(now be silents for a few sceonds)
You say: (whisper) 7 days.
(Then hang up!)
Telemarketer: I don't have a goat
You: Good cause I don't have a garden
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| Being mean to telemarketers is sooo much FUN! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| They drive you insane, and half the time you just hang up. but why not have some fun first? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "C'mon Leon, cut it out! Seriously Leon, how's your mom?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| After each question they ask you say "no" ... for example ... are you the owner of the house? "no" can I speak with the owner please? "no" do you know a good time to call back? "no" ... so on and so forth. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| When you know it's a telemarketer scream "What?! You weren�t supposed to get out of jail for another month!" scream hysterically again and hang up. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Say in your most business-like, STRAIGHT-FACED voice "Butler County Sperm Bank, you make it, we pack it! This is (your name), how can I help you?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| After the telemarketer tells you about their product you ask, "You want me to pay money for that?" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| If they are selling long distance just keep saying hello?..hello?....hello?....darn this (whatever long distance company they are from), service isn't worth a hoot. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Cry out in surprise, "Judy, IS that you? Oh my God Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| After they tell you the product they're selling, ask them if it comes with a free blender. If they say no, tell them that you won't buy from them without a free blender, and hang up. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Say in perfect English, "I don't speak English, sorry" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Telemarketer: Hello, is (person's name) there? (now be silents for a few sceonds) You say: (whisper) 7 days. (Then hang up!) |
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| Wait for the telemarketer to go half way through his discription and say: "I lowered my cholesterol!" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| When they ask if you wanna buy "blahblah", just say (very pleasently), "No thanks...I already have a penguin!" and hang up | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| If they ask,"Is your blah blah home?" respond with," They said they're not here." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Intterupt the telemarketer saying "Hey um, can you give me your rates and the rates of three of your competitors?...you know, I don't want to pay too much." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Ask what the survey is about. No matter what they say, just say, "Oh, I see how it is. Oh Yeah, I see whats going on." then yell "YOU JUST WANT ME TO ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS TO YOU CAN GET ME IN BED. GUESS WHAT. ITS NOT WORKING THIS TIME!!!" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "I'm sorry. The person you have asked for has currently been eaten by a bear." If they laugh tell them "It isn't funny, it was very tragic". If they're like oh, I'm sorry. say, "yes it was very tragic..." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You: Your goats in my garden Telemarketer: I don't have a goat You: Good cause I don't have a garden |
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