Sensory Pleasure
Part 29 - Everybodies changing
Karen H.

Scampering to pick my clothes off of the floor I hope Audrey didn't hear Dawson leave. She's bound to figure this out sooner or later, I only hope it's after Dawson has broken up with Jen; after we're ready to tell people we're dating.

I quickly find some pajamas and put them on, wondering what is taking Audrey so long. Straightening up the bed I hear her exit the bathroom.

"Joey?"

"Yeah."

"There's something I have to tell you." Audrey begins as she steps further into our room. "And I'm not sure if you're going to be mad or not and if you are I'm fully prepared for that, well maybe not fully prepared but well."

"Audrey?" I interrupt. "You're rambling."

"Sorry."

"What is it you have to tell me?" I ask as I sit down on my bed and she follows my cue and sits on hers.

"We're friends right?" She asks and I have no idea were she's going.

"Yeah." I reply confused.

"And friends are honest with one another, right?"

There must be confusion written all over my face and for a moment I start to wonder if she knows about Dawson and I and she's about to tell me she knows. Why is there a need to know if we're friends though? Oh right, maybe it's so I will entrust her with the secret.

"Audrey about…" I begin but she cuts me off. "There's no easy way for me to say this, so I'm just gonna say it." Audrey pauses, takes a deep breathe and blurts out. "I've been seeing Pacey."

"Huh?" Totally not what I thought she was going to say.

She continues. "I know you guys used to date but things just happened, it wasn't planned or anything. I wasn't sure how to tell you or how you'll react or how it'll change our friendship but I had to tell you because it's been killing me seeing you and knowing I'm sneaking around with your ex."

Audrey and Pacey? I would never have guessed, or maybe I should have guessed. They always seemed to disappear at the same times, now that I think about it.

"Say something."

"I...why would it change our friendship?"

"You guys used to date."

"There's a key word to that sentence, Audrey." I tell her, still surprised but glad she doesn't know about Dawson and me. "We used to date. I'm not his keeper, but I am grateful that you told me."

"That's it?"

"What did you expect?"

"More of a reaction." She shrugs her shoulders. "That you'd be mad."

I laugh lightly. "There's nothing to be mad about, whatever there was with Pacey is long gone."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah." I assure her.

She looks at me curiously. "You look different, why do you look different?"

I silently bite my lip. "How do I look different?"

"When I came in you were in your bathrobe and earlier Jack told me that he caught you in a rather compromising position with some guy or he assumed it was a guy."

"Audrey!"

"You had sex, didn't you? Not long before I came back."

"Maybe." I avert my eyes from hers. "Although I should tell you Jen and Jack think that I was with Pacey when Jack came in."

She starts to laugh. "Well I can tell them you weren't, I was with him."

"I thought you went home."

"No way, no changing the subject." She tells me. "Who was the guy? I never knew you were seeing someone, sneaky!"

"He was nobody Audrey."

"I want to know his name."

"Why?"

"Because I'm your friend and your roommate and I should know these things." She looks at me expectantly and I'm not sure what to tell her. "Well?"

"It's just a guy from my English Lit class."

"Just a guy, Joey Potter doesn't just do a guy." She thinks about it for a moment. "Okay, maybe she does but what is his name?"

"Darren." I blurt out, remembering the name of the guy that sits behind me. She only needs to be disillusioned for a little while, it's not like she'll go looking for the guy tomorrow. Or will she?

"What's he like?" She asks yawning.

"I'm not sharing those details Audrey."

"I meant as a person." She stifles another yawn.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, you can hardly keep your eyes open.

"Fine." She gives in. "Don't think I won't remember what we've to discussed."

And knowing Audrey she won't forget. I guess that explains why she's always been disappearing lately. She probably never even went to visit her parents.

Climbing under the comforter I bury my face in the pillow and there's a faint smell of Dawson.

I guess it's really happening. We're finally a couple after all this time.

Closing my eyes I can't help but feel sorry for him, that wasn't exactly the best way to send him off.

