Chapter 3
One hundred and thirty four pounds. Taylor had lost four pounds in the last eight days. A half a pound every day since he started throwing up. He sighed and flopped down on to his bed. At this rate it would take forever to lose all the weight he needed to. Why wasn�t anything in life ever easy for him? He wished he hadn�t promised Dawn he�d go to a party tonight. He was in no mood to stand in a dark, dingy room for hours and slowly lose his hearing from blasting speakers. He didn�t know how to say no to her though. Her voice was filled with hope when she asked him. Since the night he cancelled their plans he at least spoke to her everyday, and to keep her happy he started calling a few of his other friends again.
Tonight a mutual friend of theirs, Matthew, was throwing a party and had invited them. Taylor wasn�t planning on going, but Dawn�s confidence in him gave him no other choice. That�s why he was sitting on the edge of his bed now lacing up his boots, because he promised Dawn he�d be ready for seven-thirty.
The best thing he could think of about tonight was that he wasn�t going to have to throw up. He�d been throwing up four or five times a day and although he was getting used to it, it wasn�t easy. He found it to be a miracle that he hadn�t been caught yet. He tried to pick his times cautiously, when no one was around, but he only had a small window of opportunity before digestion began and it became too late to vomit.
He heard his mother call up the stairs for him. He sighed and splashed some cologne on his neck before heading downstairs. He yelled a good-bye to anyone that might be listening and met Dawn outside.
�Hey,� he said greeting Dawn with a smile. She looked beautiful tonight. Not that it was anything new to her. She was beautiful every single day of her life, but something about the way she looked tonight made his heart stand still. Her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders, curling slightly at the bottom and her light eyes were like beacons in the darkness. Taylor forgot for a moment everything that was wrong with him, and wished nothing more then to be able to kiss her. For just one moment let his lips press against hers, and nothing could ever be wrong again, but the look on her face was friendly, almost innocent, and Taylor knew that the thought never even crossed her mind. With much effort he turned and locked the door.
�Hi Taylor, how are you feeling?�
�Fine,� he said swallowing hard, �You look nice, tonight.�
�Thanks. So do you.�
The darkness masked the blush on Taylor�s cheeks and he knew it was going to be a long night. He opened his car door for her and she got in. As Taylor walked around the back he thought of a movie he�d seen not too long ago, �A Bronx Tale�. One of the male leads tells his young companion about �the door test�. You open the car door for your girl and then you go around the back and look through the rear window. If the girl doesn�t reach across and unlock the door for you, she�s nothing but selfish, and will bring you nothing, but misery, but if she unlocks the door, she�s one of the great ones. One of the ones truly worth falling in love with. Taylor looked through the rear window just as she reached over and unlocked the door. He sighed. He knew she was perfect.
�Dawn! Taylor! How are you?� Matthew asked over the noise as they walked in the room.
�I�m great Matt,� Dawn said leaning over and kissing him on the cheek, �Looks like a hot party.�
�Hope so,� he laughed turning to Taylor, �Taylor, how are you doin�? Long time, no see.�
�Oh I�m alright,� he smiled.
Matthew stayed and spoke with them a few moments before going off to greet more guests. Dawn and Taylor walked around the room, greeting friends and acquaintances. Taylor noticed a young man, about his age across the room looking at Dawn. He had a thick shock of dark blonde hair that fell softly in front of his eyes. He had a tall, lean body, draped in black, making a stark contrast to his clean, pale skin. He was statuesque. Taylor was almost surprised that there wasn�t a sculptor sitting beside this boy carving his image for the ages. Taylor didn�t like the way he looked at Dawn. That was the way David used to look at her when they first met, and the last thing Dawn needed was to get involved with another guy like David. Taylor knew he�d never have her heart, but he wasn�t going to give it to someone else like David, just so he could break it. Taylor put his arm around Dawn hoping to give the blonde boy the impression that Dawn was his girlfriend. It worked, because the blonde boy turned away.
A soft, sweet, slow song began to play and Dawn turned to face Taylor, �Would you dance with me?�
Taylor nodded his head slowly and she took his hand and led him onto the middle of the floor. She put her arms around his waist, and laid her head in his chest. He held her tightly and they swayed softly to the music. His thoughts were clouded and the only thing he could feel was her arms around him. He wanted this so much. More then he wanted air to breathe. He tried to move his lips, to tell her that, but the words fell off his tongue and into the void. He saw the blonde boy looking at them again. It was a sad, thoughtful look, and for a moment Taylor almost felt bad for him. Here he was holding someone who wasn�t his, and pretending to this stranger that she was. He remembered how Dawn wondered when she would meet the perfect guy. Maybe he was the perfect guy. He was certainly beautiful enough. Taylor couldn�t believe he was sitting here wondering if he should offer the love of his life to a total stranger.
