Sometimes I ask why.
Other times I know the answer.
My reflection offers no help.
She just stands there staring as blankly as I am.
Sometimes she makes me so mad.
She is a reminder of a thing
that I want to keep hidden
but I can't hide it from anyone.
Sometimes the tears come.
Other times I force them back.
I laugh to cover the sobs.
I smile and hope
that no one else can see my pain.
Sometimes it is so hard for me
to continue in silence.
My sadness and anger build up
and they want to explode now.
Sometimes I am happy with my friends.
Other times I am alone.
I am left to think about
things that hurt.
I want to take off my mask.
Sometimes I want to keep it on,
just show my spirit
and cover the lack of beauty
that seems to be heart deep.
Sometimes I tell of my pain.
Other times I bury it
miles deeper than a corpse
in the ground.
It is better for others that way.
But sometimes it eats away at me,
starting from the inside,
leading me to decay and break down.
Some time I won't be able to last.
In the infinite darkness of your soul.
In the harvest of madness, in the seeds which you sow.
Lie the jackals of uncertainty that claw at the door.
The time has passed when your hope can last, you reek of death like never before.
Blood from loves long past seep into the earth, reaching for hell.
Like starlight in the east, never released, you were the one who fell.
An historic compilation of pain and discovery.
A faded sensation, your lover has left, taking all of their misery.
Caressing compliments from unfaithful friends.
You end up so betrayed, just the means to an end.
And now we bring to a close this disappointment called life
when Eden is surpassed and when the night becomes paradise.
Blessed love.
Alive and young and beautiful.
Writhing in godly pleasures
with the one with whom
I chose to share my
bodily treasures.
Our flesh intertwined
on the cold, solid ground.
No sacrifice lost here
could ever have been greater,
and no holy fires
could every have burned hotter.
No spiteful sprite
could every have been more cruel
than the Goddess of Love
and her quick childish temper.
Jealous of my perfect love
her magic enveloped me
twisting my muscles,
pulling, pinching,
and raping me of my identity.
Her laughter mixed with my
cries of anguish
in a chorus of such contradictions.
When silence returned
I felt my hair stand on end
and quiver and shake with...
I slid my hand over my face
which now seemed to me
a foreign land
filled with new mountains
and valleys vast.
Straight up
explored my hand further
until a great hissing sounded
and pain exploded
as blood flowed down.
Bitten.
But by what?
Snakes!
Vast quantities
of those horrid creatures.
They were growing from
my soft scalp.
I turned towards my love,
finally waking from unconsciousness,
to beseech his help.
Our eyes met
and mine burned bright
as his skin greyed
and turned to stone.
My eyes.
It was MY eyes
that caused his transformation.
Oh that damned Goddess!
To abuse her powers
and curse me
for my life eternal
with a deadly reminder
of my love of sacrilege
now no more.