Rating: GS
Disclaimer: Not mine...never will be, but I wish I owned DJE.
Spoilers: "The Four Percent Solution"
Summary: What will happen next?
Notes: Sorry for any mistakes.
Archive: Just ask, please.
Two Days Later
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
23:30 Hours
"Mac will you stop acting like a kid?" He stated in a strong voice as he leaned toward her to apply the ointment they had given her for the bruise on her face.
"Harm, I can do it myself." She tried to squirm away from him.
"I know you can, but I want to help. Besides, the doctor told you that he would release you only if you behaved on my watch." He gently pulled her left arm in attempt to get her closer.
"I only agreed so he would let me out." She smiled devilishly at him.
Harm stopped trying to get her near to him. He dropped the ointment tube on the night stand next to him and clutched at his heart. He pretended to be in pain and fell back to land on the floor.
"Harm quit it." She chuckled.
"You wound me marine. Here I thought you actually wanted me to take care of you. But no, that's not it. You only wanted to escape the confines of your hospital room. That hurts." He got up and got on his knees next to the bed.
"Can you blame me?" She teased.
Harm only stared up at her with both hands under his chin. No matter how battered or bruised her face might be, to Harm, Mac would always be as beautiful and as radiant as ever.
"I'm glad you're here." He knitted his eyebrows together thinking back to another time her had told her the exact same thing.
"I'm glad I'm here, too." She pulled one of his hands from under his chin and into hers.
"Ok. Then let me help." He reached for the tube again.
"No! Harm, I feel like a little kid." She squirmed again.
"Aha, and is that why you are acting like one? Stay still." He captured her at the waist and pulled her to him.
"Harm!" He held onto her face lightly with one hand as he tried to apply the gel on her face with the other.
"Mac, stop it. You are a mature woman. Should I mention that you are also a marine?" Mission accomplished. She stopped moving in his arms and let him apply the stuff on her face.
"You're lucky I'm too tired to run." She stated as Harm finished his chore.
"I would catch you anyway. Now, do you want anything before I put you to bed?"
Mac couldn't get passed that simple question. She knew it was only a decent query made by Harm, but her mind, all giddy and teenage-like, was responding in other ways. She laughed. "What? Right now? I'm too tired."
He was stumped. What the heck was she talking about? Oh, wait. "What...no, Mac that's not what I meant. `Or did I?' I mean not that I don't want to. `Man I want to.' I mean it's just that I... `Sound like a complete idiot.'"
"Shut up Harm. I was only joking. You're funny." She pulled the covers higher to tuck her body under them.
Everything was going to be ok. Right at that moment Harm knew it would be ok. He had been further convinced at the hospital while he held onto Mac's hand, but there was always a little part of him that never allowed him to completely lower the walls around his heart when it came to her. It wasn't because he was afraid that she would reject him or hurt him, he had gotten used to the fact that sometimes heartaches were worth the love that longed to be shared, but because he was afraid of saying the wrong things and hurting her. He was afraid of losing her. He knew he could not go on in life without Mac. Once he met her he knew she would be an important part of his life. Almost as important as the air he breathed. That is precisely why before their friendship became stressed and uncomfortable, he had been willing to throw everything away for her.
He would give his life for her, he was sure of that. And that's why finally, now that Mac was opening up to him again, he would risk everything again. Should she reject him it would not be the first time, and surely not the last because he would keep trying until she accepted the fact that their love was greater than anything in this world.
`Stared too long while deep in thought.' Harm thought to himself. He smiled at her to let her know that he got her joke loud and clear.
"Ok then, you have to rest. I'll see you in the morning." He finished tucking her in and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Fine." She pouted.
"Don't whine. Now go to sleep. Wake me up if you need anything. Goodnight." He turned to head into the living room where he was doomed to sleep on the couch. However, it was a small price to pay to have Mac safe and in his life.
"Hey, Harm" She stopped him as she grabbed his wrist.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"You're welcome Sarah."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
December 28, 2004
Harm's Apartment
18:00 Hours
It had been four days since her accident and they had both spent more time together than they had in the last year. It was beginning to feel a lot like the old times. The times when they could go to each other for help without hesitating. Or when they could drop by each other's place just for fun without any reason, logic or excuse to do so. It was something they both missed.
