The house was cold. That was the first sensation that returned to Gina after she got the news. This sensation was, of course, followed by others�pain, guilt, desperation, desire�but none of those feelings were quite as honest, quite as raw as the cold. It seized first her arms, her ears, her pallid, damp cheeks. It lay heavy on her chest and filled her mouth when she breathed. It was not a supernatural cold, not the clammy, lifeless kind that fills the bodies of the dead, but simply a chill filling the absence, the empty space left by brother, lover, son, and friend. This kind of cold was the realization of a bleak, skyless future�one without Taylor.
Gina surveyed the family room, noting the couch with room for one more brother, the children scattered around its base with desolate faces. She saw Walker, her father in almost every sense of the word, being held up by his easy chair in the corner, a greasy Kleenex balled tightly in his hand.
�Gina�, he said feebly, outstretching his arm. She knelt to him obediently, resting her chin gently atop the dip before his shoulder as he held her, sobbing pointless apologies into her ear. �My son�my son�, he cried. �I�m so sorry�� She was touched with a twinge of anger at he and Diana; their reversal of roles was a difficult transition for her, and it was not fair that she, Taylor�s widow, should be the one to comfort.
Widow. The word tasted bitter in her mouth, and she longed to spit it out, to expel her frustrations in so many salty teardrops. But they would not come. Instead, she spied a box of tissues nearby and swiftly picked one for Walker, patting him on the cheek as she released herself from his hold.
It was then that Gina became aware of the eyes that were watching her. Throughout the room, each of Taylor�s siblings were staring intently, as if she were some predator on an African plain, or a land mine with a lit fuse�they were waiting for her to pounce, to explode.
She seated herself on the carpet in the middle of the room, nearest to Walker and Zac, whose brown eyes were wide and unblinking, seeming as though they or his sorrows would engulf him at any moment. Hugging her knees tightly, she barely noticed the rain that began to pitter-patter on the roof as Diana mechanically rehearsed details of the tentative funeral.
