I have often said that mind and body are powers of order. The heart and spirit are dynamic chaos. Today the flux of order and chaos has led me to evaluate my spiritual power for its essence, and I have come up with so many questions. Am I truly a spiritual person? Yes, I believe so. Then what belief drives my spirituality? Can I put a definition to my creed? I once could, but now the lines are hazy. God, divine being, deity, creator, father of my soul...I believe. And as I have always claimed Christianity, what of Him, my atoning Savior? I believe he was and is, I believe he did what is written and I know it was of and for love of mankind, brethren and sisters. Beyond that, one must examine atonement itself. Ransom for every evil act and thought, a gift which can be used through repentance for transgression, omission and commission of wrongful nature.Do I repent? First one must feel wrong, and while I could never claim perfection as a flawed mortal, I feel no guilt for my life. I have chosen my path and with every choice, I choose also its consequences as far as I can see them. Pride, maybe? Delusion? Perhaps I have lost my conscience, yet I feel its sting so often for a harsh word spoken, feelings I have hurt, a work on someone's behalf. No, I believe my conscience is alive and pulsing hard and deep within my every action. But of religion? Maybe today is the gate and cue for me to study these questions and find the answers which will solidify some of the fire that is spirit. I should search for the source of my spiritual power and upon finding it, rediscover it each day. SO my quest begins, continues and changes as dynamic as the chaos-fire of a soul's spirit.