"Harm I need to pick up some more clothes." She sat next to him on the couch.
"I'll pick it up for you. What do you need?"
"Harm, it's been four days, I'm ok now. I can drive myself."
"Nope. The doctor said a week Mac."
"Harm?" She opened her mouth to protest.
"Mac, just humor me alright. I like doing things for you." He smiled his famous grin at her.
"I like you doing things for me, too, but I want to do some stuff on my own now. I'm up to it." She laced her fingers with his and gave him a `puppy face' look. "Please."
How could he say no to that face? It was going to kill him one of these days. She had been using it on him for sometime now. When ever he had to apply the ointment on her bruise, which was practically gone now, she would place that same look on him.
"Alright. You're a big girl." He teased.
"See. I knew you'd come to your senses eventually." She kissed his cheek before grabbing the keys to his Lexus.
Harm couldn't help the huge smile that pulled at his lips. It was impossible to deny what he felt for her any longer. Watching her, being around her, and sharing his life with her the past few days only helped to strengthen the love he thought he had lost for this woman.
Mac's Apartment
Georgetown
She had packed her seabag tighter than she intended, but her mind was running wild as she stuffed clothes in. She was very happy, happier than she had been in a long time. Ever since her accident she had began to see things from a better perspective. She had begun to look forward to each day and each night that approached. Was it because every day and every night she was with Harm? `Yes, I think that's it.' She thought with a smile in place.
She finished her job and headed out. Once she had settled her belongings in the Lexus, she dialed the familiar number.
"Hello." Harm answered on the other end.
"Hey sailor."
"Mac are you ok? Where are you?"
"Ok, relax. I'm on my way to your place already." She chuckled. "Hey, I'm hungry."
"I should have known that's why you called." He teased her.
"Why else?" She followed along.
"So, what do you want to eat? You want to go out?"
"Um?no. How about you cook for me."
"Ok. What is your stomach up to?"
"I'm guessing any meat is out of the question?"
"Nope. You name it." He smiled to himself as he felt the rush of joy filling his heart. He was going to take care of her while she let him.
"Really? Wow, never thought I'd see the day."
"Funny."
"Ok. How about some steak, mashed potatoes, broccoli..."
"Ok. Slow down." He laughed. "I'll have to go pick some stuff up, so I probably won't be here when you get back."
"Alright."
"Just be careful and don't drive too fast."
"Ok, Harm. I will."
"You will what?"
"Never mind. Just hurry with my dinner." She smiled.
"Yes your highness."
"See you."
"Bye."
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
22:45 Hours
They had shared a great meal with some talk about nothing in particular. They simply enjoyed the time they were spending with each other. It was a good feeling that soared through their hearts when they were around the other. `Just like old times' Harm thought.
"Wow. The food was great Harm. Thank you." She assisted Harm with the dishes.
"You're welcome." He smiled as he dried the plates that were handed to him.
"I can't believe you ate dead cow. That's got to be a first."
"Um...no not really. I haven't been a vegetarian all of my life you know. I ate dead animal when I was younger. It was only until I was old enough to know what that crap did to you that I stopped consuming it."
"What changed you mind?"
He paused. The words he had formed in his brain seemed to lame for him to formulate them into verbal sounds, but he tried it anyway. "You did." Were his only words.
"Wow. That's the sweetest thing a guy has ever done for me." She said sarcastically.
"It wasn't easy you know. I haven't done that for anybody else."
"Only with me?"
"Only with you."
And so the staring game began. Neither moved for what seemed to be hours, but in fact turned out to be more like five minutes. The tension was so thick that they could take a bite out of it if they had wanted to. It was becoming unbearable standing there a foot away from each other not being able to grab, kiss, or hold onto each other.
They inched closer and closer wanting to feel what had been buried deep in their hearts. They wanted to love. When they were merely inches apart, Harm stopped in his tracks.
"Mac, I can't. It wouldn't be right without telling you everything that I have to say to you. There's so much I need to get out in the open. There's that conversation that we have manage to table for years now. I don't want to start something without clearing up things between us." His eyes showed the obvious regret for being the one to put a hamper on things.
