Every Word Was A Piece Of My Heart
Part 12 -
Karen H.

There is a knocking at the door, this wakes me and for a moment I feel disorientated.

I have finally managed to get a full night sleep, something that has been difficult for me since Dawson’s death.

Guilt has been the main reason.

I stumble over to the door and open it and I think that I am imagining things. Maybe I’m still dreaming.

I must be staring, because he’s waving his hand in front of my face and saying something as he enters the room; I close the door behind him.

“I know that it’s probably a little early for this but I came here to apologise for what I said to you yesterday. I had absolutely no right telling you what I did. Especially after everything that’s happened these past few months. And then putting you on the spot like that...I’m sorry.”

I think that I must be just staring at him.

“Jo...say something.”

“Dawson...” I close my eyes and then open them again. He’s still standing there. Maybe I’m not imagining this. “Am I still sleeping?” I ask.

“What?” He asks somewhat confused.

“Could you pinch me really hard because I think that I’m dreaming all of this.”

He steps forward saying “Okay, but when this hurts don’t punch me or anything.”

And then he pinches my arm.

“Hey that hurt.” I say, rubbing my arm.

“Okay have we established the fact that you are awake?” He says seeming annoyed as a tear rolls down my cheek.

“You’re really cute when you’re annoyed, do you know that?” I tell him, a small smiling flashing on my lips. “It’s one of the things that I love about you.”

He’s wearing that confused expression again.

I step forward; throw my arms around his neck before I kiss him. This must really surprise him because at first he doesn’t respond, but then he starts to kiss me back. At first the kiss is slow and tender, and then it becomes heated as he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me closer.

We’re both breathless when we break the kiss, our foreheads resting against the others.

“Okay...that wasn’t exactly what I was expecting...”

“Dawson…” I cut him off before pulling on the collar of his shirt, bringing his face closer to mine. I kiss him again, this time mumbling against his lips. “I love you!”

He looks stunned as I look at him once the kiss is broken. “Excuse me; haven’t we already been over this?” He asks, confused, his hands still resting on my waist.

“I mean in the romantic sense!”

“You do?”

I don’t answer him with words; instead I lightly brush my lips against his again. “Mmhm.”

“Jo…what changed??” He asks as we both sit down on my bed.

“Nothing…and everything.”

“That makes no sense at all.”

“I’m not sure I can explain it all right now. All I know is that when you said ‘I love you’ yesterday, I felt it too. I wanted to say it back…but I was afraid. I was afraid that we’d just hurt each other again.”

I pause for a moment, letting it all sink in.

“And today, you don’t think that that’ll happen??”

I shake my head. “No. Dawson, we can’t guarantee that we’ll never hurt each other again. But I can promise you that I will never do anything to intentionally hurt you. These past few years have been this long rollercoaster of a ride…but we’ve managed to get through it all…staying friends.”

“Yeah.” He says as I reach for his hand.

“I don’t want to be ‘just friends’ anymore. I want more Dawson, I want everything. Do you want that too??”

His answer is like mine before. Not answered with words, but with his lips pressed against mine.

“Yes.” He says into my mouth.

And I can’t help but throw my arms around him. This feels like home.

We stay like that for a while, locked in each others embrace. The rest of the day is spent together, walking around Boston talking, stealing kisses, and holding hands.

The evening rounded off with a movie night back in my room. And Dawson even spends the night, sleeping peacefully beside me, his arms wrapped securely around me, our fingers laced together.

As he sleeps I can’t help but let my mind wander…thinking of that dream.

Dreams can be pretty powerful things. To Joey it pushed her…forced her to see a life that could be so changed. What could be so far removed from what she knew, what she’d always had, than for her to see what could be.

If she had really lost him there would be no ‘next time’. No second chances. She’d seen that now.

She was only grateful for the fact that he hadn’t gone back to Capeside the night before…because for all she knew what had happened in her dream, it could have happened last night. Or just maybe it did happen but in some alternate reality. Somewhere out there far, far away, she really could be without her Dawson.

All she knew was she’d never push him away from her; she’d cling onto him for dear life. Cherishing whatever time they had.

As she started to feel herself drift off to sleep she tightened his arms around her, allowing her body to sink further into his.

“I love you, Dawson.” She whispered.

She felt his arms giving her a gentle squeeze before he buried his face in her hair, kissing her head.

“Jo…I love you too.”

As they both drifted off to sleep, both had little smiles on their face. Both knowing as long as they took it slowly and were honest with each other, everything would work out.