Sensory Pleasure
Part 26 - The Highwayman
Karen H.

"Hey Joey!" Audrey exclaims as she comes backstage, probably to get ready to sing her song soon. "Did you see who just saw your performance?" She doesn't even give me the chance to answer, and just rattles on. "Dawson! He never even knew we came here, that we did this. I can't believe you never told him."

"I just didn't think it was something that was newsworthy." I reply, my tone slightly on the defensive, why? I don't quite understand.

"I'll speak with ya in a few Joey, I think my bladder's gonna burst." She walks off shaking her head and muttering something about can't a guy tell the difference between water and lemonade.

As I'm about to emerge from backstage to meet the others I catch sight of something I'm not completely prepared for. Her lips had just grazed his and she laughs playfully and touches his nose.

I feel the need to gasp for breath, as though I'm suddenly suffocating. Watching them, watching her arm go around his waist. She leans her head against his arm and she smiles at him and he smiles back. It's all so familiar. The looks, the gestures and probably even the words they are saying to one another.

For a moment the disbelief takes over from the shock, how dare he! But then the jealousy starts to course through my veins again. How I always thought she was prettier than I was. Always thought he was so unattainable. Maybe that's how it should be; after all they've somehow found their way back to one another.

That insecurity that has always been there rushes back all so suddenly. What if I'm not good enough?

I shake my head a little, try and snap myself out of this…feeling, wondering if it'll be at all possible to make a quick getaway without them seeing. But the only way out of here is passed their table.

With my hands in the pocket of my jeans I begin to trudge over towards their table, but I spot what looks to me to be a quasi-intimate, flirty type moment between Jen and Dawson. Well judging by her movements, at least, because he kind of has his back to me. One of his elbows is propped on the table and he has his head slightly tilted to the side. She smiles up at him, that beaming smile of hers as she laces her fingers in his.

"Sickening, isn't it?" A familiar voice says from beside me as an arm goes around me. I turn to see that Pacey's eyes looking in the same direction mine was.

"Just a little." I spit back at him knowing too well how he'll soon be starting on how he can tell I have a thing for Dawson again. Was I always that transparent?

"It makes you wish you had that too, doesn't it?"

I open my mouth to reply but for some reason the words. "I don't wish I had Dawson" won't seem to form in my mouth, so instead I just glare at him.

"I never meant it in that capacity Joey." He rolls his eyes. "I've known you long enough to know that if it were the case you wouldn't admit it and least of all to me. What I meant was that it makes you wish you had someone."

"Yeah." I reply my voice quiet as I look back towards Dawson and Jen, both of whom have now turned to wave in my direction.

"Hey Joey!" Jen exclaims somewhat excited to see me. She seems too chirpy, I guess that's because she's now seeing Dawson again. "I tried calling you the other night, but I think you were probably at the library."

"Yeah." I agree with her not quite able to look either her or Dawson in the eye.

"I'll catch up with you in a second." She says before turning to Pacey. "You come with me, there's someone I need to introduce you to."

All of a sudden Dawson and I are alone in a room full of people, and all of a sudden I don't know exactly what to say.

"Joey, I didn't know you were going to be here or…"

"It's okay Dawson." I interrupt. "You weren't supposed to know."

"I haven't had the chance to talk to Jen yet. I only got here as you were about to go onstage."

"I wasn't expecting everything to be done and dusted so quickly. Maybe we should take a bit of a break from hanging around each other until…well, until you've decided what to do."

"I already have decided, didn't you hear me?" He asks placing his hand on mine. "I just haven't gotten the chance to talk to Jen yet."

"Are you sure about this?" I ask him as I bite my lip. "I'm not trying to back out or anything, it just seems a little…sudden and I don't want you to feel like I'm making you rush to make a decision. I know what she means to you."

"She does mean a lot to me Joey, but the reasons we started dating again were all wrong."

I smile back at him and that feeling of uneasiness that I had starts to subside.

"I'll speak with her as soon as I can." He says as we make our way back to the table where everyone was seated at before.