| Ponder these questions when you don't wanna think about important shtuff... |
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| If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? What do people in China call their good plates? What do you call a male lady bug? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? Why do they sterilize the neddle for a lethal injecion? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drve? Why are there Interstatesin Hawaii? Why are there floatation devices on airplanes instead of parachutes? If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day 365 day a year, why does it have locks on the door? Why is bra singular and panties plural? If a firefighter fights against fire and a crime fighter fights against crime, what does a freedom fighter fight? If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil? If you are driving at the speed of light, and you turn on your headlights, what happens? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If aspirins are always "take two", why not increase the size of ONE? |
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| just a thought....what does a Scottish transvestitie wear? |
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DID YOU KNOW? *It is impossible to lick your elbow. *A crocodile can't stick its tongue out. *A shrimp's heart is in its head. *In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand. *It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. *A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. *More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. *Horses can't vomit. *The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language. *If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. *If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. *If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. *Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants. *Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. *If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles? *In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. *A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. *23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts. *Most lipstick contains fish scales. *Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different. *Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow. |