| So I find myself watching the super-deluxe collector's orgasm-inducing extended edition DVD of "The Lord Of The Rings" at my cousin's place the other night, when this chick I've never met before suddenly blurts out, "So is this movie based on a true story?". I shit you not. |
| A friend of mine (I won't mention any names, especially names like MAHAMBA), somehow caught an extremely rare virus a few years ago. The virus' symptoms included nausea, headache, muscle aches, congestion and vomiting shit and pissing out of your asshole. I couldn't even begin to make something like this up. His doctor informed him there was "fecal matter" in his vomit and "large amounts of urine" coming from his anus. The virus was actually highly contagious (his mom also caught this shit), so needless to say, I avoided his ass like he had the plague, which I suppose he really did to some degree. He ended up having to spend time in the hospital for this malady and was nearly ejected from the building for abusing his access to the Morphine drip and extreme abusive behavior towards the nursing staff. He did eventually recover and has not to my knowledge ever had a relapse. |
| A lot of people don't realize this, but when The Statue Of Liberty was first brought to The United States by the fine people of the country of France, her original name was "Cindy". |
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| I never seem to run into people who are really into drinking "Mr.Pibb". Who in the fuck drinks this shit? |
| After becoming aware of a line of women's under garments that vibrate as to give the women sexual pleasure anywhere they please, I have decided to invent a male boxer short masturbation unit which I shall call "Jack in the Box". Once I work out the logistics I am sure to quickly become a multi-millionaire. |
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| I'm a more than a little pissed off that we are now living in the 3rd year of the 21st century and nobody is driving flying cars. I don't know about you but when I was a kid, when thinking of 2003, I was only thinking one thing: FLYING FUCKING CARS MAN!!! I think the scientific community needs to get their heads out of their asses, quit worrying about curing diseases and making the ultimate tampon and get the American public into some FLYING FUCKING CARS!!! |
| There should be some serious consideration put into breeding some sort of bird-human hybrid. That would be pretty bitchin. Not only would these people ( or "peepirds" if you prefer) be able to fly around doing goofy shit, more importantly, they would be able to fuck like birds do. The whole flying really high up in the air, start fucking in a free-fall and then busting a nut and seperating inches from impacting the ground would be the poop diggity. It would probably save alot of marriages as well as it would add some flavor to the monotony of having the same boring sex with the same boring person all of the time. I suppose the only real drawbacks in being one of the peepirds ( or burple ) would be the whole egg laying thing and having to chew up worms and spitting them into your young ones' mouths. Never mind. Fuck a bunch of bird- people. |
| This is the Random Shit page so I though I might comment on something that amuses me concerning random shit. There is nothing I enjoy more than catching random snippets of random people's conversations. Sometimes you can catch some real gems. Example A: I was doing community service the other day when I catch a random comment from some kid who stated,"My Aunt Brenda's shaped like a pear." Example B: I stopped at some random Denny's with a group of friends coming back from a concert in Cincinatti when we randomly hear from the adjacent booth, "Well, did ya check it for radiation?" the reply was a very meekish, "No." I love the human race. Thinking about it I'm really not sure if I want to know what the rest of the conversations consisted of. The random snippets are funny enough. |