potty

bathroom jokes.

Five pigs were stading outside a bar. The first pig went inside, ordered a beer, and after fifteen minutes, ask where the bathroom was. The bartender replied "down the hall and to your right".
    The second pig walked in and ordered two beers, and after 30 minutes, he asked where the bathroom was. "Down the hall and to your right." the bartender replied.
     The third pig walked in and orderd three beers, and after forty five minutes, he asked where the bathroom was. Again the bartender told him "Down the hall and to your right."
      Then the fourth pig came in, ordered four beers and after an hour and fiftheen minutes, asked where the bathroom was. The bartender told him the same thing he told the others.
     Finally, the fifth pig came in, and ordered five beers. After an hour and a half, he hadn't asked where the bathroom was, and the bartender was curious why.
     So he asked him, "Don't you want to know where the bathroom is, just like the other four pigs?"
     "No."
     "Oh, well why not?"
      "Because i'm the little piggy that goes wee-wee all the way home.

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10 Ways to Annoy Yer Bathroom Friends

1. Cheer and clap loudly everytime someone breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

2. "Uh-Oh, i knew i shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

4. "Damn, this water's cold."

5. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe in the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

6. Fill up a large flask with Mt. Dew. Squirt it erratically under the still wall of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

7. "Interesting. More sinkers than floaters."

8. Using a small squees tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall of you neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, can you kick that back over here, please?"

9. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!"

10. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

RESTROOM GRAFFITI

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump
here. Your asshole is in Washington.
Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and
tired of putting up with her crap.
Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.

Make love, not war. - Hell, do both, get married