept upon her face. No words needed to be spoken. The feeling of connection the two had felt continued into these awkward moments. They were one in the same soul now, and forever. No names, no titles, and no wealth were needed. Their lives were forever bound.
As the birds began to sing the morning to life, Shash began to stir, realizing that soon she would be missed at home. She opened her eyes, and she sat up abruptly. The man she shared her soul with was gone. She looked around and he was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he was a god sent by her wishes, perhaps it was just another dream or fantasy. She began to pull the grass and twigs that had become entwined in her dark hair, knowing that whatever the truth, she was swept back into the real world with her duties. That was where she belonged, with her husband. In a way she loved Varun, although now she knew that he was not her true soul mate. Unfortunately knowing this truth could not change anything in her life. Now that the apparition of the man was gone, she would have to return to her life.
As she slowly emerged from the temple, she wrapped her sari around her left shoulder. Shash reached to touch her necklace; it held a single pearl like a drop of frozen water that hovered above her chest. It was a wedding gift from Varun that she cherished very dearly. The pearl was a gem dedicated to the god Chandra, and Shash had not taken off the necklace since it had been placed there by the overlarge, strong hands of Varun himself. As she touched the gold chain, her heart began to beat faster; she realized the pearl and its setting were missing. She glanced around where she stood and around the temple; the gem was nowhere to be seen. With a heavier heart, she headed for home, knowing the pearl was now an offering to the gods in the forest temple.
The sun had now reached high enough to bathe light upon the ground. As she left the woods and wilderness, a red tint fell over everything. She looked up and saw that the moon to the west had gone completely red, like blood had covered the surface of this great disc in the sky. Shash hoped this eclipse would be a good omen, not bad like the priests liked to commonly think. The moon returned to its normal dark blue shade a few moments later, and Shash continued on her way. In her heart she sang a melodic song and hoped for new lives to come of this omen, although she felt a strange sadness. She realized it did not truly matter what she wanted, for the gods had their own plans, and she was trapped by their will, as she had been taught and believed by the traditions of the Vedic people. But she remembered fondly the man who said he was an avatar of the moon god Chandra.
Sadly, it would not be until ten years passed, Shash would realize the truth that her spirited man was real, a Persian soldier scouting for his troops. He did not understand a single word of the Vedic language, nor did she speak his language, but they had somehow conversed with each other. Nor did she know that her twin children would be the ones to suffer from that morning of godly lust.