"Old Hat" Harvey Danger
Shit!
Kidding folks. In fact, I got 400USD back from our frindly government, thanks in part to the fact that I didn't have to pay for the "rebate" many people got last year. Closed circuit to "President" Bush: It's not a rebate if you have to pay it back, it's an advance (c. Charlie on "The West Wing").
Is it wrong for me to pursue a relationship with a girl I know likes me, but has a boyfriend? I always get myself into these wierd situations. Well, at least when there's a girl who likes me. Normally I just wander through the world waiting for Great Cthulu to suck me into the depths. But every once in a while, a girl comes around and causes me no end of moral dillemmas. It's enough to make a guy not have sex for 2 years.
Two years, April 17th, that is. Gods, I miss sex.
Is it me, or is the news just not interesting lately? I have to write an opinion piece for my newspaper, and I can't find anything interesting to write about. I mean, there's a war, but that's "old hat," as it were. I mean something to sink my teeth into. Something that will raise the cackles of my enemies and detractors on campus. Something that will propell me from my normal villiany into the realm of cartoonish super-villiany (c. Wayland Smithers).
Perhaps I should lower my standards. News-wise, that is. I don't think I can ever lower my standards on women, because then I would be dating men. And I just don't find them attractive.
Ach, I need a drink. Mmm, Bacardi Silver. Try it. It's quite good.
I'm Ken Feucht, and I'm going to Art Bell's website now.