"Cool is always easy at a shitty school" - Steve Peck... well really Ultimate Fakebook but Steve put it into such better context.

"You sack of enema water!" - Matt

"I drank a fifth of Beam!" - Gene

"And I also recommend rear entry" - Kristen

"Tit fuckin roclets" - Diana

"Do you think I could wash my foot in your toilet?" - Marty

"Eww. Tastes like slimy speghettios." - Marty after dropping his cigarette in his own puke.

"Cigarettes make my head feel good." - Craig Lewis

"We're gonna wake him up Eagle River style." - Austin

"Figures you'd say Johnson" - Andrew

"If you were a hotdog would you kill yourself?" - Me

"You can suck my dick for two packs of cigarettes." - Tim

"Sean, you don't understand... I HAVE to bone an ice queen tonight." - Ian.

"Whats wrong, ain't you ever been in a cloud before?" - Craig Lewis

"Ff Ff FAT SLUT!!!!" - Me, dammit

"My asshole is burning!" - Liz

"Sean is he pissing there? Stop him! -I can't, I'm on the phone with the pizza guy." - Katie and I

"Whats the big deal?!" - Gene after peeing on Katie's table

"Well its like prostitute sex then isn't it?" - Me

"Wait a minute! Blind people have eyes!!" - Marty

"Uh... they gave me a coupon once." - Marty (talking to mormons)

"Don't get a robot girlfriend, get a robot wife. Robot girlfriends don't do the dishes." - ME!

"I wish I weren't illiterate." - Marty

"Yep, those are some nice whore bruises." - Marty or I

"I'll be alright once the funk hits." - Rob

"Happiness is overrated." - Me

"I think I heard some poobles." - Marty and I

"Take that, merging intersection!" - Marty

"You are Admiral Sudsy McAlcohol" - Me

"It's not irrational. They're such bastards. The way they walk around and pick up fries." - My sister on her hatred of birds

"If only you applied yourself, you could be as awesome as me." - Marty

"I think there was some boo-urger in my puke." - Austin

"Fazolis represents everything that is wrong with this country." - Judd

"Fuck you! I'm going to Cafe En Seine!" - Gene

"You'll be happy to know that I'm about to explode with poop." - Liz

"Look at me!! I'm all sweaty! I look like a honey glazed ham!" - Marty

"You're flag is poking me." "That's not my flag." - Amber and Gene

"Fucking Americans! Get the fuck out of Iraq!" - Random homeless guy

"I hated all the bitches in high school, so I started railing fat chicks in college." - Gene