Jack Maisie Jr: So...
Jack Maisie Jr: ...Holly and I were thinking we should
throw an engagement party.
Jack Maisie Jr: Where people would give us gifts and
money.
Jack Maisie Jr: And say "congratulations" a lot.
Daddy: you don't do that at an engagement party
Jack Maisie Jr: What do you do at engagement parties
then?
Jack Maisie Jr: What's the point of throwing a party if
you're not getting anything?
Daddy: well, the congratulations is usually said
Jack Maisie Jr: HOLY CRAP
Jack Maisie Jr: HOLLY'S DOING THE DISHES?!
Daddy: usually an engagement party is thrown "for"
you, not "by" you
Jack Maisie Jr: Well, that's lame.
Daddy: Holly does the dishes all the time
Jack Maisie Jr: We want to throw one "for" ourselves.
Daddy: cool..then you get to pay for it
Daddy: saves me and mom doing it
Jack Maisie Jr: It wouldn't cost anything, except
whatever it takes for food.
Jack Maisie Jr: But I'm sure all the money and gifts will
be worth it.
Daddy: food, drink, entertainment, parting gifts
Jack Maisie Jr: Parting gifts?
Jack Maisie Jr: What the crap?
Jack Maisie Jr: No, Dad.
Jack Maisie Jr: You don't seem to understand.
Jack Maisie Jr: WE will be getting presents.
Jack Maisie Jr: Not everyone else.
Daddy: oh sure, as the "engaged couple" it is
customary for y'all to give your guests gifts
Daddy: you have a lot to learn
Daddy: you don't get gifts until the wedding day
Jack Maisie Jr: How's that customary if the party is
usually held "for" the couple "by" someone else?
Daddy: or at a shower
Jack Maisie Jr: Fine, we'll tell everyone Holly's pregnant
and we're getting married in two weeks.
Daddy: unless you actually have a wedding, you still
won't get anything
Daddy: and you can't get married in two weeks...you
have nowhere to live
Jack Maisie Jr: People are too needy. They expect to go
to a party being held "for" someone else and come out with
something?
Jack Maisie Jr: Greedy bastards.
Daddy: sucks, huh?
Jack Maisie Jr: Yeah, it really does.
Jack Maisie Jr: How about on the way out I kick
everyone in the ass?
Daddy: sounds fun
Daddy: we could go waaaay back to the real old
traditions
Jack Maisie Jr: How's that work?
Daddy: Holly's dad pays me for taking her off his
hands :)
Daddy: it was called a Dowery
Jack Maisie Jr: See, I wouldn't stop him.
Jack Maisie Jr: I mean... you'll need something to pay for
our honeymoon with.
Daddy: yea, but it was usually paid in chickens and
sheep
Jack Maisie Jr: I'm not going to have a honeymoon that
was paid for with chickens and sheep.
Daddy: the honeymoon is paid for by the bride and
groom
Daddy: we'll give you a goat
Jack Maisie Jr: I thought that it was traditionally the
groom's parents that paid for the honeymoon.
Jack Maisie Jr: And the bride's parents pay for the
wedding.
Daddy: the grooms parents just pay for the Last
Supper...errr...the Rehearsal Dinner
Jack Maisie Jr: Oh, well that's lame.
Jack Maisie Jr: You should buy us a honeymoon.
Jack Maisie Jr: And not a goat.
Daddy: fine..buy your own dinner!
Daddy: ok, but we pick it
Daddy: you'll be honeymooning in Lucas
Jack Maisie Jr: Okay. If you'll buy us that two-week
cruise that Holly wants, I'll pay for our dinner.
Daddy: I don't even buy ME a two week cruise!!
Daddy: you've already had a cruise...we'll take Holly
with us in January
Jack Maisie Jr: So anyway, we wanted to have this party
sometime in the next few weeks.
Daddy: so you aren't coming to it?
Jack Maisie Jr: I need to come down to vote; I didn't pick
up a ballot.
Daddy: you won't be back yet
Jack Maisie Jr: Then again... it may be a better idea to do
it around Thanksgiving.
Daddy: you can get one sent to you, check out
www.johnkerry.org
Daddy: sure, we'll have everyone over for a A&M/tu
watching party
Jack Maisie Jr: More people would be home from
college.
Jack Maisie Jr: Christ. Getting married is already hard
work.
Daddy: and then they can also say congratulations
Daddy: wait...it gets worse
Daddy: but you'll know when, because there is a signal
just before it gets really bad
Jack Maisie Jr: Her water breaks?
Daddy: you hear the phrase "I do"
Jack Maisie Jr: Aha.
Daddy: then it's to late to run
Jack Maisie Jr: So... party.
Jack Maisie Jr: Yay or nay?
Daddy: I think mom mentioned throwing one for you
Daddy: but you truly don't get any gifts!
Jack Maisie Jr: Oh, neat.
Jack Maisie Jr: WHY?!
Daddy: It's not done!
Jack Maisie Jr: Well... when I advertise it to invite
people...
Jack Maisie Jr: ...I'll encourage gift-giving.
Daddy: thats what showers are for
Jack Maisie Jr: To us.
Daddy: we throw the party...we invite
Daddy: you really have no class, do you?
Jack Maisie Jr: But... I'll be surrounded by your square
friends.
Jack Maisie Jr: I'm joking, of course.
Jack Maisie Jr: Your friends are darling.
Daddy: sur"rounded" by "square" friends....Good one!
Jack Maisie Jr: Har har, Dad. Have I ever said you
should do stand-up?
Jack Maisie Jr: Oh, right, I have.
Jack Maisie Jr: But I was lying.
Daddy: Yea..but MY friends can afford stuff...yours
can't!
Jack Maisie Jr: And with good reason.
Jack Maisie Jr: You said we're not getting gifts.
Jack Maisie Jr: Or... will they just... bring them... because
they're... good people?
Jack Maisie Jr: Be sure to mention the party at a Booster
Club meeting so Ms. Howell can tell people to come and
bring gifts.
Daddy: beware of the Greeks
Jack Maisie Jr: Then everyone will think it'- what?
Jack Maisie Jr: You totally just threw me off.
Daddy: lol
Daddy: it's a saying...Beware of Greeks bearing gifts
Jack Maisie Jr: Oh.
Daddy: referencing the Trojan Horse
Jack Maisie Jr: Oh, right.
Daddy: means there may be a catch
Jack Maisie Jr: I don't think someone's going to give
Holly and I a bunch of Trojans, Dad.
Jack Maisie Jr: .....
Daddy: anyway, sometimes gifts are brought for the
hosts
Daddy: no, she'll get those at the batchelorette party
Jack Maisie Jr: Oh.
Jack Maisie Jr: You could've at least laughed.
Daddy: so you have to wait at least 2 more years...you
can't even have decent bachellor and bachellorette
parties till then
Jack Maisie Jr: Naro said I should have one bachelor
every semester until I get married.
Daddy: and I need that much time to figure out how to
spell those words
Jack Maisie Jr: Yes you do.
Daddy: you have to wait till you can go to bars
Daddy: I have to go
Jack Maisie Jr: Okay.
Daddy: later
Jack Maisie Jr: Bye.
Jack Maisie Jr: I thought you meant "...to the bars with
you."
Daddy: nope...home
Daddy signed off at 4:51:37 PM.
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