"Sure. Anyways, I'm getting kind of tired. How about we discuss this later ok." She turned away from him as she headed to his bedroom.
"Mac...wait. Mac, please don't get mad. Sarah." He stood there defeated and shoulders slumped as he watched her walk away. "Always, Rabb. Always."
December 31, 2004
Vietnam Veterans Memorial
22:35 Hours
He walked with some heaviness in his step. Things had been going so well until the other night when he ended the almost kiss between Mac and him. `How can you end something that hadn't even started?' He asked himself as he walked towards his destination. `Only you could pull a move like that.' He scolded himself for it
Things hadn't gotten much better between them, but they hadn't gotten any worse, so that was a start. Mac had gone to bed that day, but hadn't stayed there the following day. Harm awoke to find his bed cold and made with no sign of the woman who had slept in it the night before. No goodbye, no note, no thing. Great.
That had been three days ago and they still hadn't spoken since then. Harm had tried to reach her at her place, but did so to no avail. He tried her cell phone many times, but only got her good friend the voice mail. There was only one option left, but he didn't want to do it. He figured she wanted some time, so he wouldn't bother her by going to her apartment and knocking endlessly just to get the cold shoulder. No way.
He stopped in front of the massive black wall before him. He spotted his father's name and traced it with his index finger.
"Hey dad. Sorry I didn't come on Christmas Eve this year, but Mac had an accident. I'm sure you'll understand. I just wanted to be there for her." He paused. "Dad I'm having some trouble trying to figure this one out. She's been the one constant in my life and yet I can't seem to get it right when it comes down to a relationship. I always manage to put my foot in my mouth at the most inconvenient times. I just don't know what to do dad. I want her in my life so badly that it hurts to not hold her in my arms. What should I do?" He traced his dad's name again. "Thanks for listening dad. I have to go now. Happy New Years dad." He walked to his car determined to do the only thing he could. Get his Sarah back.
Mac's Apartment
Georgetown
23:15 Hours
Mac sat on her couch watching the Dick Clark's New Years Party. Just what a girl dreamed of...a pint of chocolate ice cream, a nice warm blanket, and her good pal the television to ring in the New Year.
Had she been foolish or rash walking out on Harm without saying anything? After all he had been trying to move things forward the right way. But hadn't they wasted too much time trying to talk? Why couldn't they just act for once? She hadn't answered his calls despite the fact that he had left over fifteen messages. She hadn't even answered her phone even though her voice mail was full to its maximum capacity. `Why do I always stop him when he's trying to move forward?' She questioned herself. But before she was able to get an answer, there was a knock on her door. She knew instantly who it would be, but somehow she wanted it to be him, she needed it to be him.
"Hey." Harm managed to get out.
"Hi."
"Can I come in?"
"Ah, yeah sure. Come on in." She stepped aside as he walked in. She managed to catch a glimpse of something that he held behind his back.
"These are for you." He handed her a bouquet of beautiful flowers. "And this is for us." He showed her the apple cider that he held in his left hand.
She couldn't speak for a while after accepting the flowers that he handed to her. She simply managed to give him a watery smile.
"I've been trying to get a hold of you the past few days." He stood rooted in place as she placed the bouquet in a vase and in the center of her dining table.
"I know. I'm sorry."
"I was just trying to apologize for what happened the other night." He sat on her sofa as she sat next to him.
"You don't have to apologize. I was the one who walked away, again. I'm the one who should be sorry."
"No, Mac. I always seem to stall when ever we get close to something."
"It doesn't matter whose fault it is." She hesitated to say the next words. "I promised myself that I would never push you away again, and I did."
"Mac, I just wanted to talk so we could get everything out of the way and behind us. You know, we should start off fresh."
"Ok. I'm here now. I won't walk away. I promise."
Harm adjusted himself to face her and take her hands in his. "Sarah, you have been the only person in my life who has seen every side of me there is...except one, and I regret not showing you long ago. I never allowed myself to show you the side of me that loves you more that a partner, more than a best friend, more than anything. I regret not being the man to give you happiness all of these years that we have known each other." He looked down to their joined hands. "Before everything became so jumbled and stressed between us, when I went to find you in Paraguay, I was going to show that side, finally. I had gathered enough courage to damn all regulations and all of my fears just to show you that I was ready to move us forward."
