Every Word Was A Piece Of My Heart
Part 3 - wherever you will go
Karen H.

As I wake up I realise that the phone is ringing. Sitting up I see Audrey reach for it.

"Hello!" She mumbles.

Who on earth would be calling at this time, it’s 3:25am.

"What?" Audrey says into the phone as she turns on the lamp. "When did this happen?...Okay...I’ll see you soon...I’ll tell her...bye."

As Audrey hangs up I notice that her demeanor has changed. She looks as though she is in shock and her face has gone white all of a sudden.

"Audrey, who was that?" I ask concerned.

She doesn’t answer me, she just gets up off of her bed and walks over to my bed.

"Audrey?"

"Joey..." Audrey says sitting down beside me, then she closes her eyes.

"Audrey, what’s wrong?" I say with a hint of annoyance creeping into my voice.

She opens her eyes and then speaks. "That...was Pacey."

"Why was he calling so late?"

"He had something really important to..." She’s a bit hesitant with what she’s saying. "...his brother...Doug, just showed up...he had some bad news, Joey there’s been an accident..."

"Is it Bessie? What’s happened to her?" I ask starting to worry.

"Bessie’s okay. Nothing has happened to Bessie." She pauses again, only now do I see the tears start to form in her eyes. "Joey...it’s Dawson..."

My first thought is how can it be Dawson. He wasn’t going back to Capeside until tomorrow.

"Is he okay?" I ask, but I already know that he’s not okay. I know that he’s hurt.

She throws her arms around me, hugging me as I hear her voice break. "I’m so sorry Joey...Dawson’s dead."

"What did you say?" I ask her, my voice so low that it can barely be heard.

Audrey squeezes me tighter. "I said he’s dead."

I don’t say anything. I can’t. And even if I wanted to, well I don’t think that any words would come out. It can’t be true. Can it? No, there has to have been some sort of mistake. Dawson can’t be dead. I won’t believe it.

"Joey?" Audrey says loosening her grip on me.

"What?"

"Say something, anything." She now has tears streaming down her face.

I start to shake my head. "It’s not true. It can’t be."

She wraps her arms around me again, pulling me tighter as I hear her sniff.

"Pacey’s on his way over." She says into my hair. "He’s gonna take you to Capeside tonight."

I don’t reply. If I reply it could make this real. It’s not true. I refuse to believe it.

Audrey sits holding me for fifteen minutes, but it feels like hours.

"I’ll come with you." Audrey says standing. And I just nod my head.

She walks over to her closet and starts pulling out some clothes and tossing them on her bed. Then she walks to my closet and does the same. I just sit watching her as I draw my legs up and hug them. It’s not true, it’s not true, it’s not true.

She takes her backpack out of her closet and starts putting the clothes into it, still crying.

"Joey, why don’t you go into the bathroom and get dressed." Audrey suggests and I stand up. My movements are mechanical as I walk past her. "Joey?"

I just turn and look at her not saying anything.

"Aren’t you forgetting something?" I just stare at her. "Clothes." She says handing me a shirt and a pair of trousers.

I enter the bathroom and just stand there. My mantra running through my head. It’s not true. I won’t believe it. I can’t.

As Audrey opened the door she was surprised to see how this had affected Pacey. He was standing there, tears still welling in his eyes. Showing a side of Pacey that most people didn’t even know existed. One thing Audrey never thought she’d see was Pacey almost crying.

Audrey allowed him to step into the room before she enveloped him in her embrace. "I’m so sorry Pacey." She said.

His voice cracked with emotion as she let him go. "Where’s Joey?"

"She’s in the bathroom." Audrey replies.

"How did she take it?" Pacey asked her as he sat on Audrey’s bed.

Audrey stood shaking her head. "I don’t think that she’s taking it in. She says that it isn’t true. She can’t believe it."

"I would never have expected any different from Joey." Pacey tells her, before adding. "They were such a big part of each others lives. God, I can’t believe that I’m talking about Dawson in the past tense."

"Where’s Doug?"

"He’s waiting in the car. He decided to wait on us...once I’d told him that we’d drive to Capeside tonight. Said that I’d be in no fit state to drive us anywhere."

They just sit in silence holding each others hand until Joey emerges from the bathroom. Pacey stands first and steps towards Joey. He wraps his arms around her and as he does so he sniffles. "Joey..." He doesn’t say anything else because he doesn’t really know what to say.

Pacey lets go of Joey and she just stands there looking at him as Audrey rises from the bed. "Maybe we should go, Doug’s waiting." Audrey says picking up one of the backpacks.

Joey just stands there for a moment, staring into space, her mantra still playing in her head.

As the car approaches Capeside, I still tell myself that it’s not true. How can it be? I was with him only nine hours ago...when he told me that...why couldn’t I just tell him.

It’s strange, just this very afternoon we were driving down this very road...going back to Boston.

And now...I can’t believe it. I have to see it before I can believe it.

This whole journey has been in silence. Only now as we pass the ‘welcome to Capeside’ sign, do I hear Pacey clear his throat. "Is someone with Gale?" He asks Doug in a low voice.

I see Doug nod his head a little. "Bessie’s with her. She was looking after Lily while Gale was at the restaurant. The restaurant had just closed."

I close my eyes...if this is all true, what must Gale be feeling? First Mitch and now...NO! Surely this family hasn’t been robbed again.

Audrey grasps my hand and squeezes it a little as I feel the tears about to start falling.

Doug continues. "Bodie had just given Gale a ride home. I arrived at the Leery’s before Bessie left at one-thirty in the morning. The accident happened around twelve-thirty."

My eyes shoot open. That was when I woke up from my dream.

About Dawson.

Him telling me that he loved me.

And me...not saying it back.