and it was really nothing
but before love happened he destroyed my heart
No matter what you say
it will not change the way I feel
He's made my life different and me as a person too
I've been close to one person, once
He hurt me
So I gave up
Life will never be the same without him,
but what would it be like with him
I will never know either way
My heart torn in two,
One says I love you,
the other one in unbearable pain
That boy left a hole there
in my heart and
When the wind passes through it, it pains me
You can never ever see
the things I have gone through,
they are so complicated
What I feel cannot be explained
It cannot be written down,
but I assure you it hurts
It hurts every day when I wake up and think
What if...
It hurts when I see him
It hurts when I dream of what could be
and I wake up to
no one
One boy changed my life
for better and worse,
there is no turning back
My heart is his,
though I don't know why
This feeling I have,
He made me fly
He made me human
He showed me love and pain
This one boy made me believe,
live, love and be loved
He made me weak inside
So I let my guard down
and he hurt my heart
my innocent heart
The doors slammed shut
and I tried to pretend,
but there's not fighting it
The pain and the emotions
rage on through me every day
I try to hold them in, in every way
Now, because of him
I want so much more
I crave love
But because of him
I will never open the doors
to my heart, in their fullest extent
And these doors that protect me have springs
so that if they need to be closed
Slam!
I know you think your life is worse
but your feelings are gone
you never felt pain from them
They only gave you love and happiness,
You may dream of them,
but not in pain
I've stopped remembering my dreams
because they hurt so
Who knows what pain I could be unleashing
Now I keep all wrapped up
but we are all human and that is no way to live
When I let go there's no stopping
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
No joke
I just lie there and think
I think on those sleepless nights
About me and my life
and I realize something when I think
I'm alone
and o so lonely
that's why I cry
The tears are like the rain
they was away everything
so you can start new
I rebuild my doors
with new stronger materials
then I put on my mask and face the world
I was hurt once and gave up
I can't let go and I cry to myself when I try
and this, my friend is one reason why i am the saddest one of all.
** Dedicated to my friend Hillary to prove a point and for helping me harness all that emotion