The new Fabulous Five, consisting of Sasha, Grace, Baltor, Puttynut, and Timothy, had their very first Fabulous Five meeting the weekend after Timothy's knighting. To celebrate, a huge party was thrown during the meeting. There was Ecto Cooler Hi-C and relish pie, there was an enormous bowl of meatless meatballs topped with Heinz's recently-made-famous yellow ketchup (confused often with mustard, but tasty nonetheless). Everyone in Santa Fe was invited, including Nigel.

Nobody had heard from Archie by the time the party started, so they decided to wait until he arrived to begin the karaoke. Instead, everyone just sat around watching Sasha's family movies while Nigel hit on everything with legs.

During one video, which showed Sasha and her long-lost brother (he wasn't long-lost at the time) building a snowman, Nigel scooted up next to Grace on a couch. "You be one fine honey," he said, "I'd like to be all up in you." Grace slapped him and he stepped back.

The door burst open. In stepped Archie Archbanger carrying a large sack over his left shoulder. His eyes gleamed and he grinned as he walked into the middle of the family room, dropping the sack at Sasha's feet. "I was wandering through the forest," he started, "when I came across a rather large patch of these hybrid mushroom-flowers." Archie lifted the bag and emptied its contents out on Sasha's floor. "As you can see, they look very tasty. Well, I took the liberty of eating a couple of these mushroom-flowers (which from now on I will refer to as "mushplants") and boy were they disgusting! However, shortly after eating them I blacked out. When I awoke I was in a magical place. There was no ground or walls or ceiling. Only nothingness. It was all white. A man walked up to me wearing a white tuxedo. My first thought was that this was God. But I was wrong. I learned his name was Caberon. He told me that I was in a place called Infinite Nirvana, which is really just a state of being in which one is completely relaxed and peaceful and free from everything. He said that everybody found their own Nirvana at different times, but that Infinite Nirvana was only reached after eating mushplants. This Caberon guy was in charge of the place. He told me to come along with some friends some time. So here I am. I've brought you these mushplants. Eat them and join me in Infinite Nirvana!" Everybody applauded. Not because what Archie said was inspiring or amazing or anything, but because he'd finally stopped talking. Nobody payed much attention to what he said. All they knew was that once Archie finished talking they'd be able to eat these tasty-looking mushplants.

At once everybody dove into the pile of mushplants, sticking four or five of them in their mouths at one time and then going back for more once those were choked down. In the end, there were none left. Only an empty sack was left crumpled at the foot of Sasha's reclining chair. Now everybody lay on the ground moaning. This was the worst meal they'd ever indulged in and they were regretting it already. Until.....

The lights faded out in Sasha's apartment. There was a blinding flash suddenly that dissolved away slowly. All it left behind was white emptiness. Everybody was there, standing on nothing yet they felt some sort of "ground" below their feet that they could not see. Up ahead was a tall man in a white tuxedo. Archie urged everybody to step toward him.

Nigel's eyes were wide and glazed over. "Man, this is some fucked-up shit."

Caberon walked to Archie and shook his hand. "I'm glad to see you've returned, young Archbanger. I'm also glad to see you've brought your friends." With a wave of his hand, Caberon was gone. In his place was a short pillar with an open book on the top. In the book, Archie read the following:

i>Welcome Archie Archbanger, Sasha, Grace, Nigel, Puttynut, Timothy, Baltor, and Canus. We in Infinite Nirvana are happy to welcome you. Please feel free to stay a bit. Unfortunately, Caberon has some business to tend to, but be sure to drop in again in a week or so to see him again. He may have presents for you. You like presents, don't you? Yeees, you do. Everybody likes presents.

Once he finished reading, the book disappeared in a puff of smoke. Canus barked and Timothy scolded him. Off to the side a bit was a sign that read "No barking. Thank you."

Unfortunately, the stay in Infinite Nirvana didn't last long. Everybody's high faded away, as did the whiteness that was Infinite Nirvana. Everyone was back in Sasha's apartment now, lying on the floor in large puddles of their own drool. Baltor sat up. "Wow. That was strange," he said.

"Agreed," Puttynut agreed.

Continue on to Episode V: Hell Freezes Over