Love Doesn't Ask Why

Part 4

I ask, when will I see you again
once was all that we had
and your touch, I’ve forgotten
how good it was
question mark trade of thoughts
turning around in my mind
can’t let go
visions of you baby
is all that I know

where do we go from here
how do we find our way to go on
promise you’ll stay by my side
don’t walk away from me now

Dear Journal
Last night I said goodbye to Dawson and today I know that I love him more than I had previously. They say that sex changes everything and they’re right. I knew yesterday that I loved him but now I love him more. But I can’t have him, he is gone. I can’t bring myself to tell Bessie or to face Pacey at the moment. Bessie told him I was sick and sleeping. How long will they buy it for? I want to tell someone, shout it from the heaven’s. I slept with Dawson Leery last night, but then that wouldn’t be very appropriate. I think that I now know when it was that I fell back in love with Dawson. Well I know that I never really stopped but I knew for sure that I loved him at Christmas. When I went to the Christmas party at the Leery’s, with no Pacey there. He and Gretchen kissed under the mistletoe and that was it. I knew that I shouldn’t have been with Pacey, but I never did anything about it. Part of me was ready to tell Dawson that I still loved him. Then I decided to think things over, not to rush into anything, not to ruin our very delicate friendship. But by the time I had made my decision, well he was with Gretchen. I didn’t do anything. I wouldn’t risk it, but now ?
Joey

where do we go, oh where do we go

I ask, myself where are you now
are you alone in the night

Dear Journal
She knows that something is wrong, I know it. She doesn’t say or imply anything is wrong but I think that she thinks it. Or maybe she just senses that something is different, wrong. As for my last night in Capeside, well wow. I really want to write to Joey but what should I say? Would she want me to write to her? I should probably wait a while. And what is she thinking right now? She told me before I left that she loved me. Joey Potter loves me. And I love her. I still love her, I guess I always have. Maybe I always will.
Dawson.

do you feel, the same way
I’m feeling for you
‘cause babe I need to know

Dear Journal
I finally managed to face Pacey. And I think that he knows that something is wrong. How long will it be before he asks me what is wrong? And if he does ask, well what do I tell him? I can’t exactly tell him the truth, can I?
Joey

constantly sleepless
alone in my bed
visions of you babe
Is all that I have

where do we go from here

Dear Journal
Something is wrong with Joey. I can’t quite pin-point what it is but something hasn’t been right for some time now. I want to ask her what is wrong but what if she tells me something I don’t want to hear? What if she still has feelings for Dawson? Wait a minute, that can’t be it. If it was then she would just dump me, she wouldn’t stay with me.
Pacey

how do we find our way to go on
promise you’ll stay by my side yeah
don’t walk away from me now

Dear Journal
I don’t know why but he seems really jumpy, it’s almost like something has changed between us. I don’t know if this is because he’s not at home anymore or if maybe it has something to do with Joey. Maybe something was said our last night in Capeside. Or maybe I’m just being paranoid?
Gretchen.

where do we go
oh where do we go
oh yeah yeah

Dear Journal
Things are slowly getting back to normal with Pacey. He did sense something was wrong but he seemed to buy my story. As for Bessie, well she says that I know where to find her if I ever want to talk about it. Maybe I should tell her what happened, what I’m feeling. That I still love Dawson. But what good would that really be? How would telling her help me?
Joey.

Yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah

Dear Journal
I still can’t figure out what it is that’s wrong with Dawson. Did I do something wrong? Something to upset him? Is he still trying to adjust? Should I just come straight out and ask him what it is that’s wrong? I think I will, because this feeling of something not being right between us, it isn’t good.
Gretchen.

constantly sleepless
alone in my bed
visions of you babe
Is all that I have

where do we go from here

Dear Journal
Dawson is just the sweetest and I love him for it. He must have known what I was thinking or what I was going through because he sent me a lovely bouquet of flowers. What did his card say? ‘Still thinking of you, love Dawson’. He really does love me. I just hope that Bessie doesn’t get suspicious. I hope that she doesn’t find the card otherwise she really will be suspicious.
Joey.

how do we find our way to go on
promise you’ll stay by my side yeah
don’t walk away from me now
where do we go
where do we go
yeah, yeah

Dear Journal
I hope that she got them, I hope that it made her happy to know that I was thinking of her. I wonder if she realises just how much I’ve been thinking about her, because for some reason I can’t seem to get her out of my head. One thing that I do know is that Gretchen is starting to get suspicious of something. Should I finish things with Gretchen? Part of me thinks that it doesn’t seem right to be with her when I have all of these feelings for Joey. But another part of me really cares about her and in a sense or in a way I do love her. But it’s not in the same way that I love Joey.
Dawson.

oh oh oh yeah (find a way to go on)
where do we go (promise you’ll stay by my side)
don’t walk away, don’t walk away baby
I ask why, why oh why

Dear Journal
I couldn’t put up with it any longer, so I asked him straight out. He says he’s still trying to adjust to life on his own, life without his parents, life outside of his own ‘little world’. Which is good because I was starting to think that I’d done something wrong, but we’ve definitely sorted things.
Gretchen.

I ask why, why oh why
(where do we go from here) don’t walk away, don’t walk away baby
(how do we find a way to go on) I ask why, why oh why

Dear Journal
it’s not the same and it never will be, I know that now for a fact. Gretchen asked me what was wrong and I told her the whole adjusting crap. She bought my story and then we ended up having sex. She was making such a big deal of things, and I didn’t even want to do it. I feel as though I’ve somehow betrayed Joey.
Dawson.

(promise you’ll stay by my side) why oh why baby
(don’t walk away from me now) where do we go
** where do we go - stephen gately **

Dear Journal
I have to tell someone what has been going on and I mean really tell someone. But who can I tell? What will they think of it? All I know is that I have to tell someone soon because I can’t go through this all alone.
Joey.

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