| One Year Post-Op and More |
| 1 Year, 17 Days - My weight is still fluctuating and I think it will continue to do so. It wavers between 129 and 133 pounds. Still wear a size 9/10 pants and medium shirt. I've packed on a bit of muscle, and I'm starting to wonder if I should stop building muscle and work on toning. I don't want to be a muscle woman! Some of you who read my guestbook archives may have seen that I was contacted by a producer on CourtTV to share my story for about 2 or 3 minutes on a gameshow. I think the experience would've been incredible, but unfortunately they found someone right in California to do the episode about weight loss. It must not have been meant to be. I have been asked to speak on behalf of the YMCA and about my personal weight loss experience a few times in the next couple months. I already spoke as a Personal Fitness Program Graduate at a YMCA Corporate event last week. In a few weeks I will be speaking at the local Bariatric Support Group meeting. I've also been approached to speak about the YMCA's Strong Kid's Program. This is a scholarship fund that helps families with the membership fee for the Y if they are low income. Since my family participates in the program and I now work at the Y, I must be a prime candidate! Also, my Personal Fitness Coach, Hilary and I are going to see if we can speak at the National Wellness Conference in July about Gastric Bypass Surgery. Keep your fingers crossed for us. 1 Year, 3 Months, 14 Days - It's been a few months since I updated. My life has very much returned to normal. So much so that my weight has leveled off and I now have to watch so I don't gain weight. I knew going into surgery this was not going to be a "fix all". I still struggle with eating too much too often when I am very stressed, which I have been the last few weeks. My paternal grandmother passed away 3 weeks ago. I also just returned from a very stressful trip to Washington DC for my brother's graduation. Unfortunately, I fell back into some old behaviors while being in such close quarters with my family again, and I tried to cope with my feelings by stuffing them with food. I also wasn't very careful about food choices while in DC. Before all this happened I weighed 133 pounds, but now I'm up to 138 pounds. I developed an "addiction" to yogurt covered granola bars because they are so sweet and can be taken anywhere. I need to use this as a learning exercise and move forward with my life and not dwell on what I feel is a failure. I am trying to banish granola bars from my life as an alcoholic would banish alcohol. I hurt my back last month so I haven't been exercising as much, only about 2 times a week. It helps that the weather is getting nice because then I take my son for bike rides. I still work in the fitness center at the Y, and I'm hopeful for getting to teach a beginner exercise class come this fall. I have to admit between not exercising as often and eating more than usual, I've gotten really down on myself. Add in the the stressful situations of the last few weeks and my depression is rearing it's ugly head. Everything is kind of in a holding pattern in my life until I feel like I can get a grip on things again. Please keep me in your prayers. I almost forgot ... today is my 4 year wedding anniversary! Happy Anniversary to us! 1 Year, 8 Months, 9 Days - I find myself updating less often because changes are scarce. Now I've had many. We moved to our state's capitol a few weeks ago because Jeff got a new job. We are about an hour to an hour and a half away from any family or friends. That's hard. We went from a city of about 30,000 people to 250,000. We're talking culture shock! Another change I've made is to cut my hair. It had grown just past shoulder length, but I always had it pulled back and I was getting little wispy hairs from breakage. My sister-in-law, Carrie, is a stylist, so I went to see her. It's about one to two inches long. I like my hair short, but I do miss my long hair. It's easier to take care of short and I like that, so I guess I'll have to wait and see if I keep it short or grow it out. The transition has been hard for me and for Noah. My depression, anxiety and agoraphobia has reared it's ugly head. I started to compensate by eating again. Mostly healthy food, just too much of it. I also started smoking again. I felt I needed to either get my eating under control to avoid gaining weight or quit smoking. I've decided to focus on getting my eating under control first, then tackle quiting smoking again. Smoking is such a disgusting habit, I'm hoping it won't be too hard to quit again. I also quit exercising during this difficult time. I've acquainted myself with the YMCA and a few other health clubs in our new town, and am determined to get back into a routine. Please pray for me. My weight is bouncing around between 134 and 139 depending on how well I'm keeping my eating under control. I had gotten down to a size 9/10 and a medium shirt. They still fit, but they're tight. I haven't gained a lot of weight, but I've lost muscle and developed fat in it's place. Exercise, exercise, exercise! 1 Year, 10 Months, 14 Days - Well, I weighed myself today and I weigh 129. I lost some weight, but not from exercise and healthy eating. I have developed very bad eating habits. Since we've moved I've been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and my son has been diagnosed with ADHD and behavorial problems. Put the two together and it's a recipe for disaster. Noah has pushed past the bounderies that we set for him before we moved and just keeps on going. Jeff likes his new job, but he works at least 11 hours a day and that is proving to be very hard on our relationship and his relationship with Noah. Lots of changes to get used to 2 Years, 1 Month, 12 Days - Well, I just had my 2 year check up a few days ago. I weighed 140 but was told they are very optimistic about me losing what I have gained and not gaining anymore weight. I am making a very concerted effort to make sure I get all the fruits and veggies I need, and to cut down on my snacking. My eating is emotional due to the large changes in my life; moving to the 2nd largest city in my state, my husband's new job working 11 hours a day, my adjustment to the new aspects in our lives, as well as my son's transition. I picked up smoking again when we moved and want to quit. We'll see how that goes. Wish me luck. I also have been battling very bad depression and agoraphobia. I am working on getting past them, but this also contributes to my emotional eating. More Soon. 2 Years, 7 Months, 22 Days - Well, it's been awhile since I updated, so I thought I would write some. I did lose the weight I