"Harm?" She tried to interrupt, but she was silenced by a gentle finger to her lips.
"I know I was an idiot for waiting so long. I knew the moment I saw you kiss Clay that it was already too late and I hated myself for it. I hated him for it, and I even hated you for it." Mac shifted uncomfortably. "I hated that you were so quick to go to him without even noticing what I had done for you. It seems foolish, I know, but it's the truth. And then everything else that followed was just about the worst sequence of events in my life. Up until the time when we learned of Clay's supposed death. I know you thought I was being inconsiderate, but I did feel for the guy. As I told you before. But I was willing to get passed that to have you. I tried helping you through that, through your condition, but you only kept pushing me away. And even though I know you did it to have space and thinking time, it hurt like hell. Knowing that you needed comfort, but being unable to do so because I wanted to respect your wishes. Only until after your accident did I know that I had to do something about us. I wanted to waste no more time because I needed you. I love you, Mac. I do. With all my heart, but I can't do this alone. I need you to be there with me. I need you to be on the same page with me, for once. We're always in the same book, but always manage to find ourselves in different chapters. I want to change that. Please, just give me one more chance to see where we can go. Give me one more opportunity to show you that I am willing to give everything away for you." He stopped hoping that Mac would jump in anytime.
"It's hard to believe that we are finally here having this conversation." She smiled. "You know, they say things happen for a reason. I never truly believed that until I had my accident. It wasn't until I was unconscious and having dreams of things passed and things I had to get over that I truly understood that."
"What dreams?" Harm asked puzzled.
"I had dreams or visions of a therapy session I had with Dr. McCool. We talked about everything that was bothering me and making me so angry."
"Your condition?"
"That among other things. We talked about Webb and his lying to me. You and me."
"What about you and me?"
"How we never seem to get it right. Why I think I haven't found that guy I want to spend my life with. The guy to be the father of my children."
"Why haven't you?"
"Because I found him long time ago. I just wasn't looking carefully. I didn't realize that he was right in front of me all of this time. Harm, I love you. More than you'll ever know, but I have to know one thing."
"What?"
"Are you and Alicia together? I mean, when I went to talk to you a few months ago you seemed to be close. I know I haven't seen her at your place or even heard of her calling, but I just have to know."
"I wouldn't be here telling you I love you if I was. But something tells me that that's not what you're asking me."
She looked guilty. A hopeful smile in place. "No it isn't."
"Mac, I never slept with her. I couldn't even if it had come up."
"Why not?"
"Because despite what you think, I have never stopped loving you. I never lost interest in you. I was just lost for a while after you said "never" back in Paraguay.
"Oh, Harm. I'm so sorry. I just...I was..." She cried.
"Shh. I'm not blaming you. I should have grabbed you and kissed you senseless when I found you, but I didn't."
"Harm, can we leave all of that behind us and move on? I mean is it still possible for us to see where this leads?"
"I think we can. I'm willing to try if you are."
"I'm ready."
"Good." He smiled.
He leaned in closer to her only to realize that the countdown had started to ring out through the crowd on the television. He smiled as he turned to face her. She grabbed both sides of his face. They stared at each other as the countdown kept going.
`Five!'
`Four!'
`Three!'
`Two!'
`One!'
`Happy New Year!'
They leaned in closer as they heard the old familiar tune to bring in the New Year.
"This would be the time to kiss me senseless Commander Rabb."
"Is that an order?"
"Yes."
No more was said as he kissed her as she wished. The feel of his lips brushing hers was amazing. Senseless was an understatement. They finally pulled away after a long kiss... or many long kisses that they shared. They smiled at one another.
"Happy News years." They said to each other.
"You know, I've heard that whatever you are doing when the clock strikes twelve on New Years, that's what you will be doing a lot of that year." Harm stated in between kisses.
"Well, I could get used to it." She grinned against his mouth.
"I love you."
"I love you."
All was forgotten after that. Even the ice cream and the apple cider, but who needed those things when you had that special someone to hold onto and kiss?
~The End~
Happy New Years everybody!!! 2005, here we come.
