The time of another pain
seeing everywhere memories
of him.
Can't eat, can't sleep
afraid of dreaming of him.
Wanting closure so much
or being back with him
Feeling drained, sick to death
wanting to die but hopes keeps
me alive.
Helpful friends always there
so grateful to them all.
But wanting most
is an answer to my queries
as to why
and how come
and did you ever really love me?
Wanting so much to hear him again
to hear his laugh and his words
of love
Wanting to be back in that
world even if imaginary.
Wanting it back, feeling the tears
rise forth to overcome
any other emotion I may have besides
sorrow. Emphisizing it.
In my heart I believed so much
For I had blind faith.
Still hopeful to this day
Wishing him nothing but happiness
and safety.
Knowing one day, perhaps I'll hear from him again.
Hope.
Faith.
Love.
Trust...
has to be earned.
Sitting here in the candlight
my thoughts are yours.
Hoping and wishing I was
next to you.
Praying I was anywhere with
you but here.
Fighting resides in this house
tonight.
Pain and abuse reign
as rulers.
Keeping my heart touched on
you throughout the endurment
I take it in stride.
Everything is bearable
along with you.
Tears rise from my eyes and trickle down
my cheeks as the torture
continues.
But all they are ~~ are words.
Cutting deep, leaving always
open scars.
My mind tries to
block the onslaught of phrses
demeaning myself further down
the path of humanity.
wanting so much to reach out and
squeeze out the life of the one doing this
to me.
Yet i cannot.
I owe my life to the
one making me hurt.
The laughter begins~
a deep insane chuckling
coming from pure glee in wake
of my weeping and sorrow.
The candles flicker
as a powerful force controls
them.
I know I shall be free
from torment soon.
With this I smile
crushing her and
all of her accomplishments.
She crumples to the floor
crying; her heart broken
knowing she should have done something different.
More understanding
more love, perhaps?
I leave her there still
lying in her own wailings
with you next to me
guiding me towards freedom.
So begins the next
chapter of my life.
I raise my glass to the past and
look towards the future,
what was done is dead and what is
to come will be born
the heart knows all in its own little
way and the head follows as a backseat driver.
To a those we meet and to all those
we keep on in our lives...this is
for you...
I raise my glass again and this
time I drink for the time is present
and waste not what you will regret
later on. Live fully and do all in your
power to change things forthe better.
And always, always follow your heart.
Put the head in the trunk and turn the
radio up loud.