gained, got to 131 pounds, but gained it back. I weigh 142 pounds and still smoking. Due to emotional eating, I've been unable to gauge when I am full and I've been throwing up because I get too full. On the flip side, things are starting to go better in other areas of my life, and I hope this will impact my overeating. I've joined a MOMs Club where we get together a few times a week for playdates and get-togethers. I'm hoping to make some new friends as well as have an outlet for Noah's energy. I have a gym membership to a very nice gym and I make it there about twice a week. It's a little intimidating there, so I need to work on getting over that and go more often. I bought new gym shoes to inspire me to do more cardio instead of just weights. I needed new gym shoes anyway, it's been a year and a half; way too long for gym shoes. I've also started thinking about going back to school. Just technical school to get an Associate Degree. I think I've decided on Graphic Design. But my husband's job may take us to another city before the end of the semester, so I've put it on hold. Also, 3 days ago, I became an Auntie for the 5th time. My sister allowed me to go through her labor and delivery with her. It was an exciting, scary, overwhelming and humbling experience. I'm hoping that experiencing her pregnancy, labor and delivery and being a new mom with her will allow me to explore my feelings about being a mom again. Having bi-polar, anxiety, ADD and Fibromyalgia, I'm unsure if I could handle having another child. I'm determined to lose the weight I've gained. I've printed a picture of myself before surgery to take to the gym with me. I'm hoping doing cardio won't be quite so tedious with that to focus on. 4 Years, 4 Months - Ok, I admit I have been avoiding updating my site. I'm not doing as well as I'd hoped I'd be at this point and I'm trying not to be discouraged. In the last 7 months I've gained 18 pounds. Granted, during that time I quit smoking and it was winter time. But now I've got to get it off again. This afternoon I have an appointment with a personal trainer at my gym. I need to find a routine I can stick with; something I enjoy and I'm comfortable with. My son also started kindergarten last fall. It's been a real struggle to help him transiton from staying at home with me to going to school full time. First we had him on medication for ADHD. We found that made him too sluggish and didn't help his behavior much. Then he was evaluated by a child psychiatrist and put on medication for possible depression/anxiety/obessive compulsive/impulsivity issues. After he was on the medication for about 6 weeks his behavior became much worse and he was suspended from school for displaying unsafe behavior 3 days in a row. Now we are looking into possible very slight autistic issues, such as Asperger's syndrome. My husband is also in transistion with his job. He may be transferred to another city in the state. It's not far and I have family there. But it's not for sure and we don't have a timeline of when the move may be. He has also started looking for jobs back in our hometown. It's really growing and has a few more opportunities in his career field. In the meantime, since my hsband's job schedule is so unstable (working both days and nights with no rhyme or reason) and Noah is finishing school in a couple weeks, I'm going to have to quit my part time job I've been working while Noah is in school. I've really enjoyed it, especially working with the people there. My manager is the best. She has made the transition back to working again after staying home with Noah much easier. I guess with quitting smoking, winter (now it's spring, thank God!) Noah's issues at school and Jeff's job unpredictability has all taken a toll on me and my eating habits. Unfortunately I picked up smoking again last weekend, but if it helps me control my eating and weight at this particular time, I'm not going to sweat it. Shame on me, I've missed my 4 year check up. I just can't deal with driving an unfamiliar route for 2 hours to my old clinic when I've gained weight and my eating habits are in disarray. The clinic here in town won't take on my follow-up appointments because they aren't taking new patients. :o( Well, when we move I'll make up for it then. Please send well wishes and prayers this way as we manuever through this trying time in our lives. 4 Years, 10 Months, 18 Days - I've been doing some maintenance on my site and I decided it's been a long time since I updated. A lot has happened in the 6 1/2 months since I updated. Some good, some not so good. Let's start with the good. My husband got a new job and we moved back home. Well, in the town next to home, about 25 minutes away. I'm closer to friends and some family, but farther away from my mom. We bought our first house, a big old house about twice the size of our previous living space! And the mortage is the same as our rent used to be! Small towns have some advantages. :o) Our old apartment was 2 bedrooms and 1 bath, about 800-something square feet. Our house is about 90 years old, but upkept very nice. It has 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, an extra room we use for a family room and almost 2000 square feet. We have a small yard for Noah to play in and a garage. (The garage is a big deal to Jeff.) On the not so good side, I really struggled with this move, even though it was a good move. I became very depressed and stopped taking care of myself. My lowest weight was 129 and now I weigh 174. I've gained around 45 pounds. I try to make myself feel better and tell myself that some people who lose weight don't keep it off as long as I have. But I am still upset with myself because I forgot that my surgery is a "tool" to help me lead a healthy life, not the end all. I've joined the YMCA here about 4 weeks ago and I've lost 4 pounds. That's encouraging. I'm only doing cardio for the time being until I learn to use the new strength training equipment. I've also been limiting my portions and eating less starches and more fruits and yogurt. And of course drinking more water! I had gotten into the bad habit of drinking caffeine free Diet Coke. I completely stopped drinking anything but water, milk and tea a little over a month ago. This surgery is still the best thing I ever did for myself and I would do it again if I had to. I just have to take better care of myself. And to those of you reading this who are contemplating surgery, you may have good times and bad, but love yourself and try to stay motivated. I'm going to start going to monthly support groups again. I need to be around others like me who struggle with the same hurdles. I'm determined to be good to myself! |