When will he get the chance to talk to Jen? Tonight, tomorrow, anytime soon? More importantly, will I be able to face her? Knowing what's been happening without any of them knowing.

Smiling I inhale his scent again, looking forward to the next time I see him.

At Grams house everything appeared to be still as I creep upstairs. As I make my way towards the attic where I've been sleeping since Grams took me in I hear voices in Jen's room.

Curiously I knock on the door before poking my head in, to find Jen and Jack talking. Jen is under the comforter and Jack is sitting at the foot of her bed.

"Hey." They both say turning to see me.

"Did Joey get home alright?" Jen asks and I feel a twinge of guilt as I enter the room.

"Yeah." I simply reply. She definitely got home alright, the last time I saw her she looked great. "We kind of got to talking for a while."

"So did she tell you?" Jack asks.

"Tell me what?"

"Who the guy was." Jen offers.

"What guy?" I ask with my best innocent voice.

"Oh that's right, you were in Capeside." Jack says before adding. "Yours truly caught Ms. Potter in a rather compromising position with some guy."

"Hey, it may have been a girl." Jen interjects laughing.

"We have reason to believe it's Pacey."

I start to laugh but they both look serious. "Pacey? Why would you think it was him?"

Jen shrugs and Jack replies, "Because Pacey was there, he told me he was there."

"He told you."

Jack shakes his head. "No, but he said he saw her."

I feel a little uneasy about the topic of conversation, more-so because I don't like the fact I know it's not true or that they're playing a guessing game. "If it were Pacey," I begin. "Do you think he would have placed himself at Joey's if he knew you guys knew there was someone there?"

"Ah, good point." Jack says, sounding somewhat defeated. "Anyways, I am going to go to bed."

"Night Jack." Jen and I say at the same time.

As Jack leaves the room and closes the door, I move towards the bed. I guess this is as good a time as any. I can't go on like this.

"Did you get your purse?" I ask, finally picking my spot near where she was sitting.

"Yeah." She replies after a moment.

There's no easy way to say this other than to just blurt it out. No point going for the 'we need to talk' because that just prolongs hurting her.

"This isn't working." I end up saying. Not exactly less hurtful but everything else in my head was just the same.

I wait for the questioning look, the 'what are you talking about' but it doesn't come.

"It isn't is it?" She replies not really expecting an answer and part of me is surprised that she agreed.

I guess neither of us has been happy for a while and the thought crosses my mind, what changed for her?

We've been dating for three months, yet this somehow doesn't have that 'break-up' feel.

"How long have you been thinking that for?" She asks, her eyes not wavering from mine.

"About a month." I sigh. "In the beginning we both needed someone." I begin and she nods agreeing.

"It felt right at the time."

"Yeah." I agree. "When did it change for you?"

"Just before I left for New York. I saw the way other couples looked at one another and just knew something was different." She smiles weakly. "We didn't have that."

"So what happens now?" I ask, already knowing.

"We go back to being friends." Jen replies. "But somehow I think this transition will be better than last time." She laughs when she finishes.

"Yeah." I agree. "But, I think it'd be best if I moved out."

"You know Grams won't agree with that."

"I know, but I think it'll make the transition to friends easier."

"It was good while it lasted."

"Well, for the first couple of months."

She laughs, squeezes my hand and I think we'll get through this.

"I'm going to go to bed now, but I'll tell Grams in the morning."

"Okay." She replies lying down. "Night Dawson."

"Goodnight Jen." I say before closing the door.

Walking up to my room I can't help but smile. In the end it wasn't as bad telling Jen as I expected it to be. Should I be surprised she feels the same way I do?

I think I'm more relieved that I haven't hurt her feelings, than the fact something wasn't right for her either.

As I remove my shirt I take my cell phone out of my pocket and notice there is an unread text message and recall putting the phone on silent earlier.

Reading the message I can't help but smile as it's from Joey.

"Is it strange that my bed seems empty without you? See you soon, J."