It feels as though I'm being ripped apart. The world spins around me as I fall lower and lower. I can't believe what's happing to me. One minute I'm fighting for Harry's life, for my life and the next thing I know is darkness. I hear noises, voices, around me. Laughing, taunting me. I try to stop myself, try to grab something to stop my falling but I only continue. There is no escape I stretch out and all I feel is air. The darkness is haunting, scary. It reminds me of lonely days in Azkaban, days at home with Kreacher.

There's screaming but its not mothers. And someone's calling me. "SIRIUS! SIRIUS!"

"There's nothing you can do, Harry �"

"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"

"It's too late, Harry �"

"We can still reach him �"

"There's nothing you can do, Harry� nothing�. He's gone."

"He hasn't gone!"

"SIRIUS! SIRIUS!"

I try to call back to him but though my lips move no sound comes out. I try again. Harry! HARRY! I'm here I'm fine I'll come back to you! HARRY! I'm COMING! But still nothing and as I try to climb back up to him I begin to fall faster. HARRY! I call out again, HARRY! He can't hear me any more nor can I hear him. The voices around me get louder. They speak soft words full of violence and anger. And there's more screaming, I'm screaming. But still no sounds escape my lips. The screaming is in my head and it rings out loudly around me.

My body feels as though it's melting and I call out for help but it just echoes in my head uselessly. I'm burning and freezing at the same time and my heart feels as though it's being torn from my chest. HARRY! HARRY!

There's a whispering, not in my head, in my ear. Someone right beside me. `Sirius?' I turn but no ones there. `Sirius, come to me.'

Where are you? I ask the darkness around me and I notice I'm disappearing. Help me please!

`Come to me Sirius. Quickly, stay with me.' I know that voice. I remember it so well and it hurts me to hear it again. I'm afraid, because if it is who I believe it to be then I will never be able to see my Harry grow.

`Padfoot please!' I'm disappearing faster and I try to get to them try to call out into the darkness. I'm falling faster and my legs are no longer there. My waist is quickly getting eaten away by the dark as well.

HELP! I cry HELP ME FIND YOU!

`Sirius, Sirius' I fight towards his voice. PRONGS! JAMES! I'M COMING! I'M TRYING!

And then there are arms pulling at me wrapping about me. I cry out for him HELP! HELP! And then the hands pull me further down into the darkness. JAMES! PLEASE!

And now there is another pair pulling me higher up. Pulling me away from the darkness. And I grab hold kicking with the legs that are reappearing. I'm floating upwards now and there's light. So bright it looks as though its pure white but it doesn't burn my eyes as the sun would. And I look beside me and there he is finally, finally I have reached him. And I cry. I cry because I've missed him, because I love him, because I know what it means to see him again. And I can't go back, I don't want to anyway. I'm with him. And there's giggling on my other side. She grabs my hand and we dance, her red hair whipping around her. He grabs us and we walk forward through gates of gold. I look back once more but nothing lies there. James turns my face towards him his eyes sad yet happy. He doesn't speak, none of us do, but I know what he's trying to say. I can never go back. There is no reason too. We will all be together again someday.

"He will not come back," repeated Nick quietly. "He will have� gone on."