Luckily, he didn�t have to wonder long. The song ended and it was like stepping out of a beautiful dream. Dawn stepped away and smiled at him. No one said anything. No one had the chance to. The blonde boy walked over to them.
�Hey, I�m Eric,� he said, to both of them, but clearly to Dawn.
�I�m Dawn, and this is Taylor.�
�Hey,� Taylor mumbled. Unfortunately Eric was even more beautiful up close. Taylor silently prayed that Eric was about to use a really cheesy pick up line. Or make a really perverted comment. Or burst into flames. Anything so that he wouldn�t flirt with Dawn. Especially while he was there to watch. Of course though, Eric remained in one piece and was telling a funny little story to Dawn. Taylor watched her smile at him, and laugh at his jokes, but said nothing.
�Dawn, would you�re boyfriend mind terribly if I stole you away for one dance?� Eric asked looking at Taylor
Taylor swallowed hard, �I�m not her boyfriend.�
�He�s my best friend,� Dawn offered and turned to Taylor, �Gonna be alright over here?�
�Sure.�
Eric lead Dawn off into the crowd and Taylor walked over to the table and picked up a glass of lemonade and swallowed it in one long gulp, knowing that it was a mixture of mostly vodka and some lemon juice. He wanted to be drunk. He wanted to be so drunk that he didn�t know what was happening. He was about to pick up another glass, when he was hit with a wave of nausea. He ran to the bathroom and had barely been able to lock the door before he started to vomit. The vodka mixed with stomach acid burned his throat so much; he could taste blood in his mouth. The pain was so intense that tears formed in his eyes. After it was over he sank down on the bathroom floor, sobbing. He wished tonight were over. He wished he hadn�t come here. He wished he were never born. He felt like the whole world was slipping away from him. Slipping down one giant spiral slide into a place he had never been before. A place that made him afraid to open his eyes. A place he�d give anything to escape.
�Did you have a good time tonight?� Dawn asked Taylor. She felt bad for leaving him at the party. Once Eric found out that Taylor wasn�t her boyfriend he stole her away for more then one dance. When she went off to look for Taylor, he was nowhere to be found.
�Yeah, Matthew always throws a good party,� he asked cautiously, �How did you get along with Eric?�
�Oh, good,� she blushed, �He�s a nice guy. We�re going to a movie next weekend.�
�That�s nice.�
�I�m glad you think so, because I have to ask you a favor.�
�What is it?�
�Would you come with me?� she asked softly.
�You want me to tag-a-long on your date?�
�No of course not. I want you to double with us.�
�No, Dawn,� he said quietly, �I can�t. I don�t have anyone to bring.�
�He�s bringing a girl friend of his.�
�My goodness, Dawn, you want me to go on a blind double date with the friend of some guy I barely know!�
�I know it�s a lot to ask Tay,� she said a puppy dog pout on her lips, �But it�s a good way for me to get to know him, safely. If you are there I know that he isn�t going to try anything, and I know that you are going to tell me the honest truth about what you think of him. And I trust you more then anyone I know.�
Taylor didn�t want to say yes. It would hurt less to rip out his heart with his bare hands than to chaperone her date.
�Besides Taylor,� she said in a barely audible voice, �You haven�t seen anyone seriously since Nicole. Maybe you need to jump out there and start dating again.�
Taylor sighed wishing she hadn�t brought up Nicole. Nicole was his first long time girlfriend. They dated for almost two years. He thought he loved her more then he could love anyone else, and that she loved him just the same. He caught her with another guy and he broke up with her. He was crushed and her family moved away a short time after the break up. At the time Taylor didn�t think things could hurt worse. Until he got a call from her father a little less then a year later, telling him that he had a son. Taylor swore to everyone that he and Nicole never had sex, but no one believed him entirely, except Dawn. She went with Taylor and his father out to Florida, where Nicole had moved and took a paternity test, which proved that there was no way the baby was his. He hadn�t dated a girl since then. He didn�t even look at anyone until he realized how he felt about Dawn.
�Alright Dawn,� he sighed, �I�ll do it.